I am immensely flattered by emails asking if "we" have a Facebook page.
We, er, I don't. I already have two fan pages for two other causes I run and I have found that once you set up the FB page, no really uses the sites much since they can "feed" everything into Facebook.
Thing is, I don't have time to manage an FB page. Also, as far as I know, everyone who reads this site now can access it from work. Most companies block FB.
I like people just coming to the site. Hope you understand.
- CJ
Friday, December 31, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
Somewhat of a hiatus
I'm off work until the 4th of January but will post if there's material available.
I hope all you turnips had a nice Christmas and if any crazy sh*t happens on the trains between now and when I go back to work, please share.
Thanks!
I hope all you turnips had a nice Christmas and if any crazy sh*t happens on the trains between now and when I go back to work, please share.
Thanks!
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Friday, December 24, 2010
Le 'oliday bag rhy-dare et aussi, de foot rhy-dare
Submitted by email to cj@thiscrazytrain.com by Martina N.
Yes, there really *is* a Santa Claus!
UPDATE: He's baaaaacccccckkkkkk!
Through Martina N., he gave ALL OF US this: the GO train busker!
Martina writes: My friend was late and rode in with me on the 8:25 am from Oshawa Thursday morning, and we witnessed a regular rider pull out his guitar and start playing and singing all by himself. He played a bunch of songs including some blues, Beatles, Elton John, Christmas songs... you name it! Our favourite though was the Elton John/Justin Bieber mash-up, as played in the video. Gold!!!
Just after Rouge Hill, a guy upstairs (we were in the middle section) came down and asked him to stop because he was trying to study and people were trying to sleep. I was really tempted to tell him to just move cars if he didn't like it.
This crazy made our day and the Grinch was out to ruin it! Anyway, once we pulled into Union, I told the guitar player that we enjoyed his show and wished him a Merry Christmas.
Through Martina N., he gave ALL OF US this: the GO train busker!
Martina writes: My friend was late and rode in with me on the 8:25 am from Oshawa Thursday morning, and we witnessed a regular rider pull out his guitar and start playing and singing all by himself. He played a bunch of songs including some blues, Beatles, Elton John, Christmas songs... you name it! Our favourite though was the Elton John/Justin Bieber mash-up, as played in the video. Gold!!!
Just after Rouge Hill, a guy upstairs (we were in the middle section) came down and asked him to stop because he was trying to study and people were trying to sleep. I was really tempted to tell him to just move cars if he didn't like it.
This crazy made our day and the Grinch was out to ruin it! Anyway, once we pulled into Union, I told the guitar player that we enjoyed his show and wished him a Merry Christmas.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
How was my train ride home?
Like this cat, I'm excited for Christmas yet pissed off. I'm pissed off at people who whacked me with their overloaded bags of consumerism. Jesus Murphy, drive in if you're going to buy out the entire Eaton Centre on your lunch hour. Why would you try to bring home three bed-in-a-bags on the train? And an artificial tree? Are there no stores in Oshawa?
Bah. Hambug.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
When I grow up, I wanna have boobies
So I can get all my Christmas shopping did at La Senza and brings all ma bras on the train for y'all to look at.
Honey, look at what I bought. And I made sure you can see the tags. "Beyond Cleavage". That's right. "Beyond".
Go on, and be like Heidi Montag's plastic surgeon, and enlarge these puppies to see the full detail.
In case you're wondering, I'm a 34C.
Ooooh, you gonna have some nice fantasies now!
I'm saving the fuchsia one for church.
On Tue, Dec 21, 2010 at 6:09 PM, Todd T (toddxxxxx@me.com) wrote to cj@thiscrazytrain.com:
A couple of young women sat across from me on the LSE 5:53 this evening. Soon after departure they started pulling what seemed like an unending number of intimate apparel items from their bags. The attached picture describes the variety of items better then I could.
Honey, look at what I bought. And I made sure you can see the tags. "Beyond Cleavage". That's right. "Beyond".
Go on, and be like Heidi Montag's plastic surgeon, and enlarge these puppies to see the full detail.
In case you're wondering, I'm a 34C.Ooooh, you gonna have some nice fantasies now!
I'm saving the fuchsia one for church.
On Tue, Dec 21, 2010 at 6:09 PM, Todd T (toddxxxxx@me.com) wrote to cj@thiscrazytrain.com:
A couple of young women sat across from me on the LSE 5:53 this evening. Soon after departure they started pulling what seemed like an unending number of intimate apparel items from their bags. The attached picture describes the variety of items better then I could.
The story of stuff
T'is that time of year where many of us recieve gifts from colleagues and clients.
GO trains were never designed to accomodate bags and laggage so many passengers have to be creative with how they transport stuff. Many just blatantly bag-ride, cramming their Christmas baskets and gift bags onto an empty seat - at rush hour - only to have to remove everything when the train fills and that seat is the only seat left. This happened yesterday.
The lady across from me in the fourth car from the front, on the 5:10, had two gift baskets (one was the size of a two year old) and three large gift bags. She carefully and meticously arranged everything on the seat next to her.
This woman was not a day-tripper. She's a regular because I recognized her. I also got to hear all about her last day at work because she immediately hopped onto her Blackberry once she was done arranging her stuff. Apparently her staff were "extra generous" this year and she was looking forward to her holidays. Then she went on to describe everyting she got ... right down to the last bag of chocolate-covered peanuts in one of her gift baskets.
As people passed us to find places to sit, and one man squeezed himself into the window-seat next to me, it actually looked like she was going to get away with her holiday bag-ride. But no, a lady climbed upstairs at 5:09 and zeroed in on the seat, laden with gifts.
She made her way over and stood right beside the seat and looked at me. I looked back and then went back to my book. It ain't my shit, lady, I thought.
"Excuse me", she says to me to all icy and pissy. "Would you mind moving your stuff?" The owner of this stuff was still yapping into her Blackberry, oblivious to the Mexican stand-off. I put my book down and said, "It's not mine". "It's her's", and I pointed at the lady.
The woman caught my eye and I pointed at her stuff. She said to the person she was talking to, "I have to let you go, someone wants to sit beside me and I have to move my stuff". This wasn't said with a smile by the way.
She looks at the woman waiting and says she needs a minute to find a place for all her gifts. Then she stands up and puts a basket under her seat, a basket under the empty seat and puts all of the gift bags and her purse on her lap. She also made sure to blow out exxagerated breaths so as to insinuate how inconvenienced the lady wanting to sit was making her.
Halfway through the ride, she lost a bag containing a bottle of white wine. It fell and cracked and white wine flooded the floor below us. Now she had a broken bottle to contend with.
This was getting ridiculous. Finally I asked her if she wanted me to hold one of her other two bags.
She also kept checking the one gift basket that was under the other lady's seat which actually got wet from the wine. Why she kept checking it beseeches me. Did she think someone was pilfering her chocolate-covered peanuts?
The woman who asked for the seat got up at Pickering which resulted in the Stuff Lady losing her cool and mumbling to me that "if this woman was riding only to Pickering she could have at least stood!!!"
I said, not to be rude, but did you really have to bring this all home today? Surely some of it could have stayed at the office.
This woman, and I swear this is true, said she thought about it but with Christmas in three days, she can at least re-gift some of the stuff.
What's the moral of this story? I'll tell you. Some bosses don't appreciate the effort and money you spent to buy them a gift because they don't plan on keeping it, apparently.
I wanted to punt her bag I was holding across the aisle. Unreal.
GO trains were never designed to accomodate bags and laggage so many passengers have to be creative with how they transport stuff. Many just blatantly bag-ride, cramming their Christmas baskets and gift bags onto an empty seat - at rush hour - only to have to remove everything when the train fills and that seat is the only seat left. This happened yesterday.
The lady across from me in the fourth car from the front, on the 5:10, had two gift baskets (one was the size of a two year old) and three large gift bags. She carefully and meticously arranged everything on the seat next to her.
This woman was not a day-tripper. She's a regular because I recognized her. I also got to hear all about her last day at work because she immediately hopped onto her Blackberry once she was done arranging her stuff. Apparently her staff were "extra generous" this year and she was looking forward to her holidays. Then she went on to describe everyting she got ... right down to the last bag of chocolate-covered peanuts in one of her gift baskets.
As people passed us to find places to sit, and one man squeezed himself into the window-seat next to me, it actually looked like she was going to get away with her holiday bag-ride. But no, a lady climbed upstairs at 5:09 and zeroed in on the seat, laden with gifts.
She made her way over and stood right beside the seat and looked at me. I looked back and then went back to my book. It ain't my shit, lady, I thought.
"Excuse me", she says to me to all icy and pissy. "Would you mind moving your stuff?" The owner of this stuff was still yapping into her Blackberry, oblivious to the Mexican stand-off. I put my book down and said, "It's not mine". "It's her's", and I pointed at the lady.
The woman caught my eye and I pointed at her stuff. She said to the person she was talking to, "I have to let you go, someone wants to sit beside me and I have to move my stuff". This wasn't said with a smile by the way.
She looks at the woman waiting and says she needs a minute to find a place for all her gifts. Then she stands up and puts a basket under her seat, a basket under the empty seat and puts all of the gift bags and her purse on her lap. She also made sure to blow out exxagerated breaths so as to insinuate how inconvenienced the lady wanting to sit was making her.
Halfway through the ride, she lost a bag containing a bottle of white wine. It fell and cracked and white wine flooded the floor below us. Now she had a broken bottle to contend with.
This was getting ridiculous. Finally I asked her if she wanted me to hold one of her other two bags.
She also kept checking the one gift basket that was under the other lady's seat which actually got wet from the wine. Why she kept checking it beseeches me. Did she think someone was pilfering her chocolate-covered peanuts?
The woman who asked for the seat got up at Pickering which resulted in the Stuff Lady losing her cool and mumbling to me that "if this woman was riding only to Pickering she could have at least stood!!!"
I said, not to be rude, but did you really have to bring this all home today? Surely some of it could have stayed at the office.
This woman, and I swear this is true, said she thought about it but with Christmas in three days, she can at least re-gift some of the stuff.
What's the moral of this story? I'll tell you. Some bosses don't appreciate the effort and money you spent to buy them a gift because they don't plan on keeping it, apparently.
I wanted to punt her bag I was holding across the aisle. Unreal.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Open up and say, "Awww"
Now shut your mouth, dammit!
It's one thing to blow out one's breath in relief, like our good friend Sylvie in this post, it's another to yawn your ass off in another person's face after a long day of eating stale Doritos and sucking on candy canes at your desk.
Cover your damn mouths, you dirty linebackers.
It's one thing to blow out one's breath in relief, like our good friend Sylvie in this post, it's another to yawn your ass off in another person's face after a long day of eating stale Doritos and sucking on candy canes at your desk.
Cover your damn mouths, you dirty linebackers.
Is it ok if I breathe here?
Submitted by email from Sylvie to cj@thiscrazytrain.com
This happened about one year ago (December 30, 2009 to be exact.) After almost a year of house hunting, our offer on the third house we bid on had been accepted on the 24th, and we had the home inspection done on the 29th.
So here I am, mind full, emotions high, making my way into work. We were pulling into Union, and I was standing near the doors as I snapped back to reality. I took a deep breath through my nose and slowly exhaled through my mouth. I was facing straight ahead, still mostly oblivious to other passengers - until the woman to my right blasted me, quite loudly! Apparently my breath touched her, and I was told I shouldn't do that, as it was "gross".
I was stunned. I said to her "it was a breath! Are you saying I shouldn't breathe??" She mumbled on about how disgusting it was and I should not breathe like that. I was never so happy to have the doors open so I could get out of that situation. I was mortified, to say the least.
I didn't cough or sneeze on her. I had brushed my teeth, had not had a coffee (as I know that can make your breath smell), and I don't smoke.
Even now, almost a year later, I feel horrible about that whole experience.
This happened about one year ago (December 30, 2009 to be exact.) After almost a year of house hunting, our offer on the third house we bid on had been accepted on the 24th, and we had the home inspection done on the 29th.
So here I am, mind full, emotions high, making my way into work. We were pulling into Union, and I was standing near the doors as I snapped back to reality. I took a deep breath through my nose and slowly exhaled through my mouth. I was facing straight ahead, still mostly oblivious to other passengers - until the woman to my right blasted me, quite loudly! Apparently my breath touched her, and I was told I shouldn't do that, as it was "gross".
I was stunned. I said to her "it was a breath! Are you saying I shouldn't breathe??" She mumbled on about how disgusting it was and I should not breathe like that. I was never so happy to have the doors open so I could get out of that situation. I was mortified, to say the least.
I didn't cough or sneeze on her. I had brushed my teeth, had not had a coffee (as I know that can make your breath smell), and I don't smoke.
Even now, almost a year later, I feel horrible about that whole experience.
Monday, December 20, 2010
I'm gonna sing christmas carols in your ear
You like that?
I sure do.
I'm no longer sure if I'm expected to forfeit holidays I booked for this Thursday and Friday due to a situation at the office but if I'm on the train Friday, once work lets out at 12pm and I haul ass to catch the 12:13, rest assured I'm singing on the train ride home.
I'm singing it all ... Satan's comin' to town, Santa is a tax collector, Away in a turnip ... We wish you a dirty linebacker and my encore presentation, Park how I want to, which will be sung to the tune of Winter Wonderland.
Then I'm going to open up a big bottle of Bailey's and drink the rest of the ride home. Who's in with me?
What? Did you think I would do this by myself?!
I sure do.
I'm no longer sure if I'm expected to forfeit holidays I booked for this Thursday and Friday due to a situation at the office but if I'm on the train Friday, once work lets out at 12pm and I haul ass to catch the 12:13, rest assured I'm singing on the train ride home.
I'm singing it all ... Satan's comin' to town, Santa is a tax collector, Away in a turnip ... We wish you a dirty linebacker and my encore presentation, Park how I want to, which will be sung to the tune of Winter Wonderland.
Then I'm going to open up a big bottle of Bailey's and drink the rest of the ride home. Who's in with me?
What? Did you think I would do this by myself?!
Friday, December 17, 2010
41 years!? And he's not crazy?!
Last Ride GO Transit's longest-riding commuter, Virgil Duff, arrives on the platform at the same time every day and sits in the same car.Gary Yokoyama/The Hamilton Spectator (linked)
BURLINGTON - “Clear the doors, please, clear the doors. Union Station our next station stop. Union Station.”
Most of the 4,700 GO Train commuters who routinely board the green and white trains at the Burlington station can probably recite the public address stop calls in their sleep.
But imagine if you’d heard those same station announcements every Monday to Friday for not just 12 months of commuting — or five years, 10 years or even 20 years. Imagine if climbing aboard for that Toronto-bound, 50.7-kilometre ride was part of your weekday life for 41 years.
Welcome to Virgil Duff’s commute. All 1,002,750 kilometres of it, the equivalent of going around the world 25 times.
But the end of the commuting line is coming Dec. 24. That’s when the Toronto University Press editor will disembark at Union Station, take the subway to his Bloor Street office, officially retire and end his reign as the longest regular GO rider among the 55 million people who use the service annually.
READ THE REST OF THE STORY AT THE HAMILTON SPECTATOR
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Someone has a bone to pick with Don Cherry
Your sign is missing some commas there, buddy. An "and" would help, too.Free speech should always be nicely wrapped in good grammar!
P.S. Shouldn't the sign be pink?
Snapped today at Union Station by yours truly.
Thank you, you crazy lady, for telling me all about ...
.... your yeast infection!!!
For real. I really wanted to hear all about it. No! No! No! But you so went there!!!
See, when I was stifling my cough, I was stifling my cough so people on the train didn't think I was trying to bring the sick all up in here.
I appreciated your sympathy towards my bronchial woes and what antibiotics have worked for you, but I told you, over and over, I have asthma. Ain't no antibiotic in the world will cure it.
But no, you went on and on about the tamoxifenicillioncrap you took in 1992, and the raging yeast infection it caused, and how you read somewhere (this was before the internet was in our homes so lord knows where you read it, maybe in Good Housekeeping) how slathering yogurt all over your lady bits would solve the problem, only to discover it didn't, so you drove with a burning birth canal to the hospital and got some cream, which put out the fire.
The thing is, you couldn't even keep your damn voice down. You couldn't take the hint when the guy across from us turned up his music. He really didn't want to hear about you baking bread down there.
So thanks. That was super.
A+
For real. I really wanted to hear all about it. No! No! No! But you so went there!!!
See, when I was stifling my cough, I was stifling my cough so people on the train didn't think I was trying to bring the sick all up in here.
I appreciated your sympathy towards my bronchial woes and what antibiotics have worked for you, but I told you, over and over, I have asthma. Ain't no antibiotic in the world will cure it.
But no, you went on and on about the tamoxifenicillioncrap you took in 1992, and the raging yeast infection it caused, and how you read somewhere (this was before the internet was in our homes so lord knows where you read it, maybe in Good Housekeeping) how slathering yogurt all over your lady bits would solve the problem, only to discover it didn't, so you drove with a burning birth canal to the hospital and got some cream, which put out the fire.
The thing is, you couldn't even keep your damn voice down. You couldn't take the hint when the guy across from us turned up his music. He really didn't want to hear about you baking bread down there.
So thanks. That was super.
A+
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Leisurely crowd
Hey.
What up?
Oh, you have 20 minutes until your train leaves?
Super. Then get the hell out of my way, you slowpoke. My train leaves in 3 minutes.
Turtles, keep right. Leave left lane open for people who need to get where they need to go.
- Union Station. Any day. Anytime.
What up?
Oh, you have 20 minutes until your train leaves?
Super. Then get the hell out of my way, you slowpoke. My train leaves in 3 minutes.
Turtles, keep right. Leave left lane open for people who need to get where they need to go.
- Union Station. Any day. Anytime.
Hey, if so-and-so jumped off a bridge, would you jump too? Absolutely!
It only takes one donkey to park where he wants to. In the fire route. The rest follow like sheep.Click the photo to enlarge it.
Submitted by Dan to cj@thiscrazytrain.com. Snapped mid-Fall at the Brampton GO parking lot.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
The one about the service cat
Submitted by email to cj@thiscrazytrain.com
Hello there,
My name is Sophie. On November 22, 2009, my partner and I adopted a cat from the Toronto Humane Society and were bringing him home on the GO train. This was just days before the OSPCA raided the place as part of an investigation into animal cruelty.
I just learned of your site over the weekend. I was Googling information about luggage restrictions on the GO train as my partner and I are trying to plan how we'll get to Pearson for our winter holidays and lo and behold, I clicked on a link you called 'Service Cat' and my jaw dropped to the floor. At first I was a little taken aback as I didn't think my partner and I were talking that loudly, but we had to because we were trying to hear each other over the cat's screaming cries.
I will admit my patience was being tested and when the man got on, I just lost my temper. There were many empty seats around us. He didn't have to stay in our section.
Anyway, thank you for considering our situation as blog material. I didn't think what I said was funny at the time but reading how you wrote it gave me a good laugh.
We wound up naming the cat, "Henry". I've attached a photo for you. He was very happy when we finally got him off the train!
Hello there,
My name is Sophie. On November 22, 2009, my partner and I adopted a cat from the Toronto Humane Society and were bringing him home on the GO train. This was just days before the OSPCA raided the place as part of an investigation into animal cruelty.
I just learned of your site over the weekend. I was Googling information about luggage restrictions on the GO train as my partner and I are trying to plan how we'll get to Pearson for our winter holidays and lo and behold, I clicked on a link you called 'Service Cat' and my jaw dropped to the floor. At first I was a little taken aback as I didn't think my partner and I were talking that loudly, but we had to because we were trying to hear each other over the cat's screaming cries.
I will admit my patience was being tested and when the man got on, I just lost my temper. There were many empty seats around us. He didn't have to stay in our section.
Anyway, thank you for considering our situation as blog material. I didn't think what I said was funny at the time but reading how you wrote it gave me a good laugh.
We wound up naming the cat, "Henry". I've attached a photo for you. He was very happy when we finally got him off the train!
Sometimes I wonder if people ask for it
Had an interesting email exchange with a reader where this came up:
On the train this morning the engineer actually came on the PA system and said something like this:
"To the two people who crossed the tracks in front of the train at Rutherford, please know that if you slip and fall, we will NOT be able to stop. For your safety, please do not cross in front of the train."
By the tone of his voice I felt that he would have liked to have used more colourful language :)
Are people really that stupid? I'm not wishing death on anyone but to cross the tracks in front of a moving train is a reckless decision. I witnessed something similar at Union Station once. This guy with a suitcase crossed platforms 12/13, 11/10 and 8/9. GO transit security finally caught up with him (there are cameras!) and escorted him out of Union Station. Please. I would have fined his ass.
On the train this morning the engineer actually came on the PA system and said something like this:
"To the two people who crossed the tracks in front of the train at Rutherford, please know that if you slip and fall, we will NOT be able to stop. For your safety, please do not cross in front of the train."
By the tone of his voice I felt that he would have liked to have used more colourful language :)
Are people really that stupid? I'm not wishing death on anyone but to cross the tracks in front of a moving train is a reckless decision. I witnessed something similar at Union Station once. This guy with a suitcase crossed platforms 12/13, 11/10 and 8/9. GO transit security finally caught up with him (there are cameras!) and escorted him out of Union Station. Please. I would have fined his ass.
Punk *is* dead
Submitted by Tom W. via email to cj@thiscrazytrain.com
On the Lakeshore East line somewhere in Toronto, there is a wooden fence containing a couple of graffiti tags (which look like they were done by the same person) - "RIP Loki" and "Punk not dead". There are two problems with this:
1) The Norse god Loki is not dead - he is bound up underneath the earth for various naughty doings, there to lie until the Norse Armageddon comes along. (His fellow gods affixed a poisonous snake above him to drip on his face for the rest of time... vengeful lot). The lack of knowledge about basic Norse mythology in today's graffiti artists is disturbing.
2) Punk *is* dead. Deal with it.
Photo Source
On the Lakeshore East line somewhere in Toronto, there is a wooden fence containing a couple of graffiti tags (which look like they were done by the same person) - "RIP Loki" and "Punk not dead". There are two problems with this:
1) The Norse god Loki is not dead - he is bound up underneath the earth for various naughty doings, there to lie until the Norse Armageddon comes along. (His fellow gods affixed a poisonous snake above him to drip on his face for the rest of time... vengeful lot). The lack of knowledge about basic Norse mythology in today's graffiti artists is disturbing.
2) Punk *is* dead. Deal with it.
Photo Source
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