Eaton Centre lady is not happy with us working folk

This morning, I hopped on the 7:21 LSE, originating in Oshawa. By the way, that train can never leave on time. I've also noticed the CSAs can't get it's departure time right, either. Friday, it was the 7:23. Today, it was the 7:21. It doesn't really matter seeing as it doesn't really roll out of Oshawa until 7:25.

When we arrived in Pickering, the train was full - at least my coach was standing room only. This woman gets on with her husband and immediately begins to fret.

"Is there a seat number on that ticket?" she asks her husband, who looks as surprised as her that there are PEOPLE on the train.

He studies their day passes. "No", he says. They climb up the stairs. They come back down the stairs.

The woman looks distraught. "Are we to stand the whole way to Toronto?!" She exclaims while holding her hands out in a "WTF" gesture.

Her husband shakes his head in disgust. "Ridiculous," he says.

"And considering how much we paid!" She laments.

"And then there's the TTC cost to the Eaton Centre!" She says, clearly distressed.

Her husband pulls out a calculator. (Okay, he didn't really pull out a calculator but holy shit folks, if these people had driven from Pickering to the Eaton Centre, the fuel and parking charges would be more than the fares they paid, i.e. senior discount and senior discount, times two).

I get up and offer the woman my seat.

She takes it, which leaves me standing next to her husband. "Is it always like this?" He asks me, surveying the crowd.

"Well," I say, "We are on our way to work and it is rush hour."

"All these people work downtown," his wife muses, somewhat impressed that so many of us have jobs.

"Last time I took the train," says her husband, preparing to entertain me with tales of GO Trains past, "the coaches were never this full."

And the year that was?

1987.

All your space are belong to us

Sean writes:

For consideration on my new favourite blog..... I saw these folks on the TTC train last night going northbound from Union to Finch. Lucky for them, they found that their subway car was equipped with a convenient luggage rack. Lord only knows what they would have done with their bags had someone asked them to move the bags out of the way so they could sit.

Get ready to laugh in 3... 2... 1...

from mjxxxxxx@telus.blackberry.net
to cj@thiscrazytrain.com
date Tue, Nov 15, 2011 at 5:59 PM
(no subject)

Dear CJ

Does that stand for Cunty Jerk? I'm sending you an email because you took it upon yourself to single out my wife in an article on your pathetic website.
Listen, you fucker, I totally believe in karma and one day you'll get yours and hopefully it involves someone pushing you in front of a GO train. You white trash pices of shit Oshawa people think you're above everyone else when I'm sure you grew up on welfare and then landed yourself a legal assistant job somewhere on Bay street so now you think you're hot shit and can cast jugdement on others. See I can judge you!!!!! I will be contacting GOOGLE through my lawyer and you can bet your ass your site will be shit down soon.

Mark.

from cj@thiscrazytrain.com
to mjxxxxxx@telus.blackberry.net
date Tue, Nov 15, 2011 at 7:40 PM
re (no subject)

Hi Mark
My lawyer, Howard Bigfird, has carefully crafted a reply to you. I present it to you unedited. You have to excuse him, he has no thumbs, or fingers for that matter.

ed54kj98mkdel;km kolr09903pofdk;wdl jwddjdfkeriu2376236sagdkjlfgk059t5409 asqw23iu3409dflk ldfk0er9340238230 edewoi opde23-05-0rg;l sdkmwdijdfl psalqwo230 dslkjdf4r jdfkjhd9wwe0kdfpod0rt56hltplkty0gf98945ok56p[hg-0-w0e34 lkdfokdfg909-034okdkfdfg lkgoiio34905dkljd;led poeroper90rj4tpo4 psrierpe0orgport05945-0 weoiuiw3249efwdsfld'f;[rt60=-0-540retpoirel;kdfgp[rty-56=-0rwepokwkldfs;'lertp[retoi432kljef;ldfg[]ertkeio43598-typorglker';54-0erp perklrtkl23j2hukasdwd;loer-09fghfgokl;sfk pwellk4rp[ okfeoe
]
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Don't ask me what the hell that says, but I'm pretty sure there's a few choice words in there. He's pretty straight to the point. Have a great night. And remember, flossing is the first step in preventing gingivitis.

Meanwhile, at the Dixie GO lot

Two donkeys in the handicapped spots. Neither car has a permit and the car on the left can't even park evenly in a spot that's twice the size of a regular spot!

Next!

Well what do we have here? I'm sorry, were you hoping to use the driveway to exit the parking lot? No dice.

Can't get a seat? Seat monkey can be rented for $30 an hour

Thirsty

I was so thirsty (not enough fluids today) and I got to stare at this guy's kegger of Booster Juice for the whole ride home. Actually, dude had a lot of stuff in his man bag. Two Tide pens. A pair of socks. A toothbrush.

I really need to buy a book.

Guess the home gym really worked out for you

Only in Oshawa, you say?

I was in a hurry to get to my car because I was all kinds of hungry and it was after 7:30pm. I don't look down when I walk. It's also dark in the Oshawa GO parking lot so I didn't see the free weights on the ground and I tripped over one. The fact there was a car parked near them also obstructed my view. Luckily I didn't go flying but I did hurt my ankle. I'm ok. Don't panic.

Upon closer inspection I thought this was some lazy attempt at holding down the manhole cover, but the manhole cover was secure.

Who in the hell throws free weights out of a car and leaves them in a parking lot? I'm telling you, people are ridiculous. And negligently stupid.

I picked all 3 up and was going to carry them into the station. But who in the hell would cart those to the Union Station to the lost and found? And who would claim them? So I put them back on the ground in a neat pile on the curb end of the parking row.

I really do make up names

If you text me and I want to save your number in my phone, I will come up with a name I feel describes you best. Doesn't matter if you eventually tell me your name, your legacy will live on in my address book.

Meanwhile at the GO lot in Brampton

from stxxxxxxx@sympatico.ca
to cj@thiscrazytrain.com
date November 14, 2011 8:19 PM
subject douche keyed my car

Some jerk keyed the fender of my car at the Brampton GO Lot today. When I showed up there was a big SUV on one side and a pickup truck on the other so I squeezed my car in between the 2 which means it was a tight fit and it also looked like I was closer to the yellow line of the driver's side. I guess the pickup driver left early because there was another car parked in its spot and that was also a tight fit because an SUV one over from there was too close to the line. I have no idea how the driver of the red car got out of the car because I could barely get my own door open wide enough and had to squeeze in. So what does this person in the red car do? I know they keyed my car. I didn't notice it until I pulled into my garage tonight. I can't believe people would stoop to this level. So immature! Don't you agree?

Stop! In the name of theft

It's one thing to take the sign, it's another to steal the pole, too. Oh, and bringing it home on the TTC? Awesome.

Nice foot ridin' by the photographer.

Presented without comment

Door Donkeys. Not good for my GO rage

I know I'm not alone when I express how irritated I get with the obnoxious volume of laughing and cackling expressed by these gangs of fleas.

They're everywhere. On the 4:10, the 4:25, the 4:53, the 5:10 and the 5:20 LSE trains.

Is it just the LSEs? Are there door donkeys on the LSW? Georgetown? I totally get the desire to want to hang with train friends but I take offense to harsh, loud profane language. I'm not implying that I don't drop the f-bomb myself but there was one woman last night on the 4:53 who couldn't go an entire sentence without "shit" and "fucken" dropped here and there.

When the rest of the train is quiet, cussing sticks out and comes across as incredibly low-class. I don't mind the odd cuss word for emphasis or to express anger but in a casual conversation? Is this a bar? Are you 17 and trying to impress everyone? I also think this one woman really thought she was entertaining and that all of us being subjected to her stories of cleaning her toilet with VIM after she vomits from a night out drinking was okay. It wasn't.

It was vulgar and gross. Some people truly need to grow up.

View from the train

Toro, a TCT reader, just informed me he's posted a photo of the now infamous LSE weed-pool to GO Transit's official Facebook page for inclusion in their photo series entiitled "View from the Train".

I doubt it will stay there for very long unless the folks at MetroLinx have a sense of humor. It is legit. All of us can see this pool in the morning as we look north from any westbound train or eastbound train.

Still funny...

It's like finally getting to see Polkaroo!

I bring you, live in the flesh, a transit officer tagging illegally parked vehicles at the Langstaff GO Station in Richmond Hill.

For those who don't know who Polkaroo is, let me bring you up to speed. When I was a kid I used to watch a show on TVOntario called, The Polka Dot Door. It was songs and stories and a whole lot more.

Hosted by male and female hosts, there would be a point in the episode where the male host would disappear and the female host would be left alone. This is when Polkaroo would show up; a clown-like dinosaur built like a mushroom who only said one word, his name, over and over. The female host would chat him up and then he'd leave. The male host would return only to find out Polkaroo had showed up and would exclaim, "The Polkaroo ... was here ... and I missed him again?!"

You sure did, buddy.

See, I was smart. I was onto this Polkaroo character. It was the male host in disguise. No one could pull the wool over my eyes.

I guess "Transit Safety Investigation" sounds better than "We have to kick a drunk guy off the train"

From: 839846
To: 19054427423
November 14 2011 05:12 PM

TheUNST 16:50 - MILT 17:48 trn delyd 20 mins frmUNST due to a Transit Safety Investigation

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No way, I'm like Eyewitness News, Imma bring you the real story.

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From: 1416918XXXX
To: 19054427423
November 14 2011 05:17 PM

Only thing worse than the leaves causing a problem for you is a drunk making the Milton 450 LSQ train to be delayed 25 mins for me! I'm in the CSA car and he announced a delay to "investigate" something at one end of the train. Comes back and gets another call on his radio that says security is dealing with an intoxicated passenger.

From: 1416918XXXX
To: 19054427423
November 14 2011 05:19 PM

Seriously? Just pull him off the damn train already.
Why in the hell did they find it necessary to chit chat??

From: 19054427423
To: 1416918XXXX
November 14 2011 05:23 PM

I dunno maybe checking for mental health issues? Took some time to look up the closest AA chapter for the guy?

Reedonkeylous. Just toss him off. The end.

West Side Leaf and his gang are at it again

Does no one at GO have access to weather reports?
This heavy rain was in the forecast as far back as Friday.

Were you hoping to be home on time tonight?

Guess again ...

"GO E-News Alert"

Wheel Slip as a Result of Track Conditions
Due to wheel slip as a result of track conditions, passengers on the Lakeshore East line may experience delays of up to 25 minutes to their commute this evening. We apologize for the inconvenience.

Earlier
The Union 15:13 - Oshawa 16:14 train trip is delayed 15 minutes west of Danforth due to wheel slip as a result of track conditions.

The tracks are to be sanded in advance of rain so that the wheels can roll easily over the leaves that stick to the rails like glue causing a vegetation malfunction. At least, this is what all of us were told last year when we learned that GO would no longer have to rely on CN/CP/VIA/CNR (pick one) to prep the tracks in order to prevent wheel slippage because they now own the rails.

So what happened? Who do I have to nutpunch? I say that with affection (no, I don't).

I couldn't find a picture of a menacing bunch of leaves so this is all I could come up with. I know. My artistic prowess amazes me too.


Here's all my coverage about this gang of leaves from years' past. I'm all about safety but I'm also about prevention and having a plan in place to deal with this issue.

I really wanted to be home at a decent time tonight. No, really. I did.

Don't tell me what happens!

Text message from 1416834XXXX
To: 19054427423
November 11 2011 05:52 PM

I'm reading the book Room on the 4:25 LSE and this woman pipes up and asks me how I'm liking the book so far. Then she asks me if I've gotten to the part where "blah blah blah and blah" (I won't spoil it for others). Why do people do that? End of rant.

What we think you're thinking when we can hear your music through your iPod earbuds

Mmm? What kind of waxing?

If you lick it than you should have put a wick in it ... W'oh, oh, oh, oh, o-o-o-o-o-Oh

Text message from 1416929XXXX
To: 19054427423
November 14 2011 06:57 AM

So I'm siting here on the lsw across from this guy whose dressed quite nice, armani jacket, good shoes and b/c I forgot my book in my car, I have no choice but to observe my fellow passengers and I happened to notice that Rico Suave here thinks his Bic pen is a cotton swab. He's been digging in his ear, pulls it out, inspects it, wipes the wax off with his fingers!!!! And then proceeds to keep digging. Thing is, he's not even trying to hide he's doing this. I've got dark glasses on so I don't think he sees me staring and I guess he has no shame b/c every1 around us is asleep.

Text message from 1416929XXXX
To: 19054427423
November 14 2011 07:04 AM

Ok he's finished cleaning his ears and then what does he do?!!!! He licks the end of the pen and slides it back into his breast jacket pocket. Gross!!!!!!!

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The Hell?!