For The Win

My inner, raging, parking-psycho bitch monster loved this.

The note reads:

Dear person,
I'm sorry if I put a dent in your car.
I didn't want to but, I did whne I tryed to park next to you.
I am not leaving my information because you chose to use two spaces and I just wanted to park in one.
The scratches are because I took a towel that had sand on it to try to clean the dent/paint off. Beaches are fun.
Please look your car over for the dent and scratches and next time you see them remember not to park in two spaces.
- Sorry !!!

Presented without comment

Source

Bizarre question from the latest GO survey

GO Passenger Survey

One of the questions also asks why any of us take "the GO Express train"?

Who wrote this survey?

Yes sir, we have a winnah!

Lovingly penned by Shirker

On the LSW yesterday afternoon I spied this foot/bag/coat rider. You can't really tell from the pic (the only one I managed to take before my phone died) but she had her boots up on the seat across from her, her backpack on the seat next to her, and her coat and mittens on the seat across from that. Granted, the train was an all-stops which doesn't get overly crowded, however, there are always at least 2-3 people per quad by the time it leaves Union. This entitled piece of work saw nothing wrong with staking out an entire quad for herself while people were boarding. I saw lots of people head towards her quad, rightfully assuming since there were no people in 3 out of 4 of the seats, they'd be able to sit there. When they got close enough and saw her crap spread out, they'd pause hopefully while she looked up from her phone then looked right back down, forcing them to move along.

As the train was getting more busy, I noticed a bicycle stowed under the stairs with no apparent owner. This isn't the first time I've seen this on the train and have wondered about the Phantom Cyclists (are they in the bathroom? do they just store their bikes there all day and somehow manage to catch the same train home as they rode in on?). I contemplated sending a Shout Out to see if anyone else has noticed this phenomenon but alas, with my phone dead, I could do nothing but read my book.

A few minutes after leaving Union, a rare period of silence on the train was shattered by a loud crash! The orphaned bicycle had fallen over, narrowly missing hitting a girl who was standing by the doors. The foot/bag/coat rider casually looked over her shoulder, audibly sighed, then stood up and went to pick up HER (!!!) bike. Clearly I had underestimated her selfishness as four seats were not enough for her. No sir! She needed SEVEN. This has to be some kind of record. One person single handedly occupying seven seats!?!

After securing her bike, Tippy (as I've dubbed her) returned to her quad and proceeded to have multiple extremely loud and annoying conversations on her phone (which of course had an audible ringer and message alerts turned on). It's like she was competing in some kind of triathalon of bad train behaviour. I was expecting her to pull out some fish with a side of hard boiled eggs as a snack.

The donkeys have found a new poster child.

Cleanliness *is* next to Godliness

With all the foot ridin' that goes on, I know many of you wonder like how I do how the trains manage to remain somewhat cleaner than public buses and subway trains.

I sent an email to GO's customer relations inquiring about train cleaning.

Bitches are fierce. Because here's what they do at Willowbrook:

The bi-level coaches are cleaned on a daily, bi-weekly and semi-annual basis in addition to garbage pick-up that happens at outposts and while the train is in service.

Each day the carpets are vacuumed, the seat frames are wiped down and the cushions are spot checked. When necessary, cushions are removed from the coaches and replaced with clean ones. The old cushions are then deep-cleaned. Seats are also removed and shampooed when needed.

Bi-weekly, they clean the inside of the wheelchair ramp storage pockets, the hand detailing around the side and end doors, the stairway walls and the recessed areas around the handrails.

So more than likely folks, the seats you sit on everyday are not the seats someone sat on the day before.

Burning questions? I get them answered.

Does this still justify dirty feet on the seat? No. Trains are cleaned after each day's service. That's a whole day of dirt that fellow riders don't need on their clothes.

More braggin'

- Submitted

Why I'm not a millionaire

from: tyler z zxxxxxxxxxxx@gmail.com
to: cj@thiscrazytrain.com
date: Sun, Mar 4, 2012 at 3:41 PM
subject: blog

Has MetroLink seen your website? I am shocked that your website is allowed to be online.
I had been searching for GO Transit's blog and came across your link.
Sure, it's for entertainment purposes. Tell me how much you're being paid since this is the biggest online focus group project I've ever seen!
It's the only thing that makes sense.
What I don't understand is why you don't link out to GO Transit.
That would be handy to me as I overheard today they have a blog but I can't find it.


from: cj@thiscrazytrain.com
to: tyler z zxxxxxxxxxxx@gmail.com
date: Sun, Mar 4, 2012 at 7:52 PM
re: blog

Hi there
I'm more than happy to address your email, Tyler.

1. Why would a company in California give two hoots about me?

2. This is Canada. I am allowed to put a website online about commuting on public transit. I'm not doing this from a cave with a coat hanger, so it's not some big secret.

3. GO Transit has a blog?!

4. The answer is ZERO dollars. Bwa ha ha!

5. I don't owe GO Transit a "link out". In fact, I don't owe them anything. As for owing me on the other hand ... still waiting on my paycheque.

6. You have GOOGLE. You knows how to use it.

- CJ

What in Flipper hell?

It's been a while since I've had an Off Topic post. Well here it is.


YAHOO - An Australian woman ­has left her job to pursue her real dream of becoming a mermaid.

After seeing a video online on 'mermaiding,' Mermaid Ayla (as she introduces herself) was inspired to create her own tail, purchase a monofin and learn the all-important dolphin kick, necessary for any budding mermaid.

READ THE REST AFTER THE JUMP

Someone be hatin'

from: April C bxxxxxxxxxxxx@hotmail.com
to: cj@thiscrazytrain.com
date: Mon, Mar 5, 2012 at 11:14 AM

I missed the 7:53 out of Oshawa this morning. I was so close. But, my inability to get the station on time got me a good chuckle. I thought of this post: http://www.thiscrazytrain.com/2012/02/they-see-me-running-they-hating.html

I tapped my Presto and turned onto the platform, fully aware that there was a very slim chance the doors would still be open. It was 7:53 (and many seconds) after all. I saw a few people running down the track but one lady caught my attention. She was waving frantically in the direction of the accessibility coach (but the CSA was not outside of the train that I could see). She ran down to the next car and started furiously pushing the door release button.

This morning was one of those mornings where the doors closed but the train didn't immediately depart from the station. I had time to walk from the end of the platform to the doors on the first car. I was being optimistic and hoped that those doors would pop back open - I wanted to be ready if they did.

They didn't.

Once the train started to pull out of the station (and the woman was still pushing the button as the train started to move) I did the slow walk of shame back to the little house so I could fill up my daughter's presto card (lucky brat is on spring break). Runner/button pusher woman also went into the little house . . . to complain.

She said that she travelled more than 70 kms to get to the GO station (where the hell is she coming from, Peterborough? Take the damn bus!) and she got here ON TIME only to have the train doors close and the train sit at the station for 4 minutes. She proclaimed it to be disgusting. Just disgusting.

No way in hell those doors were closed for 4 minutes while the train just stood in the station because I was standing there too. Maybe 90 seconds. If she got there on time she would have been on the train, not complaining at the ticket booth. What did she expect them to do, turn the train around and send it back for her?

Helper dog

- Submitted

Good morning...

Photo courtesy of some foot rider

Care for a boat ride?

IKEA ad. On the ceiling

Photo credit: @elephantshoes_

No way ...

Let me put my Geek hat on for a sec.

So as you all know the Presto transit usage reports went online this morning, March 2nd (not March 1st - not even close).

I took a look at the code surrounding the PDF file that's been inserted for every user's report.

I think someone went in and added the link for each report manually.

This could explain the delay. It doesn't look like the PDF is pulled from a look-up in a database.

I'm not a programmer, just someone who has spent a lot of time in web development in a site design capacity, so I could be wrong, but I don't think I am.

What I don't understand is why the reports aren't embedded as part of the view?

The site keeps track of transactions made in the last 3 months embedded within the page. Why not just extend this code to 18 months?

Wouldn't this just be easier?

Hey Presto, you're late!

So today, being March 1st, I logged into my account on the Presto website and clicked on the Transit Usage reports because the only thing stopping me from filing my taxes is Presto and guess what?

Nada.

Presto, Y U NO WORK FOR TAXPAYER?!

***UPDATE

According to Twitter @Prestocard, reports will be available after 7pm today.

Think of all the children!

Photo credit: Flickr

ATTENTION FRANCA G. (her email is below) AND ALL YOU DIRTY FOOT RIDERS:

Fellow commuters don't want GO train dirt (see photo above) on their clothes so keep your damn feet off the seats!

Laundry detergent is expensive.

The hydro and water resources used to launder clothing is a strain on the environment and even harder on people's wallets.

If we can all band together to keep everyone's clothes cleaner, we can save our fresh water so we have more to ship in bottles to kids in poorer countries who rely on Canada for clean water to drink.

We can help others save money so they have more to donate to charity rather than buying more Tide, Sunlight or that awful Arm & Hammer crap. Did you know the last time I bought Arm & Hammer it didn't clean a damn thing!?

I must have used a 1/4 of a bottle for one load which I ran through five times.

Imagine all the hydro and water I used for that!? I mean, the whole time I'm thinking how many kids can I feed with this money I'm spending to wash my damn clothes!!! You know what the answer was Franca?! Lots.

So yes, Franca, I am doing my part which is not so much to say for you since you wasted a whole day worrying about me when you could have been visiting an animal shelter hugging puppies or knitting socks for senior citizens - you know, stuff like that.

But who am I to judge?

Hope this puts this into perspective.

- CJ

from: Franca Gxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
to: cj@thiscrazytrain.com
date: Wed, Feb 29, 2012 at 8:44 PM
subject: Feet on the seats

Hello,
I'm sure you spend a great deal of time on your website judging by the content, which is sad, considering there are so many other valuable ways you can give back to your community such as volunteering at soup kitchens, organizing toy drives for kids with cancer or raising money to buy school supplies for kids who don't have any - you know, things like that.
Yet, instead, you choose to single out PAYING customers on a public site for others to poke fun and joke about.
Now, you tell me how this is going to help change the world? How is not having someone's feet on the seat going to make the world you live in better for you? Because I've spent the past day since learning of your site trying to figure out how you having an issue with a person's choice of how they sit on a train is going to, say, prevent a child from dying from hunger. Nope, can't say it will.
Anyhow, have fun with your website.

Franca

The seats on the bus are brown, brown, brown ... brown, brown, brown ...

People are pigs.

- Submitted

Boot ridin'

- Submitted

No pants or Ally McBeal?

Girl made me cold just looking at her.

- Submitted

Manners. Y U NO HAVE?!

As the mother of a 6 year old, I can't even begin to describe the incredible responsibility it is to ensure you raise an obedient, caring and polite child who will hopefully grow into a polite and law-abiding adult.

Right now my daughter is going through this phase of grilling me about bad words. It's awful that she knows so many. She went through a period where she yelled "Dammit!" all the time.

Spongebob Squarepants not on? Dammit!

No hot dogs for dinner? Dammit!

Can't wear the winter boots Gramma bought me to bed? Dammit!

Anyhow, where to go with this? Oh yes. This morning. Of course there's a story!

I took the subway from Union. I got off at Queen (it was a morning where I just didn't feel like walking) and rode the escalator up to the northbound side. The "single" escalator up.

When I take an escalator, I don't use it like I would stairs. I remain standing in one spot and if it's wide enough, I stand to the right.

I'm almost at the top when this guy in a suit (old enough to be my dad) comes flying up behind me (because you could hear a train coming in) and says, "C'mon, come on, COME ON! Bitch! MOVE!" to me.

The hell?

I turned around and told him that an "Excuse me" and "Please" would suffice. In return he muttered something I couldn't make out AND ... AND ... as he ran for the train, which he had plenty of time to catch due to the volume of people waiting, yelled the "C-word" over his shoulder.

I want to say that I pulled off my bag and beat the crap out of him but I didn't because I really am not that kind of person as much I threaten I would do such a thing. I really shouldn't have allowed him to get away with disrespecting me like that seeing as I didn't do anything wrong.

I was super early for work. I could have followed him onto the train. I'm mad that I didn't ask him what his mother did wrong. He should be ashamed of himself.