Thanks to everyone who sent this in

Just sit on the jacket. Done.

- Submitted

---

Speaking of "move all the shit" and "all your space".
On this morning's GO Bus ride, this woman was seated behind the driver, herself positioned by the window, and the seat next to her was occupied by her backpack, jacket, roller blades and helmet.
THERE ARE STORAGE BINS ON GO BUSES.
As we head into Oshawa, some elderly passengers board and I figure she's gonna move her shit. Nope. Instead, these two elderly passengers make their way awkwardly to the middle of the bus. At the next stop, I decide I'm going to get up and say something and I begin to make my way to the front. The driver stops to pick up passengers and one of them is an older woman I see regularly who usually sits up front, so I was ready.
As she boards, I address the seat hog and ask her to store her belongings in the overhead bin to accommodate for those who like to sit up front. She turns to look behind her and tells me there are plenty of seats and makes no effort to move her things.
Everyone finds a seat and I decide whether I want to take this further. I don't. I go sit down.
The seats at the front aren't marked as courtesy seats. Those seats are actually a little further back but this woman was old enough to know better and really should have moved her shit. It's just common courtesy.

All-star foot rider

His shoe tells it like it is...

 - Submitted

Oh, Groupon. Surely you kid

Missed Connections

It's rare I get wrong number text messages.
This gem came in last week.
RT = Random Texter
CJ = Yours Truly
----------------------------------------------------------------

RT: Sooo I'm ready for that cookie now.

CJ: Cookie?

RT: Yeh. Sorry it's Jeannie. We met last week.

CJ: Ohhh Jeannie! Sorry hun. Is chocolate chip ok?

RT: I told you I liked almond. Silly.

CJ: My bad. Sorry. It's been a long day.

RT: Are u ok?

CJ: Yeah, I'll be all right. The cops think it was all a misunderstanding anyway. There shouldn't be any charges.

RT: The cops?! WTF? What happened?

CJ: I don't want you to judge me. It's probably best I don't tell.

RT: You can tell me. How can I judge if I don't know what happened.

CJ: Good point. Okay. Here goes. Just yesterday I was walking down the street when I saw this sweet old lady who reminded me of my nana drop something on the sidewalk and roll under a parked car. I strolled up as she was starting to kneel on the pavement and said I would help her. She asked me to get her pocket watch that belonged to her dead husband that he got in the war after leading a regiment of british soldiers to safety after they dive bombed into some farmers' field or somthing to that effect. You sure you want to hear this?

RT:  Of course?!!! Keep going!

CJ: So she's telling me this and I'm lying on the ground in my Armani suit and Boss loafers and trying to shimmy myself under this car. I realize I'm going to have to try to lie on the roadway in traffic and try to get it as it's too far near the driver-side wheel. So I get up and I turn to tell her that I have to go round to the other side to get it. She stands on the edge of the curb while I wait for traffic to clear. Out of nowhere this guy shows up and asks me if I need a hand and says he'll stand in the traffic lane to keep me safe. I get down on the ground and grab the watch and when I stand back up, the guy sucker punches me, snatches the watch and books it. The lady starts screaming about the watch and I go to run after him. We run across lawns, across a park with kids playing, we jump a fence. He jumps in a pool. I jump into the pool. I caught up with him while he was trying to unlock the gate of this backyard. He knees me in the stomach. I clap him in the ears. Then the next thing I know, the guy sticks his hands down the back of his pants, makes this face and then holds his hands up and tells me the watch is in his ass.

RT: What the hell...???

CJ: I know. Who does that? So I manage to bear hug him and move myself into a position to give him a sleeper hold and tell him to push it out. While all this is going on and I'm telling him to push it out of his ass and I'm practically kneeling over him, this guy comes out onto the back porch and starts making a scene and tells us to get off his property and to get a room and then marches back inside hollering he's calling the cops. I'm yelling at him to do it and that the guy I'm hugging is a thief.

RT: Oh my god. I can't believe this.....

CJ: I know, right?! Crazy. So the cops show up while I'm practically drowning the guy by repeatedly dunking his head in the pool so he'd cough out the watch and they arrest me and this asshole.

RT: Oh my god. I'm so sorry

CJ: Yeah. But the good thing is the lady got her watch back. I told the cops to at least have the decency not to tell her where it had been.

RT: Ew. Did they clean it?

CJ: I hope so

RT: Do you have to go to court?

CJ: No

RT: Did the old lady give you a reward?

CJ: We got married

RT: .......Sorry?!!!! What?!

CJ: Yeah. I wasn't sure how to tell you so I figured I'd give you the backstory first. We're just leaving city hall now.

RT: You married the old lady?

CJ: Yes. Don't be mad.Are you mad? Say no

RT: I don't know what to say. I know I just met you. I'm just a little wierded out.

CJ: I'd still like to buy you that cookie

RT: No, it's ok. I don't need it.

CJ: Can we still be friends?

RT: I don't know.I'm just a little confused...

CJ: Do you want me to text you a pic of my wedding?

RT: No, that's ok.

CJ: Are you sure?

RT: Yeh. Well, congratulations

CJ: Thanks! She's super. She likes it when I call her nana

RT: Um. TMI.... Thanks.... Bye.

I'm not going anywhere!

There seems to be a misunderstanding.

For those who got lost, I'm not sure I can update the site everyday due to how time for me has changed (I have less of it). 

I am also behind on content and have to pick and choose through submissions as not everything I get is worthy of a 'crazy train ride' - this takes time, too.  Eventually I'll get caught up.  In the interim, if you show up here and read this message after wondering why things got so stale, here are some sites you can waste time on:
AwkwardTransit
imgur
abadcaseofthedates.com
clientsfromhell.net
PoorlyDressed

That awkward moment when ...

... you realize you're not texting GO Transit.

Text message from 4168478XXXX (Random Person - RP)
to 19054427423 (Me - CJ)
May 27 2012 3:16 PM

RP: Do you know where specifically in Union Station I go to pick up something from Lost and Found?
CJ: You go to Lost and Found?
RP:  K, I know that but where is it
CJ:  Inside Union Station
RP:  Seriously?! WTF .......where in Union Station???
CJ:  Why don't you call them and ask?
RP:  Call the Lost and Found?
CJ:  Yes
RP:  What's the number?
CJ:  The hell I know? 
RP:  What?
RP:  You don't know the number?
CJ:  No.
RP:  How come you don't know the number?
CJ:  The same reason you don't ... I guess.
RP:  Who the hell is this?
CJ:  Cindy
RP:  Cindy who?
CJ:  Just Cindy
RP:  I want your full name. K? 
CJ:  Why?
RP:  So I can report you
CJ:  To who?
RP:  To your supervisor
CJ:  You mean my mom?
(long pause)
CJ:   Don't worry. The stupid feeling goes away in about a day or so

Grab a Kleenex, this news is gonna rival chopping onions

I've been thinking about this for some time.
It's time for us to consider some distance.

No, it's not you. It's me.

This is so hard to say so I'm just gonna say it ...

I just don't have time for you like I used to.
I realize I set it up that I was always available, by phone, web, tablet and well, this just made you spoiled, didn't it? I mean, we talked EVERYDAY (and the occasional weekend).
It's not that I don't love you like I used to. It's just that ... I may have loved you too much.

Wait, shh, no, there's no other blog. I swear, it's only you.

My life has changed. I've changed. And I have to figure out where you fit.

I've taken up cycling, as you know. I gave up a car and ride the bus now which has made my commute longer and by the time I get home ... well, I'm just tired.

In the mornings, I like to spend train time with my best friend.
No, stop. She's not the reason!
Don't be like that.
Hear me out. Here's what I was thinking.

How about we get together three days a week, okay?

Please stop crying. It's not forever ...

Awkward train situations

Some of the pranks pulled off in this video would probably result in me orchestrating a bag beat-down but since I wasn't the target, I can sit back and laugh at these shenanigans.

Some key parts to highlight:

0:44 Can you do that quietly?
1:03 The non-reaction of the woman near the window in the pink shirt
1:23 ROTFL!!! I've been close to being a target!
1:35 Woman in knit hat is on to them
2:16 Actually saw this once
2:37 Foot rider revenge
3:23 Balls! The balls!
4:51 Good sport

 

I suggest you try this

Source via @lil_nat86 on Twitter

GO Transit given permission to build more bus lanes on Toronto's DVP

Why?

This is why!

Yeah, I know the graphic is a little NSFW but it makes me laugh out loud each time I see it, so it stays. And any time I have an opportunity to use it, Imma gonna.

FULL STORY

Remember what I said?!!

Everytime you put your feet on the seats on any GO train, the guy who *never* plays the lottery buys a ticket and wins $50 million!

Just stop it. You're ruining it for the rest of us!!!

Sh*t just got real on a TTC subway

Source

How was your long weekend? This was mine

I made the mistake of driving to Canada's Wonderland when what I should have done was drive to Yorkdale and take the GO bus.

Lines! Lines! Lines!

Lines to park. Lines to process Season's Passes. After finding out, once I got my daughter's pass and mine, that I would have to line up again to buy a ticket to the Dinosaur attraction, I decided it was time to leave.

We spent 4 hours in lines.

Never again will I set foot in this place on a long weekend. That was a dumb decision on my part.

Personally I prefer to eat with anger, but that's just me

Snapped this last week after my jaunt up to Markham via the Richmond Hill GO corridor.

So GO Transit's Twitter account got hacked...

Screen capture courtesy of @steven_petric

Friday night mess

The 7:17 pm train was disgusting.

It originated in Oshawa and every station in bred riders who didn't bother to take their garbage with them when they got off the train. The first coach heading east was littered with coffee cups, beer cans, fast food containers and wrappers. Lazy asshats.

The foot riders were also in full force judging by the filth on most of the seats.

Nice, huh?

GO Transit News Release: Potential Canadian Pacific Rail strike could impact GO's Milton line and Hamilton station customers

TORONTO, May 21, 2012 /CNW/ - In the event of a Canadian Pacific Rail strike, rail customers along GO Transit's Milton train line and those using Hamilton GO Centre station will be impacted, as there will be no train service on the Milton line and no trains serving Hamilton GO Centre starting Wednesday morning, May 23.

GO Transit has learned that there is the possibility of a strike by Teamsters Canada Rail Conference representing CP Rail train crews and rail traffic controllers.  A strike could occur as early as midnight Tuesday.

If a CP Rail strike occurs, there will be no train service on the Milton line as GO Transit's Milton corridor is owned by CP Rail. We encourage Milton train riders to prepare in advance for alternate ways to get to and from work.  GO Bus service on the Milton line will not be affected and will continue to operate as normal. Passengers are encouraged to consider using the Lakeshore West or Kitchener train lines as possible travel alternatives.

In the event of a strike, service to Hamilton's train station may also be impacted, as CP Rail oversees the tracks in this area. All four trains originating from the Hamilton GO Centre station will now originate from Aldershot GO Station starting Wednesday morning. GO Bus shuttles will be provided to customers from Hamilton to Aldershot.

All other GO Transit rail corridors will be unaffected by a CP Rail strike.

We are continuing to monitor the situation and will provide updates as soon as new information is available.

Customers should visit gotransit.com for up-to-date information, watch and listen to television and radio news reports and sign-up for our On the GO alerts to receive customized, up-to-the-minute emails about changes to their service.

This is your Friday!!!

Presto Validation. Doin' it right?

It's nice to see GO transit and safety officers taking into account that as PRESTO customers, our trips are recorded and there will be days where we do forget to tap on and there will be more of these days come this summer when these instances happen due to the end of punch-style tickets.

Forgiveness should be given to those who are LOYAL and tap and tap and tap! We've all forgotten at least once. Just don't make a habit of it.

from: "Matthew"
to: "cj@thiscrazytrain.com" 
date: Wed, May 16, 2012 at 2:05 PM 
subject: Presto Chronicles?

Was on the 5:15 Union-Georgetown last night.  After Bloor, the GOStapo entered my coach, which was the 2^nd coach from the locomotive, to conduct a fare inspection.  I was seated in the mid-level seats, in the quads farthest from the door between coaches.  I pulled out my Presto card, figuring I was in for an inspection within seconds.  I would end up holding my card in my hand for 25 minutes until 20 seconds before I got off the train at Bramalea, waiting.  I shall explain.

The smaller GOStapo entered and kept walking to the upper level seats.  The freakishly tall, heavy, mean-looking SOB (Imma guess he was about 6’6”, 270lbs) who entered the coach behind him, stayed to inspect our tickets.  This guy could have asked us to hand over our wallets and succeeded with every passenger, he was that big.  But I digress.  He turned to his right (my side of the train) and checked fares for the 4 people there.  No problem.  Turned left, and checked.  3 of 4 were good.  4^th guy was a young lad who claims he forgot to tap his card at Union.  Very creative, right?  Further implicating him is that he claimed to have no ID.  Now, I don’t know about you, but I keep my Presto card in my wallet, with my ID.  But not this guy.  He had nothing.  Driver’s License?  Nope.  Health Card?  No sir.  Student ID?  Nada.  Nothing with his name on it.

So, mean-looking GOStapo guy tells him “Ok...I’ll tell you what I tell everyone else.  We can do this verbally, but if it turns out that you have anything on file with GO Transit, it becomes a criminal charge.”  I’m thinking...the hell?  Criminal charge?  He must be bullshitting.  The kid proceeds to give GOStapo his name, DOB, and address (I say “kid” because his DOB that he said out loud put him at 19 yrs old).  GOStapo phones it in.  After about 10 minutes, he gets a call back from his investigative team who tells him the kid really doesn’t have a record (but they were somehow able to confirm he had a driver’s license?).  They apparently can also check the Presto usage!  He told the guy “Okay, so you don’t have any history on file with GO.  They were able to tell me that, so that’s good.  Also, I can see that you’ve been using your Presto card pretty regularly for several months, so I’m inclined to believe you that this is an isolated incident of forgetting to tap your card.  I’m going to be a nice guy, and give you the benefit of the doubt, and give you a written warning.”

Normally, I’m all “throw the book at ‘em!”...but this day, I have to say, I believed the kid too.  And furthermore, if they can check presto usage, and can see religious tap-on-tap-off activity, and then one day there’s no “tap-on” and you simply forgot, I’d like to think there’s a fighting chance that honest fare-payers like ourselves who might just forget due to being distracted or exhausted, could maybe get a warning too.