This really happened

8:40 am.
On the subway.
Stand near two seats. Can overlook a woman's shoulder. See that she's typing a text message on her iPhone. Notice that signal meter is nil.
She's typing. She sends text. She waits.
Thirty seconds later, she texts in all caps: WHY ARENT U ANSWERING ME???
She huffs. Sends the text. Taps foot.
Train rattles on. She sends another text. U R SUCH A LOSER. WHY DO I BOTHER!!!!
Couldn't help myself. Don't know who she is texting but there is no service in TTC tunnels.
I ask her if she's trying to use her phone and tell her it won't work in the tunnels.
She panics. Says, "Oh shit ...". Asks me how to get the texts out of the phone. Asks if they will still send.
I say I don't know.
She bolts off the subway at the next stop.

Vintage train coach, refurbished, at Oshawa rail yards

I'm a history nerd. I like old shit.
When I was little, I used to harass the neighbourhood kids and my sisters to play "olden days" with me.
I always lived in 1801 and had a horse and carriage with candle-lit lanterns. This kid, Alex, always had to be fucking Superman bringing it like it was 1988 even though I would yell at him that there was no Superman in the "olden days".
Then, years later, this stupid Heritage Minute commercial showed up on the CBC one night about Joe Shuster running towards a train, JUST LIKE THE ONE I SAW THIS MORNING, carrying a drawing of a dude in tights who was faster than a bullet.
Friggen Alex, he never shut up about it. The 1930s were hardly the "olden days", but that damn commercial and its really old train coach didn't help. He still thought it was the 1800s when Superman was "invented".

Did you ride the Lakeshore East after 4 pm on November 21? You may qualify for a service credit

Today is the last day to file so giddy-up on that. For those that don't know, trains were delayed for over 20 minutes due to a broken switch.

My BFF and another train buddy (yes, you Al) filed last week and just received confirmation that, as per GO's Service Guarantee, their requests for a credit to their Presto cards have been approved and are being processed.

Because I'm a skeptic, I held off. Now that I've got proof GO is playing nice, and good on GO by the way, I've applied for a credit. You should too.

Damn you PATH. Damn you

So the idea was I would eat one a day. I bought these this morning. I ate them all.

Agreed. Nowhere else but on mass transit would you voluntarily sit this close to another stranger

Photo courtesy of @paulsurette

In case you were wondering about the train ride home last night after the Grey Cup

People on Twitter were upset with the lack of crowd control at Union Station and that there weren't enough GO trains to handle the crowds. It was standing room only on many coaches.

Photo courtesy of @Smiley008

The Grey Cup special

Apparently many of you Argos fans were doing a good job at pissing off weekend regulars considering the texts and emails I got.
Here's the thing, sure, screaming, "Arrrrrrrgooooos" a few times shows enthusiasm but repeating it about 300 times during a 1-hour train ride makes you a douche, as demonstrated by a reader who claimed after listening to "Arrrrrrrgooooos" for 45-minutes straight prompted her to yell out, "Dooooouuuuchebaaaaag". This resulted in a verbal exchange on the platform at Union between this woman and three, 20-something year old men. Security was summoned.
So you can dish it out, but you can't take it, so you decide to push around a 30-year old woman?
Ridiculous.

Stinky bus ride

This morning I climbed aboard my usual GO bus, happy to see that my regular driver had returned. Last week, we had a new "spare" driver every day. Only one knew where he was going. Three of them tried to turn right onto Bloor Street in Oshawa instead of left towards the GO station which was met with a chorus of "Go left!" from people on the bus.
One driver had difficulty seeing the GO bus stops (I agree, the signs could be bigger) and drove past a few people who then had to run a good 300 meters to where he came to a squealing stop after passengers told him he had missed picking people up.
He missed the Oshawa Centre. I have no idea how one misses the Oshawa Centre, but he did. All of us were patient and gracious. We understand these temporary drivers are from other routes and do their best. It helps to have regular passengers willing to guide a driver to his destination.
Anyhoodles, back to this morning. I tapped my Presto card and moved towards a seat at the back. Within seconds of turning towards to the back of the bus I was assaulted with a waft of cooked cabbage.
So I turned back towards the driver, "What in God's name is that awful smell?" I asked him.
He sniffs and says, "The bus was just cleaned."
I said, "What were they using, cooked cabbage leaves? Is it a new Febreeze fragrance?"
He shrugged, claiming the bus smelled fine to him.
A man turned to me and said he could smell something funky, saying he thought it was just someone eating breakfast.
Gagging, I said loudly, "I honestly don't want to know what kind of breakfast that is... it stinks!"
I sat down, burying my nose in my scarf.
As the bus made its way towards the station, I was watching the reactions of people climbing onto the bus. We're so gracious as a society sometimes. People scrunched up their noses and made faces but no one other than me questioned the smell.
I am telling you, buy a cabbage, boil it and then carry the pot to a bathroom and shut the door. Go in after 20 minutes.
Worst smell ever.
I know this story is lame but I promised a few people I would try to write a post for today. This is all I've got - cooked cabbage on a bus.

In case you were looking for some scrap metal

Photo courtesy of EC@Everywhere

According to this Toronto Star article, it will "cost GO about $35,000 to remove all the machines, including labour and the separation of the parts" and "there are no buyers for the units. That means the electronic parts will be separated from the metal and disposed of by a contractor that certifies an environmentally sound method."

GO, WHY YOU NO PUT ONE IN TRANSIT MUSEUM?

My 7 year old found this hysterical - a transit PSA written to keep people off train tracks

Oh, those Aussies, they're so damn creative. Some of the best road safety PSAs have come out of Australia and now Metro Trains has released this gem:

The PATH is a dangerous place

Now that my foot is better and I'm able to walk without feeling like my foot is being squeezed by a vice with every step, I've gone back to walking underground to and from work.

This is the part where I should mention that I have lost 26 pounds since October 5 of last year.

The biggest changes I made in my lifestyle were giving up sugar, eliminating processed foods, giving up my car (and abandoning the drive-thru) and eating more fresh vegetables. The sugar part was the hardest part - it just about killed me because it's in everything! But you know what's harder? All those food courts! All those cafes!!! It's food. All the time food! Everywhere food!

See, when I get on the bus - no food. When I get on the train - no food. When I get on the subway - no food. When I get into work - no food.

When I walk? Food,  food. food ... and bad food. Croissants, danishes, cupcakes, donuts, and bagels with heaping helpings of cream cheese. And that's just breakfast! Then there's the lunch food. Burgers. Pad thai. Burritos. Subs. Pizza. Veal sandwiches. Panini. Pasta. Shwarma. Falafel. Souvlaki. French fries. OH MY GAWD.

I admit, I lack poor self-control. But I'm wearing a designer pea-coat that would have never fit me last year and I love it and I can't go back to the hippo-wear. I won't do it.

So you know how I deal? I leave all my cards at home except for a credit card locked in my office and carry $5 on me because $5 buys very little and if I break, I won't do a lot of damage. At most, it's something I can burn with the 30-minute round-trip walk.

This has got to get easier. This is what I keep telling myself. I'm 4 pounds away from a 30-pound weight loss.

I can do this! Right?

How do you deal with temptation. Is it just me? Do you give in to all the food?

For the train ride in...

I don`t know what year it was, probably 1998 or so, when I managed a team of internet developers for a dot-com start-up.
We were in San Diego at the time, on an 8-month contract, when I rolled into work one morning to the sounds of hysterical laughter and snickering.
One of the guys had been sent a link to a site where some guy scans the office artwork of his co-workers' children and critiques it for the world to read.
Yes, it sounds cruel, but it was pretty funny.
I laughed right along with them and decided to send the link to my mother.
She called about an hour later telling me that whoever decided to put "that into the Internet" was mean and I was mean for laughing at it.
"You were never bad at art, but laughing at what a five year old draws ... ?" she said. "Not every kid is an artist."
This only made me laugh harder because she'd missed the point completely.
Yesterday, I discovered that the guy behind this hot mess is now a published author. His book chronicles his critiques.
> I Am Better Than Your Kids

GO Transit has slowed down their parking enforcement initiative. The parking donkeys rejoice! And get their bumpers kicked in return it seems

- Clarkson GO Station, submitted

For the train ride home ...

I always enjoy a good blog post that makes me laugh to the point of crying, so enjoy!

The Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog

Some key quotes:

Oh, thank God! Thanksgiving was mere weeks away and I was like OH FUCK, WE'RE OUT OF TWINE. AND WE HAVE NO PLACE TO DISPENSE SAID TWINE.

and 

I also like that these gloves come with the word POTATO labeled across each one. Late at night, I often go digging through my basement screaming, "WHERE ARE THE GODDAMN POTATO GLOVES?" Because I usually end up grabbing the carrot gloves first, you know?

and

What kills me is that there are clearly people out there who have shitloads of money and NO cooking skills who order this shit. Who are these people? How are there so many of them that Williams-Sonoma can sustain its business model? Are we all just racking up massive biscuit debts that will soon break the economy? I imagine that 60 percent of Williams-Sonoma's business come from a group of six Persian oil barons, who buy everything in every catalog five times over every year for no good reason at all. Seventy-two-dollar biscuits.

Ontario Launches GO Train 15-Minute Service Guarantee

McGuinty Government Improving Public Transit

November 14, 2012 10:03 am

Ministry of Transportation

Starting tomorrow, GO Train riders will be able to get a credit if their train arrival is delayed 15 minutes or more.

The new 15-minute service guarantee is another step in Ontario's efforts to continually improve GO customer service. Under the guarantee, riders will get a credit based on the fare they paid. PRESTO users will be able to claim credits for late trips online, at a ticket kiosk or from GO customer service representatives. Single-ride ticket holders, day pass holders and group pass holders will need to claim credit vouchers from GO customer service representatives.

Investing in public transit is part of the McGuinty government's plan to strengthen the economy.  A strong economy protects the services that mean most to Ontario families -- health care and education. 

Quick Facts

• GO trains arrived on schedule 94 per cent of the time this year, up from 87 per cent in 2008.
• Approximately 70 per cent of current delays over 15 minutes would qualify for the credit. Delays beyond GO’s control will not be covered by the credit, including extreme weather conditions as defined by Environment Canada, emergency investigations, track obstructions, pedestrian incidents and on-board medical emergencies.
• Single-ride ticket holders, day pass holders and group pass holders must claim their credit within 24 hours of their train being delayed to be eligible, while PRESTO users must claim their credit within seven days.
• Metrolinx has expanded its GO rail service by 90 kilometres and added 10 new GO stations and 25,000 parking spots since 2003.
• Since 2003, Metrolinx has purchased 285 new bi-level rail cars, 57 new, more powerful, fuel-efficient locomotives, 22 double-deck buses, and 124 additional accessible buses to reach more commuters in the Greater Golden Horseshoe.
• GO buses and trains carry approximately 62 million passengers per year — about 75 per cent by train and 25 per cent by bus.

Quotes

 When commuters take the GO Train, they want peace of mind that their train is going to get to where they need to be, on time. GO Transit’s new 15-minute service guarantee demonstrates how committed we are to getting riders to their destinations on time. Improving public transit encourages more people to leave their cars at home, reducing traffic congestion and keeping our air clean."

Bob Chiarelli

Minister of Transportation

The service guarantee is another example of Metrolinx’ ongoing commitment to customer service. We recognize that reliable service is a key element to ensuring our customers are satisfied customers."

Bruce McCuaig

President and CEO, Metrolinx

Source

Scumbaggery on the LSE. Severed signal cables deemed act of vandalism

These are the scumbags that move through society with us - people who risk the lives of thousands by committing an act that is dangerous and disruptive.
Kudos to GO Transit, Metrolinx and Toronto Police for their diligence overnight to correct the issues caused by this despicable act.

For more, see "GO Transit back on track after fixing cable snipped by vandals" (Global News)

Guess who's back? Back again? Douche is back. Buy him a bed.

Mr Sleep Country here has graced us all with his presence before on this blog.

I *never* have this kind of luck! Presto Card found

My hubby decided to scour the roadside today where the bus drops me off in the evenings and lo and behold, he found my Presto card covered in leaves and debris near a sewer grate.
Call me Miss Cleo!!! Didn't I call it?!!
But seriously, who has this kind of luck?
And my parents said there were no benefits to living out in the country. IN YOUR FACE, I say!!!
So I bought $10 in quick picks for Wednesday's $46 million 6/49 draw.

Ugh. It seems I lost my Presto Card and access to the funds I loaded yesterday

Last night it was pissing down something fierce before I exited the bus so I gather in between wrestling with the hood of my jacket and other fumbling, I must have dropped my Presto card.
I can picture it now, lying in the grass. Maybe it's lying in the gutter. Maybe it's been carried down to the sewer. Maybe it's in a big sewer pipe floating towards Lake Ontario.
Le sigh.
All I know is that when the bus pulled up to the curb this morning and I reached into the pocket of my purse where I keep my card, it wasn't there.
Mr. Very Understanding Bus Driver Who Was New let me ride to the station. While on the bus, I tore my purse apart. No dice.
At the station, the GO attendant put my lost card on a hotlist and gave me a temporary card that I loaded with $60.00.
Oh, here's the kicker, boys and girls. Yesterday morning, at 9:15, I loaded $150 on the card using Presto's website and subsequent taps for the ride home hadn't transferred the balance to the card.
There's $150 of my money floating around in banking cyberspace that I won't see again until:

• Someone finds my lost card and taps it (the balance will transfer but the card then locks)
• I find my card and tap it, but I wouldn't be able to use it because I would have to unlock it by calling Presto
• 30 days from yesterday has passed. I won't see that money again until Dec 12.

I don't know who designed this system but that's pretty shitty.
Thankfully, it's not going to hurt me financially as I can manage to pay for my transit between now and then, but I immediately think about people who live paycheque to paycheque.
I'm hoping someone does me a favour and finds my card and taps it, thinking they'll get a free ride. The only way Presto can transfer the $150.00 I loaded yesterday over to my replacement card is the money has to be transferred to the chip on that card.
If the balance doesn't transfer by December 12, the money will be returned to my bank account. Until the money is transferred, I don't have access to it.
The current balance of my lost card is $23.33. Tomorrow, I can call Presto and have that balance transferred over to my replacement card.
I've been told not to register the replacement card. We all know that having lost this card now jeopardizes my eligibility for the transit tax credit for the month of November.
Once I am sure my old card is indeed gone forever, I will register the new card and like the good, mistrustful person I am, I've been downloading my transit usage reports monthly. I have a record of all of my trips for September to October.
Presto doesn't transfer over your transit usage to replacement cards. I stand corrected. 
The only thing I am grateful for is that I no longer deal with passes. Had I lost my monthly pass for November, there would be no $286.00 finding its way back to my bank account on December 12.

Just a trash can, and a bench, sunken into the ground

Kudos to Oshawa Parks and Rec.
They still put a bag in it.

  - Bus stop on King Street, east of Ritson Road