If you have to start your day with alcohol ...

Well of course you do! Look at what we deal with every day on the train!

from:		McM xxxxxxx@xxxxxxxxxx.com
to:		"cj@thiscrazytrain.com"
date:		Tue, Sep 4, 2012 at 9:12 AM
subject:		Bourbon Breath

On the 07:45 Pickering-Union LSE this morning.  I got on at Guildwood (one coach east of the accessibility coach) and went to a nearly-empty quad (window seat) on the mid-level seats at the end of the coach, diagonally from a middle-aged man (who am I kidding though, I’m pushing middle aged too...let’s just say the only difference between him and me is that I presently have more hair) who was taking down crossword after crossword, and then shredding sudoku’s like he wrote them himself.  I mean, in a 29 minute train ride this guy must have plowed through 5 puzzles in total.  He would start top-left corner of the puzzle (either type), and just systematically fill in all the empty boxes within 5 minutes, and move on to the next.  I assume he was putting in correct answers, because I did see him make a revision once or twice.

At Eglinton, a young guy in his 20’s got on and sat beside me (aisle seat), leaving the corner/window seat as the last empty seat of the quad.  At Scarborough, a 40-something woman got on the train and sat across from me, beside Mr. Crossword.  I immediately smelled what I thought was alcohol, but wasn’t 100% sure because sometimes the right mix of coffee, perfume and aftershave can throw off one’s senses.  I didn’t give it another thought.  Until she coughed.  Lord almighty, it was like Jack Daniels himself was trying to crawl out of this woman’s mouth.  Baldy McCrossword stopped, literally mid-word that he was writing, and looked around (but discreetly did NOT look at what he and I both knew was the source of the smell), and then proceeded to go back to his puzzle.

I have seen/smelled people with this level of distillery on their person on the evening trains, and I honestly don’t judge.  At 5pm and beyond, if they’ve had a couple of drinks after work with friends and are taking public transit home (assuming that they aren’t driving home from their destination station), then all the power to you.  I know I’ve had a few GO rides home where I probably smelled just this side of a barley sandwich.  But this woman got on the train at 8:12am, smelling like she did.  Strangely, my first instinct wasn’t disgust (that was second), it was pity.  Anyone drinking that much, that early, has a serious problem, and I felt bad for her.

I think I’ve been watching too much Intervention on TV.