A case of smugness

I'm still in pain today.

Last night, with one seat left on the 5:10 pm train that happened to be the window seat next to me, this woman in a flurry of bags, scarves, perfume and hair, charged up the aisle and did a failed Olympic leap over me, slamming her hard-shell laptop case into my left knee. I cried out in pain, startling a few passengers. It hurt like a mofo.

I screwed my eyes shut and asked her why she did that (through clenched teeth). She feigned ignorance. I told her loudly all she had to do was ask and I would have swung my legs out for her. She ignored me while she adjusted her bags and ACTUALLY INSPECTED HER LAPTOP CASE.

Maybe it's the Naproxen I'm taking for my tennis elbow (one of the side effects is sudden mood swings), but I wanted to grab that case out of her hands and throw it off the train. She was pissed I confronted her and began texting about me to a friend called Ness. I took out my phone and began taking photos of my knee from a variety of angles and then proceeded to take selfies of myself making a bunch of faces which really annoyed her. This was met with very puzzled looks from the only person awake seated near us. Everyone else was in a coma.

She was so incredibly smug. It was vomit-inducing.

GO Transit comes through! Loyalty discount recovered

Remember how I had my Presto card pick-pocketed and I lost my loyalty discount for May? Well the folks at GO Transit, specifically a lovely man named Michael, came through for me.

I will be receiving a credit voucher in the mail for the amount I paid in May that should have been discounted.   This is great news. Michael remained diligent throughout the process, especially through the recent Presto upgrade, which made his job even more challenging when trying to establish my transit usage.

As I've said before, if you feel you're talking in circles when dealing with Presto, try dealing with GO Transit instead.

Don't you just love the self-entitled?

What kind of night did he have?

- Submitted

Sometimes true love just can't be helped

- Submitted

Surprisingly, Rob Ford wasn't involved

From the Toronto Star

GO Transit officials are reviewing an incident in which a Toronto Star reporter was arrested, put in headlock, handcuffed and ticketed with trespassing for taking pictures of an injured officer at Union Station.

READ MORE

When you don't have tape ... make lemonade (rhymes with band-aid)

- Submitted (Stay classy GO bus driver)

I feel like one of these some days, too, on the train, but filled with vodka

- Submitted

Ahem...

Off the Rails ‏@GoTrainAvenger

Someone left some questionable reading material on the back of their car at Aldershot #gotrain station recently.

Important announcement from Greyskull and Clark, Cattorneys-at-law

Meow,

Muw, morh mar mea ... mer mei. mee!

Mew,
(Yawn) Meh

Don't ask me what this means. I was just asked to publish it in response to this text message. If you're fluent in "cat", let me know what they said.

from:		Rogers Extreme Text Messaging
to:		cj@thiscrazytrain.com
date:		Fri, May 31, 2013 at 8:23 AM
subject:		Copied Text Message From 1905436XXXX

hey dumb duck. hope u got a good lawyer because im sue u for what u said about me on the internet. lawyer up baby. im take it all!!!!!!!!!

Not sure if dreadlock wig, dog, purse or tarantula...

Love the Betty Draper inspired dress and pearls tho.

- Submitted

That's part of a squeegee attached to a hat, on top a person's head. Fashion. She has it.

Oh those hipsters ...

Source: brockbank86

Rolling along like it's my living room

Please. Relax. Don't mind us. Go ahead, take your shoes off. We don't mind the aromatic smell of sweaty socks.

In fact, here's a hot tub for you. And a girlfriend. Enjoy.

Hot tub photo source

This guy. Keeping you safe from dragons on Coach #2004

- Submitted

This may be a stupid question... but how does a service disruption on the Barrie corridor affect Oshawa departure trains?

This email from came in from GO Transit:

Oshawa 08:25 - Union 09:18 train - Cancelled

The Oshawa 08:25 - Union 09:18 train trip is cancelled due to a trespasser fatality on the Barrie Line. Your next scheduled service is the Oshawa 08:38 - Union 09:41 train trip. However, for those of you that need to arrive Union Station a little earlier, the earlier express train departing Oshawa 07:53 - Union 08:43 has been modified to make an additional stop at Rouge Hill at 08:22.

More about the disruption here...

The pedestrian fatality happened, it appears, before 5:30 am just north of the East Gwillimbury GO Station.

My condolences to the family of the victim.

I wish this was photoshopped, but it's not ... who wants burgers?!

And to think, getting this home cost hundreds less than a courier or a cab. Not sure what to think of this, other than it should be rolled off a cliff.

It doesn't belong on the accessibility coach.

That space is for wheelchairs. For people in wheelchairs (or a scooter). Can you imagine? Some poor soul doesn't get on a train because a fucking BBQ is on board? I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I mean, honestly, I'm laughing but c'mon ... in all seriousness - someone has to draw a line...

- Submitted

Not all smokers are douchepicks

from:		donotreply@rci.rogers.com
to:		cj@thiscrazytrain.com
date:		Mon, May 27, 2013 at 8:25 AM
subject:		Copied Text Message From Random Stranger

I just saw the most amazing thing at oshawa station. A young couple was smoking as they walked toward the platform. She saw the no smoking signs, pointed and stopped her travelmate. They were probably still too close to the presto machines but she saw the sign, knew what it meant and obeyed. I must be halucinating

--------------------------------
From: 19054427423 - CJ
To: 1289200XXXX
May 27 2013 08:58 AM
You're not. Not all smokers are douchepicks. Your story gives me hope.

--------------------------------
From: 1289200XXXX - Random Stranger
To: 19054427423
May 27 2013 08:59 AM

They were young and looked like they would have been 'douchepicks'. He wanted to walk onto the platform, she said 'we are almost done'. I almost hugged her

--------------------------------
From: 19054427423 - CJ
To: 1289200XXX
May 27 2013 09:01 AM

You mean bring the crazy? Hugging would do that.

--------------------------------
From: 1289200XXXX - Random Stranger
To: 19054427423
May 27 2013 09:02 AM

Hugging strangers is crazy? .... Explains so much about my life. Have a great day

--------------------------------
From: 19054427423 - CJ
To: 1289200XXXX
May 27 2013 09:03 AM

It's not the 1940s! You too!

I'm down with this but the money better go where it should

From the Toronto Star
re: Metrolinx Big Move

Metrolinx backs hikes in HST, gas tax and new parking levy

It will cost the average Toronto region household an additional $477 a year in taxes to overcome a generation of public transit neglect and crippling road congestion under a transit investment strategy being unveiled by Metrolinx on Monday.

KEEP READING

And the parking donkeys keep giving us the stupid at Oshawa GO Station

Source: mrsreedforever

Then there's this parking donkey superstar at Guildwood GO Station.

- Submitted

Have you seen this note from GO? PRESTO undergoing a system upgrade, self-automated services affected

The PRESTO website, prestocard.ca will undergo a system upgrade from May 31-June 2 to provide important updates and introduce new features. An easier way to login and manage your account, a simplified way to set student, child and senior discounts on your card, and a more intuitive online experience will make the PRESTO card easier to use.

You can still use your PRESTO card to travel, however, during this time you will not be able to:

• access your account
• load money on your card
• register or activate your card
• set up contracts on your card
• make a GO Service Guarantee claim online

If you need to load money on to your card, please do so prior to May 29. If you need to do anything else listed above, please do so prior May 31. As always, you will still be able to load money onto your card at any GO Station or GO ticket agency at any time.