Health update: I'm a cycling machine

As most of you know, I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself back in April, brushed off my bike and got back on the proverbial horse, despite pain and injury. My highest weight in 2017 was 286 pounds. Today I weigh...

... are you ready for it?

258.4

This has been the most frustrating journey to get here but I persevered and pulled off this:

It's been a little hairy to ride in the evenings in Courtice. The town itself isn't very big and there are only three bike lanes - none of which are connected. To really get a good distance, I'd ride up to Hampton (and to Enniskillen on weekends) but it's too dangerous to ride the narrow, rural roads at night. So my night rides have been short, about 15 km, and infrequent, because although I'm prepared for the cold, I really do not like riding in wind, and it's been really windy.

But I gotta keep moving, right? So at the beginning of the month I forced my husband off the couch and now we walk, five times a week. We're averaging about 3 km a walk because my knees get extremely sore as they are riddled with arthritis. We walked 4.5 km recently and I was almost crippled by the time I got home. But ride 35 km non-stop? No problem. 

Someone mentioned putting together a Crazy Train cycling group for the Ride for Heart this coming June. I'm down. I'll post details on here, and on Twitter, once it's closer to registration. Now don't get too excited, I'm only interested in the 25 km route.

I haven't done a 50 km ride yet. My longest distance is 36 km. Let's stay realistic, k?

The goal now is to get to 238 pounds which was my original goal weight and I made it back in March of 2014. It is totally possible to lose 20 pounds in four months and I'm going to try my hardest to get there.

So, how's the cycling going ...?

Great!

Despite the ridiculous weather pattern swings... I managed to get into a routine (cycling posts are still public on Facebook for those cheering me on). Friday night, I had a personal best of 30 km in under 2 hours. And as you can see from the scale picture above, I'm down 20 pounds from my highest weight this year.

I have gained back most of my mobility. There is now renewed strength in my quads. I can sort of stand up and pedal but it's wonky - the balance isn't there yet.

My new bike outperforms my old bike in ways I have come to appreciate, especially when climbing hills. It's lighter and easier to manipulate.

But the best part of this weight loss is the clothes. I can fit into almost everything in my closet but at least, I can wear all my spring and summer pieces. I am continuing to listen to my body. I take breaks. I switch up my routes. I rest. But some rides, I do push myself only to see if I can do it and when I do it, I break into tears every single time.

The police called us to tell us they have a possible ID on one of the kids who stole Veronica, but there's been no further development.

I really doubt I'll ever see that bike again.

Bought a Betty

I've resigned myself to the fact that Veronica is gone and forked out for a new bike (and all new lights, accessories, reflective tape, etc...). I went back to Impala Bicycles in Whitby since they were great to me the first time, even though they no longer sell Giant bikes. I settled on a Specialized Crossroads S/T.

Betty, as I've named her, is 12 pounds lighter than my previous girl (I miss you, Veronica! *sob*). I will admit this weight difference has made a big difference in my rides. Hills are easier and I get better speed. I rode to Hampton from Courtice twice this weekend since the ride was so comfortable. Her tires are wider which makes for a better grip when I drift onto soft shoulders. I'm happy with her.

I also want to thank everyone who shared my search to reclaim Veronica. I deeply appreciate these efforts. I also want to publicly thank a lovely woman who reached out to me to offer me a used bike. I took her up on this offer as I had promised my daughter a bike this year. That meant a lot to me. Thank you.

500 km in 30 days - I can do this!

Nothing like a nice walk down memory lane, right?

2014 was shaping up to be a really great year. I had started moving my fat ass shortly after December 4, 2011 when I turned in the keys to my leased Chevy Equinox and walked away from car ownership. I was car free for almost six years. But now I drive a Fiat. Don't judge.

I walked EVERYWHERE. And I took the kid with me. We walked to daycare, to the store, to the park, to the library, to swimming lessons. Then I bought a bike - a real shitty one off of Kijiji, with a bike trailer and I rode it EVERYWHERE. I took the kid with me. To daycare, to the store, to the park, to the library ... you get the idea.

I then took up long distance walking, averaging 10 km a night for five nights out of a week. I walked through the ice storm, through rain, hail, over ice, through heavy snow and once, in a blizzard (uphill, too). I lost 90 pounds in under two years.

Fast forward to Thanksgiving 2014. I'm the most fit I've ever been but unbeknownst to me, my right knee was having no more of this shit, and I blew out my ACL while trying to take up running. It was a stupid move.

For those of you who have heard all of this before, I'm glad you're hanging in there. It's repetitious because I have to tell the 'new to this blog' folks my whole life story. Forgive me.

Long story short, I injured many other parts of my legs and feet, and in the middle of this past April, after a really bad day and many months of feeling sorry for myself, AND piling on 30 pounds over the past two years, I decided I had enough.

That's me, a year ago to this day. Injured and miserable.

Despite the pain, I was going to cycle 500 km in 30 days. I got back in touch with my dietitian. We worked out a plan and I was going to commit to it. The first week was hell. I also was told to quit alcohol. Although I am NOT an alcoholic, I can sympathize greatly with those who struggle to abstain because THEY HAVE TO, and not by choice. Next to giving up sugar, abstaining from alcohol is god damn hard because I LOVE TO DRINK. Unfortunately, my body doesn't like it, and it causes all kinds of bloating and inflammation I just don't need.

Advil Arthitis in its pretty yellow and teal bottle is my only vice these days.

To track my cycling progress, I am using S-Health which is built into my Samsung S7 with GPS enabled. I also hooked up my Adidas fitness tracker and was surprised by how accurate S-Health is. I no longer strap on the Adidas device.

For simplicity, and for those who want to follow along, I've made all of my cycling posts public on Facebook. I reached 200 km last night in 11 days of bicycling.



For those who are thinking of trying this same challenge, I encourage you to invest in a good hybrid bike. I gave up the shitty Kijiji bike in June of 2015. You don't need to spend a lot of money. The one I have is the Giant LIV Cypress DX W - the W stands for women and it comes with a saddle specially designed for our lady bits. I've put over 2000km on this girl and it's still going strong. Also, don't clip your feet. You're not trying out for the Tour de France here. You'll want to be able to kick your legs out as you go down a hill, trust me. It's exhilarating. Start out slow before you ramp up to 500 km in 30 days. Stretch. Do hamstring curls. Take care of your ankles. Follow AskDoctorJo on YouTube. Her videos will help you get your body ready.

I also suggest that you buy a nice sized jar of Vaseline. There are all kinds of special cycling pastes and creams sold to ease saddle soreness and chafing, but Vaseline or its econo version, Petroleum Jelly (same thing really, just not name brand) will quickly become your best friend. And don't be stingy, coat it on, coat it everywhere, in all the valleys and crannies, ladies. Don't spend money on fancy cycling clothes. You don't need them. Tights and a t-shirt, or long sleeve shirt, whatever, it works (and for god's sake, don't wear black - you need to be visible). Don't wear a windbreaker. They act like fucking parachutes. I learned the hard way. You'll also want lights, flashing lights, a headlight, reflective tape, wrap around glasses (because bugs!) helmet, horn (not a bell, HORN) and tunes. Buy a bike mount for your phone so you can listen to your music as you ride. Don't use headphones. You need to hear cars. 

I'm lucky I live less than 2 km from some of the most amazing rural road bike routes in Durham Region, which is why I can cover the distance that I do. Find out where your local bike paths are, and bike lanes, and use Map My Ride to plan a route. Or, come out my way, park your car in the plaza at Highway 2 and Courtice Road, and just ride. And for god's sake, for the love of all things holy, STOP AT STOP SIGNS. I have zero respect for cyclists who blow through them. All you do is piss off drivers who then decide that I'm one of you, and so they do stupid things to "teach me a lesson". You're feeding into the game. Just obey the rules of the road. Don't be a dick.

I've lost 10.8 pounds in the past month and I'm down 14 pounds from my highest weight this year. My muscles and tendons have loosened up. The strength in my quads has slowly returned. I can get up off a chair without pushing myself up with my arms. I can now wear 65% of the clothes in my closet, up from 25%, and I move better. There's still pain, I won't lie, but it is no where near the level it was before April.

I have accepted that I will never be able to run again and though I've tried, I can no longer play tennis and probably never will again. That's been the hardest part of all this. I've played tennis since I was six years old. It was my passion. I can't part with my rackets. Tennis was a part of my life that was great and rewarding.
It's been heartbreaking to accept.

I'm also being careful to listen to my body. I rest when I should. The anxiety I had about re-injuring myself has greatly subsided.

I'm not a pro athlete and never will be. I'm just a fat girl on a bike.

Now that the pity party is over and I've re-focused, I'm challenging myself!

Tuesday was a horrible day. I had biked the night before but the achilles pain was like fire all day and I was cranky, weepy and truly a hot mess. I kept crying on the bus ride home prompting a few looks of concern. I went to physio, had acupucture and went to bed telling myself I can do this.

Monday night I pulled this off:

But as I said, I paid for it on Tuesday. I think I was in so much pain because I was depressed and feeling very negative.

I also starting "patching" again on Tuesday night and felt much better yesterday. Patching helped to ease the bursitis in my knees and my doctor, by email, okayed me to start patching the achilles area of my right foot. I also upped my arthritis medication and felt immediate relief.

So last night, I set out to see if I could push myself further on the bike and this happened:

Today I feel great. I'm sore but there is no pain. The ankle is tender and surprisingly, there's no inflammation or swelling present in my knees. I was able to get out of bed this morning without hobbling.

I also worked up the nerve to weigh myself and the scale high-fived back with 277.6 pounds. That's a 6.4 pound loss since my highest weight this year of 284.

One thing I am most grateful for, because it is nerve wracking to put yourself out there, is how supportive all the crazy train fans have been. After I tweeted the Back in the saddle post on Twitter, I received a few text messages from people who appreciated I put my story out there. I also received some recommendations for personal trainers and doctors who can work with me. I am weighing these options. I am happy with my medical level of care so I don't think I will change that, but I think some personal training will help with my muscle weakness, imbalance and lack of core strength.

Thank you for being my friend, friends!

Back in the saddle even though I'm a mess

It'll be a year this May 2 when I tore my left leg's hamstring. It has not been an easy recovery and I'm left with so many issues stemming from this injury (weight gain, mental distress, anxiety, depression). I've also developed other problems that have become aggravated by the injury and the recovery process.

The worst has to be that I developed pes anserine bursitis in both knees. This is a painful condition that makes walking down hills and stairs difficult and challenging. To add to the pile of woe, I also have iliotibial band syndrome (IT band for short) in my left leg (I'm telling you the fun never ends). But wait, there's more! Just recently I was diagnosed with achilles tendinosis in my right foot - this is truly a party that never stops. I can only wear flat shoes which aggravates my left foot and is probably going to result in extensor tendonitis, a condition I've had before and is most painful first thing in the morning. There's been some discomfort which tells me it's inevitable.

I spent most of the summer crying myself to sleep, crying in the shower and just being fucking miserable. It wasn't any better emotionally leading up to Christmas. Depression set in when I found myself sized out of 90% of the clothing in my closet resulting in me breaking down and buying clothes in a size (22/24) I haven't worn in over three years.

I spent two years changing everything about myself which resulted in a 90 pound weight loss. I started in February 2012, two months after ditching my car and relying solely on my two feet and local transit to get to and from the GO station. My highest weight was 326, possibly 336 (this is a guess since my scale maxed out at 320). I made it all the way down to 250 in February 2014. My goal was 236 pounds. I got down to 246 but struggled all summer of 2014 to stay there. I plateaued at 256 until Thanksgiving of that same year when I blew out my right knee while running (I was running 2 km which was impressive considering my osteoarthritis). I tore my right ACL. The recovery was long and painful. Just when I was starting to feel better, I fell down the stairs of a double decker GO bus which resulted in me developing infrapatellar bursitis in the right knee.

Even now, just writing this all out I'm left with a sense of despair.

The only thing that saved me from the 2014 injury was taking up long-distance road cycling. At my peak, I was cycling 400 km a month - mostly evening and weekend rides. Now that my kid is finished daycare, I'm considering cycling from Courtice to the Oshawa GO station but the amount of trucks and crazy, distracted drivers terrify the shit out of me. I haven't worked up the nerve. My only options are Bloor Street or Highway 2. These are extremely busy arteries at rush hour and I'm convinced I'll be writing my own death sentence if I do it. There are no bike paths I can take that are a direct route. Cycling out in Durham really is a suicide mission. It's not like cycling in Toronto. Drivers aren't looking for cyclists and when they do see you, most try to run you off the road. Or maybe it's my own paranoia that feeds into my distrust...

Cycling helped my right leg get better. And when Spring rolled around last year, I was eager to get back into my cycling routine. I had no idea that all the cycling from the year before had over-lengthened my hamstrings (due to a poor seat position most likely) which made me vulnerable to hamstring injuries and all it took was one kick-boxing class a year ago and poof! My life changed for the worse. I've spent more time with my physiotherapist than with my own family these past 12 months.

Last Saturday, I tuned up my bike and went for a 4 km bike ride. I felt fine. Nothing hurt outside of pain I am used to feeling. Last night I went for a 9 km bike ride. I felt fine. Nothing hurt... until this morning. My IT band grabbed its fucking mariachi maracas and quickly reminded me it was fiesta time. Hey?! Remember me?! ¡Arriba, arriba! ¡Ándale, ándale!

Fuck.

I currently weigh 279 pounds. I was hovering around 284 in March. At the beginning of April, I had a pow wow with my dietitian and we developed a strategy where I would consume 1200 calories a day to kickstart weight loss. My body loves to be big. My metabolism is non-existent. I don't burn much. She and I discussed how obese people remain obese because the body actually becomes conditioned to being obese. She pointed to a study about contestants from a TV show called The Biggest Loser. It's a heartbreaking read.

I'm determined to be physically active. Despite all the pain, I remain committed to walking 1.8 km every morning to a bus stop where I can take a bus directly to Oshawa GO that puts me on the 7:03 am GO train. I just punch through it. It's been tempting to take a different route where I don't have to walk beyond the corner of my street, but it means taking a later train, which means leaving the office later... so it's a no from me. I've considered buying a car. The thought comes and goes. It would make life a lot easier but it's an expense I've become very accustomed to not having.

I will figure out how to deal with the IT band issue. Stretching will help. The concern now is the struggle to stay in one clothing size and remain there. I don't need to be skinny. I gave up on that years ago. I just don't want diabetes, high cholesterol, heart problems, breathing problems and whatever else being obese can bring. I've had osteoarthritis since my early 20s. It was always manageable, but it's definitely progressed in the past two years and primarily due to the stress and strain of the injuries and conditions.

The depression has been the hardest part of this. I'm not medicated. I find ways to cope. I fight the feeling of just giving up, quitting work and filing for disability. On weekends, I won't get out of bed until well after noon. I look forward to when it's time to go home each day so I can have dinner and just retreat to my bedroom. I'm no longer in physiotherapy, but I do force myself to perform stretching and strengthening exercises for 10-15 minutes in the morning and again just before bed. Some nights I just cry. Then I get mad at myself and remind myself of how good my life is, that I'm not dying and it could be so much worse. But boy, what I would give to just be able to climb a ladder again without feeling like I'm about to fall, or just being able to run down stairs - just for the hell of it. What I miss most, tho, is dancing.

Anyway, enough feeling sorry myself. I just wanted to put out an update for those who have read this website for years so I could share my woe. Thanks for reading.

Health update

There's a country song here somewhere. But seriously, who doesn't like #cycling fresh asphalt? pic.twitter.com/v9B4Dg6f9A

— CJ Smith (@ThisCrazyTrain) June 23, 2015

It's been a while since I've mentioned where I'm at with my struggle to be healthy and fit. In October I had a setback when I fell down the stairs of a Double Decker GO bus when the driver accelerated to leave the bus stop as I was making my way down to exit. I slammed my right knee into the fiberglass wall and hobbled off the bus after exchanging angry words with the driver. He admitted he didn't look at his monitors to see if anyone was exiting from the upper deck. A week later, I went to put on my shoes at my sister's house after Thanksgiving dinner and my knee screamed, I screamed, and just like that - BURSITIS.

What an absolutely awful condition. There have been days when I could not walk. Days when I cried just from going down a few steps. Days when I could barely get out of my office chair after sitting for an hour. Nights where I couldn't sleep because of the pulling and swelling sensation. Days of sobbing and feeling sorry for myself because I lost my stability, had trouble with balance, and was stuck with limited mobility and range of motion. It's taken close to 40 physiotherapy sessions, a dozen acupuncture treatments and months of stationary cycling to get where I am today - walking, standing, climbing stairs, descending stairs and being able to bend the knee and put full weight on my right leg. I'm not out of the woods yet as my knee is out of alignment after months of a poor gait, and I am experiencing hip pain and joint pain that I am told should eventually subside. I've also been warned that surgery may be necessary.

You know that saying, a body in motion stays in motion? There was no motion so my body became a body at rest, and even though I restricted my caloric intake to 1800 calories a day, the scale moved up and before I knew it, I gained 20 pounds between November and May. I blame the weight gain to reintroducing bad foods into my diet - sugar being the main culprit. This month, after turning 41 on the 14th, I literally slapped myself in the face. Self-pity isn't my style but it's easy to be swallowed up by it. My lowest recorded weight in the past three years was 238. My highest weight (2010) was 328 (rough estimate). I am now 260 -- so no where near the shit show of 328, but far away from the best weight of 238.

I'm back to cycling since long-distance walking is still off the table. And I mean hardcore cycling, with hills and steep inclines that stretch for two kilometers or more. Living in east Courtice, surrounded by long stretches of country roads, I can cycle for 15 to 20 kilometers and burn 1000 calories in an hour. Of course, some of these roads are narrow and with no shoulders, just deep ditches, it can be nerve-wracking when drivers act like douchebags. I am not an aggressive or entitled cyclist. I am a "share the road" cyclist. I am a"stop at the stop sign" cyclist. I am a "helmet always on" cyclist. I am a "always uses hand signals" cyclist. I am a "wears a light when it's dusk" cyclist. I am the type of cyclist that motorcyclists will go out of their way to stop me and tell me they appreciate I follow the rules of the road. I don't do it because I'm a nice person. I cycle the way I do because it's the right thing to do, and in some cases, the law. It's a shame that law-abiding cyclists have to be thanked for being law-abiding.

As it stands, I think I am back on track. No more sugar. Lots of cycling. And more weight training. I've been told when it comes to cardio, your body eventually becomes efficient of whatever exercise you undertake and you have to "switch it up". For me, that means more challenging bikes rides and lifting weights in my ghetto home gym.

Wish me luck!

I think it's time for an update on the personal front

Back in February, I hit a number on the scale I hadn't seen since the year before my daughter was born. Embarrassingly, that would be 10 years ago this month.

What's frustrating is that I have not been able to move past 238 pounds. The scale goes up to 240 some days but will eventually slide back down and stay at 238. I even bought new batteries for that stupid scale. Still 238.

I routinely walk nearly 25 km a week but no longer walk 2 hours/11 km four times weekly in addition to daily walking.  My body has become very efficient at walking and walking as exercise no longer yields results.

I lost 80 pounds from walking and changing my lifestyle (I gave up a car) and eating habits (I quit sugar). As much as I love the results (I went from a size 26w to an 18w) I dislike what I need to do to keep the weight off and from coming back. It's the food. I miss, absolutely miss, sugar. I miss buffet style eating (I haven't been to Mandarin in over 2 years) I realize now I'm in mourning. And it's this food grief that is causing me to think it's okay to add a slice of very berry coffee cake (380 calories - all of them bad) with my morning Starbucks coffee.

I am tired of eating 90 grams of protein a day and the calculation and cost of achieving that number. Eating protein with every meal has proven to keep cravings away and keep the weight off but I am tired of tuna, eggs, chicken and protein bars. I have eaten every brand of protein bar out there. If you're just starting out on your own weight loss journey, I highly recommend the Detour bars sold at Costco but I'm sick of them. Fish is expensive. Although I can afford to eat it three times a week, my daughter has decided fish for dinner has got to stop. Especially white fish. She has quit on me. Her father isn't too far behind.

A few months ago I reintroduced red meat back into our diets. As my husband grilled three strip loin steaks I had marinated in a butter and garlic roux, my daughter stood at the screen door leading to the back deck, inhaling deeply, and professing her love for all things beef.  I'm pretty sure I saw a tear escape from my husband's eye as he turned the steaks to sear the other side.

It's been a rough 35 months for everyone in the Smith household.

Because of my husband's type 2 diabetes, sugar remains permanently banned from the home. I have perfected baking with Splenda and Stevia so it's not needed, but you can't make everything with artificial sweeteners (custard will give you the middle finger) and cakes just don't taste the same.  Don't get me started on ice cream.

So in an effort to shake shit up, I've taken up road cycling.  Living out in rural Clarington has its benefits with this sport as I have kilometers and kilometers of country roads at my disposal.  In my first go, I racked up 22 kilometers in an hour and 33 minutes.  I was very pleased with myself. I am now up to 28 km in two hours with 12 km of that being uphill, which slows me down, but raises the heart rate right into a prime fat burning zone.

The exercise isn't an issue, it's the diet. Because of this food exhaustion and boredom, I'm sliding back into bad habits and it's scary because I can't seem to control it. It's like putting a finger in the hole of a wall of a dam where you know eventually that hole will grow bigger and the dam will break.

I'm at a loss. I have no idea what to do here.

238 and it feels great!

It's taken all of December, January and February to early March to lose 10 more pounds. I'm now at 238 lbs. I had been hoping for 235 lbs by March 14 but a month-long bout of illness in February really put a wrench in the exercise routine.

For those who haven't been following along with my quest to be car-free and weigh less, some background info about this weight loss journey and a before photo can be found here.

72-pound weight loss photostream

(Note, this post has been edited since it's first publication earlier this morning to address a  few emails.)

I have photos that fit between 318 pounds and 268 pounds but they are not full body shots.

I regret that.

It was only in July when I realized I should pick a location and begin to document the loss using the same backdrop.

For those who have been following along, my journey to find the old me has resulted in me taking up long-distance walking several times a week. I never imagined walking 10 kilometres in less than two hours, five times a week, in addition to the daily 5 kilometres I cover over my lunch hour, would become my life. But it has ... and it's amazing.

I've changed my diet. I've changed my outlook on life. I've fixed my relationship with food.

I set no goals. I have no expectations. I only look at how far I've come.

72 pounds.

Right click and open the image in a new tab for the full screen view where you can click on the image again to magnify it.

For those who have asked, I record the distance I walk (and calories burned) using a GPS-based mobile app called Map My Walk. I use MyNetDiary to record food.

These two apps, along with establishing a routine, have been instrumental in contributing to my success. Coupled with the routine, this has been what is working for me.

I've been asked several times how many calories I eat daily and to discuss what I eat. I'm not a nutritionist. However, I cut out sugar, saturated fats, full-fat dairy and reduced my sodium intake. I added more protein and fibre. I omitted all fast food. I added more vegetables and don't eat anything, other than whole grain crackers, out of a box. I adapted my diet to match what my husband has to eat in order to manage his Type-2 diabetes. What I eat and don't eat may not work for you. Please discuss with your doctor.

As for calories, I am at a point where I burn what I eat plus 600-900 calories more. I consume a 30% carb / 50% protein / 20% fat ratio of food. I eat anywhere from 1500 to 1800 calories a day. It's not that I'm reluctant to share, as this isn't a secret, but there is a method to the madness and again, a qualified nutritionist can help you get there.

The most challenging sacrifice was sugar. THAT STUFF IS IN EVERYTHING. Because I am not a diabetic, I can occasionally treat myself and I managed to get to a point where I can do this without guilt. This is a HUGE accomplishment. I combat any potential guilt with exercise. For example, on the weekend, I wanted to enjoy some Menchie's frozen yogurt with one nanaimo bar as a topping. So, I walked five kilometres for frozen yogurt. Yes, I train to eat.

I enjoyed every single bite of that roughly 1-cup serving of red velvet cake-flavored yogurt. That night, I slept like a bear.

Impulse-eating and binge-eating were my worst demons. It's taken two years to correct several years of these two bad habits coupled with poor food choices.

You have to ask yourself what your downfall is. Mine wasn't just bad food and too much of it, I was also lazy. Getting rid of my own vehicle was the first step I made in this journey.

Everybody has their own reasons for how they became overwight. Once you address what caused you to put on the additional weight, you can work on correcting those bad habits by making small changes.

You can do it!

63.6 pounds later...

(Scroll down for before and after photos)

For those of you who have just joined reading this site, occasionally I post about the commitment I made in December of 2011 to change my lifestyle and get my weight under control after topping out the scales at 318 pounds.

The first step was to ditch my SUV. The lease was up on January 4th, 2012 and I decided not to exercise the purchase price or buy another car. Instead, I would take the GO bus to and home from the train station.

I gave the vehicle back at the end of 2011. At first, it was more of a financial decision, but then I realized how it would force me to be more active (and visit less drive-thrus) and I realized this would benefit more than my pocketbook.

I bought a bicycle and a bike trailer and for the spring and summer of 2012, I biked my daughter to daycare every morning and rode back home to change in time to catch the bus.

I won't bore the regular readers with all the details but if you want to catch up, you can read the last update here.

The last time I recorded my weight was September 24. I weighed 259.5. Today I weigh 254.4

63.6 pounds. Gone. That's the total from 318 pounds to today.

My biggest inspiration for coming this far is my husband who was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in late 2010 and had to completely change the way he ate. Second is my friend Sandra who made a commitment in early 2012 to combat her weight problem (and won the battle). Third is my co-worker Kolette, who is a fitness addict and probably my biggest cheerleader and now, is my personal trainer.

Kolette, along with another co-worker, got me into long-distance walking during our lunch hour. Right now, we're up to 6.22 km in a little over an hour. I burn 690 -780 calories during these walks. My total daily kilometres for walking stands at 8.72 kilometres. I burn 900 calories a day and eat anywhere from 1622 to 1790 calories a day.

This is our walk report from yesterday:

Amazeballs, right?

Recently a co-worker asked why I thought I've been so successful this time around with combating my obesity.

One word - support.

In the past, I never had anyone in my life willing to join me in making a wholesale change. Dieting is often done as a solitary initiative with everyone around you still enjoying food and life in excess, while you sit in the background watching the cake go in and feeling miserable.

My husband was my food buddy. Neither of us could demonstrate restraint. We drove to Dairy Queen for each other. I never said no to him. He didn't dare say no to me. All that's changed. We've changed. We're so much better for it. I'm not saying it should have taken the diabetes diagnosis to make us both smarten up, but it was a huge reality check.

Watching the success Sandra had with making her wholesale change, and the fact that she struggles with the same demons I do, made me determined to make this work. She and I can relate on many levels and this is helpful psychologically. I don't have to explain to her why I want to eat a banquet burger, AND RIGHT NOW. She knows why and we talk each other through it.

Kolette kicks my ass. And this is important. We all need that one person who will tell you to can the bullshit excuses and remind you that if you don't walk, you're not disappointing that person, you're disappointing yourself.

But I can say that giving up the car made the biggest difference. The impulse to seek out food and indulge is kiboshed by the fact that you don't have a means to satisfy the need. I can't ask the GO bus driver to stop at Harvey's while I walk in and grab a burger.

Changing my entire diet also made a tremendous impact. I do not eat fast food. I don't consume sugar. I do not eat anywhere near the amount of pre-packaged food that I used to eat and I cut down on my saturated fats. I eat more protein, less dairy and healthy carbs.

Most importantly, I got through Halloween. I didn't burn my daughter's Halloween candy and I haven't broken down and gorged on bite-size chocolate bars.

But it's not all good times. I have bad days. Days where I crave salt and chicken wings, and poutine, and pepperoni pizza with anchovies. I don't give in but I struggle. What gets me through these days is I go back and look at a picture of myself at 318 pounds. It's very sobering.

I am not going back to this.

It's very hard to share this photo as it strips me bare but I am telling you, if you are battling your own obesity problem, you need to create a support system for yourself. If you can't find it in family, you will find it in friends, co-workers, healthcare professionals and even strangers.

I know it seems impossible but it's not.

You can do it.

UPDATE
Here is a photo of me taken on September 27, 2013:

This health update is brought to you by ...

I had one of these "kits" when I was 10. My best friend Cathy had a baton.

She had I would get together on my front lawn and pretend we were Olympic 'ribbonists' and 'twirlers'. Then one day, she made me mad, so I shoved her baton between the grills of the sewer grate in front of my house and watched it fall into the storm water below.

She didn't talk to me for three days after that. I honestly can't remember what she did that made me so angry. I see her next month for a lunch date. I should ask.

Monday, I stood on the scale and 277.2 flashed back at me. Now hang on, don't gasp. I used to weigh 318. Okay, now you can gasp.

Go on. It's okay.

Oh, and the trolls can make all the fat jokes they want, I pay it no mind.

It takes a lot of courage to tell a bunch of strangers about your diet journey. For many people, it's a personal matter. I'm more open. Although it's not easy to tell people how much you used to weigh.

The last recorded weight for me at the doctor's office was 318 on August 18, 2011.

But I don't focus on numbers. I've been on this journey way too many times and have travelled up and down the scale that I've learned to not let the scale be my Lord and Saviour.

So, that's where I am at right now. Still car-less (which is why the weight is dropping off), still sugar-less (my husband was diagnosed with diabetes, a condition he inherited in December 2010) and walking 25 kilometres a week (not by choice, the kid has to get to the sitter's and I need to catch a bus). I eat between 1200 and 1800 calories a day, try to maintain a 40-50% carb to 25-35% protein to 20-30% fat ratio and consume less than 25 grams of sugar daily ( <- br="" challenging="" everything="" in="" is="" it="" seems="" sugar="" this="">
I'm not an emotional eater. I don't blame genetics, or my parents, or stress, or television, or fast food, or my sedentary career (even though these are factors, they're not excuses). I'm an impulsive eater. I get something in my head and I need to eat it. Before my husband was forced to make the lifestyle changes he's made, we were each other's own worst enemies. We were food buddies. We ate our way across Canada together, I like to say. But all good things come to an end.

I'm always afraid I'm going to jinx myself if I write about my weight loss and it's a fear I need to overcome. The only person who can jinx this success is myself.

One of the tools I've been finding helpful, coupled with forced exercise, is this app I downloaded called MyNetDiary. My husband finds it sucks on the iPhone but it works great on my Samsung.

What I really want to get my hands on is a FitBit. A woman I know via Facebook credits her 150+ weight loss to using the program (along with a rigorous exercise regime that puts my walking to shame). I find there's value in feeling in control of what you put in your mouth.

I'll update again in a few months.