It's Friday. I leave you with this, an animated short from Taiwan about the woes of Toronto's Rob Ford

It's Friday. I leave you with this, an animated short from Taiwan about the woes of Toronto's Rob Ford

Meanwhile, on a bus in Johnstown, Pennsylvania

Meanwhile, on a bus in Johnstown, Pennsylvania

Oh my GAWD! Vanessa can't believe she wasn't on the list!!!

Last night I took the 5:10 pm LSE home. For the entire train ride, no matter how loud I turned up the volume for my episode of Mad Men, I could hear this girl an entire quad away yelling into her iPhone about her sister's shower invitations and some girl who was mad she wasn't on the list.

In fact, the whole train heard her.

The woman beside me who was working on a crossword obviously had difficulty concentrating because it took her 20 minutes to write down the answer to one clue. Eventually she put her paper away and glared at iPhone girl for the rest of the train ride. I loudly asked her if she was upset that she wasn't on the list. This garnished a few chuckles from the people around us.

In the span of ten minutes, the woman conducting the call said, "Like" 39 times and asked, "You know what I mean?" nearly 100 times. Coming in third place, "I know, right?" was said a dozen times. The repetition of these statements throughout her phone call was more annoying than the projection of her voice. We were all told five times how angry Vanessa was about not being invited and how many times the woman on the phone had texted her an apology.

This girl talked for approximately for 49 minutes and even through Death Valley (the stretch between Scarborough and Pickering) she never lost her call. I am always amazed when this happens. I'm on a LTE network and still can't access the internet steadily through this stretch.

Must be Murphy's Law or something.

Oh my GAWD! Vanessa can't believe she wasn't on the list!!!

Since we seem to skip Spring in the GTA and head right into Summer, let us mourn this man and his summer fashion crime

However, in his defense, he could be breaking those puppies in.

Source: davenandes

Since we seem to skip Spring in the GTA and head right into Summer, let us mourn this man and his summer fashion crime

Look at those faces, so full of hope. There's no post game photo. Can you blame them?

Source: calizamatilda

Look at those faces, so full of hope. There's no post game photo. Can you blame them?

Proof that society is headed down the toilet

Source: briemcg_

Toke all you want, I don't care, but you're a degenerate for doing it on a public train.

Proof that society is headed down the toilet

GO adds free wi-fi to more GO stations and adds 60 parking spaces at Oshawa GO Station

Ahhh, hear that? That's the sound of hard-earned tax dollars being spent. Just kidding.

You bitched and GO listened because starting tomorrow morning, those who drive to the Oshawa GO station will have 60 extra parking spaces to park like donkeys in. 

Also, IMA Outdoor, in partnership with Metrolinx, is now providing wi-fi at the following stations:

• Ajax GO Station
• Appleby GO Station
• Aurora GO Station
• Bramalea GO Station
• Clarkson GO Station
• Cooksville GO Station
• Finch GO Terminal

• Mount Joy GO Station
• Pickering GO Station
• Richmond Hill GO Station
• Square One GO Terminal
• Union Station Bus Terminal
• Yorkdale GO Terminal

From GO's website: "Customers at these stations will need to select “IMA Wifi at GO” from the network options, and read and accept the terms and conditions before browsing the internet or checking email. There will also be a short advertisement on the screen from one of the sponsoring advertising partners. This advertisement makes it possible to deliver WiFi to customers for free."

I'm still waiting on bar car service on Friday nights... 

GO adds free wi-fi to more GO stations and adds 60 parking spaces at Oshawa GO Station

My Mother's Day present - a new deck

In the townhome I live in, I back onto conservation green space. Basically, I share a backyard with not only nature, but all of my neighbours, too. The only thing private that we have is a 10-foot by 20-foot terrace attached to the back of our home. I never sat out there. The entire deck and fence boards were weathered, rotten and covered in moss. The previous owner never maintained the wood, originally cedar, and it became an eyesore. It had to come down.

My husband and I procrastinated about the work, flipping back and forth between doing it ourselves and paying someone to do it. My husband decided to bite the bullet and do it himself. He's never done decking before so he asked a co-worker with a construction background to help, and over the course of 10 hours on Saturday, they managed to replace the entire terrace.

Best Mother's Day gift, yet! Bring on the piña coladas!

And for the troll who always likes to ask, "What does this have to do with riding GO Transit?" Absolutely nothing, but I can see my deck from the GO bus stop.

My Mother's Day present - a new deck

Why you shouldn't hold the doors

Can't see the video? Click here

Why you shouldn't hold the doors

Trolling Twitter is something I should do more often

Saturday afternoon I drove into Whitby to grab some Indian take-away for dinner at my parents' in Toronto only to arrive and have my mother AWOL after a shopping trip in Scarborough.

My dad, who is a meat and potatoes kind of guy, moaned and complained about the selection of butter chicken, aloo gobi, rice, samosa, raita, naan and onion bhaji only to then proceed to inhale an entire plateful of the food. TOLD YOU IT WAS DELICIOUS!!! 

While I waited over two hours for my mother to come home and eat her advance Mother's Day feast, I decided to troll Twitter updates and came across a few gems. This one stood out for me:

1. jamila ⚓ ‏@jamilamilamila10 May

   20 bucks worth of Go Transit tickets tonight and the bastards didn't even come around and check! #waste

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CJ Smith ‏@ThisCrazyTrain11 May

@jamilamilamila I'm sorry but how is legally paying required fare a waste?@GOtransit works on a POP system. Would you prefer a nanny system?

Unfortunately, she didn't bite.

I also went after the a-holes who post photos of themselves on Instagram acting like donkeys on the trains such as the foot riders, the tokers, the smokers and other fare jumpers. Back on Twitter, I came across this:

1. Connor McGee ‏@_ConnorMcGee_10 May

   Some guy just got on the bus with a gas can... What? Doesnt that seem suspicious to anyone? #GoTransit

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CJ Smith‏@ThisCrazyTrain

@_ConnorMcGee_ A little.@Gotransit doesn't publicize its transit safety number but reports can be phoned in to 1-877-297-0642. Keep it handy

This resulted in a discussion with another Twitter user about how GO Transit makes no real effort to publicize its Transit Safety number.

Then we discovered this:

Sigh. I didn't realize that towed vehicles was a safety concern.

It sounds like it's time for a communications on public safety on GO Transit overhaul, doesn't it?

Trolling Twitter is something I should do more often

DRT Pulse and what it means for Highway 2 GO bus passengers (west of Oshawa)

Durham Regional Transit (DRT) will be running a rapid bus line along Highway 2 (Kingston Road) every seven and half minutes (which is awesome) between Oshawa and Scarborough during morning and evening rush hour. The soft launch for this pilot is at the end of June.

What's not awesome is that university and college students lose the use of their U-pass on any GO bus that services this route. GO Transit will no longer accept DRT passes and tickets on these buses, either. This makes sense, but still, people are upset, mostly the students because they feel the GO bus is faster, cleaner and more reliable (all true, but it's luxury transit, which is why I and others call it the 'green limo'). In summary, riding the luxury green limo will no longer be a subsidized option for some Highway 2 passengers.

However, give DRT Pulse a chance before you complain. GO doesn't offer buses anywhere on its routes that arrive every seven and a half minutes during rush hour. I can keep dreaming for that to happen!

Source 1 and Source 2

DRT Pulse and what it means for Highway 2 GO bus passengers (west of Oshawa)

What's behind the fence?! This!

Source: mattkdevine
New stairs being built between the Union Station GO Train terminal and the new second platform of the TTC subway station!

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Soon we will no longer feel like cattle being pushed towards gates!

What's behind the fence?! This!

GO Transit brings vomit comet service to Toronto's downtown

Like to party past the last GO train out of Union Station but are too broke to cab it back to Whitby, Oakville, Markham, Bradford or (insert name of station here)?

GO Transit has heard your drunken cries and now offers bus service after 2 am from the Union Station Bus Terminal for those who travel the Lakeshore West, Lakeshore East, Richmond Hill, Stouffville, Milton, Georgetown, King City/Toronto and Newmarket/Toronto routes.

Visit gotransit.com/schedules for more information.

I can only imagine the comedy gold I would experience should I ever have to take one of these buses to the Oshawa GO station at three in the morning.

GO Transit brings vomit comet service to Toronto's downtown

I spy with my little eye ...

Someone who is GUILTY. As charged.

Over the years (all three of them) I've received the odd emails and text messages from GO Transit patrons who stumble onto this site through whatever means (usually a Google search for methods to carry-out GO Transit fare evasion) and take it upon themselves to defend or justify their rude train behaviour. For these people to have discovered themselves, they would have had to browse my site for hours and wade through over 2,300 posts. This is why I never take the accusations seriously. I've watched Punk'd.

Last night I received a phone call, yes, a phone call, allegedly from this woman. 

I had just gotten home when my cell rang. It was a 416 number and since I have Toronto friends, I answered it. I was shirking off my purse when my ear was assaulted by a woman screaming through the receiver. I had to put the person on speaker so I could avoid further auditory abuse.

Girl was AN-GRY.

She was demanding my home address so she could send over her biker brother who apparently wrestles cows in farm fairs, or something like that, to talk to me about all the laws I broke by taking her picture and putting it up on the internet. She resented that I called her a dirty turnip, saying I must do this stuff to make myself feel better about being trailer trash, and said that I was sick in the head for setting her on fire (for real).

Oh dear.

I handed the phone to my cattorney, Georgie Greyskull, who sniffed at it and then promptly laid down on it. I could hear the woman continuing to yell while I inspected the grilled chicken Ceasar salad my hubby had made for dinner.

Eventually Georgie got up and wandered over to his food dish and had a snack. The woman continued to yell.

My daughter came downstairs and asked me if I could update an app on her iPod. All of a sudden there was silence from my phone. A few seconds later, a more calm sounding voice asked, "Hello".

"Hello," I replied, handing my daughter her iPod and sending her back upstairs. "Well," said the woman. "Are you going to delete my picture?"

I told her she needed to email me a link. She said she did. I flipped open the laptop we keep in the kitchen, just an old thing I use for recipes, signed in to my email and clicked on her link. Then I grabbed my phone from the floor in my front hall and carried it to the kitchen table.

"Interesting," I said, "So you don't feel you were doing anything that would be objectionable to other passengers?"

She tells me she was just riding the train and riding the train like "any person who paid to do does".

"So you bought three tickets?" I asked her.

"No," she said. "Why would I buy three f---ing tickets?"

"Because all of your stuff is spread across three seats," I reply, continuing to eat my dinner.

"So ..." she says, "First come, first serve."

"Excuse me," I say, putting down my fork. "That's exactly why your photo found its way onto my site and why I photoshopped flames on you. Your attitude stinks. You are a selfish, self-absorbed person who clearly doesn't have a lick of consideration for others or the fact that manners and courtesy mean something in society."

Expecting a profanity-laced response, I moved my phone closer to me on the table. Instead, she told me she would "see my ass in court" and hung up.

So I called her back and got her voicemail. I told her to have her lawyer email me and to execute legal action by Friday afternoon as my lawyer has an appointment to have all of his body hair shaved off on Saturday and will be spending all of next week licking every inch of his skin as he struggles to figure out what happened. He simply won't have time to handle her demands.

Of course, I always assume I'm being trolled and nothing is ever legit, but I follow through, people. I follow through like the boss that I am.

I spy with my little eye ...

Considering this guy rides the train like he's in his living room, that's the closest he'll ever get to an attractive woman

... Because manners are sexy. This guy is a tool.

Does he put his foot up on the kitchen wall of his nana's house when he comes over for Sunday dinner?

If my nana was still alive, she'd bust his kneecap with a rolling pin.

- Submitted by AM

Considering this guy rides the train like he's in his living room, that's the closest he'll ever get to an attractive woman

I got up and asked the lady on the stairs if she would like to sit and moved the back pack

The owner of said back pack looked at me with a deer in the headlights look when I handed him his luggage. He had his music blaring and had heard nothing. It happened too quickly for him to fully process what was happening but when the lady sat down in the seat, and he realized what I'd done, he slunk down and stared hard out the window.

Damn right.

My heart was racing, as it always does when I pull these moves, but eventually I manage to convince myself I did the right thing and calm the hell down.

I just can't tolerate this crap anymore. I know that it pains a lot of you to ask people to move their stuff but let me remind you again, you have to assert yourself. You can no longer assume people will demonstrate common courtesy. There is no common courtesy these days, only rare courtesy.

In my case, I pay $16.80 a day to get to and from work. I'm entitled to a seat and so are you. Douchepicks are not entitled to pull an "all your space belongs to me" move during morning or evening rush hour. Not on my watch.

I got up and asked the lady on the stairs if she would like to sit and moved the back pack