So what exactly happened on this bus ... ?

GO BUS STATUS:

WATERLOO/MISSISSAUGA GO BUS

The Square One GO Ter. 12:40 U of Waterloo 14:15 is delayed 20 minutes from Square One due to the bus required additional interior cleaning.

So what exactly happened on this bus ... ?

No dice using the PATH through the RBC building to Union station

Help! I'm stuck in the Starbucks and can't swim out (queue family of ducks swimming by ... )
 
Look! A waterfall!

Union Station is also shut down. GO service is running. Just avoid the TTC part.

Emails from peeps tell me the water smells and looks like sewage. What a mess! - Thanks to Jill and @alanamccarthy

The flood has generated some funny memes. Sharks!

Blog.to did a round-up.

No dice using the PATH through the RBC building to Union station

La Douche-rider

JL writes: 

LSE, rush hour - this morning. Sits down in oshawa, feet across the seat, occupying 2 seats and blocking the 3rd. Doesn't open his eyes once. For some reason no one came looking to sit here, I was more than prepared to move my butt over and offer my seat to them and knock his dirty wet feet to the ground.
Jackass.

La Douche-rider

Thanks to everyone who sent this in

Thanks to everyone who sent this in

Just sit on the jacket. Done.

- Submitted

---

Speaking of "move all the shit" and "all your space".
On this morning's GO Bus ride, this woman was seated behind the driver, herself positioned by the window, and the seat next to her was occupied by her backpack, jacket, roller blades and helmet.
THERE ARE STORAGE BINS ON GO BUSES.
As we head into Oshawa, some elderly passengers board and I figure she's gonna move her shit. Nope. Instead, these two elderly passengers make their way awkwardly to the middle of the bus. At the next stop, I decide I'm going to get up and say something and I begin to make my way to the front. The driver stops to pick up passengers and one of them is an older woman I see regularly who usually sits up front, so I was ready.
As she boards, I address the seat hog and ask her to store her belongings in the overhead bin to accommodate for those who like to sit up front. She turns to look behind her and tells me there are plenty of seats and makes no effort to move her things.
Everyone finds a seat and I decide whether I want to take this further. I don't. I go sit down.
The seats at the front aren't marked as courtesy seats. Those seats are actually a little further back but this woman was old enough to know better and really should have moved her shit. It's just common courtesy.

Just sit on the jacket. Done.

All-star foot rider

His shoe tells it like it is...

 - Submitted

All-star foot rider

Oh, Groupon. Surely you kid

Oh, Groupon. Surely you kid

Missed Connections

It's rare I get wrong number text messages.
This gem came in last week.
RT = Random Texter
CJ = Yours Truly
----------------------------------------------------------------

RT: Sooo I'm ready for that cookie now.

CJ: Cookie?

RT: Yeh. Sorry it's Jeannie. We met last week.

CJ: Ohhh Jeannie! Sorry hun. Is chocolate chip ok?

RT: I told you I liked almond. Silly.

CJ: My bad. Sorry. It's been a long day.

RT: Are u ok?

CJ: Yeah, I'll be all right. The cops think it was all a misunderstanding anyway. There shouldn't be any charges.

RT: The cops?! WTF? What happened?

CJ: I don't want you to judge me. It's probably best I don't tell.

RT: You can tell me. How can I judge if I don't know what happened.

CJ: Good point. Okay. Here goes. Just yesterday I was walking down the street when I saw this sweet old lady who reminded me of my nana drop something on the sidewalk and roll under a parked car. I strolled up as she was starting to kneel on the pavement and said I would help her. She asked me to get her pocket watch that belonged to her dead husband that he got in the war after leading a regiment of british soldiers to safety after they dive bombed into some farmers' field or somthing to that effect. You sure you want to hear this?

RT:  Of course?!!! Keep going!

CJ: So she's telling me this and I'm lying on the ground in my Armani suit and Boss loafers and trying to shimmy myself under this car. I realize I'm going to have to try to lie on the roadway in traffic and try to get it as it's too far near the driver-side wheel. So I get up and I turn to tell her that I have to go round to the other side to get it. She stands on the edge of the curb while I wait for traffic to clear. Out of nowhere this guy shows up and asks me if I need a hand and says he'll stand in the traffic lane to keep me safe. I get down on the ground and grab the watch and when I stand back up, the guy sucker punches me, snatches the watch and books it. The lady starts screaming about the watch and I go to run after him. We run across lawns, across a park with kids playing, we jump a fence. He jumps in a pool. I jump into the pool. I caught up with him while he was trying to unlock the gate of this backyard. He knees me in the stomach. I clap him in the ears. Then the next thing I know, the guy sticks his hands down the back of his pants, makes this face and then holds his hands up and tells me the watch is in his ass.

RT: What the hell...???

CJ: I know. Who does that? So I manage to bear hug him and move myself into a position to give him a sleeper hold and tell him to push it out. While all this is going on and I'm telling him to push it out of his ass and I'm practically kneeling over him, this guy comes out onto the back porch and starts making a scene and tells us to get off his property and to get a room and then marches back inside hollering he's calling the cops. I'm yelling at him to do it and that the guy I'm hugging is a thief.

RT: Oh my god. I can't believe this.....

CJ: I know, right?! Crazy. So the cops show up while I'm practically drowning the guy by repeatedly dunking his head in the pool so he'd cough out the watch and they arrest me and this asshole.

RT: Oh my god. I'm so sorry

CJ: Yeah. But the good thing is the lady got her watch back. I told the cops to at least have the decency not to tell her where it had been.

RT: Ew. Did they clean it?

CJ: I hope so

RT: Do you have to go to court?

CJ: No

RT: Did the old lady give you a reward?

CJ: We got married

RT: .......Sorry?!!!! What?!

CJ: Yeah. I wasn't sure how to tell you so I figured I'd give you the backstory first. We're just leaving city hall now.

RT: You married the old lady?

CJ: Yes. Don't be mad.Are you mad? Say no

RT: I don't know what to say. I know I just met you. I'm just a little wierded out.

CJ: I'd still like to buy you that cookie

RT: No, it's ok. I don't need it.

CJ: Can we still be friends?

RT: I don't know.I'm just a little confused...

CJ: Do you want me to text you a pic of my wedding?

RT: No, that's ok.

CJ: Are you sure?

RT: Yeh. Well, congratulations

CJ: Thanks! She's super. She likes it when I call her nana

RT: Um. TMI.... Thanks.... Bye.

Missed Connections

I'm not going anywhere!

There seems to be a misunderstanding.

For those who got lost, I'm not sure I can update the site everyday due to how time for me has changed (I have less of it). 

I am also behind on content and have to pick and choose through submissions as not everything I get is worthy of a 'crazy train ride' - this takes time, too.  Eventually I'll get caught up.  In the interim, if you show up here and read this message after wondering why things got so stale, here are some sites you can waste time on:
AwkwardTransit
imgur
abadcaseofthedates.com
clientsfromhell.net
PoorlyDressed

I'm not going anywhere!

That awkward moment when ...

... you realize you're not texting GO Transit.

Text message from 4168478XXXX (Random Person - RP)
to 19054427423 (Me - CJ)
May 27 2012 3:16 PM

RP: Do you know where specifically in Union Station I go to pick up something from Lost and Found?
CJ: You go to Lost and Found?
RP:  K, I know that but where is it
CJ:  Inside Union Station
RP:  Seriously?! WTF .......where in Union Station???
CJ:  Why don't you call them and ask?
RP:  Call the Lost and Found?
CJ:  Yes
RP:  What's the number?
CJ:  The hell I know? 
RP:  What?
RP:  You don't know the number?
CJ:  No.
RP:  How come you don't know the number?
CJ:  The same reason you don't ... I guess.
RP:  Who the hell is this?
CJ:  Cindy
RP:  Cindy who?
CJ:  Just Cindy
RP:  I want your full name. K? 
CJ:  Why?
RP:  So I can report you
CJ:  To who?
RP:  To your supervisor
CJ:  You mean my mom?
(long pause)
CJ:   Don't worry. The stupid feeling goes away in about a day or so

That awkward moment when ...

Grab a Kleenex, this news is gonna rival chopping onions

I've been thinking about this for some time.
It's time for us to consider some distance.

No, it's not you. It's me.

This is so hard to say so I'm just gonna say it ...

I just don't have time for you like I used to.
I realize I set it up that I was always available, by phone, web, tablet and well, this just made you spoiled, didn't it? I mean, we talked EVERYDAY (and the occasional weekend).
It's not that I don't love you like I used to. It's just that ... I may have loved you too much.

Wait, shh, no, there's no other blog. I swear, it's only you.

My life has changed. I've changed. And I have to figure out where you fit.

I've taken up cycling, as you know. I gave up a car and ride the bus now which has made my commute longer and by the time I get home ... well, I'm just tired.

In the mornings, I like to spend train time with my best friend.
No, stop. She's not the reason!
Don't be like that.
Hear me out. Here's what I was thinking.

How about we get together three days a week, okay?

Please stop crying. It's not forever ...

Grab a Kleenex, this news is gonna rival chopping onions

Awkward train situations

Some of the pranks pulled off in this video would probably result in me orchestrating a bag beat-down but since I wasn't the target, I can sit back and laugh at these shenanigans.

Some key parts to highlight:

0:44 Can you do that quietly?
1:03 The non-reaction of the woman near the window in the pink shirt
1:23 ROTFL!!! I've been close to being a target!
1:35 Woman in knit hat is on to them
2:16 Actually saw this once
2:37 Foot rider revenge
3:23 Balls! The balls!
4:51 Good sport

 

Awkward train situations