Thursday, June 28, 2012

Trespasser killed by VIA train, expect delays my LSE'rs

A person's decision to walk along train tracks proved fatal today after a VIA train struck a trespasser. Service between Union and Danforth is suspended. Some people never learn. Why take the risk?

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

So I'm sitting on the bus and suddenly ...

... this guy in the back, in the most amazing voice, starts singing a song that I knew, called Valerie, in perfect pitch with a guitar he had on board. I tried to record him with my BlackBerry but all you hear is bus. Anyhow, he did it better than Stevie Winwood. I was surprised to hear a 20-something cover it, because the song is old. 1987 y'all! I was 13.

When he finished, despite others being annoyed, I asked him why he was singing the song considering it was very 80s. He was practicing for his mother's memorial service, being held in an hour, in Oshawa. It was her favourite song.

Rouge Hill GO Station Disability Fail

- Submitted

Bus Driver, why you no help a brother out?

from: CB 
date: Tue, Jun 26, 2012 at 6:51 AM
subject: more presto fun

Hi CJ.

This morning a passenger was denied service on the Milton bus arriving at union station at 6am. The man has some balance on his presto card but not enough for a ride. He had some cash, but less than the minimum $5 that is required to load onto Presto. So even though he had enough funds to pay the full fare, he was not allowed to ride the bus. Unbelievable!

The driver offered to take him to the Go station, but what was he going to do there? There's no CSR at that time in the morning. Our previous driver, (name withheld), would have lent him the money, let him fix it downtown, anything but leave the poor guy stranded. He should have been allowed to use the e-purse plus cash to buy a one way fare. It is his money after all.

 I would have given him the $ myself if I'd had any. And of course once you have tapped on you can no longer access the e purse on your card so I couldn't have helped that way either.
CB did write a letter to GO transit about this incident - CJ

Not sure if legit or trolling drama

It's hard to tell sometimes if some of the email I get is legitimate or fake. I get emails from people claiming to be the bag riders and foot riders in photos, accusing me of invading their privacy, threatening to sue me for said invasion and then wish me a good day when closing their emails. Hilarious stuff.

Remember Scummy Dude from yesterday's post? I don't doubt that the GO commuting world is indeed small enough that chances are someone reading this site might know someone featured on the site, but this email seems a little too convenient. Maybe it's real but I've left the email address unmasked because I figure a free for all is in order - everyone deserves a crack at a reply! I have bad days and yes, my mother did have brain cancer and survived, but tragic life events and bad days don't grant any person the excuse or reason to be rude, disrespectful and ignorant.

Have fun!

from: Yolandi Wasser
date: Wed, Jun 27, 2012 at 12:07 AM
subject: scummy dude

the guy you called scummy dude happens tobe a friend of mine. wow you are so quick to judge!!! you never done anything rude or wrong in your flie? never had a bad day. never had your mom find out she has cancer. people have bad days. my firned is not a bad person and doesnt deserve to be crucified online on shome shitty ass wbesite where you talk shit about people you dont now. how do you know for sure he's not handicapped. does everyone who is handicapped look handicapped? no! so fuck you and take that shit off yoru site. way to go ahead and reck someone's repuation, stupid bitcjh. one day you will gets yours,.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Coming soon to a theatre near you ...


The Bitch
Scummy Dude
Random Passengers

and introducing...

Bus Driver as Bus Driver

in ...


(insert ominous, deep-voiced, movie trailer voice-over)

Sometimes in life ...
When the world seems out of control ...
You just have to take matters into your hands ...

(end of voice-over)

Scene 1:
Packed GO bus. Elderly man climbs on-board. Only seat available (AND ONE MARKED AS PRIORITY SEATING) is occupied by some Scummy Dude's backpack. Scummy Dude, who looks very able-bodied, sits reclined in the seat with earbuds in, music playing loudly and eyes closed. Passengers stream past without asking for him to move his backpack. Elderly man looks forlornly at seat and then reaches up to hold security bar while bus departs.

Scene 2:
The Bitch peeks up over the seat in front of her looking at the elderly man and then at Scummy Dude. She scowls. Bus makes a hard turn and elderly man is tossed to the side, grasping hard onto rail. The Bitch pulls out her earbuds and asks the man sitting next to her to get up so she can move into the aisle. Scummy Dude continues to rock out with his eyes closed.

Scene 3: 
The Bitch offers elderly man her seat. Her former seat mate slides over to the window and the elderly man sits and smiles gratefully.

Scene 4:
The Bitch stands next to Scummy Dude. The bus makes another hard turn and she leans her entire body weight into Scummy Dude. Scummy Dude looks up and glares. He rips his earbuds out of his ears and tells The Bitch to "watch her lard"  <- true story. The Bitch says she wouldn't have trouble keeping her balance if she HAD A SEAT and looks pointedly at Scummy Dude's backpack. Some passengers look nervously on hoping a full-scale fight doesn't transpire. Others look relieved someone decided to say something. A few people get off at the upcoming stop leaving seats available.

Scene 5:
The Bitch leans over and picks up Scummy Dude's backpack and hands it to him suggesting he put it in the overhead bin. Scummy Dude snatches his backpack and slams it down on the seat beside him and tells The Bitch "to get the fuck outta my face". The Bitch stares him down, heart hammering hard in her chest. Count to 10, she says in her head. A woman turns to speak to The Bitch. "Leave him alone and let us ride home in peace," she says. The Bitch looks at the woman incredulously. Scummy Dude is not entitled to his behaviour! The reason why Scummy Dude is Scummy Dude is because people like her let him get away with being Scummy Dude.

Scene 6:
Scummy Dude gets up and announces to the whole bus that "he's sick of this Fat Bitch and her bitching and that he's a paying customer and plans on calling GO transit to complain about harassment on the bus and that there's no rules sayin' he can't have his shit where he wants." He walks backwards, facing The Bitch as he approaches the front of the bus. "If I see you again." he threatens, "you'll be sorry". The Bitch ignores him. "Be quiet!" yells the Bus Driver to Scummy Dude. He stops the bus and opens the door. "Please get off the bus," Bus Driver says to Scummy Dude, who makes a dramatic exit, complete with giving The Bitch the finger and stomping off the bus. "Good riddance," says the elderly man, loudly.

Scene 7:
The Bitch looks at the woman who asked her to leave Scummy Dude alone. She looks away, scowling.

Scene 8:
The Bitch gets off at her stop, disappointed in society and her fellow passengers.


Monday, June 25, 2012

This Crazy Train's Presto Chronicles, Chapter 21: Time to put that transit usage report to the test

(insert sing-song voice) 

 Guess who got assessed?

I came home to this on Friday. 

To support the amount I claimed, I must provide:
- a monthly pass 
- the date or period for which the pass is valid
- the amount paid for the pass
- and the rider's name or unique identifier

My Presto card doesn't support the first three demands but does support the fourth request. The letter addresses this saying, "if the transit pass does not contain all of the information mentioned above, we need a copy of the pass along with original receipts, copies of cancelled cheques, or debit/credit card statements".

Really? Receipts I don't have. I will admit I didn't take caution in keeping them knowing I'd get a report but debit and credit card statements, I can provide. This will be a huge pain in the ass.

In fact, the letter doesn't even outline that the transit usage reports provided by Presto are required to prove the amount being claimed. 

There's a paragraph that reads, "to support passes for a period of less than a month, the pass must show it is valid for at least 5 consecutive days and the combination of one or more passes allow the unlimited use of the transit services for at least 20 days in a 28-day period", but on Presto's website under Tansit Usage Reports it says, "The Canada Revenue Agency has confirmed that they consider electronic public transit amounts eligible for the tax credit to be only those amounts which were paid to transit providers in any month(s) where 32 or more one-way trips were taken."

Anyone else been assessed and submitted a transit usage report and it was accepted? I'd like to hear from you.

Let's get this week started off on the right "foot", okay?

NO. And ...


Friday, June 22, 2012

God, can some of you just stop with this disgusting practice?

What is it with you rankity-ass people exposing your sweaty, bare feet on the train, putting them on seats, swinging them in the aisles and worst of all, MASSAGING them?!

What do you do with your hands afterwards? Do you eat? Shake hands. Spread your foot cooties around? Disgusting.

This lady last night wasn't only rubbing her feet, she cleaned out the spaces between her toes with her fingers. Some people seem to forget THIS IS SHARED SPACE.

Some of you don't have clean feet. Like this woman: Gross. It's just gross.

Every time I see a door donkey...

Thanks to @djmross for the GIF

Friday reading: the ongoing saga of the Oakville Smokers Club

from: MM
date: Thu, Jun 21, 2012 at 8:16 PM
subject: Oakville smoker update

Been off GO for a while - since the good weather started I've been mostly biking to work (8 to 12 klicks, depending on the route) or catching a lift in the morning with the wife and then rolling home on the bike, but the weather these last few days has forced me back onto the buses.

Today, as I was exiting the GO bus I spotted an old photo subject. The last time I saw him, about two months or so ago, he was dressed in some matching dayglo puffy basketball-uniform-hiphop-circus-is-in-town getup. I took some pics from the bus island of him sucking a sick-stick. He saw me and actually came out to the bus island to try to give me a hard time. I mostly just kept taking his pic as he continued to posture and swear and threaten me. Nothing much came of it. Wish I could find the pics. He was a sight.

So today I whip out th ecanon and take his pic again. He recognizes me (no flies on our boy! - apparently the oxygen deprivation/carbon monoxide poisoning has yet to have full effect). He starts in on the threats again, so I go right up to the side door of the station, open it, and ask him to speak up so the CSR's at the ticket booth can hear him. He stays outside.

So I go back out, and buddy has buttonholed a bus driver of my acquainatnce and is asking him to stop me from taking his pic.

Its for these moments I live.

Bus driver buddy points out that the sign says no smoking, and that I have a perfect right to take photos in a public place.

I took full advantage of the moment to hoot loudly as I walked away. So I'm a bad person.

So smoking buddy starts following me. Meh. So I've got a new friend.

Then, just around the corner I spot two more smokers. These two suave and debonaire men about town are ensconced on the bench right by the main doors and right under the apparently hard to decipher no-smoking pictogram. They can't read - blame the teachers, natch.

I am that kind of O-C type who can't stop when I've started. Hey - what's two more baggy-pants skank hounds after you, more or less?

These two misspelled tatts, relaxed-waistband and lowered crotch types do indeed take offence to the picture taking. So seemingly sensitive, except when it comes to other peoples' needs, the social niceties, and their own aroma of wet ashtray and dog hair...

Anyhoo - they too follow, with kind and loud and simian-like offers to renovate my camera and my face.

I get to the Oakville Number 1 Bus and climb aboard. The two belt-below-bums stop at the doors and make threatening noises, but I think they were intimidated by the fact that everyone at the front of the bus was staring at us.

The original clueless Bozo gets on and goes to the back of the bus. I blow him a kiss and smile.

He's still there - trying hard to look like he somehow gained from the encounter - when I get off.

The upshot? Rude and idiotic sociopathic smokers at Oakville station, like herpes, crabs, crabgrass, malaria and Conservative administrations, keep turning up despite the wonders of modern antibiotics, pesticides, and dawning common sense...

In a week or so I will have no need of GO for a whole two months, but come September I'm going to go back. I might even bring friends. Given the lack of enforcement by GO the crop of puffers should be really photo worthy by then...

Illiterate Oakville smokers.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

There's a reason why bikes are banned during rush hour and the CSA should have kicked the dude off

from: Rob 
date: Wed, Jun 20, 2012 at 7:16 AM
subject: Idiot Biker

Hi CJ,

So we're waiting on the Markham platform this morning which is small and not all the doors open. The CSA has to manually open the 2 west bound coaches.

We look at the door and there is a bike across it. People motion to the guy to move his bike. He gestures back to use another door. The door that DOESN'T OPEN!

CSA comes to open the door and he gets all pissy and moves the bike but the idiot now puts it across the other door to only move it again when the Milliken passengers board.

WTF is wrong with some people?


Someone who I think may have texted me before (9054427423) about legit GO train business sexted me by accident. Whoopsy.

From: 12893960XXX
To: 19054427423
June 19 2012 05:14 PM

Dirty time?

From: 19054427423
To: 12893960XXX
June 19 2012 05:38 PM


The exchange continues (without date/time headers) with my replies in italics-bold.

Time for a needs release LOL


I liked what we did last time....on the couch only you should face up.


Want to?

(This is where I clue in to what's going on and play along ... )
Sure! Should I wear thigh-highs?

Oh what are those?


You have those?!!

Yes. You can peel them off with your teeth

Whoah. Yes. Wow. Maybe I should text you like this more often! LOL

Yes, you should. Call your mom because I want her to watch me do bad things to you.

Uh, ew. No...why would you say that?

Say what?

That's not funny Debs

Debs? Who's Debs?

Don't play games. Way to kill the mood.


(I didn't get a response so I wrote... )
Ahh... look what happened, you accidentally molexted someone. PS. Dry clean your couch!

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Hot day on the TTC? Everyone deals with it differently


Keep your sweaty, stank foot in your shoe, k? This ain't your living room


Receives sweatband for Christmas, uses it as a blindfold on the train


Hello, this is dog

Submitted via Email (Anonymous)

This goes out to the two loud mouths on the 4:10 Union to Barrie train yesterday.  I do not care about what doggy day care you want for your dog.  I DON’T CARE.  You were loud and obnoxious and raised your voice and kept looking around everytime you did to see if anyone was paying attention to you.  I don’t need to hear you on the phone while you interview potential doggy walkers.  I DON’T CARE.  How I wish there was a dog on the train who would bite her right in the ass to shut up!  Omg.  I am up early as I take the train all the way to Barrie so I just wanted peace and quiet but after having to endure this for 45 minutes and realizing my MP3 was dead, there was no hope.  I was not going to move as I was in my comfy section.  Please, next time, just think before you open your mouth.  No one cares about how you feel about the potential people you were interviewing and how like, OMG, you could never take care of a baby because like, OMG you can’t take care of a dog like, OMG by yourself.  AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GO "Glee"

from: Shirker 
date: Wed, Jun 20, 2012 at 8:05 AM
subject: "GO Glee" on Canada Sings
I'm guessing you already know that some GO employees were on Canada Sings, but I just randomly saw it on TV last night.  I was all ready to be snarky, but some of them can actually sing.  I think they should record Conductor Jason singing each of the stop names and do away with the live announcements.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

A most hilarious train ride

So says the subject line of this email.
from: Ferris, Andy
to: "" 
date: Tue, Jun 19, 2012 at 5:40 PM
subject: most hilarious train ride i've ever had. ok 2 use my real name!
hi cj
you know those trolls who play games on their ipads, tablets and phones with the volume cranked and sans headphones??? had 1 tonight on my lse ride.
of all the games, he was ballin on angry birds. max volume. crowded train. no one says shit but everyone rolls eyes at each other, shake heads, sigh, shift annoyingly - all the bad ass you're pissing me off sign language that no one pays attention to, especially the object of said frustrations.
this bra be playing his birds and then all of a sudden, random as hell, some guy starts making  pac man sounds. so everytime there's an angry bird HI EN N N N NA NA NA, dude goes wacka wacka wacka and then does the sound of pac man dying. this went on for about 3 minutes until angry bird dude got uncomfortable and shut off his iphone.

Not sure what to christen him as? Broke ass, seat back rider? Wait, Brokeback Rider! Thanks Matt!


Just when you think ya heard them all, GO comes up with a new reason for 'why you late'!

From: GO Transit []
Sent: Tuesday, June 19, 2012 4:07 PM
Union 15:13 - Oshawa 16:14 Train - On The Move
The Union 15:13 - Oshawa 16:14 train trip departed Union 43 minutes late due to a passenger medical emergency, and a number of uncooperative passengers. This train will operate express to Pickering, then make all stops to Oshawa. Passengers detraining at stops from Union to Rouge Hill were accommodated on the Union 15:45 - Oshawa 16:46 train trip.

The hell does that EVEN MEAN?!
Did someone not step up and play doctor?

Yesterday's Union Station muckery

The hell, GO Transit?!
The hell?!!

Thanks for your service update text messages received this morning at 3am advising me of the mess I encountered at Union Station nine hours earlier. How is this "Keeping Me In the Know"?

When I showed up at Union at 5:10 pm, there was no indication on any of the leader boards there were delays, track changes and that 2,000 people were waiting on two platforms... People were walking on the tracks, crossing across tracks and standing on the tracks because of the congestion. The 4:25, 4:53, 5:10 and 5:20 trains were all delayed. When the 5:20 did roll in, not a single announcement was made on the train about why we were not moving. The only time passengers were told anything was when we crawled out of Danforth and were told we were moving at the pace of a kid on a big wheel because of train congestion in front of us.

At least GO had the wherewithal to hold the buses for those connecting at stations. But come on!

Where was GO personnel with placards and bullhorns advising people of the chaos and asking people to return to the Concourse level?

Why the lack of crowd management?

Why the lack of communication on trains?

Yes, I'm sending an email ... (not that anyone reads my emails. I'm sure there's a lot of eye-rolling when my emails come in).

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

I has a bat ... golf club ... fishing rod

Just swinging my belt. To some music. At the GO station.

You know this is crying out for some Photoshop.

How does one miss so many flags?

I've determined that at one time my cell # (905-442-7423) belonged to a woman named Sarah Sxxxx because I've gotten many a voicemail from doctors, dentists, schools, optometrists, wine clubs, the police (I know, the hell?) and the library, all looking for this woman.

And then I got a text message and of course, I had to play along ...

From: 16474639XXX
To: 19054427423
June 04 2012 11:56 AM

Hey how's it going.

From: 19054427423
To: From: 16474639XXX
June 04 2012 12:09 PM

Work is crazy busy. You?

From: From: 16474639XXX
To: 19054427423
June 04 2012 12:15 PM

Ya about the same one more night then holidays for me.

From: 19054427423
To: 16474639XXX
June 04 2012 12:16 PM

Not me man, I'm jelly. You know anything about flying planes? What's a flux-a type 79C button? Can you google it for me?

From: 16474639XXX
To: 19054427423
June 04 2012 12:36 PM

I know nothing about planes sorry.

From: 16474639XXX
To: 19054427423
June 04 2012 12:36 PM

Why do you need to know about that

From: 19054427423
To: 16474639XXX
June 04 2012 12:36 PM

I'm trying to fly one.

From: 16474639XXX
To: 19054427423
June 04 2012 12:40 PM

Nice ok

From: 16474639XXX
To: 19054427423
June 04 2012 12:40 PM


From: 16474639XXX
To: 19054427423
June 04 2012 12:49 PM

K so I google the 79C button n I can't find anything sorry

From: 19054427423
To: 16474639XXX
June 04 2012 03:23 PM

I pushed it anyway. It looks like it summons the on-flight bartender. Had to take a nap there. Got any plans tonight? Going out?

From: 16474639XXX
To: 19054427423
June 04 2012 03:47 PM

I'm working at 5

From: 19054427423
To: 16474639XXX
June 04 2012 03:48 PM

You mean you've been home all day?

From: 16474639XXX
To: 19054427423
June 04 2012 03:49 PM

Ya been home all day just finished packing n doing laundry.

From: 19054427423
To: 16474639XXX
June 04 2012 03:51 PM

Where you going on holiday? I know you've always talked about Costa Rica. Last time I went there, I spent hours trying to find a coffee maker and people kept telling me to go to the hardware store and I was like, NO! Coffee maker. As in a man I can buy and take home to make me coffee cuz I figure a Costa Rican ought to know a thing or two about making coffee. I'm big on things being authentic

From: 16474639XXX
To: 19054427423
June 04 2012 03:53 PM

I'm going on a road trip up north. Doing some fishing camping

From: 19054427423
To: 16474639XXX
June 04 2012 03:54 PM

Ugh. I hate camping. And fishing. What happened to Puerto Rico?

From: 16474639XXX
To: 19054427423
June 04 2012 04:08 PM

Not sure never wanted to go??? Lol

From: 19054427423
To: 16474639XXX
June 04 2012 04:09 PM

But you said you did. Many times. Mike, did you hit your head this weekend?

From: 16474639XXX
To: 19054427423
June 04 2012 04:10 PM

Mike what this isn't mike

From: 19054427423
To: 16474639XXX
June 04 2012 04:10 PM

Why do you have Mike's phone?

From: 16474639XXX
To: 19054427423
June 04 2012 04:10 PM

I don't who is this I thought this was Sarah

From: 19054427423
To: 16474639XXX
June 04 2012 04:11 PM

This is Cindy

From: 16474639XXX
To: 19054427423
June 04 2012 04:11 PM

Lol alright I'm not sure what's going on

From: 19054427423
To: 16474639XXX
June 04 2012 04:11 PM

Well this is awkward. Did Sarah fly a plane before because you know, red flags and all that

From: 16474639XXX
To: 19054427423
June 04 2012 04:12 PM

Lol ya thanks lol but I hadn't talk to her in almost a year

From: 19054427423
To: 16474639XXX
June 04 2012 04:12 PM

Well if you ever get to puerto rico and want company, let me know

From: 16474639XXX
To: 19054427423
June 04 2012 04:13 PM


From: 19054427423
To: 16474639XXX
June 04 2012 04:13 PM

She must have ditched her mobile. I've had this number since Feb 2011

From: 16474639XXX
To: 19054427423
June 04 2012 04:15 PM

Ok this is Courtney I switched my number a while ago n I have a feeling something may have messed up when they put my numbers in

From: 16474639XXX
To: 19054427423
June 04 2012 04:15 PM

This is weird

From: 16474639XXX
To: 19054427423
June 04 2012 04:15 PM

I'm sorry

From: 19054427423
To: 16474639XXX
June 04 2012 04:44 PM

See and I thought you were just someone yanking my chain because I have a blog where my number is online!

From: 19054427423
To: 16474639XXX
June 04 2012 04:44 PM

Hope you find her

From: 16474639XXX
To: 19054427423
June 04 2012 06:06 PM

No I'm sorry totally not I was trying to figure out if I actually knew you n put numbers in the wrong spot.

From: 16474639XXX
To: 19054427423
June 04 2012 06:18 PM

I've been laughing since you called me mike. Lol. Why btw did u think I was mike.

From: 19054427423
To: 16474639XXX
June 04 2012 06:42 PM

I didn't really know who it was. I was hoping to get a response.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

I like it when I make a believer outta people

Matt recently started taking the LSE route home and is in awe of what's he's read over the years on the website actually proving true. Why would I lie, folks? There's a reason why I christened the LSE the "crazy train".
Matt writes:
Its like being at the magical zoo with so many fabled creatures for me to see that I had previously only heard of. I just saw an All Your Space foot-rider.  20-something dude with his dufflebag on the seat across from him and his feet on the same seat.
Couldn't figure out how to take silent photos, and before I could even risk the audible one, my line of sight became obscured.
UPDATE: GOT A PIC and a foot rider came to join him!

An alarm for loudmouths you say?

From Iceman7525
One thing bothersome about the GO is the level of noise inside the cars caused by loud talkers; who cares what you had for breakfast or how happy you are - please keep it to a dull roar.
On the 4:15 Georgetown train there was a woman who talked almost non-stop to her friends in the quad; unfortunately her volume was turned up to overcome any ambient noise - the entire car heard about her father, friends, weekend, etc.  This goes on for almost half an hour.
Today she gets ready to get off at Bramalea like a lot of riders on this train, only she sets off the Emergency Alarm while standing up (clumsy, aren't we?).  When she realizes the entire car of passengers knows it's her she holds her hands up in the air, gives everyone a look like "Who, me?" and runs off the train.
One good thing:  once the alarm went off she SHUT UP immediately!  And with only a few minutes delay.
Maybe there should be a separate alarm for incessant, annoying noisy riders!

Friday, June 8, 2012

Bus/train pet peeve grows into rage

I'm not a fan of bottled water. I don't understand why anyone buys it or drinks it considering we have some of the freshest drinking water on the planet here in Canada and it's a closely monitored and very public industry. Your tap water is checked and tested more stringently than what's being bottled and sold for more than the price of a litre of gas. "Many people buy bottled water, believing that it is safer than tap water. In fact, the major difference between bottled water and municipal tap water is that we know less about what is in bottled water."

In fact, "municipal water is subject to frequent and detailed testing, and the source of the water is public. In most provinces, test results for municipal water are easily accessible to the public. Edmonton, for example, publishes daily, monthly and annual water quality reports, including details on dozens of parameters from bacteria to lead: . Most provincial water quality standards, such as Ontario’s Drinking Water Quality Standards regulation[2] under the Safe Drinking Water Act2002 (SDWA), set maximum limits for microbiological, chemical and radiological parameters for all drinking water in the province. But these rules don’t apply to bottled water". - Source

I opt for tap water whenever possible or I refill containers with tap water but I don't give my money freely to the bottled water industry.

My hatred for bottled water is quite strong and the rage grows when those who are finished with their liquid gold decide to squish and squeeze the bottles with their hands making all kinds of annoying popping sounds while I'm trying to read or concentrate on my poker game. 

God dammit. Will you stop? Last night on the bus this guy behind me pushed and crumpled his water bottle so many times that I stood up, looked over my seat and asked him if he'd like me to recycle it for him. He said no. Then in a lower voice I asked him to stop crushing it, commenting that it was annoying. 

He apologized and said he didn't realize he'd been doing it. 

It's worse than gum snapping. You are not ALONE on public transportation. You SHARE space. Be considerate!

Oh, and if you are one of those people who does shell out $1.25 or more for bottled water (you have every right to do so despite my feelings about it), please consider making a donation to an organization that is near and dear to my heart and visit

Check your Presto transactions summary. Mine stopped recording on Monday

Called Presto. These transaction tables are being re-configured and my account will re-set eventually. The tables will now show transactions starting with your first trip of the month as opposed to showing the last trip you took at the top of the list.

Because of the SNAFU with the transit usage reports not breaking down the usage in a format the CRA could use (but still accepted), I've been religiously downloading my reports for 2012 at each month end. Occasionally, I'll check every other day to make sure the Presto hamsters are alive and running and it looks like another epidemic has hit because Presto stopped recording my usage on Monday. Anyone else noticed a pause on their accounts? Drop me a comment/email. I plan on phoning Presto customer service - will keep you posted.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

The smell was heavenly, says Twitterian

Guy sits down across from   and slips his feet out of his shoes. 
Perhaps the shoes were new but the smell was old and stinky.

Stern school teacher

I updated my Blogger and Twitter profile pics over the weekend. 
Apparently I give good b*tch face according to my oldest friend, Julie, who suggested I pull out an old photo of me giving this face and use it on the internet.
My dad says I look like a stern school teacher. I can accept that. I can imagine a big ol' yardstick at my side, slapping it across the legs of foot riders. The worse are the rainy day foot riders. Like this douche, who, according to  on Twitter was "Talking at the top of his lungs AND feet on the seats after a rainy day on #gotrain".


"All your space" -> Needs more chainsaw

Kitchener line. Tuesday evening.
- Submitted


Or was it Tuesday? I honestly don't remember. I know it's Thursday but it feels like Friday because this has been a week from hell.

I was on a later express train, the 5:53pm. Seated opposite me was a guy with a laptop. He was seated facing east and near the window. It was sunny as hell and the glare was interfering with his ability to view his screen. He asked me, in a pleasant voice, if I wouldn't mind holding up a newspaper he had with him against the window to block out the sun. We were still in the city at this point.

"For free?" I asked.

He smiled and chuckled. "You don't have to ..." He trailed off. "I just figured ... "

"Pay me $50", I said, "And I'll throw the grapes in for free".

He smiled. I didn't.

"You know..." I said. "They have blinds on VIA trains".

He nodded... murmured... went back to typing on his laptop.

The hell? "I just figured..."? The hell?! What? He figured what? I got boobs so this makes me his Levolor b*tch?

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Two tickets, yet still crossing tracks

From Anonymous

Hi CJ,

Everyday on the 4:18pm Stouffville train there are these 4 (sometimes 5 woman) that get up and walk from the second car to the front one right after the train leaves Unionville so that they can be the first that get off at Markham Station (where they proceed to run across the tracks while the train gates are down, red lights going and bells tolling).

These door donkeys block the aisle and door everyday. Usually I just ignore them but last Thursday I was quite in awe when I saw them purposely block the door while this poor woman was stopped from getting off at Centennial. The 4 door donkeys just stood there with their hoofs firmly planted looking as if they did no wrong. One of them even giggled as if it was funny.

This poor lady, however, was not impressed and rather than yell at them, she calmly called her husband to tell him what happened. What was fantastic is that another lady saw what happened and immediately asked if she could give the woman a ride back to Centennial. The 4 donkeys pretended not to hear.

Today I overheard the donkeys complaining that one of their donkey friends received a SECOND ticket this month by the GO Transit police ($175 I think) for crossing the tracks while the gates where down. They know that the Transit police are at Markham and they still run across the road in front of the train. Not sure if anyone from GO reads this site but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE send your boys out at 5:00pm to Markham to catch these women (who run to the east side of the road). Please? It would make my week! 

Karma, baby. Karma

Saturday, June 2, 2012

So what exactly happened on this bus ... ?


The Square One GO Ter. 12:40 U of Waterloo 14:15 is delayed 20 minutes from Square One due to the bus required additional interior cleaning.

Friday, June 1, 2012

No dice using the PATH through the RBC building to Union station

Help! I'm stuck in the Starbucks and can't swim out (queue family of ducks swimming by ... )
Look! A waterfall!

Union Station is also shut down. GO service is running. Just avoid the TTC part.

Emails from peeps tell me the water smells and looks like sewage. What a mess! - Thanks to Jill and @alanamccarthy

The flood has generated some funny memes. Sharks!

La Douche-rider

JL writes: 

LSE, rush hour - this morning. Sits down in oshawa, feet across the seat, occupying 2 seats and blocking the 3rd. Doesn't open his eyes once. For some reason no one came looking to sit here, I was more than prepared to move my butt over and offer my seat to them and knock his dirty wet feet to the ground.