Thursday, December 10, 2009

Overheard snow tire conversation

"So I had to go over to my in-laws and use their garage to put snow tires on my wife's Jeep last night," says man to his friend.
"Did you put them on your car, too?" asks his friend.
"No," says the man, laughing.
"Real men don't need snow tires".

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Celine Dion

Dude in a suit across from me on the train is listening to Celine Dion at full volume. Is it disturbing that I recognize her music? Yes, yes it is. OMG, now he's swaying back and forth! Cue lighter ...

Monday, November 2, 2009


Can't stand it when people click their pens open and shut continuously on the train. Can I stab this lady in the hand with her pen or am I just having a bad day!?

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Lady Lumps

The lady on the train across from me needs to hide her lady lumps.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009


Her boobs were so big, it looked like she had a loveseat strapped to her chest!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

It ain't winter

Thinks all of you wearing fall jackets and winter coats on the train this morning are out of your goddamn minds. It's cooler, sure, but it ain't winter.

Friday, August 14, 2009


Dropped a fifty note and a dude hunted me down at Union Station to give it back to me! Wow!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009


On the ride home, a group of teens just outside of the Rouge Hill GO station threw a brick at the train as it sped by at a speed of 110 km/hr. The brick made contact with the window next to where I was sitting. The sound it made left my ear ringing and when I realized what had happened, I felt dizzy and sick because if it wasn't for the interior pane of glass to absorb the remaining force of the impact, I'd probably not be here right now or would have been seriously injured.

I no longer can make myself sit in a window seat and this incident has only further convinced me that we are becoming more of a society made up of people who are morally bankrupt.

Thursday, July 9, 2009


Holy moses! For the love of all things holy .... PLEASE WASH YOUR PITS! How can you not smell yourself?!

Tuesday, June 30, 2009


Considering I pay $260 a month to ride the Go Train, is it too much to ask for people to shut up in the morning?

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Joaquim Phoenix

I rode the GO train with Joaquin Phoenix tonight.

3-inch heels

The whole train has noticed I can't walk in three-inch heels and I'm now barefoot.

Friday, March 6, 2009


I'm going to sit in my redneck spa after a stupid GO train ride home.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Fisherman's Friend

I didn't mean to laugh out loud at the lady on the train who said no matter how hard she sucked on a fisherman's friend, her throat still hurt.

Monday, March 2, 2009


Just fell down all the steps from the top compartment to the bottom after this a-hole with a dead body stuffed in his knapsack knocked me off balance. I am unable to sit as my ass is frozen from pain and now I must stand the whole ride to Oshawa from Union.

Friday, February 27, 2009


Many of us ‘GO-riders’ choose to remain aliens in the world known as 'riding the GO train' and some, like me, fully embrace it. I love everything about it - the people who hog seats, the door blockers, the bag riders, the lapse-into-a-coma sleepers, the full-on volume iPod worshippers and the moms who call their kids every morning to remind them to eat breakfast and how much they love them.

I've also made many friends along the way who truly make my mornings. There's nothing better than starting my day with a good belly laugh.

Riding a daily commuter train is a subculture we immerse ourselves in five days a week and I love how we all make it work.

I used to be a die-hard Car Commuter but knowing what I know now, I wouldn't pick any other way to travel. I guess I'm just ‘crazy’ that way. Besides, it makes for great content. Lord knows you jokers give me plenty of material (and laughs).