Wednesday, February 29, 2012

The seats on the bus are brown, brown, brown ... brown, brown, brown ...

People are pigs.

- Submitted

Boot ridin'

- Submitted

No pants or Ally McBeal?

Girl made me cold just looking at her.

- Submitted

Manners. Y U NO HAVE?!

As the mother of a 6 year old, I can't even begin to describe the incredible responsibility it is to ensure you raise an obedient, caring and polite child who will hopefully grow into a polite and law-abiding adult.

Right now my daughter is going through this phase of grilling me about bad words. It's awful that she knows so many. She went through a period where she yelled "Dammit!" all the time.

Spongebob Squarepants not on? Dammit!

No hot dogs for dinner? Dammit!

Can't wear the winter boots Gramma bought me to bed? Dammit!

Anyhow, where to go with this? Oh yes. This morning. Of course there's a story!

I took the subway from Union. I got off at Queen (it was a morning where I just didn't feel like walking) and rode the escalator up to the northbound side. The "single" escalator up.

When I take an escalator, I don't use it like I would stairs. I remain standing in one spot and if it's wide enough, I stand to the right.

I'm almost at the top when this guy in a suit (old enough to be my dad) comes flying up behind me (because you could hear a train coming in) and says, "C'mon, come on, COME ON! Bitch! MOVE!" to me.

The hell?

I turned around and told him that an "Excuse me" and "Please" would suffice. In return he muttered something I couldn't make out AND ... AND ... as he ran for the train, which he had plenty of time to catch due to the volume of people waiting, yelled the "C-word" over his shoulder.

I want to say that I pulled off my bag and beat the crap out of him but I didn't because I really am not that kind of person as much I threaten I would do such a thing. I really shouldn't have allowed him to get away with disrespecting me like that seeing as I didn't do anything wrong.

I was super early for work. I could have followed him onto the train. I'm mad that I didn't ask him what his mother did wrong. He should be ashamed of himself.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Meanwhile, at the Burlington GO Station

Ronnie says when he walked across the lot yesterday morning, he spotted this:

The car was running.

As it turns out, because of the VIA situation, the person in this car used the car as a means to hold two other spots for friends who were driving to the station.

The owner was a little further down the aisle on the lookout for her friends. She explained all this to Ronnie when he told her to move her car.

These are the same people who hold seats on trains.

Monday, February 27, 2012

*This* ... Now this is how you launch a rail line

Cheerleaders! And waving 40-feet tall blow up thingeys and flags! People all going bat-shit crazy. In Japan.

Instead, this is what happens ...

"Ooh, look at the river!" In Canada.

Where's the cast from Sons of Anarchy driving in formation alongside the GO train on the highway?


Remember last week's smash and go at the Clarkson GO parking lot?

Here's an update:

LSW rider says, "Police came to my house and I gave my written statement, while the cop tried to make small talk with my husband and 3 month old son, all the while making himself cozy watching a movie on my couch. He then paid a visit to the brilliant driver and charged her with failure to remain/report. All the while she was claiming she called her mom to have her go back and leave a note (which she did not) as I happened to be on the same train as the owners of the smashed up cars and my note was the only one still remaining. To all bad drivers at Clarkson station, beware I'm watching you! Quick, someone sew me a cape..."


Has it been two years already?!


Yes it has.

Two years of crazy commuter nonsense.

Have a drink for me tonight, k? Even a warm glass of "shut the hell up" will do.

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Sunday, February 26, 2012

About Monday morning's commute and how the VIA train derailment affects GO train service

Media Update (As of 5:40 a.m. today):

GO Transit has been advised that we will now be able to operate our morning rush-hour Hamilton trains through the VIA Rail incident accident site on Mon. Feb. 27.

For Lakeshore West customers, trains will be unable to serve the Aldershot GO Station, but will originate and terminate at the Burlington GO Station due to the VIA train derailment east of Aldershot GO.

We will have a shuttle bus service to/from Burlington to connect with the train.

For Hamilton passengers, all trains scheduled to depart from Hamilton will originate at the Hamilton GO Centre, but will not serve the Aldershot GO Station. Passengers may experience delays of up to 10 minutes as a result of track speed reductions through the Aldershot area. Express Bus service is also available from Hamilton to Union. With the adjustment to train service on your line, passengers may also consider using Appleby as an alternative to Burlington and the option of making their own way to either Burlington or Appleby.

We anticipate to have busy trains tomorrow morning and encourage passengers if possible to consider other alternative travel options to work this morning.

Passengers on the Lakeshore West rail line can expect to see reduced service during the morning rush hour on Mon. Feb. 27.

GO Transit has four 12-car trains held at a layover facility in Hamilton, just west of the incident location. Because these trains will be unable to service the Lakeshore West line in the morning, passengers can expect their trains to be busier than normal.

GO Transit is doing its best to provide as much service as possible on the Lakeshore West line. Where possible, we encourage passengers to consider alternative travel options.

On Monday morning, all train service on the Lakeshore West line will originate and terminate at Burlington GO Station.

For passengers that normally take the train from Hamilton or Aldershot GO Stations, we will have shuttle bus service to/from Burlington GO Station that will connect with trains.

Passengers may also consider using Appleby GO Station as an alternative to Burlington GO Station.

Hamilton passengers are reminded that we have a regularly scheduled QEW Express Bus that operates from Hamilton GO Station to Union Station.

Additional GO Transit staff will be on hand at Hamilton, Aldershot, Burlington and Appleby GO Stations to assist.

We thank passengers for their patience as we work to get passengers on the Lakeshore West line to their destinations as quickly as possible.

We will continue to update our customers and the media through "On the GO" email and text message alerts and on the Service Updates section of our website,

Vanessa Thomas
Spokesperson - Media Relations Team Lead

VIA train derails in Burlington. Three VIA employees dead

How scary and how sad for the families of those injured and killed.

I often think about such a scenario with the GO trains and it's pretty frightening.
My thoughts are with these families at this difficult time.



Via Rail derailment: Train travel remains among safest - Toronto Star

Presented without comment

- Submitted (LSW)

The expression on the GO employee's face

- Submitted

And on one of the new subway cars too ...

- Submitted (TTC)

All your space ...

- Submitted (TTC)

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Speaking of bacon ...

Teddy sent this picture to me, in response to THIS POST.

He dared me to publish it.

Who you think you're talking to, bro?

Meanwhile, at the Clarkson GO station

*** UPDATE ***

from: LSW rider
to: ""
date: Wed, Feb 22, 2012 at 12:17 PM

This morning I was sitting in my car at Clarkson Go, because a once in a lifetime miracle happened and I was actually 15 minutes early for the train.

I'm sitting there, on the phone with my husband, and this woman decides she is going to try and park in a space that you could clearly see was too tight for even a motorcycle (she was driving a Mazda 6).

As she proceeds to park, she completely obliterates two cars on either side of the parking space (Nissan Rogue and a Mazda 3) taking out the back bumper, lights, side panels... At this point, she realizes that the car clearly won’t fit. So what does SHE decide to do? DRIVE AWAY AS IF NOTHING HAD EVEN HAPPENED!!!

I did my good deed for the day, even missing my train. I got her license plate and reported her to the police and Go Transit Security. There was at least a couple thousand dollars damage done between these two cars.

I wish I had thought to take a picture of this parking/driving donkey!

New game at the Pickering GO station! Rock, paper, glass ...

from: Doug R.
to: ""
date: Fri, Feb 17, 2012 at 5:30 PM
subject: Smash and dash Pickering GO lot Thursday night

Disaster has struck. My car had a rock thrown through the drivers window I found out when I arrived 9 pm last night. The inside was ransacked and they got nothing because I keep nothing of value in the car. I parked in the northwest section in the long row facing the train tracks under the light standard. Go figure in the open for everyone to see.

Here is the kicker. The parking lot security cameras were not functioning last night. Great for douche bag who threw the rock and ransacked my car but sucks for me. Yes the person who did this damage is a douchebag. I had that verified by an expert douchebag certifier. Who knew they exist. I added my opinion that he or she is a coward. And that person probably can't read so just lucky I did not catch him and camera was not working. So I am out at least $500 for my deductible.

Insurance deductibles, towing, body shop, police report, claim adjuster are all words I am dealing with today. Can you say screwed? Okay boys & girls let's use screwed in a sentence. I parked my car in a GO station lot in the open under a light pole and I am so screwed.

Pictures to follow on the weekend and more on this saga to follow.

Be warned their is a cowardly asshole on the loose in the Pickering GO Station parking lot. Don't think it took two to throw that rock unless it was the Olsen twins. So much for driving at last minute to whitney houston's funeral tomorrow RIP Ms Houston. I blame Bobbi Brown by the way. No $ for flight either much less flowers.

As promised some pictures from the body shop.

So now we know rock beats glass and makes a mess out of car. And I cleaned up all the paper and stuff that was thrown all around but left the glass.

Over $1,500 damage so far.

OLG has the new Rock Paper Scissors game and GO Parking lots offer Rock Paper Glass. There is your headline. And to top it all off the police report came back with “surveillance camera was not functioning on the Pickering parking lot that whole day.” Hhmmm inside job?!! But how come no other cars were reported and broken into and trashed?

Maybe I have been targeted by the Bell sister’s (remember Ding and Dong??) boyfriends. The perp if it was a he couldn’t run very fast from the scene of the crime cause his pants were probably down under his ass cheeks. He just waddled away like a coward. I have now armed myself with a Louisville slugger in my trunk and a mini slugger in my backpack if I catch the perp in the act he/she won’t be throwing any rocks for awhile.

Gotta laugh cause this kinda stuff could lead ya to a bottle and fast.

- GO Train Patriot off to go looking for cowardly asshole

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Help yourself doesn't mean grab 10 bags... and you probably shouldn't be eating them anyway...

Fellow commuters tell me that Old Dutch has a table set up in the lower level of Union, by the Bay St entrance, with small bags of chips laid out (Sour Cream and Onion flavour, according to Twitter folk).

People are being told to help themselves. Our good friend of the blog, Shirker, saw at least three people "help themselves" to about 10 bags each.

But why grab free bags at Union Station when you can also get them for free on the train?!

Photo credit: @GOTrainHate


Oh, now I get it

This morning on the GO bus, I caught bits and pieces of a conversation this guy was having on his BlackBerry in a very low voice with someone I suspect was his girlfriend.

Out of nowhere, he just blurts out, "I don't know why any guy would want to look like Chewbacca eating a hot dog."

All day. All damn day I had that in my head. Then all of a sudden, it dawned at me.

How swift are you? I thought I was pretty swift. Let me know in the comments.

$16.02 a day

I can sponsor 16 children through World Vision with just a day's fare.

This should put it into perspective why many of us bitch about the behaviour of other commuters.

Maybe you're not as financially conscious as me. Maybe you live with your mom and dad and don't have bills and a mortgage to pay outside of your GO transit fare.

But for many of us, we ride the system with the expectation of manners and courtesy.

So if it angered you off that I called you out on this website for being a door donkey, it's called a consequence.

Only the guilty ever feel the need to defend themselves.

Another foot rider bragging on Twitter

Gonna need more chainsaw.
Photo credit: @huntfrig

Last Friday ... 3:13 PM LSE

The Departure board said Platform 8. Check out Platform 7. Triple Ds! (Know your meme!)

Some of these Triple Ds couldn't wait for the train to empty before rushing onto the train. The whole point of having people wait on one platform is so that people arriving don't have to fight a crowd of people when they get off on the opposite platform.

Screw this "I get a seat before you" crap. Why it so hard for some people to play by the rules? And if you're going to be a Triple D, at least let people off the train first before you charge the doors.

- Submitted

From my site logs

Looks like someone's getting ready for tax time...

All your space ...

This woman used the seats around her and the space in the aisle to tackle some paperwork on an LSE rush hour train home (the front coaches are more roomy these days due to Ajax door restrictions).

Then she decided to rest the tip of her shoe on the seat in front of her. But it was okay that she did, because according to her, she's wearing her "work shoes" which are "clean".

Apparently she floated above the slushy wet floors at Union Station, drifted up the stairs and flew onto the train.

Dear Drunken Leafs Fans on the LSE

I've put up with a lot of nonsense from you clowns on the many rides home on the 10:13/11:13 pm trains.

Some of the more memorable and stupid moments:

1. The projectile vomiting into the stairwell of the #5 platform.
2. The drunken, leap-frogging over other seats... with passengers seated in them.
3. Attempting to walk on the ceiling of the GO train.
4. Urinating in the aisle (this resulted in the activation of the yellow strip by yours truly).
5. Passing out in front of the doors.
6. Singing loudly at the top one's lungs while drunk as all hell.
7. Trying to fart, in tune, to the song "Back in Black" by AC/DC.
8. Drunken fist fights and screaming into other passengers' faces for no reason.
9. Standing and straddling chairs in a quad while kicking at the window.
10. Lighting a joint and passing it around while young children (with grandparents) were present.

Many of these incidents occurred at a time when I was not equipped with a mobile device that recorded video, which is a shame because many of these shenanigans were worthy of public shaming on YouTube. Some of them were recorded but when played back, the audio quality was too poor to make out what was being said.

All of these incidents happened on trains where no transit safety officers were present. I have noticed that over the past year, GO has made it a point to beef up security during Leafs home games.

What these fans don't realize (not to be confused with the ones who do behave themselves) is how their behaviour affects those of us riding home after a long day at work. We don't care to bear witness to your obnoxiousness, nor do we feel you're entitled to act the way you do.

What often irritates me is when an older man, such as 65-plus, speaks up and addresses these idiots, asking them all to sit down and keep the peace. The disrespect would make my Baba roll over in her grave. The language. The attitude. Shameful. It really is.

The way some of you behave is not funny. It's just sad and pathetic. It's downright embarrassing when it's men and women from my generation.

I don't know what has caused some of these fans to act the way they do when on a public train. You can't blame alcohol because I drink to get "happy" and I've never behaved like any of these donkeys.

So what gives?

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Foot riders among us

Durham Region Transit bus quad
Photo credit: Wall Kitten
Guess what?! Get ready to high-five me, bitches!

So this morning, because I was in the mood, I got on the 4th coach from the back of the train at Oshawa and made my way upstairs. As I walked through the train to the last coach (for the hell of it) I saw five foot riders and announced real loudly that feet on the seats was strictly forbidden on this train and that my inspection would continue for the remainder of the ride.

I made sure to look all important-like.

I'd never seen people move so fast to look innocent. I think I'm going to make this part of my morning routine.

Someone make me a cape!

Monday, February 20, 2012

I never understood it either ...

Students coming home from college on reading week. I appreciate that students take a lot of stuff back with them. However, travelling during rush hour on a train that dumps people off at Clarkson, so that they can get onto an express train from Union, is pretty much the dumbest thing I've ever seen.
And on top of that, some nice stranger saved a seat for me with her bag!

- Submitted by A. Johns via email

Come on everybody! Let's do the conga

All illegally parked (despite spots being available)

Photo credit: AJ via email (Long Branch GO)

Meanwhile, at the Long Branch GO station

Despite available, and clearly marked, parking spots, these three stooges make their own spots.

Photo credit: AJ via email

For the love of God! Knees together people!

And just how high up is the waist of those pants?

Photo credit: DP via email

Hey Bob, whatcha' doin'... ? Oh ... oh dear. Right against the door, too

Stay classy, Bob.

Photo credit: @Sarah_Eh

Friday, February 17, 2012

LSE 3:13 to Oshawa. WWE Super-Douche

Sitting next to an asshole on the train. Packed train and I asked him to move his gym bag and faux WWE belt and he tried to ignore me, so I asked him again and he made a big production of moving his shit so I said, "Hey, I paid for a seat buddy."
So every now and then he gives me this side-eye stink-eye.
I'm gonna punch him if he looks at me again. I texted my husband and told him to ready the bail money.
Oh, and he keeps polishing his belt which he claims, after a guy asked him, he bought with money he'd been saving for a down payment on a house.

About that parking article in the Star

I swear, on a stack of Bibles, that I will post my reaction/comments/concerns.

Thank you so much to those who told me about it. I appreciate the help with driving content for the blog.

I've got more to post, some really good parking pics, all your space reading week luggage and a TTC winner. Maybe later... like over the weekend?

I've gotta focus on working for the weekend now ...

It was wet and sloppy yesterday. Didn't matter to this guy!

Photo credit: @smartkukkie

Yes! Get excited all you Googlers! Wi-fi (might be) coming to GO Transit

From The Toronto Star:
GO Transit is hoping to deliver wi-fi on its trains and buses within a year.

The regional commuter service has been talking to suppliers and hopes to put out a call for bids on the service in the coming months, GO president Gary McNeil said Thursday.

Wi-fi access is at the top of a wish-list of amenities identified in surveys of GO riders.

The hope is that a wireless provider would be willing to pay the cost of installing the service on GO's fleet and property.

People are pigs

Photo credit: @astandidge


So I write that I overheard people talking on the train about where to get a good burger and folks on Twitter think I'm blogging for money and accuse me of eavesdropping. Eavesdropping? On a public train. The hell?

But when I write about vaginas, I get crickets.

I'm still waiting on that cheque from the manufacturers of Vagisil.

I think there's been some kind of misunderstanding so I'm gonna make it very clear:

1. If I like a certain food, I'll share it with you. FOR FREE
2. I don't work for GO Transit, the TTC or Metrolinx
3. I don't work for an ad agency that is paying me to conduct a social media experiment about commuting
4. I don't work for the Toronto Star

This has gotten a little ridiculous. But it did give me a great idea for a banner logo!

This is your Friday

Snowboard + Douche = All Your Space

From: Dave XXXXXX
Date: Fri, Feb 17, 2012 at 9:28 AM
Subject: TTC: Use ALL the space

I followed this dude with his snowboard through Bloor-Yonge, and St. George, AND Queen's Park today. We changed trains and platforms twice.
He insisted on carrying his snowboard sideways through all the stations, insisted on shufflin'. I mean, it's not like it was morning rush hour or anything. The rest of us have NOWHERE to be. Way to piss off everyone, you 17 year-old "look, my pants match my shoes which match my jacket which match my backpack cause I've tried really hard to look like a hardcore snowboarder even though I don't want to look like I've tried hard to be matchy matchy please don't look at me but look at me" douche.


Where's he gonna snowboard in Toronto, anyway?

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Just wait til the 0:24 second mark when the illustration becomes clear

I don't know what's going on! First, it was discussions about vagina on the train, now it's illustrations of vagina on the train.

The video shows a woman across from me reading a book that contained drawings of the vagina. Perhaps it was for school but come on ...

True story. Fact factoid about me. I can't look at medical drawings of the female reproductive system without fainting. Show me a drawing of the uterus, bam! On the floor. Just writing about it makes me light-headed.

I know it's odd. I have no idea why. It's a miracle I birthed out a kid.

Yes, this is true

Somewhat Off Topic: Burger Quest

Last week, on the train ride home, I overheard a group of men singing the praises of a burger bar/joint/place in Oshawa called "The Patty Shack".

All four proclaimed the burgers were the best they'd ever eaten and said the place offers a variety of toppings ranging from guacamole to caramelized onions. There were even rumblings of deep-fried pickles.

Say what?!

I also recalled a conversation I had with my friend Jill about this place. She was adamant I go.

So last night I rounded up the hubby and kid and we paid a visit to the Patty Shack, located at 24 King St. East in Oshawa, near Simcoe Street. Coincidentally, the Patty Shack is right next door to Chan's Garden Chinese restaurant which serves, in my opinion, the best damn Chinese food - ever. My husband and I have been ordering from Chan's for over 11 years. The food never disappoints.

At the Patty Shack, we were greeted by two enthusiastic and pleasant staff members. Our burgers were cooked to perfection. My husband and I both agreed these were the best burgers we'd ever had. The topping choices were a little over-whelming and often left me second guessing my selections. I ordered sweet potato fries as a side.

The fries were cooked perfectly and tasted incredible. For dipping, we were given "gardillic" sauce, an in-house made sauce which tastes like a combination of yogurt, dill, garlic and onion. My daughter, who usually dunks her french fries in ketchup only, could not get enough of the stuff. At one point, my daughter dropped her slider onto the floor. Dejected, she picked it up and stared at it with tears filling her eyes.

I brought it to the counter, and was ready to pay for another one, only to have the cook fire up another one, compliments of the house. Hey, these small things are what make customers loyal.

We'll be back.

Vagisil Vicky

I made it a point to sit across from her today on the train. I was hoping her friend would show up so I would have a front row seat to watch and listen to what physical ailment would be discussed this morning, but her friend didn't show.

Instead, the guy behind me got busted during a fare check for not having a ticket. The fare inspector asked him to stand up and show her his pockets because he claimed to have no I.D. or wallet. He refused.

Let me stop here for a second. At this point, the train was idling at Ajax. I think this was when the inspector should have radio'ed the CSA, had the doors be opened and this gent should have been escorted off the train.

Instead, she gave him this big, long lecture about fare abuse and the penalties and fines, had him write out his information on a piece of paper, called it in and let him ride the rest of the way - FOR FREE - to Union.


Wednesday, February 15, 2012


Don Drummond wants us to help prevent Ontario from plunging into debt

Not on the back of GO riders, sir!

From 680News:
Don Drummond's "profoundly gloomy'' vision for austerity in Ontario includes bigger class sizes, higher electricity and water bills and new parking fees at GO Transit stations. They're among the 362 recommendations the former chief economist insists must be implemented to save Canada's most populous province from plunging into a debt crisis that's gripped countries like Greece.
Oh really?

Let me ask you this, Mr. Drummond. Why is that your provincially-run and taxpayer-funded transit system can't get its act together and start generating revenue from people who abuse the parking privileges that I feel we already pay for through our fares?

It's a goldmine out there some days and I'm not talking about the people who are forced to park illegally due to limited parking spaces, but the ones who park deliberately in fire zones (when there are legal spots available) and in areas designated as no-parking to avoid a long walk to the the platform?

I learned recently that this past week, in Brampton, only one driver out of many parked illegally had a ticket on his windshield. The fine was $100.00. One car!

Our fares go up February 18th. Why don't you take that fare hike and hire eight parking enforcement officers and fan them out early in the morning to fine GO customers who can't park appropriately and legally in the spots provided?

You should take that fare increase and hire more patrol for the platforms where the smokers who ignore the no-smoking bylaw are ticketed.

How about you start making good on all these transit by-laws that rarely get enforced and start collecting some fines?

If you want proof of the abuse, I'll gladly share all the photographic evidence I've amassed.

Leave us good GO commuters alone. The free parking is part of the reason why the GO system works. Go after the donkeys who abuse the system.

That's how you can make some money.

Things I really don't want to know

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

You asked

Here are the Valentine's Day requests for publication I got.

From: *******
Date: Tue, Feb 14, 2012 at 4:51 AM
Subject: Pls publish

Ode to Llana from Ghi

Met u on the train
Saw u had a brain
I said hey
You didn't say no way
This is when I knew
we was cool
7 years past
Babe its been a blast
U know I got u
U know u r mine
Lovin' u like Valentine

From: ***********
Date: Tue, Feb 14, 2012 at 7:21 AM
Subject: Shoutout to my honey bear

Susie, I know how much you love this crazy train. But not as much as I love you. Happy Valentine's day honey bear

From: **********
Date: Tue, Feb 14, 2012 at 10:03 AM
Subject: Valentine request

I know you hate this day but my boyfriend is a hopeless romantic. He'd get a kick if he saw a dedication from me to him on your blog.
Craig, this is our second V-Day together. I love how you always make this day special for me.

I gotta ask... If this is the second Valentine's Day you've had with Mike and last year was the first, how does he always make this day special? Is there a history there you're not sharing?

From: ***********
Date: Tue, Feb 14, 2012 at 12:58 PM
Subject: Poem for my son

I showed my son your site a while ago and I think he still reads your site so I'm hoping I can send a Valentine's Day shout out if that's ok? Have a great day Sam! Cookies are in the fridge! Mama-Love

Dear Mama-Love,
No offence but none of that rhymed. Worst poem ever.

From: ************
Date: Tue, Feb 14, 2012 at 1:03 PM
Subject: Can you publish this poem for me?

You said you wanted a car
Because the one you have doesn't get you far
I told you we'd have to wait
As we're always paying bills late
But you said get a second job
And I said isn't there a bank we can rob?
You laughed and punched my arm
And I knew you meant me no harm
But I still felt bad
And I knew you were kinda sad
So I begged, borrowed but didn't steal
So I could buy you a set of wheels
I'm come home with it tonight
It's gonna be all right
So Liz, is it a date?
I'm gonna pick you up around eight.
- K-man

This is what I call a good day

Hell to the no

This is not the shout-outs.

Any and all requests to tell your honey-boo bear to have a happy day and that you'll be his Valentine forever are being rejected because I reject it.


Rejected like Ralph from the Simpson's when Lisa wouldn't let him "choo-choo choose" her as his Valentine. Listen to Lisa! The girl is smart!

Someone actually sent in a poem. A poem!

The hell!

Monday, February 13, 2012

Fake owl ... looks fake

As seen outside of Union Station. Thanks to Dan D. for the pic. Sorry I forgot about this!

Even the CSAs knew it was lame

GO tried. They did. They tried really hard to convince us that a GO gift card was the gift card that would guarantee steak and that other thing this Valentine's Day.

I didn't hear a single announcement on my rides today and someone at the Oshawa station had penciled in on the ad that was stuck on the shelter glass: "Guarantees a divorce. Buy diamonds instead," according to email I got.

I hate Valentine's Day. Always have. But my kid loves it and she orders my husband off to a store to purchase what she thinks are great gifts for me. She has a thing for vases. I have four vases, all red, and interesting in shape, because of her. She also knows her mom has a thing for Turtles. God bless that kid.

Say goodbye to 2- and 10-ride passes

GO's kicking the green ticket stamping machines to the landfill nobody wants this summer. I should know. We're getting an incinerator in Clarington. Let me tell you, people are pissed. I guess these same people forget about the big ol' nuclear power plant at the foot of Holt Road.

Anyhoo, landfill, right. Burn garbage. Don't bury it.

Come June 1, Metrolinx (GO's owner) is pulling out the green machines and forcing fans of the stamp/punch/cancel dance to use Presto. There are no plans to get rid of the monthly paper passes... yet.
Here's more on the reasons why.

Yes, I've been drinking. Why you ask?

I'm the little blue light that flashes in the Bay Street office of GO headquarters

People complain to me a lot about GO Transit. I read the emails with a great deal of sympathy but am always confused about why people think I can help them. I guess it's cathartic to pour out one's frustrations to someone who rides the train, who knows the issues, who can relate to the aggravations about parking and people speeding in the parking lots, or smoking on platforms.

Just this morning this dude was puffing away on the Oshawa platform under a no-smoking sign and in full view of a GO employee. So I looked at said employee and asked, "Can't you say something?" And he said, "Can't." Then he turned so I could see the words BOMBARDIER emblazoned across the back of his coat.


So I took matters into my own hands. That's right. I tied on my green cape, adjusted my Hulk smash hands and asked the pompous shit to butt out his cigarette telling him the rules are for everyone. It was a full eight minutes to departure. This guy can't go smoke in the parking lot?! Get bent.

I asked him why he felt he was above all the other smokers quietly puffing away near the parking lot. He told me he was disabled. Disabled!? What the hell does that have to do with obeying the rules?


Anyhoo ... this email came in last week from SAM.

from: SAM
date: Wed, Feb 8, 2012 at 11:27 AM
subject: GO Transit called me!

I just came across your blog, and you are SO awesome for doing this. I had recently made a complaint to GO Transit about the awful parking donkeys at Ajax...

“Pause for a phone call”

Believe it or not, I just got a phone call from Julie at GO Transit as I was writing this. They must have felt the negative energy I was sending them. (No, it was that blue light that goes off in their office when they know the Crazy Train has been contacted - CJ)

As I was saying, I was telling them my story about two commuter vehicles,

- racing around the lot,
- trying to find a spot because they like to arrive 10 seconds before the train arrives,
- how I narrowly missed being struck by BOTH these vehicles because they couldn't see me behind fire-route-parkers,
- as I walked the 950m from my spot to the platform.

I'm not a very tall person (4'11" to be exact), so they are not likely to see me behind any donkeys. To imagine being struck by these vehicles really frightened me.

They phone me regarding this complaint to tell me that they forwarded my complaint to Transit Safety and the reason they can't tag or tow parking donkeys is that their Enforcement is spread thin and that it happens at every station. She proceeded to tell me that they are trying to be creative with their solutions, such as PERHAPS creating a computerized gate that counts the cars that come in and shuts when the lot has reached its capacity (Yeh, like that would work: you'd still have donkeys parking illegally while all the other spots near the back remain vacant). Even at Whitby where there is a parking structure, people still park illegally to be closer to the platform.

As an advocate of customer service, receiving a response - let alone the phone-call variety - is very rare. So you can imagine my surprise upon receiving a verbal apology - it allowed me some absolution to my daily grief.

Anyway, THANK YOU CJ. The stories - and story-tellers – you have collected are primo. Thank you for making my day and settling my sanity (if only for a short while).


Sunday, February 12, 2012

These are not the droids you are looking for

Text message from 1905844XXXX
to 19054420352 (
SAT FEB 11 2012 11:15 AM

Please. You help me??

from (
to 1905844XXXX
SAT FEB 11 2012 11:16 AM

What's up?

I lost my prestocard.

Oh dear. Well you better call Presto or GO 1888GETONGO

It long distance?

It's toll free.

What mean?

That it's free.


So you help?

Help with what?

Find card.

Um, well, my unicorn is currently being horsehoe'd at the moment and the Blacksmith is behind schedule so I'm unavailable.



What you talking about?

What are *you* talking about?

I talking lost prestocard.

Yep, I got that much. Dunno why we're still texting each other tho.

I need find card.

How do you think I can help you?

Turn it off.

Turn it off?

Yes make blank or something......if someone find they no use it.

I'm afraid I can't do that.


These are not the droids you looking for?

Why you stupid!!!

Can I ask who you think you're texting?



Did you Google "cant remember my prestocard it is lost" today?


How did you get this number that you're texting. Did you Google it?


I see.

So you think I'm Presto?

You help me!!!!!

I can't! The only person that can help you is someone at GO Transit.

Ok.... Asshole.

Some helpful advice from abroad

Finally! Someone who's honest about his parking abilibity

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Mom doesn't understand us

Last weekend, my mother confessed to me that she doesn't understand my blog. She also said she doesn't understand why anyone reads it. Ouch.

She giggled and covered her mouth with her hand ... like she was embarrassed.

My mother has little to no experience with the woes of public transit and the nuances of other passengers. Mom uses the subway about once a year and the GO train? Cue tumbleweeds.

Don't get me wrong, my mom has been on the GO train. She loves the GO train. The Pickering Town Centre is her favourite shopping centre and my mom is one of those women who blocks off an entire day to shop at one mall. Up until 18 years ago, my mom rode the GO train to Pickering at least once a year for her annual "shop day".

She also doesn't understand how we can possibly be annoyed by the first world problems that are well documented throughout this website.

Secretly I think my mom is a foot rider.

Friday, February 10, 2012

The percentage of your foot covering the cushion does not matter. It's still on a seat

Me: Excuse me, please don't do that while I'm sitting here.

Leather jacket man: Sorry, what? (Pulls earbuds from his ears)

Me: Use this seat (me pointing) as a footstool.

Leather jacket man: It's just the top of my shoe. Get over it (sticks his earbuds back in and shuts his eyes).

Me: (Bag beatdown. Bag beatdown. Bag beatdown)

Later, at the Durham Regional Police holding cell ...

Note: the last part of this story is fiction.

Your age.

In my latest poll (now closed) called:

The following results were collected:
05-15 (the hell you doin' on this blog?) : 8 (3%)
16-25 : 37 (15%)
26-35 : 101 (41%)
36-45 : 56 (22%)
46-54 : 32 (13%)
Over the hill 55+ : 8 (3%)
Retirement is the bomb 65+ : 3 (1%)
Votes: 245

You know what's depressing about these numbers? 138 of us have a long way to go before we retire.

Run, run! Run for your car! First out of the lot ... wait ... where are you ... going?

That's right. Run away from Corporate America... you 1%

Thanks to @GOTrainHate for the heads-up

All I want is a pack of six hot dog buns. How about you?

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

This is your Friday

Some friendly advice for that other crazy train

from Dave R.

I'm a new reader to the blog (and love it, cause while I don't take GO very often, I practically live on the TTC), and thought I'd share my ettiquette encounters this morning.

1. There was a HUGE delay southbound from Sheppard, which creates the inevitable domino effect of packed trains. I finally got onto the fourth one that came in, and it was crush load, sardine-can PACKED. I was in the middle with nothing to hold on to, as were bunch of other people. We went ONE stop. This lady next to me starts to try to jostle past me (the train is so full that I can't actually lift my arms from my sides) and is all "Sorry, I need to hold on to something."

Yeah lady, we'd all like to hold on to something. Right now, I'm just rubbing up against this fellow next to me, cause frankly, THERE IS NOTHING TO HOLD ON TO. She made ALL these people readjust so that she could hold on... and then got off two stops later.

2. The guy I was rubbing up against? Insisting on reading the f*cking metro paper, with a massive shoulder bag. Come on people. Take off your bags. TAKE THEM OFF. Put them on your feet. And don't read the paper when the train is full. Just don't. Count the screws in the ceiling, hum a tune in your head, but make life easy for people.

3. Don't sit sideways in a fore/aft-facing seat. Just don't. Your bags and feet and shit are taking up space in the aisle. I reserve the right to rub my muddy boot all over your stuff/accidentally kick you every time the train shifts.

4. Finally, in this sardine can of a train, don't fart. It smelled like someone shat their pants. Hold it in, and crop-dust the platform at the next station, but do not fart on a packed train.

All of this, one commute, three trains.


Thursday, February 9, 2012

It's a damn shame

My post about people and their stuff resulted in a few emails from other passengers who also find it annoying to sit in a quad with one other person who claims the two other seats as their own. Equally aggravating for others are people who toss their garbage on the floor or don't collect their newspapers when they leave the train.

Please, let me share:

Photo courtesy of David H.

Amy R. writes:
I blame GO for some of the mess. They took away the garbage bins and bins they had for newspapers on the platforms so people leave papers and garbage on the trains. GO also doesn't provide proper waste disposal methods on their trains. Those garbages are too tiny considering the volume of passengers. I'm not implying customers are in the right to throw stuff under their seats but if you don't provide waste cans, peeople are forced to be pigs.

Harry S. says:
This guy got on my train once at Exhibition in the summer carrying a box with a large pizza in it. He ate about half of it and then put the remainder on the seat opposite of him which was the seat beside me. He got off a couple of stops later and just left his pizza there. I was asleep and didn't see the pizza he left beside me until he was long gone. When I got off at my stop, this woman thought it was my garbage and she grabbed it and shoved it into my chest as I stood near the doors and yelled loudly for the whole train to hear that I should take my trash with me. This other guy says to her that it wasn't mine and the guy who was eating it left. You think I got an apology? Some people. I was so angered by that. I wanted to whip that box back at her.

Please, you go on and spread out

On the train this morning, boarding in Oshawa, I initially arrived first to the quad I was in and was joined shortly afterwards by a woman armed with three purses, two newspapers and a cup of coffee.

She used the seat beside her and the seat beside me as her coffee tables. It was utterly annoying to have her toss her fliers and crap next to me. As we left Whitby, she used the pile of papers she had thrown on the seat next to me as her footstool, putting both of her booted feet up on the seat.

At Ajax, she took her feet down and left her mess of newspapers and two of her purses next to me and was using the seat opposite of me as a place to rest her phone, iPod and cup. People who were boarding at Ajax gave me the stink eye. So finally, after the fourth or fifth person scoping for a seat rolled eyes at me, I said loudly, "This is not my mess. Feel free to ask for this stuff to be moved." The lady across from me couldn't hear me anyway since she had her music cranked. This man taps her and asks her to move her shit.

When we arrived at Union, I reminded her to pick up her empty coffee cup that she had tossed on the floor.

Some people really need to ride VIA.

A perfect example of the classy folks who ride the GO Train in the wee hours

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

They see me running... they be hatin' ...

Text message from 905263XXXX
to 9054427423 (
WED FEB 08 2012 08:11 AM

One of my biggest pet peeves is when I'm running for the train such as the 7:53 train this morning in Oshawa and because it takes forever to find a spot I'm usually running for the train and what irks me is when the CSA sees you running and closes the doors. How do these jerks sleep at night? Then to make matters worse sometimes they come to a dead stop and just sit there because of a brake check and the CSA doesn't open the doors to let those of us stranded on the train get on. I wasn't impressed I had to take the 8:25 this morning. Nor have I been impressed on those mornings where I could have taken the 7:53 while the train sat there after moving an inch and didn't open the doors.

Text message from 9054427423 -
to 905263XXXX
WED FEB 08 2012 08:12 AM

Not to be mean, rude or bitchy but if you don't make it onto the 7:53 AM train before it leaves (ON TIME), the CSA is doing his/her job by closing the doors and keeping GO Transit on schedule. GO made me a promise trains would be on time. They didn't make you a promise that if you were late they'd hold the train for you. I'm sure the CSAs sleeps just fine at night. If you know parking is a problem at Oshawa why not make the effort to leave 5 minutes earlier or just drive to Whitby and use the parking garage? As for starts and stops and idling trains, I am sure there are safety reasons for why doors don't open. But I have witnessed doors opening after the train has moved a foot or so. I know it's upsetting to miss a train but it's no one's fault but your own.

Text message from 905263XXXX
to 9054427423 (
WED FEB 08 2012 08:27 AM

Wow! Quite a response from someone who's the first to point out the error of everyone's ways. have you never been late for a train?

Text message from 9054427423 -
to 905263XXXX
WED FEB 08 2012 08:28 AM

But you ARE in error! So of course I'm going to point it out. Yes, I've been late for trains but I just wait for the next one. I once witnessed a person pull off a shoe and whip it at the train as it was leaving. I find such anger comical because really, trains are supposed to be on-time. That's how it works. Imagine how chaotic it would be if CSAs waited for every late person?

"And they stood there like turkeys as they watched the train they just missed pull away ..."

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

A GO gift card says I love you

I'm sure, somewhere, in some marriage, this is the most amazing gift ever.
In mine, it's worthy of a nut punch.

From GO Transit's Facebook
Take the load off your loved one’s commuting costs and buy them a GO Gift Card for Valentine’s Day:

I'm a stickler for grammar. You can't call a loved one (singular) "them" (plural). It's him or her.

More bad behaviour on display

And people think this isn't a dirty, filthy practice. Check out this video. It's what we get to sit on when these clowns leave.

How about you stick your suitcase in the aisle?

According to @Norms_Brain on Twitter, this woman boarded at Oakville (LSW). She swung her big pink suitcase into a quad with her.

When the train became crowded, she swung her big suitcase in front of her (sitting near the window! The hell!) forcing a man to sit awkwardly in the quad and preventing other people from sitting in the seat opposite of her.

Honest to God.

Here's how it works, you donkeys.

You sit in an aisle seat and you move your suitcase to the side of you and if it's in the way of people boarding, you stand up, put your suitcase on the seat and let people by and then you resume position.

No wonder people suffer from GO rage. What happened to courtesy and common sense?!

More incredibly, no one said anything to this woman. Man, if I'd been on that train, I'd be playing little Miss Bitch Conductor.

Monday, February 6, 2012

The hell? Blonde woman uses blowdryer on Barrie train and no one cares

Fast forward to 20:34 of this episode of Breakfast Television (BT) to watch this f*ckery go down.
BT doesn't allow for embedding because they have to make you watch the same ad 40 gazillion times while you try to zip through a show.

Why is this not on YouTube?

Meanwhile, at the Ajax GO Station

Now, I am not too certain if it is because today was the first commuter platform restriction day or something else was going on, BUT (!!!) there was a transit security officer at the top of the escalator making certain no one stood there.

It was an interesting experience being able to exit the door on the same side I rode the escalator up on. GoTransitBitch should be happy if this becomes a permanent thing. Or permanent enough that people change their behaviour.

As well, for those that get on the train at Rouge Hill, there is no sense bitching about the Ajax people taking up the seats in "your cars". Nothing we can do about it. Why don't you move further down the platform? Those cars will be mostly empty.

- Squiggles

So just how dirty are those seats on the bus?

I see...

The Whitby GO station might be on fire -- UPDATE: It's someone's truck

According to the Twittersphere (shortly after 1pm), these pics were snapped by @mir118 and sent to me to share. Hope everyone's ok.