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Friday, November 8, 2013

Thursday, November 7, 2013

This is not an "ad". Don't be insulting


Oy. VEY. Why do I let the haters get to me sometimes? Got a ridiculous text message from some jerk who felt he/she had to "call me out" on my "no advertising policy" but "it appears I am advertising for Veterans' Affairs Canada".

No, you moron, I am honoring our war vets.

Get bent.

GO Transit gives token of appreciation to singing poppy vet, Bill Reid, at Appleby GO Station


Here's the original, full size photo courtesy of the Metrolinx PR department:


Here's Bill singing his heart out:


YouTube video of Mr. Reid from 2012 via Global News

Picture helps tells the story

from: DM
to: GO Train blog (cj@thiscrazytrain.com)
date: Thu, Nov 7, 2013 at 7:20 AM
subject: Quiet Zone Cage Match

Hey CJ,

I hadn't even been on the train from Barrie for 30 mins this morning when this obnoxiously loud dick and I think his 20-something son get on, sit across the aisle from each other and start having a yell-talk conversation. A woman with her husband in the next quad quietly "shhhh"s this man. He clearly doesn't know the rules. It's just now that the SHIT has hit the friggin' fan!

Loud dick goes "WHAT?! You can hear me through your god damn head phones?!" Lady, now realizing she's dealing with a sociopath, says quietly, "Well yes, you're speaking quite loudly and this is the quiet zone". Loud dick goes "Well turn them the fuck up then!"

Lady's husband is not havin' that so he asks that Loud Dick not speak to his wife in such a manner. Loud Dick, in typical silverback gorilla fashion yells, "Don't even fuckin' start with me bro! You come at me if you have something to say!". Husband, I guess, is feeling like he's gotta defend the honor of his shushing maiden, stands up and throws some major cut-eye at Loud Dick. But, as we all know, stupidity is not often undeterred by common decency so Loud Dick jumps up and now tries to grab the husband. Loud Dick Jr. finally steps in at this point and somehow manages to wrangle his dad (while I'm sure wishing he was adopted), and lady gets her husband to let it go.

Always one to get the last word in though, Loud Dick yells, "That's RIGHT asshole."

All aboard the Jersey Shore Express!!!

DM

-------------------------------

I love how I am listed as "GO Train blog" in DM's contacts. 

But seriously, how heartwarming is this story?

I have to ask, what have we become as a society? That an outright physical altercation occurs because of a "Shh"?

As passengers, we have a right to feel safe on the train. If a similar situation happens on your train, the CSA should be notified. You don't have to push the strip and delay the train, but at least head on over to the accessibility coach and report the behaviour.

Dude should have been tossed off at the next stop.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Anyone have any idea what the outcome was? Re: Woman who was beaten and sexually assaulted on GO train in 1991

This landed in my in-box tonight:

16 years ago, she was attacked on a GO train. She's still fighting to get over it

All the person asked is if I had any information, six years later, if this was ever resolved as the person believes I work for GO Transit.

No, I do not work for GO Transit. This is the first time I've ever heard this story. It's disturbing. And unfortunately, I don't know if she ever got the financial compensation she was looking for.

Where's the bus?

Via Email

Howdy, Ms. Cindy!

It’s a real honor for me to be writin’ a famous person like you.  My missus, Daisy May, loves readin’ yer Crazy Train stories, but she got real upset the other day when you told ever’body that them there folks at GO Transit wasn’t keep y’all informed right proper ‘bout late trains.  You know, this here story.

Now Daisy May and me, we been married 29 years, and then some, and in that time she ain’t cussed but twice as I can recall.  When Daisy May got to readin’ the comments after the story, she was madder than a wet hen in a tote sack when she learned you bus folk don’t get told that buses are late or don’t show up.  That ain’t right!

Daisy May turned to me and said, “Billy Bob, we gotta help that nice Cindy lady!  It’s not right them yokels in Operations lettin’ her down like that.  We gotta tell Ms. Cindy ‘bout that new fangled real-time bus finder the local transit folks just installed here.  Maybe she can sit down with that Gary McNeil fella and get him to do the same at GO before he rides off into the sunset.”

Now, Ms. Cindy, home for us is in the southern parts of this country.  We lives in a fair to middlin’ town called St. Catharines.  Ever heard of it?  Any way, back to buses and such.  Real coincidence here, ‘cause them GO fellas run their big green buses through here, too.  But the company treats us folks here like we’re a hillbilly backwater stop.  Them city slickers won’t even put up a bus shelter for us.  Nope!  It don’t matter that this town carries Route 12 through the year; not like that summer time flash in the pan Niagara Falls.

Oops!  The missus is givin’ me the evil eye ‘cause I’m rachet jawin’.

So, the folks at St. Catharines Transit got this real slick system that tells you when the next bus you’re waitin’ for is gonna be there for you.  Check out the nitty gritty at this here web site.  It’s not as funky as yer blog site, Ms. Cindy, but it gets the job done.

On my cell phone, I just set up a contact called Find SCT Bus.  I sends a text message of the stop I’m at to the central phone number, and like magic a message comes back tellin’ me when then next buses are rollin’ past that very spot.  Hot diggity!  I know, you think I’m joshin’ you.  Well, here’s the proof.

A Route 9 bus in 25 minutes, and a Route 12 bus in 7 minutes at the Geneva St. @ N. Service Road stop – right in front of the Tim Hortons.  How convenient is that?  And all without some newfangled not-for-Z10 app!

There you go, Ms. Cindy.  The missus and me, we hope you can convince them dudes at Metrolinx to smarten up and replace that arcane e-mail alert system of theirs with something that’s simple and easy to use.  If they get confused and don’t understand the concept, tell the GO brass hop on one of their honkin’ big buses to pay us a visit; we’ll be glad to help.  (Speakin’ of honkin’, could you tell the GO bosses that their DDs need a more “manly” sounding horn?)

That’s it for now, Ms. Cindy.  Daisy May says she loves them pumpkin dishes you’ve been sharin’ on the internets.  She says if you want, she’ll share her mama’s secret BBQ possum recipe with you.  Roadside kill just doesn’t taste any better than that!

Y’all keep ridin’ those trains and buses in style!

Billy Bob

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Operation Care Bear

GO Transit Safety Officers (TSO) took to Twitter this morning to help re-unite a lost stuffed bear with its owner.
If you have an idea who the bear belongs to, you can contact me - cj@thiscrazytrain.com and I can send your details off to the TSOs.
The bear is resting comfortably at GO's Lost and Found office in Union Station.

Whose Feet Are Those?

Over the past year, many of us have bore witness to this disturbing trend of people riding GO trains and buses bare foot.

The New York Times published an article recently about this trend in poor etiquette exhibiting itself on airplanes.

The explanation?

"Barefoot flying is merely one example of how public space, especially in airports and on airplanes, is rapidly transforming into more personal and intimate territory."

Swap out the word airplanes for commuter trains and it's also true. It's also gross.

There's a whole blog post dedicated to this nastiness over at Rants of a Sassy Stew.

Make sure your breakfast is down before you hit the link.

Imagine having to deal with this?

Yuck.
Photo from Sassy Stew

Today marks the beginning of Veterans' Week - if you're a LSW'r, be sure to say hi to Bill at Appleby GO Station

Monday, November 4, 2013

Oh, your feet are cold on the GO bus? So you take your shoes off and warm them on your dinner? Classy.

Photo via meetingmaybe

Life time GO Transit pass? Wishing you all the best in your future endeavors Mr. McNeil!

Ali Gator gets his refund for that disastrous Double Decker Thanksgiving weekend ride home but problems still remain with Presto in compliance with GO's Passenger Charter

From AG
to M, Gary, cj@thiscrazytrain.com
Dear M.

Thank you for investigating my Service Guarantee claim and resolving it in the only manner possible.  I accept your apology on behalf of Metrolix and their culpability for all root causes leading to this matter.

Whereas Metrolinx appreciates that I "may disagree with the 15-minute requirement", let there be no doubt that I totally disagree with it in this case.  I do not comprehend the assertion that it "would be very difficult to identify which trains customers were riding".  Whether I tapped on one minute after the 16:42 train left or one minute before the 17:37 train arrived, there was only one train I could have boarded legitimately, namely, the17:37.  No?  What other options were available to me?  Why can't the $700,000,000 PRESTO system recognize that?  And why did the trip eligibility facility determine that the trip from Burlington to Union was due for a refund but not my trip from Burlington to Pickering?  This PRESTO "solution" smacks of failure on all fronts.  Do Metrolinx head office personnel take field trips with bus drivers to see what front-line staff deals with on a daily basis with PRESTO?

Let there be no doubt, the Service Guarantee claims adjudication process is a sham.  If my claim was denied because of the 15-minute rule, why didn't the e-mail response say that instead of "trip information provided on the claim form does not correspond to your PRESTO card’s trip history"?  How does that response comply with the Passenger Charter wherein GO Transit promises they will be clear and consistent in their communications?  May I suggest that future automated Service Guarantee claims failures be forwarded to Customer Relations for investigation and follow-up, so as to avoid nonsensical e-mails being sent to irate clients?

Instead of exploring “ways of making the process easier for all customers", Metrolinx needs to expedite ways of making the process easier for all customers!

You are quite welcome for my "valuable feedback".  To whom shall I submit my invoice for future advice?  As my accountant reminds me, I am not a registered charity.  Perhaps Mr. McNeil can provide guidance on matters pertaining to accounts payable.

Sincerely,
AG


On 10/24/2013 10:23 AM, M wrote:
October 24, 2013

Reference No: 2013053864

Dear Mr. AG:

Thank you for your email regarding your Service Guarantee claim.  I appreciate your patience while I investigated your concerns.

Firstly, I would like to apologize for the inconvenience you experienced using our service on October 11th.  Unfortunately, your Service Guarantee claim was not approved because you tapped on at Burlington GO more than 15 minutes prior to the next scheduled train departure.

I can appreciate that you may disagree with the 15-minute requirement.  However when designing the Service Guarantee Program, we had to establish a threshold across the system to identify who was on the train. Without having a threshold of 15 minutes, it would be very difficult to identify which trains customers were riding.  When determining this threshold policy, we looked at travel patterns and noticed that the majority of our customers tap on with their PRESTO card 5 to 10 minutes before departure.  I understand that it can be an inconvenience for those who tap on earlier and we will continue to explore ways of making the process easier for all customers.

Given the extenuating circumstances, I have resubmitted your claim and your PRESTO card will be credited $12.22 the next time you tap.

Thank you for providing us with your valuable feedback.

Sincerely,

M
Customer Service Representative

Cc.       Gary McNeil, President, GO Transit
            C. J. Smith, Web Publisher, www.thiscrazytrain.com


From: M
Sent: Monday, October 21, 2013 10:30 AM
To: 'ag'
Cc: Gary McNeil
Subject: GO Transit, A Division of Metrolinx

October 21, 2013

Reference No: 2013053864

Dear Mr. AG:

Thank you for your email.  I am currently investigating your concerns and will respond when I have more information.  I appreciate your patience during this time.

Sincerely,

M
Customer Service Representative

Cc.       Gary McNeil, President, GO Transit

From: AG
Sent: Friday, October 18, 2013 9:03 PM
To: Customer Relations
Cc: Gary McNeil; C.J. Smith
Subject: Re: GO Train Service Guarantee update

Dear Sir or Madam,

Please convey to the adjudicator for this claim that I reject their rejection.  I have escalated the matter to a higher authority via the following trip report:
Sincerely,
AG
On 10/13/2013 8:40 PM, claims@gotransit.com wrote:
Your claim #FG13101210156311 has not been processed.

The trip information provided on the claim form does not correspond to your PRESTO card’s trip history. Please submit a new claim atwww.gotransit.com/guarantee, and ensure that the trip information provided is correct.

Thank you,
GO Transit


This email was auto-generated, please do not reply. For more information on the GO Train Service Guarantee, please visitwww.gotransit.com/guarantee.

© GO Transit 2012

Friday, November 1, 2013

Quiet Zone madness!

Last night on the train ride to Oshawa, this man came up the stairs while we were still at Union chatting on his phone. He sat down in the quad behind me, continuing to loudly conduct his phone call.

I put my headphones in, turned up the sound for my Angry Birds game, and forgot about him.

I don't know about you, but this is how I roll in the Quiet Zone. I have no expectation of quiet. I ride like it's 2012/11/10/09 -- pick a year.

I got an inkling the man hadn't ended his call when the train started rolling because I could see folks around me sitting higher in their seats, and straining their necks to catch a glimpse of him. The lady beside me was extra annoyed. I took my headphones out.

With each page turn of her TOnight newspaper, she would audibly sigh and then turn to look at (let's call him George) who was repeatedly telling the person on the line that, "that's why I wanted to discuss this with you".

"... I know. And that's why I figured we should talk."

Page turn. Sigh.

"... uh-huh. Good that we can discuss it ... "

Page turn, Sigh. Shift in seat. Strain neck. Shoot death stare.

Why can't some of you just speak up and voice your annoyance? You know what's not so quiet? All of these moans and groans, exaggerated gestures and dramatic page turning. That's more annoying than George who is really happy he's discussing whatever he's discussing with the person he needed to discuss it with.

A few minutes later, I could hear the faint beeping of a Presto inspection on the first level. Up come two enforcement officers and I swear to God, it was like being in grade school. Several people tapping their cards leaned forward in whispered confidence to ask the Transit Officers if they could ask George to end his phone call -- a la AND RESPECT ALL THE QUIET ZONES!

I. Was. Amazed.

George didn't look like the kind of guy, if confronted, who would make a scene or stick someone with a straw. And damned if I was going to be the Quiet Zone Spokesperson. No one ever thanks me, so fuck it.

The Transit Officers listened with exaggerated empathy (good on you guys) and reminded these passengers that they are entitled to say something. One woman was incredulous at this suggestion, telling the officer, "The guy should know better". Snort. Yeah, lots of adults should know better, but they don't. This whole site is built on adults who should know better.

Finally one officer relented and asked George to can it. I think George was oblivious to where he was sitting on the train. He ended his phone call immediately and stared hard out the window.

Around me, people smiled in smug satisfaction.

Ugh. You guys had nothing to be proud of.

I'm gonna use a phrase I used to use on my sisters every time I beat them at a game of Pole Position.

REE-DONKEY-YOU-LOSE!

Vive la France!

from: Paul C
to: cj@thiscrazytrain.com
date: Tue, Oct 29, 2013 at 1:55 PM
subject: How the French do it

Just got back from a trip to France and thought you might enjoy these photos.

1) How French rail passengers get around the 'No Smoking on Trains' policy….if you stand at the door with your lighter ready, when the train arrives you can get in a few puffs before the doors close again.



2) Sign on a train station platform - Not sure what this meant (a friend is convinced it means "Hamilton Penalty, ball spotted on the one yard line, third down and goal") but i like that they call their train crews "Departure Assistants" as opposed to CSA's



3) Please don't mock me for sticking with Blackberry….I have a term contract…..anyways, the GPS was entertaining when we rode a TGV train - man those things move - and the ride is rock steady.



Hope these are of interest - Keep up the fun and mayhem - Paul

Thursday, October 31, 2013

And the contest continues at Smoakville!

from: MM
to: cj@thiscrazytrain.com
date: Thu, Oct 24, 2013 at 5:19 PM
subject: Sometimes you get greedy...

This morning my whole schedule was thrown off, so I thought the game was going to be over for this week (see previous).

But this afternoon I got a chance to drop by the station while doing other car errands in the neighbourhood.

The parking lot was crowded (naturally) but I lucked into a space. It was far enough away from the station that I though seriously of not even trying... but I was curious to see if the afternoon was any different from what I'm used to (early morning and late evening).

The first thing I noticed was the afternoon is only totally a different kind of environment. In the morning, there are few people outside the building, but most of those outside are smoking. The ratio of smokers in the afternoon is a lot lower, but the size of the crowds is so much larger that the overall number of buttsuckers dwarfs anything I have seen before 7:00. Trains come in, and seconds later the area is filled with people lighting up as they come out the entrance to the passage. I missed three or four great shots because I was just amazed at the richness of photo ops available.

The first two shots included are of a guy who was out in front of the station after the crowd thinned. I think I got a bonus when he bent over and spit on the ground... two antisocial behaviours documented for the price of one. I think those shots would probably have satisfied my criteria for the week, but - like the title says - I got greedy.

I had seen at least one thundering herd of nic-freaks and I wanted a shot of a smoker stampede before I left.

Unfortunately, time was ticking down on my twenty minute self imposed contest rule... and no train was due in.

Then this nattily dressed guy brushes past me and steps up beside the posted schedule board by the doorway and lights up. Unlike the expectorating chap, this guy was dressed to the nines. He had that useless yet overpaid  look you find only in certain corporate lawyers and sports commentators.I snapped off one or two frames from about three meters away, then decided to call it a day.

I was halfway across the spacious parking lot when I heard someone calling out for someone to stop. I turned, and Mr-Overdressed was striding to close the 40 meter or so distance between us. I can practically write the convo beforehand.... but this guy shad some disturbing novelty to his act.

"Did you take my picture back there...?"

"Yes"

"You can't take my picture without my permission." From his tie and suit I had thought he might be a lawyer... guess not.

"No, sir. Anything that can be seen in a public place is fit to be photographed."

I had to stop only to look both ways  because my car was across an exit lane of traffic. Other wise I would have kept walking.

"Who are you?"

"I don't have to tell you that."

"Why did you take my picture?"

"I don't have to tell you that either."

Now the disturbing part...

Buddy says "Yeah - I think I saw you taking pictures of a little girl with that camera. You must need your meds."

Now I wonder where THAT comes from?

I ask him to step away with his still lit smoke, as I am allergic. He keeps it up. So I call his bluff.

"Listen, sir, if you feel that way, call the police. I'll stay right here, but I'll ask you to step away with your cigarette..."

I step towards him to emphasize the point.

All of a sudden he's all about "Get back!"

So I turn and cross the lane. He starts walking away and we shout the usual trash talk at each other...

CJ - this guy is a leetle cray-cray... maybe your underdressed and overfurred  legal team would advise to  blur his pic?

Tomorrow the week is over - so far I'm batting 5 for 4 - a .1200 average .. I really didn't think it would be this easy. Even with my low opinion of Smoakville, I still held out hope that it couldn't be that bad.

...also noted - no enforcement to be seen.

I think that will be the next contest - a day count for spotting enforcement of ANYTHING at Smoakville station...

It appears that GO Transit has a slightly different opinion of what clean means than what passengers think it means

from: Four Seasons 
to: "C.J. Smith"
date: Wed, Oct 30, 2013 at 5:27 PM
subject: Wonder how often they will give this a clean

It's been like this forever...


This is the 1730 Richmond hill Train going northbound..and it's the one before the accessible car..I think the coach number is 2207 but don't remember...

SEND IN THE FAIRIES!

*Tear

from: Natalie L.
to: CJ Smith
date: Thu, Oct 31, 2013 at 12:13 AM
subject: thiscrazytrain

Hi Cindy

Recently I discovered your website when a friend mentioned it on Twitter. Apparently you posted a picture of someone they know from Whitby who had some weed  a train. From this person didn't realize, is that you didn't take the picture and it seems people are getting upset without realizing it was the person's friend who took the photo and put it on instagram. When I explained this, there stuff being said that it was an invasion of privacy and it was even said you should have asked permission to put it on your site or that you should not have put it on your site because it wasn't your picture.
I saw some of the comments and I felt bad for you as you didn't deserve the trash talk you were getting. Also, I have to say I was offended when you made a suggestion that anyone in the picture would be terrible at grammar because that's like saying anyone under 21 sucks at English. But then this was funny at the same time because I could see the effort the person was taking  on Twitter to write proper sentences which can be kinda hard on Twitter because you only get so much space. It is true that lots of friends of mine who are under 19 use a lot of short terms and write badly but it's done pretty much for speed. My mom says it's punctuation is where a lot of teenagers fail miserably. Anyway, as it turns out, both of my parents are lawyers and my dad is a trademark and copyright specialist. He knows a lot about copyright, like with photographs from the internet and he said you didn't do anything wrong when you posted that picture from instagram. I don't know if you were worried but I think it was stupid of anyone to take the photo in the first place and really dumb to put it online, and with the hashtag like you said where anyone could find it.
Anyway, I just wanted to write you and tell you that I also don't like people who put their shoes on the seat or act like they own the whole train or block the doors when I need to get off Whitby and they don't get off until Oshawa. I'm at Ryerson. I take the train just like you do and I think it's good that you call out all the bad stuff people do.

With Regards
Natalie L.

(I will admit, my finger did hover over the delete button because I thought it was another WE MUST DEFEND ALEX AND THE WEED email - Cj)

Oh boy! Doesn't this sound like fun?!


Don't panic. The closure is happening on a weekend.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

I have resurrected my BBM (now available for Android and iPhone)

I realize that some of you don't have unlimited text and picture messaging and there have been times where prime moments of comedy gold have been lost because of this.

Well, weep no more my friends!

Add me to your BBM! PIN 7BB936E0

Now us Apple and Android folks can communicate freely with each other.

I always had unlimited picture and text messaging because that's just how I roll, but I've learned that for picture messaging, some of you have to pay.

No more excuses! Load it up.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

You know you want it ...


It's a good piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie...
Has lots of pumpkin...
What rhymes with pumpkin?
Hey, yay, yay, yay, yay, yaaaaay !

Dedicated to KT
Baked by Yours Truly

I'm addicted.