Confession

What the hell, I'll just put this out here.

For the past 15 years, I've been battling an addiction. A rather strange and bizarre addiction.

I'm addicted to nasal spray.

That's right. I'm addicted to the stuff you snort up your nose when you have a cold. It started shortly before I got married. I got really sick. My asthma was out of control. I was in the hospital and on all kinds of medication. When I was well enough to go to back to work, I noticed that whenever I had to use my puffers, I would get extremely congested. I could not breathe out of my nose at all.  A co-worker suggested I try Afrin. So I went out and got some at Shoppers Drug Mart that same day. I was hooked instantly.

I hoard nasal sprays. I have them in drawers, in bags, at work, in my nightstand, in the car and in my purse. I even have one stashed at my parents' house.

About two weeks ago, I sat down and calculated how much this dependency (which my doctor calls it and who blames it on environmental allergies) has cost me. In the past 15 years, I've spent roughly $5300 on over-the-counter nasal sprays. My current weapon of choice is Claritin Allergy. I've tried all the prescription steroid-based ones. None of them worked.

In 2008, I managed to quit cold turkey and it took three weeks of absolute fucking hell and next to no sleep, but I did it. I managed to go three days without using anything. Mind you, one nostril was completely clogged, but I could breathe freely out of the other ... and then I got sick with a bad cold. In less than 24 hours, I was right back where I started.

Three weeks ago, I was diagnosed with a severe sinus infection. The walk-in doctor was intrigued by my addiction and shocked I didn't have any health complications such as liver damage. As far as I know, and my family doctor has been monitoring me, I don't have any side effects - yet. This walk-in doctor suggested I consider using sinus tablets with pseudophedrine and try again to beat my dependency on nasal sprays.

This morning I am proud to admit to the world that I spent the entire night, and slept, not taking a "hit". The last time I've taken a "hit" was around 7:30 pm last night.

It's still early. I have to get through today. The struggle is real.