Do you see the time?
I keep my phone near my bed because we don't have a landline installed in the house. I want to be reachable should any of my family members need me, which is why I answered this call very early this morning.
My heart immediately began to race because a phone ringing at that hour only means bad news (or a wrong number, but who gets a wrong number at 2:54 am)?
I answered and after saying "hello" three times - when I didn't get a response the first time - I had visions of my mom wandering down a hospital corridor using a borrowed cell phone, unable to speak because she's so upset (seriously, I have the most overactive imagination at 2:54 am).
Finally this male voice says, "Do you know I can't get a GO bus on (muffled) (inaudible)?"
"Excuse me," I say. "What?! It's almost three A.M. Are you high?" As it turns out, I don't think this was much of a stretch on my part.
"I didn't know who else to call (muffled) closed and like, I found you on Google and ... (inaudible) (muffled) (sudden loud whirring sound, like a drill).
"Are you putting up drywall or something?" I ask this person. Seriously, was this guy renovating his basement on an all-nighter and then decided to take a break and just call me?
"No, I'm on (inaudible) (static) so then I was like how do I find the hole (static)?"
Hole? I'm wide awake now.
"Why do you need a hole?" I ask.
"For the bus," he says.
"You need a hole for the bus?" I asked all matter of fact. This is the part where if this was a movie, and I smoked, I'd sit up straight in bed and reach for a cigarette.
"Yeah, so the bus can go through it," he says. This was then punctuated by what sounded like sirens. The kind of sirens that go off when you rob a bank.
"Why would a bus need to go through a hole?" I ask. This is the part where if this was a movie, I'd be lighting the cigarette and roaming aimlessly around my bedroom searching for an ashtray.
"Because I have to get past the lake!" He yells.
"Sounds like you need a boat. Not a bus," I muse. I now have my laptop open and I'm checking my site logs to see who is on the site right at that moment or accessed it in the past 10 minutes so I can pinpoint some kind of location for this guy (Oh look, a comment, I'll read this why this guy keeps ranting about the lake being in the way of the hole).
"... That's why I said we should use dynamite... " says the guy.
"Pardon," I say since I missed the first part because I was writing a comment.
And then with no warning, the line went dead. He didn't call back and I tried to go back to sleep.
All I could take away from this was that he must have been in Burlington (my site stats yielded nothing tangible) and was looking for GO Transit to make a tunnel to Union Station. Or he was high, missed the last bus, and called me because I have a website. So surely, I can help.
