Packed train?! Why not sit on the toilet?

Gross, but resourceful.

Photo via @Jeremy32414144 on Twitter

Between January 2010 and Oct. 23, 2017, there were 85 fatalities involving GO trains, according to statistics provided by Metrolinx

Simcoe.com asked Metrolinx for the data and conducted an interview with its head of Transit Security.

When a fatal incident occurs, there is immediate concern for commuters and the victim's family, but these collisions also take a toll on the train engineers and emergency responders. There are usually two workers at the front of the engine. After the crash, they are quickly joined at the site by police, paramedics, rail special constables and other emergency responders.

READ MORE

List of municipalities where a fatality has occurred (as of Oct. 25, 2017)*:

Toronto — 32
Mississauga — 15
Oakville — 8
Burlington — 5
Newmarket — 4
Richmond Hill, Innisfil — 3 each
Brampton — 2
Kitchener, Whitby, Guelph, Pickering, Georgetown, Aurora, Holland Landing, Stouffville, Scarborough, Ajax, Hamilton, Barrie and East Gwillimbury — 1 each

* Source: https://www.simcoe.com/news-story/7936336-track-tragedy-how-85-go-train-fatalities-since-2010-took-a-toll-on-metrolinx-staff/

You can't top this. No one can

Can't find a seat on the #gotrain?
Take your shoes off, tie your jacket thru the bars on the stairs and make a goddamn hammock!#gotransit https://t.co/Jy8VDYJyM0

— Cindy (Cj) Smith - GO Commuter Extraordinaire (@ThisCrazyTrain) November 27, 2017

The hell was that this morning?!

I was seated on the 7:03 Oshawa to Untion train at about 6:53 am when I got the first tweet that something bad was happening just outside of Guildwood GO station. We were told we could expect delays of up to 10 minutes due to a malfunctioning signal - the same signal system we were told three years ago was due for an upgrade.

That worked out well, didn't it? What the hell do we pay fare increases for? Isn't it for system improvements?!

Ten minutes was generous. I rolled into work at 9:18 am, one hour and 18 minutes later than I usually arrive. Thankfully I am up to date with my tasks, otherwise, I'd be staying an extra hour to make up the time.

All of the trains affected this morning by the signal mess qualify for the Go Transit service guarantee. I'd give it a couple of days before trying. The information is entered manually and a lot of trains were affected.

By the way, does the acronym for the title of this web page stand for "Fucking GO System"? Seems appropriate.

So back in October Bombardier staff delayed an LSW GO train to make a coffee run

@GOtransit still investigating? #nosafety 1 engineer driving & 2nd goes for #coffeebreak..@Bombardier @Teamsters .why are you quiet? pic.twitter.com/wbK1NTLwQS

— RjE (@citoyendumond10) October 19, 2017

it never stops @GOtransit #coffeebreak still delaying the 7.43 Union 2 Alder at Oakville Station @CP24 @globalnewsto @MetroNewsCanada pic.twitter.com/FxpVo2LbqM

— RjE (@citoyendumond10) October 18, 2017

Just because the train is moving away from Union is not an excuse. Commuters heading out of the city are entitled to a properly kept schedule. Is this normal? I should hope not.

No, no, no and hell no - but don't panic! It's an error on Presto's part. Card cancellations sent in error (who built this piece of crap?)

Anyone else get an email from @PRESTOcard saying their card was cancelled? I did not request this. I'm checking in with Presto to find out what's happening. I did have to have my card reset this morning due to last night's issue. pic.twitter.com/46bAvQ3RJ1

— Cindy (Cj) Smith - GO Commuter Extraordinaire (@ThisCrazyTrain) November 17, 2017

Hi! How are you?

It's not that there isn't anything to report (other than a HUGE Presto card mess last night that made for an annoying commute this morning for those of us who could not tap last night and then had to line up at stations to have our cards reset this morning) because there is, I've just been a lazy blogger. As I've mentioned before, Twitter now trumps the website and I forget to blog.

But hey, wanna know what I've learned recently? That six years later, now that I'm driving again, people still have no idea how to park properly. I call every parking donkey out for his or her shit if I happen to encounter one. How hard is it to park straight between two lines? In fact, if you were truly skilled, you wouldn't need lines to be able to accurately measure a polite and courteous distance between your car and one next to you. There is so much dumb at the Oshawa GO station lot, I don't know where to start.

So ya, hi, how are ya? Hope you're well. And I miss you, too.

Welp, this is depressing

$128 Million contract awarded for #Cooksville @GOtransit redevelopment. https://t.co/92bTBaZG79 #Toronto #transit #GTHA pic.twitter.com/MkWUbnTE4S

— UrbanToronto (@Urban_Toronto) November 8, 2017

MEANWHILE... IN COURTICE/BOWMANVILLE...

Just tell yourself it's a black wasp and all is right in the world

Presented without comment

You’re looking right at it! #EtiquetteFail @GOtransit pic.twitter.com/3YYTOybcza

— Steven Siscos (@StevenSiscos) 2 November 2017

Errr... I haven't seen a GO train look like that inside

Our Streetsville Centre Townhomes are steps from the GO Train providing an easy commute into the city and back home. Leave the traffic behind and escape to paradise. Register today to claim your home in Streetsville Centre: http://ow.ly/6K8m30g4n6h #GTA #GoTransit #realestate #townhomes #mississauga

A post shared by Dunpar Homes (@dunparhomes) on Oct 26, 2017 at 2:12pm PDT

Interesting bicycle you have there

One of these things don't belong here at #Brampton @GOtransit. pic.twitter.com/Beiv77otmX

— Kevin Hauntgomery 🎃 (@kemosite) October 27, 2017

Worst seats. Ever

And everything just slides right off them... vomit, beer ... passengers wearing polyester-blend dress pants https://t.co/DMlMfXLTOa

— CJ Smith (@ThisCrazyTrain) October 31, 2017

The stupidity is incredible. The recklessness even more so

From News Talk 1290 CJBK's Facebook page

We had a listener send us in a video from what's happening on the 401 between Cambridge and Woodstock today.
"If anyone plans on heading east there are people driving the wrong way on the highway to avoid traffic between Cambridge and Woodstock! Might want to change plans​
As you can see in the video, it wasn't just people doing u-turns, people were doing 3-point turns on the highway... in front of transport trucks. Then, they had to get off the road somehow, so they went up the on ramps."

Metrolinx inconveniences hundreds of customers for film shoot

Sent by email

Clarkson GO Station Passengers: On Wednesday, November 1 from 7 a.m. to 9 p.m., there will be a film crew using the parking garage at your station and the 5th floor and a portion of the 4th floor will be closed. As well, approximately 20 parking spaces outside the parking structure will be used for equipment. Please allow extra time to find parking at your station. We thank you for your patience. ________________________________________________

Pardon? How about everyone getting on at Clarkson gets a free GO train ride to work that morning?

How much is Metrolinx being paid?

Putting it out there, looking to see what comes back

I grew up with a sister with special needs. My parents treated her very differently than myself and my two other siblings. We were punished. There were always consequences for our actions. However, with my sister, she was never punished and never suffered consequences. Despite the meltdowns, stealing food, lying, hitting, disobeying and not listening, she was still ferried to her numerous social activities, allowed to watch television and leave the house to play in the school yard.

The rest of us were sent to bed without dinner, denied treats, forbidden from playing with friends, going to the park, watching television, had Walkmans taken away, lost the privilege to attend birthday parties and only in extreme cases, were met with a slap on the butt. 

Now I am the parent of an only child with special needs (autism spectrum disorder and anxiety). My daughter is a good kid. She doesn't act out, doesn't scream, or display anger. She doesn't talk back or argue. She does what she's told (or so I thought) but just yesterday, I learned she'd been lying to me, to her father and to her grade 7 teacher about schoolwork. Three assignments had not been turned in, two of them being ones she had told her father and I she had completed and submitted.

After the phone call and subsequent emails back and forth with her teacher, I was furious, but most of all I was really, really, really disappointed.  When I got home, I went up to her room to talk to her. I told her how upset I was that she had lied to me, to her dad and to her teacher. I told her it was unacceptable. Then I told her that she would not be trick or treating on Halloween (this practically broke my heart because my kid LIVES for Halloween). I also said that despite today being a PA Day, the two assignments she lied about completing and handing in were to be done in the next two hours along with an email to her teacher about the status of the third assignment, which is due Monday. Then I left her room to compose myself and hash out my feelings with her dad in the kitchen (who is 100% supportive of the punishment handed out). 

She completed her assignments within an hour and with my help, uploaded them both to her teacher's Google Classroom account and then, my daughter explained to me, while struggling to maintain her composure, why she lied to me. She said she was scared to admit she didn't understand the work and was embarrassed to ask for help. I told her that it was my job as her mother to help her. She knows this?! I couldn't decide if she was bullshitting me or telling me the truth. The kid does struggle with communication. She was probably being sincere, but it still sounded ludicrous.

She did not bring up Halloween but I do know that after I left her room, she bawled her eyes out because I could hear her from downstairs. When her dad went up to eventually talk to her, she was inconsolable. I don't know what he said to her (I didn't want to know) but when he came down, he said he'd never seen her like that.

And so, here it is, today, and I'm no longer mad or angry. Instead, I feel shitty. I also have a much better understanding why my parents were so soft on my sister - they felt sorry for her because she was different and short-changed from doing so many things that myself and my sisters could do that they didn't want to "hurt" her despite bad behaviour. I'm not saying I feel sorry for my kid, but her life won't be like mine and she does have it harder because of her disabilities.

Interested in hearing what some of you think.

Thanks 

People don't commit suicide by train to purposely mess up your day, nor do they think to contact GO Transit and give a heads-up

On Monday, a young man jumped in front of a GO train on the Barrie line. This resulted in a delay of just under three hours after service was suspended. On Tuesday, there was another fatality on the Lakeshore East line. The delay was just under two hours after service was suspended.

Hundreds of passengers went wild on Twitter, unhappy to try to find alternate ways to work, or having been stranded in parking lots, or, being left to wait on platforms. In regards to the Lakeshore East fatality, I felt GO Transit did a great job keeping me informed. I was getting texts constantly, updated emails and Twitter notifications in real time. I wound up being 10 minutes late for work. One person asked why GO can't plan for suicides better.

I'm not even going to try to explain how mental illness or depression works, but I think it is very obvious that GO will never know when someone is planning to jump in front of a train. Nor is it fair to expect a regional transit agency to have hundreds of buses on stand-by near every single station to immediately be put into service when trains fail to run. Who pays for that? I sure don't want to.

Man, some of y'all get all up and angry in your grams

The White Trash Trifecta! Feet up, being loud on the phone and has his shit on a seat. Human garbage. #etiquettefail #trash #GO #GOttansit #GOtrain #lakeshorewest #scum

A post shared by dukeofwentworth (@dukeofwentworth) on Oct 18, 2017 at 2:51pm PDT

When you have Metrolinx as a neighbour - you have the neighbour from hell

Submitted by Anonymous

Exclusive to This Crazy Train

Wait, what, the aliens... are... coming?!

I open my eyes to a Close Encounters-esque light show streaming through my bedroom black-out blinds. The beep-beep-beep of a large machine in reverse is pummeling my temples and - what’s this?

My house is shaking.

What the f…?

I roll over to check the time.

It’s 1:00 am.

I squint at my wife – she’s asleep. But…how? Oh yes, she’s drunk.

Lucky you lady.

I get up and push back the curtains. There’s nothing on the street. I live downtown - right downtown. TCT readers travelling along Lakeshore East will know my house because you can look into my back bedroom – every back bedroom on the street in fact - as you roll on by. Maybe you saw me sifting through my laundry at 7am last Monday? A paunchy middle-aged white guy…? Butt naked? Yeah, that was me.

Downtown living can be noisy, but this commotion, at this time of the morning, was something else.

I look out of my front window, up and down the street.

Beep-beep-shake…

Christ, everyone must be awake.

Turns out they were. The guy at number 67 was running around counting his kids and fumbling for the phone. The couple at 45 tried to find their pets who were hissing and cowering under the bed.

All along the street lights flicked on, kids held out their arms for a cuddle, curtains were drawn.

Beep! Rattle..Shake…

Man this is Armageddon…Well there is a madman in the White House…it was just a matter of time.

I stumble out of my room and peer out of the back bedroom window.

Holy Christ….

This is the view that greeted me:

(Run video!)

Spielberg’s spaceship is running along the train track, screeching, clanking and beeping.

Yikes this girl has claws! I can see the drill bit fingers grinding into the earth. Everywhere there are - lights. Blinding white tractor beams poking through the branches of the trees and circling the sky.

Help!

There’s a halo of light around the whole machine, it’s like a ghost train.

But - who am I gonna call?

A few weeks ago, after Metrolinx sent us a fancy slide show showing our laneway with the trees cropped down and a shiny new track running 13 feet closer to our homes (RER is coming - hooray!), we were given a single-point of contact. ‘Michael will address all your noise concerns’ they told us. ‘Call him 24/7.’

So I did. But Michael wasn’t available 24/7, just his voice mail was. I left him a message and got a reply - two days later.

‘The work you noticed…is part of our ongoing project in the corridor to access and investigate underground utilities’ Michael explained, after apologizing for shaking my house, ‘I sent out the attached construction notice for this work on September 20^th.’

Uh, no you didn’t.

‘I’ve also been working with the project team and members of your surrounding community through the duration of this project to mitigate as much disruption as possible’

Um, no you haven’t.

‘This work is now completed and the entire project will be finishing up tonight’

Er, no, it won’t.

Two days later the spaceship was back. This time my wife wasn’t drunk. She woke up and got mightily upset.

‘What the f*** is wrong with these people?’ she screamed, smacking me with her pillow, ‘Don’t they know we need to sleep?’

Over the course of 5 days this week I’ve amassed about 20 hours of sleep. That’s not nearly enough. Two nights were particularly bad with only 2-3 hours to be had.

I don’t know about you but I can’t function properly when I’m sleep deprived. I can’t drive, I can’t work, I can’t exercise.  

The track work behind my street has been going on for a week and, we’ve just learned through another update from Michael, that we have another week to go. No notices were e-mailed to my neighbours to tell us that our houses are going to be rattled and our kids traumatized, no mail drop was completed.

And there were no neighbourhood consultations.

Perhaps Michael at Metrolinx was referring to discussions with the Co-op at the bottom of the street. Apparently a week prior to my alien out-of-body experience, these poor saps were turfed out of bed at 10pm to face their very own first contact. Rumour has it that insults were hurled from the laneway, and, at one point, the contractor even stopped to listen, before firing up his engine and resuming his deep earth exploration.

But this doesn’t matter. What matters is that, when you have Metrolinx as a neighbour - you have the neighbour from hell. You have Bo the hippy, whose weed wafts through your vents at all hours of the day. You have Mike the metal head, who thinks ‘loud’ is 11 to the power of 11 and anything less is fine, so what are you complaining about? And you have Tim and Shelley, who didn’t realize that was your tree, oh sorry, but not to worry we’re building a fence anyway, 20 feet high! Do you want to chip in?

I could take up the entire TCT hard drive telling you about my Metrolinx ‘consultations’ (Short version: It works like this: They talk – you listen. You complain – they don’t listen).

Do you ever wonder why, when you roll past the Caroline Coop just west of Parliament, half the embankment is treed and the other half bushes? Well that’s Metrolinx. And do you ever think, as you watch the bent-over white bloke scrabbling around for his undies, what it must be like to live that close to the tracks? Surely they can’t put them any closer? Uh, yeah, they can.

Alas, this story doesn’t even scratch the surface of what my street, and countless other GTA residents who have the pleasure of calling Metrolinx a neighbour, have to deal with on a regular basis (http://www.toronto.ca/legdocs/mmis/2009/cc/bgrd/backgroundfile-22617.pdf). Look at the LRT complaints along Eglinton (http://toronto.citynews.ca/2017/04/05/metrolinx-contractor-apologizes-for-performing-overnight-eglinton-lrt-work-without-permit/). Look what Weston folks had to deal with during the UP construction (https://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2013/08/16/metrolinx_construction_leaves_a_bad_taste_in_weston.html) (https://globalnews.ca/news/2001758/residents-frustrated-over-union-pearson-express-construction-noise-damage/). Looking at all these incidents it seems that Metrolinx’ approach to rail operations, maintenance and expansion is: Do it first, apologize later (maybe, if we get caught).

‘Engaging in Community Consultation’ is interpreted as sending out volumous reports (our street has just received a several thousand page RER noise/vibration study dossier, and been given all of 30 days to review it) and coordinating a cacophony of mass confusion (I was actually told I asked the wrong question by one rep when I complained that he’d given me the wrong answer!) until the clock winds down.

Welcome to my backyard TCT. Perhaps, next time you see me scrambling in the laundry, you could give me a friendly wave. God knows I need it.

Oshawa's new station opens Monday - and we get landscaping by mid-2018 guys!

By email from GO Transit Oshawa GO Customers: We have good news to share! Your new station building will be ready for your Monday morning commute, giving you more convenient access to GO and VIA amenities including bigger washrooms and waiting areas. We've also made improvements to the Kiss & Ride and parking lot, so that it's easier for you to get in and out of the station whether you're walking or driving. By mid-2018 we'll finish demolishing the old station building, adding a canopy connecting the new building with the VIA platforms and the VIA pedestrian bridge, as well as landscaping.