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Thursday, September 8, 2011

Imma take you out, you knitting psycho

Some of you may remember this jackrabbit, departure door donkey (DDD) from a previous post.

Be sure to get to know your TCT memes!

DDD(s) aka TripleD(s): People who wait on the departure platform to board trains before you while you wait on the actual designated platform. You know, these people (see pic). The ones standing on Platform 11 while people on Platform 12 obediently wait for the 5:20 LSE.

I got to ride with jackrabbit DDD again last night. She didn't recognize me. Most people who are filled with such a sense of entitlement often fail to realize there is a world outside of themselves. I also like to call her GO Commuter Bitch From Hell or GCBFH.

GCBFH was in the process of telling the whole train, regardless of whether anyone wanted to listen, how the doors didn't open on Platform 11. How she had to walk down and board on 12 (the platform the sign displayed). How GO goes out of its way to inconvenience its customers. How GO cancels trains, or puts trains out of service for no reason other than to piss off people who just got on the train and were all settled in... How the CSAs don't care about customer service on the express trains, or fail to mention which trains are express and on, and on, and on ...

I contemplated moving but figured I'd ride it out to see what psychotic tendencies she'd display tonight.

She did not fail to disappoint.

Our coach was one of the older models. The ones with the vinyl seats and barely any shocks left. We rocked and swayed our way along the LSE. GCBFH and her friend pulled out some knitting.

As the train swayed, GCBFH begin to cuss aloud at the GO conductor for his failure to "keep the train straight" and complained that it was impossible for her to concentrate on her knitting. With every shake, she'd suck in her breath and mutter.

As we pulled into Pickering, the train braked, because well, that's how it stops and she lost her mind exclaiming, "Does he have to brake so hard?"

After we pulled out of Pickering, two GO Constables showed up asking to check tickets. This woman was almost crying in frustration that her knitting wasn't going as planned. She was also incredibly rude to the GO Constable and actually muttered, loud enough for those of us near her to hear: "Don't you people have better things to do?" Or something to that affect. I began tapping my Presto card loudly against the side of my seat in annoyance.

She gives me this bitch look and asks me, just flat out - no excuse me - how my Presto card knows I paid the right fare. I told you bitch was crazy! I really didn't want to get into a Presto discussion with her. So I just shrugged and resumed tweeting about her on Twitter but she wouldn't let it go.

She asks me again, how the card knows I get on Union and get off at Oshawa. I did give her a brief explanation about tapping on and setting default trips but then her friend spoke up and told her the Presto reader used to check cards checks the fare. But GCBFH wasn't letting it go. "So what if you get off at Ajax but then decide to get off at Oshawa but your card is set for Ajax? How do they know that you're not getting off at Ajax?" This is where I'll give her credit. Even I couldn't answer that.

However, I wanted nothing more of this Presto talk so I resumed my tweeting and uploaded a photo of her knitting.

Now, being in my Twitter bubble, I hadn't quite tuned into the woman sitting a few quads away from me laughing at her iPhone. Visit my Twitter feed for more on this story.

9 comments:

Zao_89 said...

Oshawa is further than Ajax right (don't know my east end of the GTA that well)? So I'd assume it's the same as buying any other type of fare for Ajax and taking it to Oshawa - you can do it of course, but nobody will know unless the ticket checkers come after Ajax.

Bicky said...

Good Lord, CJ... you really do attract the crazies. Well you can't say your commute is ever dull.

Fran said...

CJ has the best stories. God love ya lady. You make my day.

Peter said...

And you didn't stab in her the leg with her knitting needle? Good on you CJ. Glad to see you're working on your anger management!

Anonymous said...

She looks like she can take you.

Squiggles said...

I never understood why people bring knitting onto public transportation. That is something to be done, at home, on the couch watching stupid TV.

But still, I am amazed that this woman even has "friends" with all her various idiosyncracies. And bad temper. And the annoyance she causes EVERY one around her.

lswgirl13 said...

I'm curious as to who would actually employ this "lovely" woman???

Svej said...

Wow. Stupid and bitchy, terrible person. Maybe it was Joanne!

C.J. Smith said...

Having taken the 6:43 pm LSE again tonight, I've learned this is her regular train. She didn't fail to put on a show. So, if you're bored, working late - whatevs ... Hop on the first car. She's waiting for you.