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Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Welcome aboard, students

Hi.
I see you've started university. Ryerson, is it?
That's awesome.
Judging by your textbooks all on the topic of psychology, I take it that's what you're studying.
How interesting.
Let's talk about human behaviour, shall we? Specifically, yours. On the train.
When boarding at the beginning/end of a line, such as Oshawa, where the train sits for a matter of minutes while the engineers conduct brake checks and prepare the train to run in the opposite direction, there are usually a number of seats available. In fact, the train looks absolutely spacious, doesn't it?
But guess what? All that space is not for you.
Sorry.
When you board, you get one seat. ONE. Not a seat for your feet. Not another seat for your jacket and not another seat for your backpack and skateboard.
I also want to point out that slouching in your seat with your Converse sneakers resting on the backrest of the seat opposite you is not only bad for your posture, it's just downright rude.
I told you that I would describe, in great detail on my website, why you're an inconsiderate jerk and I sure hope you heard the address right and pay this site a visit today.
You were very upset when I asked you, as we pulled into Whitby, to collect your shit and stuff it under your seat and onto your lap.
Your sense of entitlement may work on your parents, but it doesn't fly with me. You may be studying psychology but you definitely need a lesson in manners.
When you took your feet off the seat opposite you, you left two visible white footprints that I asked you to dust off. When you didn't, I did it for you. Yep, this definitely drew attention and you hated every second of it. Good.
By the time the train arrived at Ajax, you tried in vain to keep the seat next to you filled with your things until a woman, a very pregnant woman, asked you to move your stuff. You huffed and you puffed. You sighed audibly and made a big dramatic production about where to put your skateboard and doing a great job of looking extremely inconvenienced.
Since you've been riding the train for almost a week now, you should have clued in that it's not your personal living room. People boarding have every right to expect a seat.
At Union, you decided to follow me down into the Concourse where you confronted me, asking me what my problem was.
OH MY GOD. WHO RAISED YOU?
You told me I needed to mind my own business and asked me why I give a fuck about what you do?
This coming from a psychology student.
Oy.
I hope you dropped by. You need a reality check, son. You share the space on the train. It's not  yours. You need to be courteous, polite and respectful of other riders.
If you can't grasp this concept, perhaps you should skateboard to school everyday and skip the train.

6 comments:

Bicky said...

For. The. Win!

Squiggles said...

Yes! I hope this poor excuse of a human being reads this.

I was off last week. It was a surprise today that the train was packed. With other fine examples of human beings. And Union was a zoo. If I didn't need my morning coffee, I would so walk outside to avoid that mess.

For some reason, it seems worse this year than in the past. Maybe it is because I didn't have last week to adjust?

MATT said...

CJ for the win!

Skin Man said...

Seriously, what a douche! I wish there was away to record this behavour and share it with said douche's family....sort of like that older women who was verbally assaulted by those 12 y/o's on the school bus and hit the $700K jackpot.

Hey CJ keep this up and perhaps we can pass a hat to pay you $700K. Would you patrol the trains for a year teaching these losers manners?

Many thanks you brave lady!

C.J. Smith said...

I saw him again this morning and when he saw me, he stuffed his backpack under his seat (it had been beside him) and pretended to be asleep.
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

Anonymous said...

What an f'n douche. I hope he reads this, and the comments. If he were my kid I would be so embarrassed. That a-hole needs to grow up and learn some manners.