Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Y'all don't need phones. What you do need - is Jesus.

There is a man next to me on the train who interrupted my game of Candy Crush (I only need 1 more jelly!) to tell me I should put down my phone and learn the word of God. He had this small card he tried to give me and I shoo'd it away, but not before I caught the name of the congregation - Coventry Baptist Church.

He's a long way from home according to Google.

He tried to woo me with tales of how he found Jesus and all the good fortune that brought him, but I interrupted him and politely told him the Quiet Zone was in effect. I pointed to the sign.

He apologized and wished me well.

At Whitby it got awkward because when he struck up a conversation with the woman who sat down across from him, she politely informed him she was Jesus.

He said, "Oh, you're Jewish!" And she says, "No, I'm Jesus." She then pulls out her book and starts reading.

Flustered, he puts the pamphlet he was about to give her back in his bag.

He looks so sad.


Anonymous said...

You think he'd be ecstatic? The poor guy's waiting his whole life for the second coming and when she finally arrives (the second coming's going to be a woman right?) he just ignores her...

C.J. Smith said...

I know!!! And I'm confused because he clearly said he found Jesus.

Anonymous said...


outburst said...

Hilarious. Thanks for sharing.
Any tips on how to manage the overagressive teenage canvassers on the sidewalk?

C.J. Smith said...

You mean the i am a girl people?
That's EASY.
Tell them you're signed up and already getting letters and throw them a high-five.