Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Because I know food/coffee/automation is important for some of you

Somewhere around Eglinton my stomach began howling (I got auto-corrected to "howling" from "growling" on my phone so it's staying).

I was like, fine, I'll hit a Starbucks® on the way to the office seeing as this morning was a clusterbomb and I didn't have my usual bowl of cardboard and Tassimo® Gastown Grind coffee.

When I came down the stairs in the York Concourse at Union Station, I was greeted by the new McCafe® food service outlet and its shiny self-serve kiosks. Oh yes please! I love McDonalds® coffee.

I whipped through the order screen, picked an eveything bagel, toasted, with Philadelphia® cream cheese. I selected one Splenda@ in my coffee and two cream. Sorry, trolls-who-think-I-get-paid-to-advertise, I didn't get the brand name of the cream. There goes my cheque.

The total time to receive my food and beverage, from when I tapped my credit card and got the receipt, was three minutes until my order number was called. That's fast.

When I was a teenager, I worked part time as a cashier for both Dominion and Loblaws®. We used to have scanning and bagging tests (Dominion was hardcore about this). My average time for a 40 item order with 10 items requiring the scale and a code was eight minutes. The old-timers (or lifers as us part-timers called them) were even faster, clocking in at six minutes. Accuracy was 99%. I always screwed up on parsley vs. any other herb. When I saw those green leafy things coming down the belt, I would start to sweat. Everything was parsley to me. Since all the herbs were priced at 79 cents a bunch (this was the early 90s) I used to ring everything in as parsley. Later I learned I was the reason why our Loblaws location had the largest section for parsley, and why no one could ever find dill or cilantro. I got schooled in the back office about the importance of inventory control and my head cashier printed out this poster for me to use so I would get the herbs right. It became a HUGE inside joke.

Here's a pic of my food order. It would have been nice if my bagel had been sliced, but that would have required someone sacrificing their personal best of three minutes. I totally get it.


Yolanda B Cool said...


You really should get paid.

Unknown said...

Surely you thought about buying a Coca Cola® or PEPSI® while you were standing around? Or looked across the concourse and saw a NIKE® store? You should be rich by now ;)

gmcnewlook said...

you got forgot to add "i took these with my Samsung Galaxy Note (i cant recall which one you said you had) Phone...."

C.J. Smith said...

Oh man. There goes another cheque!

Unknown said...

dont worry you are not the only one. They do not cut the bagels ever! i get a bagel every morning at this same mcafe in the york concorse and they never cut it. i have to ask to have it sliced in half otherwise it just doesn't happen. its got nothing to do with there time i just doubt they seriously thought somone would ocmplain about the smallest bagel int he world not being cut in half as if it was too big to handle... lmfao you must have real small hands

C.J. Smith said...

When I was small my dad had this thing about cleaning out floor drains. He took advantage of my small hands to retrieve all the toys we threw down the drain to see if any of them would make their way up to a toilet. Then one day things didn't work out as planned. Three firefighters, a jackhammer and a plumber later, I was free to live out the rest of my life in search of cut bagels.