Monday, July 28, 2014

Presented without comment


Squiggles said...

Well, the commute can be pretty nutty, so this does make sense.

Bicky said...

The squirrels are plentiful at Whitby. I saw one last week scaling the outside wall of the parking garage. He was like Spidey-Squirrel!

Jules said...

that reminded me of a humorous story in the Star I read many years ago (not sure if this is too long to post CJ) :

Are things a bit squirrelly on GO?
January 19, 2007
A Notice To Our Passengers From GO Transit:
A belated Happy New Year to all of you who depend on GO trains and buses every day to get you to and from work. We here at GO had intended to send you a Happy New Year's message sooner, but the people here at head office who are in charge of seasonal greetings all booked off sick the other day.
Ha ha! A little GO humour there to get your day off on the right foot.
The purpose of this new, regular newsletter is to bring you up to speed on the progress that is being made in dealing with certain service issues you may have noticed in recent weeks. Well, actually, recent months, if you want to get all picky about it.
We want you to know we're working diligently to deal with these problems – technical as well as labour – and hope you will bear with us during this period of system upgrading.
In this first newsletter we want to first offer our apologies for some of the problems in the past week, and explain what was behind them:

• The 17:43 out of Union Station on the Lakeshore West line was delayed coming in to the Clarkson station because of an indecisive squirrel. He looked as if he was going to cross the track so the train was slowed, then he seemed to change his mind and head back into the bushes, at which point the train began to resume speed, but then he darted back as if he was going to cross, so the train was slowed once again, and finally brought to a full stop while the crew waited to see what the squirrel was going to do. (After an investigation, it was suggested that, in future, the crew spend less time trying to teach the squirrel to retrieve nuts from their shirt pockets.)

• The derailment of a grain car on a spur outside Surrey, B.C., on Wednesday morning forced the cancellation of the 7:30 out of Richmond Hill. This might sound odd to those who do not work in the railway business, but all these rail lines are, ultimately, connected in a "six degrees" kind of way, so you can't be too careful.

• A train was held up at the Rouge Hill station Thursday morning while Ned, the engineer, ran over to a Starbucks for a latte. There was a huge lineup, and the lady right before him was having a fit that the foam on her cappuccino was not "airy" enough. Some people can be so fussy and inconsiderate, and for her thoughtlessness we apologize unreservedly.

• An investigation into a frozen switch in the Mimico yard, which delayed a standing-room only Hamilton train bound for Union Station for two and a half days, has determined that someone dumped onto it the remains of some ice from a McDonald's soft drink cup. We would like to thank everyone on this train for their patience, and will not be proceeding with any vandalism charges against those who ate portions of the blue seat cushions out of desperation.

• On Wednesday evening, while waiting for a signal to turn green near Aurora, the crew jumped out, ran around the train, then hopped back on, just to see if they could do it before the light turned.

• A Thursday evening train heading from Union to Pickering on the Lakeshore East line was delayed at Guildwood while waiting for the track to clear. Its path was blocked by a Union-bound GO train from the Richmond Hill line, which had somehow lost its way and had been travelling all over southern Ontario and beyond since mid-November. If you were a passenger on this train, even though you were among the first GO train customers to see the Rockies, you will not have to pay extra.