Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Ever confronted a stranger on a train because what he or she was talking about made you mad?

Stacy Bias did and she wrote about the experience on and she described what it was like and how she felt, and it's pretty accurate. The way she felt afterward is the reason why many of us don't speak up - even if it's merely to ask someone to take his or her feet off the seat. But this was more, she was being bullied and she decided to take a stand, only it didn't go how she imagined.

Have a read: I Stood Up to a Fat-Shaming Bully on a Train Because I'm Tired of Fighting for the Right to Exist


Anonymous said...

Confrontation is like anything else - it takes practise. I like to speak up when I can but I'm still a novice and it rarely goes well. One thing you need to work out is: What's my objective here? A friend of mine confronted a litter bug and they apologized profusely.
It's a mostly losing proposition but I think more people should do it anyway - you never know right?

As for the article, I sympathize with the lady. It must have been a horrible experience. But it wasn't a very satisfying read. I would have liked to have known: What should she have done differently? What did she learn from the experience? What are some of the FAT versus anti-fat arguments? I didn't learn much from her article.

C.J. Smith said...

As an overweight person I don't embrace the fat acceptance movement because I don't feel proud of who I am but at the same time, I don't like being judged for my weight as I do enough of that myself.
Am I lazy - no. Did being lazy cause me to be overweight - no, but ignorance sure did.
Is it hard to lose 100 plus pounds and try to keep off any weight you managed to lose - yes. The struggle is real.
Personally, I don't care what size a person is - I never use that as a means to measure anyone's worth. If you're nice to me and you're generally a decent person, then I'm keen to be your friend. That's all I care about.

Squiggles said...

I did read the article. It was painful, there really was no point, no useful information given. She seems like a decent person, someone who is learning to pick her battles, but she doesn't have a cognizant argument.

I am a big girl, overweight. Some may even say obese. It is who I am, it has taken me a long time to realise that I am and will forever be a big girl. I have accepted that. My goal is to NOT get any bigger (and maybe get a little less). I do have some health issues that play into the weight gain, as well as a horrible habit of stress eating.

But, I will admit, I will not confront people who are demeaning to overweight people. The reason is simple: you cannot change someone's opinion on a single confrontation/ conversation. Obviously those people are not open to other points of view.

Heck, there are a lot of extremely health big people as there are extremely unhealthy thin people.

KM said...

When you judge based on weight you're judging a snap shot of that person. What if they've already lost 100+ lbs and are still losing? What if they have a disorder or are on medication that causes weight gain?? You never know what is going on in that persons life at that moment. It's the reason you shouldn't judge on anything!

Anonymous said...

I think some context may be needed. The UK, unlike Canada, is going through an obesity epidemic. As an ex-pat it's quite shocking to go home every few years and see the difference. Many of the obese folks are, unsurprisingly, poor. There is a lot of stigma, misunderstanding and frustration in the UK with the 'underclass' - generations of families who have never worked, who smoke, claim benefits and are generally lazy and often obese. The obesity is therefore seen as part of the same 'lazy' attitude and helps to compound ignorance about how people got to be overweight.

This has not come to Canada (yet) and I'd like to think we have a more accepting and intelligent attitude to different body shapes in general.

C.J. Smith said...

^ Good to know. Thank you.