Tuesday, January 21, 2014

We should all be proud of Lori! It can be scary to speak up

from: Lori M
to: ""
date: Sat, Jan 11, 2014 at 9:37 PM
subject: I am proud of me

This morning while waiting at the GO station I witnessed a man smoking near the outside stairs leading to the platform, so I walked to the stairwell, somewhat down the stairs, and turned to look at the no smoking sign saying out loud, "People smoking?! Meanwhile, there's a sign right there!!!" 

Then I walked back to where I was originally.

As the train was pulling in I noticed he was still smoking and then he bent to put out his cigarette out on one of the steps. As he did this I said, "You should have put that out hours ago, buddy." 

He looked at me like he was shocked to get called out. I didn't get onto the same car with him.

When I sat down I was shaking, I think I shocked myself because normally I just sit idle and stew internally. 

Oh, but what's this?

This "nice" man was on the train coming home. He had three seats of a quad taken up (body, bag, feet). 

I didn't say anything but did manage to get a photo without obscuring his face (baby steps, one day I will say,"Hey this is not okay") and did somewhat copy him to see if he'd notice and stop. I crossed my legs but didn't put them in a seat. I leaned back a little, kept my bag in my lap, and I was too lazy to get my paper out of my bag so I read the label on my coke bottle.

I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. I think he might have moved his legs, but when my stop was called and I got up to leave I said, and I hope he heard, "The man in the red hat is a jerk."


mike f. said...


my cheer for lori!!!

Squiggles said...


I know the shaky feeling. It never goes away. But as you say more, it becomes easier to deal with.

Practice makes perfect.

On a sidenote: the No Smoking signs for Ajax have been missing since they opened up the new platform. Have asked for them to come back, with no word.

Anonymous said...

yay for Lori! I am working on my fear of confrontation when it comes to these morons, almost always they are rude and arrogant, my problem is I let my anger get the better of me...sometimes the filter doesn't work when dealing with morons lol ; )

Anonymous said...

the last time i confronted someone, i was threatened and swore at...
their one else is complaining about us talking, you are making a scene...

Anonymous said...

Oh the shaky feelings of adrenaline!! A couple months back, the train made a sudden stop going into North York Centre. Someone had fallen or been pushed onto the tracks.
The quick reflexes of the driver prevented a fatality.
She got out and walked over to kill power. As she came back, some douche started heckling her about why she stopped etc. I saw tears leaking out her eyes and she struggled to keep in her emotions. After 2 minutes I got between the driver and the douche and called him out. After 5 minutes of arguing, Douchy called me a fat fuck and it took two other riders to hold me back from decking him.
He walked away after and people started clapping me on the back. I wanted to barf! A group of us walked up to Yonge and got a taxi to Finch Station. The 3 people in the back wouldn't let me pay my part of the fare. They said they were glad to see a real man.

C.J. Smith said...

Oh Allan, that story just broke me. First of all, you are better than that. But had you decked him, you have my number. I've got bail money in a sock. I would spring you.
Secondly, people like douchey douche don't deserve tears or frustration. They truly deserve a kick in the ass.
Third, I commend the driver. I applaud you for standing up for her and want to hug you for just being you.

Anonymous said...

CJ ... bail money in a sock!!! You made me LoL on the 190 Rocket ... and there were 25+ poeple looking at me.
Second I was born in ... well over 30 years ago, when chivalry and etiquette meant something. I could not let a douchbag abuse a woman like. I couldn't. Third... no one would have been a whitness for douche. They would have hidden and protected me... a few even emailed me afrer to say it. (They kept asking for ny email "incase ttc needed witnesses").
Fourth... she (the conductor) was amazing. Strong when needed but soft when needed. I wanted to hug her. But didn't just in case TTC pullee video etc.
LoL bail in a sock. I am still chuckling.

Anonymous said...

Allan you are amazing, good for you.

Anonymous said...

Stop ... I'm not amazing. I was just doing what I was taught - I was sticking up for a woman who was in duress. That's called charily. It's (as I was told as a kid) being a man. I SHOULD have done a citizens arrest on the other guy, for assaulting a TTC worker - yes, verbal assault. Instead it got down to insults and jock-ness "wanna go? C'mon ... let's go." sort of stuff.

I DO feel good that I let the worker get back to doing what was important - checking that the man who was on the tracks was ok, but I sometimes think I did the wrong thing by just insulting the guy. OH well it's the past - in the future, I'll try to do things differently, if something like that happens again.
IN the mean time, you'll know who I am, as I throw open doors all the way, so people behind me can get in. I wait for the ladies to get on, and when a dude gets on first, I say "oh, sure, ladies first!". I'm just being chivalrous. I'm just being ... me.

Anonymous said...

I think it's because there is so few people that do what you do that I am impressed by what you did, it really is sad but still grateful that people like you do exist.

Anonymous said...

I always - ALWAYS - have a problem with someone's feet on the seats. I don't, however, have a problem with someone putting their bags on the seat if the train is not at capacity or emptying because it's later on down the line. I think to have a problem with that is really being a bit of an anger ball yourselves.