Because no one should have to ask you to move your sh*t

I took this on the 17:53 LSE (today). She took her feet down when her quad filled (minus the bag on the seat) and only removed her bag when a person made her move it.

- Martina

---

A few years ago, during winter, this woman got on the train I was on and the only available seat was one where a young guy had propped his dirty wet boots up on. She pulled a few Kleenexes from her purse and made him clean the seat for her. He did and then promptly left the car, climbing over people to do so. If he was embarrassed, it was warranted. You're not at some campsite, sitting on a log and you're not the only person on the train, so have some respect.

Speaking of campsites ... It's time for some fire.


With marshmallows.

If I write a note, then it should be okay, right?

I took the 12:38pm (Oshawa-Union) train on Tuesday.

Sadly, I don't have a photo of the note as I didn't want to risk missing the train since I needed to be at work by 2pm, but here's what happened.

Parking at the Oshawa GO lot after the morning rush is almost impossible. I got there at 12:20pm and circled the lot a few times, slowly following people who got off the train (like a manic shopping mall rat before Christmas) looking for a spot. At the north end, near the trucking company, three spots opened up. I parked and walked towards the train.

As I got near the platform entrance, a man whipped passed me in a Jeep and pulled into a disabled parking spot. He got out and began ruffling through his bag. As I got closer, he was leaning over his hood and writing on a sheet of paper. Then he stuck the paper under his windshield wiper and climbed back into his car. I stopped and walked a little closer, pretending like I was lost, and tried in vain to read the paper. The time now was 12:35pm and he hadn't left his car yet.

I could just make out the words, "Sorry I parked here ... ".

As I headed towards the train, he eventually fell in step beside me. So I asked him, if there was a problem with his car as I saw him write a note, and he says, "Nope. Just needed a place to park and don't have time to look for one... " and he scurried past me onto the train.

A movie I don't want to see

I think I have Bryan's submission beat. I've been holding onto this beauty taken at Bramalea station for a while now...not 1, not 2 but 3 people all parked like morons (in the clearly marked No Parking area).

Dan (formerly) of Brampton.

This Crazy Train's Presto Chronicles, Chapter 5: BlackBerry lovin'

I discovered that I can load my Presto card using the Presto Card website on my Blackberry.

Even better, the Moneris backend payment system also worked and I was able to top up my card on the train last night as it chugged me home.

When it works, technology is awesome.

By request. Door donkeys

Original here

GO agrees with me (and thousands of others, too)

We don't care that you're coming back from the airport or Quebec City or were too cheap to take a cab, but during rush hour, none of us owe you the favour or privilege of piling your fridge-sized suitcases onto seats.

GO says so.

- Signed the readers and operator of thiscrazytrain.com (if the logo doesn't make it anymore clear perhaps a smack upside the head is in order)

Because suicide is NOT the answer

Frustratingly penned by Fran H. in an email
to cj@thiscrazytrain.com

I don't know if you've seen this new GO campaign but let's look at what GO is ***really*** trying to say here. Wouldn't a more effective photo be this one?

Instead of "STAND BACK FROM THE YELLOW LINE", the poster should read: JUST DON'T JUMP.

I'm sensitive to this because I witnessed a jumper on the Stouffville line about nine years ago. If GO wants to ramp this up, be more graphic.

Brampton Boneheads

Lovingly penned by Bryan in Brampton
to cj@thiscrazytrain.com

I graduated from commuting by GO Train some time ago, but I still enjoy your site immensely, and in some small way it makes me miss the adventures of commuting by rail.

As I live in the west, I don't know of the joys of parking in Oshawa, but the Brampton GO lots must rank pretty high on the 'parking anarchy' scale. I was cruising through one of the satellite lots today (which is notorious for creative parking) and encountered this bonehead parking job. Not only do we have a brave Toyota steadfastly parked in no-man's-land, we have a SECOND parker in the Nissan who felt it necessary to do away with tact altogether and park in the damned laneway -- not only preventing anything larger than a vespa to creep by, but also creating issues for the cars parked across from this dolt.

I see the GestapGO ticketing cars every few days, but I think they need to start towing in order for people to get the message.

Dear Mystery Man, your fans love you

As published in today's t.o.night newspaper

Thanks to D.F., L.M., and O.S. for the heads up.

Background here

From the search logs

I love Engrish.

The hell?

Oshawa GO parking lot. Photo by Verena T. No further explanation required.

Old skool. Will it chug? I think I can, I think I can, I think I can ...

Dirty foot riders. Show me where you live so I can come over and walk over your moms' living room sofas in my muddy boots

Just my doggy and me (and no one else apparently)

Because these people are more important than you

Gee, I wonder what she's texting? "hey, i'm holding the train for u. lol. ya. blocking the doors so they can't close."

Folks, what we have here is "door-blocking" to the extreme.

These donkeys are waiting for the rest of their door gang to show up, who just so happen to be late (5:10 pm Union-Oshawa). But hey, that's ok, right? It's not like anyone else on the train wants to get home on time.

I didn't even bother blurring out faces (not that they're crystal-clear to begin with) because I know I'm not the only one sick of this crap and these pretentious turnips need to understand they're not special and holding the train isn't like holding a seat on the bus for your BFF in grade school.

Ain't my fault you late

Photo via Flickr

My grade 12 English teacher, Mr. Connors, would have a heart attack over the title of this post, but it has more emphasis if I use bad grammar, like I'm all street and stuff.

I was nearly run over this morning as I crossed a stop-sign controlled junction in the north part of the Oshawa GO lot. In other words, the dude didn't stop.

The dude looked right at me as he accelerated, yes, ACCELERATED, through the intersection. So you know what I did? I stood my ground. Yes, this was stupid. I agree.

He came to a screeching halt and I remained standing there. To hell with the train! I'll be late for this. What's the hurry?!

I know you'd love to have me write that my bag and earrings came off, and my gloves were thrown to the pavement, but there was no bag beat down.

After a 30 second stand-off, I let the guy go.

There seems to be a growing disregard for pedestrian safety in the parking lots and we shouldn't stand for it. We all have to walk to our vehicles!

TTC Girl with a Cat (Bloor-Danforth Subway)

via Craigslist

I got on the subway on Friday at noon, and although it was relatively busy it was hard to miss you. There you sat sprawled across four seats with your belongings, cat included. You stared menacingly at me as I approached, and I couldn't help but notice the (what looks to be permanent) sneer playing out across your face. You looked young, maybe 16 or 17, and it seemed a possibility that perhaps in your short life you had been bullied or teased at some point. Maybe about your weight. Maybe your brain (or lack of). Regardless, you were a little young to be lacking in respect, and to be so nasty and spiteful to a complete stranger who asked you politely to move your things. I strongly doubt you paid a fare for each of the four seats you were coveting, which means they should have been available to other riders who had paid the appropriate fare. Perhaps you think I am an animal hater. How dare I ask you to put your cat carrier on the floor, after all! Actually the truth is I am not. I have taken my animals on the TTC for many many years. They either travel on my lap or, in the case of a pet in a carrier or a large dog, under my seat. My dogs learn to keep to themselves, and they do not sit on the seats out of respect for the other riders that a) do not like animals, b) have allergies, c) are part of a culture where touching animals is considered filthy, or d) are wearing nice business attire that they don't want to get covered in pet hair. THAT is respect. To acknowledge that the space is a shared one, and to take into consideration the views that may differ from my own.

I wish you luck in your life, young lady. You are certainly going to need as much luck as you can possibly grasp at the rate you're going. Learn a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T. If someone asks you to move your shit (cat included) so they can sit in a seat designated for people (again, I stress NOT bags nor cats) that they have technically paid a fare for, I suggest you comply. And try to be a little more civil about it. It will get you much further in life!

If I see you again, I'll happily sit on your bag if you refuse to move it.

Cheers!

Friday night

I got on the 10:13pm train from Union to Oshawa Friday night and noticed this backpack and jacket when boarding.
The train has pulled into Union with people on it.
When we left Union, I wondered if the person who owned these belongings got off at Union and then missed getting back on the train.
As we pulled into Oshawa, I made a decision to collect the jacket and bag and turn them in at the station.
JUST as I was reaching for the bag, this man comes down the stairs and asks me what I'm doing. I said I thought the items had been left behind.

He had been in the bathroom the entire trip.

All this over spaghetti? If it was scrambled eggs, well, ding! ding!

Stand your ground

From: "Name Withheld"
To: cj@thiscrazytrain.com
Date: Wed, 16 Mar 2011 23:11:42
Subject: Rude people

Hey,
So I just found your go train website tonight as I was fooling around on Google and your poll question made me want to email you.
I don't know how many people read your site so I'd like it if you could keep me anonymous. I don't ride the Lakeshore East but I do take the same train every morning on a different line and sit on the same car with people I see almost everyday and recently, at around Christmas, this woman started taking the train. She carries with her everyday a fullsize pillow with a cartoon character on it. Already I may be giving too much away but I can't hold this in much longer. We have quite a ways to go so once she boards, she settles in for her nap. She puts in earplugs, puts on a night mask and adjusts her pillow. The problem is she snores. Snores like a fright train roaring towards a cavernous concourse of a train station. It's so loud that no one else can concentrate and people won't move because seats are gone quickly and the train gets super packed just after the first couple of stops.
Monday morning I was late catching the train and the only seat free was across from her. I noticed a few regulars were prepared because both of them were wearing headphones. I had nothing, not even a book and I was annoyed I'd be sitting with her. I don't like to stand as I find the rocking of the train causes me to feel nauseous and besides, why should her nasty ignorant habit force me to have to stand? She was already settled in but hadn't put her earplugs in yet. I had a shit night and wasn't prepared for a full hour of this bullshit so I decided I would say something.
So I said to her, I hope you don't plan on sleeping this morning because I have a migraine and maybe no one has ever told you but you snore very loud. I had no idea how else to tell her and tried to keep my tone polite. She actually said, Excuse me?. So I said, you snore and it bothers everyone on this train. She repeats what I said and I said yes. So she says well that's tough for you, isn't it and tough for everyone and re-adjusts herself and crams her earplugs into her ears. I sighed and then this lady behind me says, Stand your ground, son. So I turn around and she peers at me between the seats and says, I'm glad you said something. I just nodded and the guy beside her says he's pretty sick of her.
Anyway, the snoring beast heard what we said and yanks out her earplugs (which seem to be useless) and tells us that if we have anything to say we should say it to her face. She was really pissing me off. I mean, what is WITH people?!! This isn't a rolling hotel. It's a public commuter train. Why should we be subjected to her crap?!!! I ignored her. We were moving now at this point and had the attention of pretty much everyone on-board. I was at a loss for how to fix this so I just kept ignoring her and stared out the window. Then out of nowhere she kicked me in the shin. If I were a woman, I would have slapped her but that ain't right no matter who you are so I stood up and said I was going to find the CSA so that when we got to Union, a cop would be waiting for her so I could press charges for assault. I climbed out of the quad and walked through the train and I was so wound up. My heart was hammering away and I feel like an idiot because I didn't pursue it. I guess I should have.
I've seen her everyday this week as I refuse to switch trains but I think other people have said something to her because she didn't sleep this morning.
I would think that snoring would be number 1 on everyone's list of things that other passengers do that make it for a rough train ride in. So I don't think I'm alone here.

Off Topic: A big dose of (tear)

If you're trying to stay hydrated after your night of green foam, you might want to put your tear duct plugs in to keep the drops of emotions from spilling out, because this will turn your insides into a quivering puddle.

While shooting the devastation in the Arahama area of Japan, a film crew's attention was caught by a dog who led them to his injured friend. The dog stood guard and protected his down-and-out dog friend until they were rescued and taken to a local shelter.

You know, I don't even mind that Disney is obviously going to turn this heartbreaking/heartwarming clip into a full-length 3D CGI musical movie starring the voices of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon.



via Dlisted, via Metro

You complete me

Well someone got their act together!

Tapped my card this evening and my balance showed the $50 deposited yesterday.

You don't have to sleep on the couch tonight...

Like pushing a watermelon through a straw

These are earbud headphones.

Take a look at the size of Uncle's thumb when compared to the size of the earbuds.

Who designed these at RIM? Yes, they came with his Blackberry.

I'd really hate to see how these people colour

And not a lick of snow on the ground!

Thanks to the Skinman for the photo.

Free parking at GO lots means free parking for those who pay to ride the train

To: +1905442743
From: +1416xxxxxxx
Received: Mar 11, 2011 3:33 PM

Cj, speaking of go train parking lot annoyances.....please tell me if I'm being overly sensitive. Every morning I arrive at the Oshawa go lot at around 0530. Every morning I see the same 2 cars pull in, 1 parks while he other one waits. After parking, a woman gets out of her car and jumps into the waiting car, as it proceeds to drive out of the lot. That irks me that people are using this lot as a free public parking lot. I've had to ride later trains in the winter months where there has been no parking available!! Aka the great 1.5 parking space rule that idiots seem to abide by when the lane markings are not clear. Anyway, am I being too critical?

To: +1416xxxxxxx
From: +1905442743
Sent: Mar 11, 2011 5:18 PM

Oh hell no. In fact, see if u can get the plates as I am sure this this goes against go's parking bylaws and isn't fair to you (or any one of us fare-paying GO customers)

To: +1905442743
From: +1416xxxxxxx
Received: Mar 11, 2011 5:26 PM

Well I think they probably just drop the car off during the day and then pick it up after work. But they are not using the go, just the spot that u and I pay for with our ticket fees. It's just frustrating because sometimes finding legal parking at the Oshawa go is impossible after 9am in the winter. Anyway, I'll def report it next time I see them. Thanks again! Great site btw. I read it religiously. Lol

To: +1416xxxxxxx
From: +1905442743
Sent: Mar 11, 2011 5:22 PM

Good. Because sometime during the day, GO will send someone to ticket the car. I will make it so.

---

I don't really have that kind of power but I suspect that by throwing this up here, it may raise a flag.

Baby, I'm gonna give you one more chance

I'm a sucker for punishment.

---

From: "PRESTO Customer Service" <prestomailer@prestocard.ca>
To: C Smith

Date: Wed, 16 Mar 2011 19:16:51 -0400

Subject: E-purse load confirmed

Thank you. Your order has been processed. Your confirmation details are below.

Changes to your account may take up to 24 hours to process.

Updates to your transaction history will not appear until you have tapped your PRESTO card against a 'Tap On' device or 'Balance Checker' device.

Payment Details

• Amount: 50.00
• Email Address: cj@thiscrazytrain.com
• Transaction Type: Purchase
• Date and Time of Purchase: 2011-03-16 - 19:15:46
• Authorization Code: 015543
• Response Code: 027
• ISO Code: 01
• Response Message: APPROVED * =
• Reference Number: 661621050014536140
• Goods and Services Order: e-purse Ad Hoc load
• Cardholder Name: C Smith
• Card Type: MasterCard

Sincerely,

The PRESTO Team

Off Topic: She's as big as a whale and she's about to set sail!

Source: Unknown

Presto, we've lost that lovin' feelin' ...

I have no faith in the online e-load feature for my card after it took more than 72 hours for my card to show the $50 I deposited last Friday.

The whole reason why I got the card was to by-pass the ticket wickets all together.

What do you think? Should I give Presto another chance?

Off Topic: The best perogies this side of the Ukraine are found in Bomanville

I can't remember who tipped us off (Kary, I believe) but apparently she's onto something in regards to Norm's Deli.

Read on ....

Perogie Paradise Found
March 1st, 2010 Author: Deb Rankine

For me, the culinary litmus test to determine the world’s best perogie is to eat them naked. No, silly. Not me in my birthday suit. I mean the perogie, sans nutty brown butter, mounds of caramelized onions, crispy fried pork belly and full fat sour cream.

Perogie “neat,” if you will.

So last Thursday, when cooking school coordinator and friend, Julia Mason, claimed that the world’s best perogie were found in her own home town, what could I do but challenge her?

Keep reading ...

---

PS: I'm a huge foodie so I won't apologize for these off topic posts. We all gots to eat.

Train signs as interpreted by my 5-year-old

My daughter rode home with me tonight after spending 4 days with my parents in Toronto's west-end.

She attempted at one point to engage a woman wearing zebra-striped ear muffs into a conversation about said ear muffs which resulted in said woman attempting to ignore my daughter which resulted in my daughter saying, "Excuse me, I'm talking to you." This was met with me telling her that some people don't want to talk to anyone on the train which was met with a "Why???"

God, I wish my kid could read at a grade 12 level. Then I could show her that wonderful WikiHow.com article I found months ago entitled, 'How to Avoid Conversation on Public Transportation'.

At one point, when boredom set in (I knew once she started pole-dancing, it was time to distract her. You never want to watch your daughter, at any age, pole-dance), I asked my daughter to tell me what she thought the signs on the train meant.

Her answers were interesting, especially since her "sight words" are limited to: the, of, and, any, who, why, you, me, or, this, that, cat, sit, to, hi, bye ... etc., mostly three letter words, so kudos to the artists.

Did you know? Your kid can ride for free

Children under 6 ride for free when accompanied by a Presto card holder, monthly pass holder, or full-fare paying adult, so said the lady in the ticket booth when I asked to purchase a one-way fare to Oshawa for my 5-year-old daughter at Union tonight.

Apparently this is new. The old definition was 5-years-old. GO's website isn't updated yet with this information, but if you're on March Break and traveling with kids, this is good to know.

There is a catch, only one child under 6 enjoys a free ride. If you have more than one kid under 6 and no other adult who has paid a fare with you, you have to spot for the other kids and pay a child's fare.

More seats means more opportunities to leave our seats to pee! I should be writing these alerts

"GO E-News Alert"
15/03/2011 01:06 PM

We are excited to announce that we will soon be increasing our rail fleet!
Recently, we purchased an additional 50 new bi-level passenger coaches from Bombardier that we expect to start rolling into service by Fall of this year.

This will enable us to increase our service and extend the length of our trains, allowing us to accommodate an additional 8000 passengers a day which means more seats for you!

Thank you (for) choosing GO Transit!

---

I don't know who proofread the email before it went out, but the "for" is missing resulting in broken English.

Interesting choice of hardware

The girl across from me is wearing miniature pompoms as earrings.
She looks like she's ready to lapse into a coma which means I can try to get a photo. Stupid blackberry and its shutter...
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

Kinda reminds you of Ajax, no?

Off Topic: Dudes ... come on! So good ...

I left work early today (but I was in early) because my husband carpe diem'd since we're kidless for March Break and he ferried me off to Zante Restaurant in Bomanville.

I will admit, I drank too much wine and I'm relying heavily on spell-check but if you live in Oshawa/Courtice/Bomanville/Newcastle, whatever, tonight I had the best Greek food I have ever had this side of the Danforth.

I don't like lamb but my husband had the rack and I tried a little and it was incredibly tender. If you can get pass the sweet little lamb from the Flintstones, then you can inhale this dish.

I had their appetizer platter which consisted of pita bread paired with tzatziki, feta, hummus, sundried tomatoes and olives.

Wow. I really shouldn't have had that half litre of house wine (Jackson Triggs white something or other). My entree consisted of chicken souvlaki. I wound up carting home over half of my meal because we ordered too much food. The calamari was also good.

All together, two people minus alcohol can dine for $55 to $60, including appetizers, inclusive. So worth riding the party train (4:53pm) home.

Don't this make you hun-gray???

This Crazy Train's Presto Chronicles, Chapter 4: What gives? It's been over 72 hours

My Presto card isn't showing the $50.00 I deposited Friday afternoon and I have $9.39 left on my card. Sure, this gets me on the train tomorrow, but what about the ride home?
Looks like loading the card at the stations' ticket booths is the better option.

---

From: "PRESTO Customer Service"

Date: Fri, 11 Mar 2011 14:14:43 -0500

To: C Smith

Subject: E-purse load confirmed

Thank you. Your order has been processed. Your confirmation details are below.

Changes to your account may take up to 24 hours to process (You lie!!!).

Updates to your transaction history will not appear until you have tapped your PRESTO card against a 'Tap On' device or 'Balance Checker' device (I did!!!).

Payment Details

• Amount: 50.00
• Transaction Type: Purchase
• Date and Time of Purchase: 2011-03-11 - 14:10:11
• Authorization Code: 054450
• Response Code: 027
• ISO Code: 01
• Response Message: APPROVED * =
• Reference Number: 661621050014484750
• Goods and Services Order: e-purse Ad Hoc load
• Cardholder Name: C Smith
• Card Type: Visa

Sincerely,

The PRESTO Team

Does a minute matter?

I'm pretty sure the 7:21 Oshawa-Union train left a minute before schedule this morning, not that I've synchronized my car clock, watch or Blackberry to GO Transit time or anything.
What gives?
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

Ever since honeys was wearing sassoons

How do you make what's supposed to be a 50-minute train ride (but now stretched out to an hour and a half because the switch troll decided not to come into work today) a good one?

By chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool and reminiscing about one of the best periods for early rap & hip hop - the late 80s/early 90s.

Myself, Uncle, Rotary Dial (I can't really call her that anymore because she's traded in her 1997 cellphone for a touch-sensitive phone) and Jill decided to rap some old skool tunes.

Here they are in no particular order (with video!). Enjoy.



Click here for the full list of songs.

More on the chatty GO bus driver ... Man Asked GO Transit For Money In Exchange For Pic Of Driver Using Phone

Picture of GO bus driver using phone published in the Toronto Sun, Feb. 11, 2011. Photo linked/embedded from CityNews.ca

ONTARIO - A man asked GO Transit for payment in exchange for a photograph of a bus driver allegedly using a cellphone while behind the wheel, the transit agency says.

“A person did contact GO Transit earlier this week (Feb. 7) and asked us to pay for a photo that the person claimed to have taken of a GO bus driver using a cellphone while in operation,” GO Transit spokeswoman Vanessa Thomas told CityNews.ca.

“As a provincial agency, we did not purchase that photo,” she added. “We appreciate that the photo was brought to our attention. The person didn’t provide us with the photo and now through the media we’ve seen the photo.”

GO wouldn’t provide any information about the man who captured the image. The Toronto Sun, which ran the photo Friday, only identified the photographer as a 19-year-old named Peter.

Continue reading this article on CityNews.ca

This Crazy Train's Presto Chronicles, Chapter 3: All I want to do is put money on my card

I swear on a stack of Bibles I honestly could not figure out from the landing page where I click to reload the e-wallet for my Presto Card.

Right here. Or you can log in using the form on the home page found on the right hand side under "Registered". This wasn't obvious to me at first glance.

What was frustrating for me on the home page and what threw me off were the three "visual cues". They don't address what I'm looking for. What CURRENT cardholders are looking for. As for drawing more attention to the sign in process on the landing page, how about "Active Cardholders" over the form fields?

Better yet, how about a fourth icon on the same line as the other three that reads "Load My Presto Card"? This shouldn't be buried after logging in.

When you put three big visual cues on an interface, instinctively your users will begin with those "actions". I think the landing page should address every user's needs, not just people new to the Presto Card.

People of Go Transit. I think you may be on to something...

Below is a text exchange I had last week with a person who thinks I'm a time traveler. My replies are in green.

Hi So I found your little blog today and I just want to say congratulations for ripping off my idea. A few years ago I had told people I used to sit with on the train that I was going to start a website called People of Go Transit and I would document all the things people do on the train.
What I'm saying is your site is not unique and you should be careful about what you do with people's ideas.

Hi, what train do you ride?

I don't ride the train anymore but I used to

Okay ... what train DID you ride?

I used to take the train to Whitby.

When was that?

How do you mean?

What year?

1997

Do you own a Delorean?

No, what's that?

It's the car from the Back to the Future movies

Okay and your point is?

Because in 1997 I lived in the west-end of Toronto and drove to work

(pause)

So I was hoping I could borrow your time machine because it's the only way I could have stolen your idea and 1997 is more than a "few years ago"

How long am I supposed to know you've been riding the train for?

It says so on my web---, or I'm sorry, seeing it was your idea, on *your* website

How do I know that?

How do you know what?

What it says on the site?

Jesus Christ. Did you even read it?

No, I just saw you have a blog after my friend posted it on Facebook

So you saw that I have a blog and you immediately figured someone had stolen your great idea about people riding GO trains from 1997 ???

(pause)

Hello

(pause)

I'm sure I'm not the first person to sit on a GO train and watch a person hug a support pole and use it like it's $3 Beer Night at some brass pole joint and think to myself, ya know? Someone should write a blog about the crazy stuff people do on a GO train.

Before you accuse someone of stealing an idea, have some merit to your claim such as a draft copy of content, or how about that you actually registered a domain name (ie. peopleofgotransit.com)? However, I do think your name for such a site is a good one so instead of whining to me, how about you actually do something with your idea (which is now over 14 years old, by the way).

At least I'm actually doing something with mine.

Broken record

I'll say it again.

Your bags/suitcases/stuffed animal winnings from the CNE/big screen TV don't ride on a seat on ANY RUSH HOUR TRAIN if you haven't purchased a ticket for that seat.

This morning, this family (two parents and a kid) boarded the 7:53 am (Oshawa-Union) train with several duffel bags (more about the kid later) and piled their bags on the fourth seat of the quad they were in.

(I should also mention that I made the faux pas of using the seat in front of me to support my bag while I dug out my hairbrush which drew an exasperated sigh of frustration from a woman boarding who was clearly annoyed that I would use an empty seat during boarding for this task. This resulted with me addressing her grunt - loudly - by declaring, "All you have to do is ask me to move my bag". Right? Like come on! Look who you're talking to here. I'M ON YOUR SIDE!!!)

At Ajax (where the crowd surge begins) several people got on and not one person asked this family to move their bags while the train was boarding. Sure, lots of dirty looks were cast their way... It wasn't until after we left Ajax that a woman walked over and asked if the seat was taken. The father told her that it's for their bags. The woman (God love her) asked, "Did you buy a ticket for them"? I swear she asked this. I have witnesses! The father said, "No, but we have nowhere to put them." I couldn't hear what this lady said but the mother moved all the bags and piled them on the kid's lap. Prior to this, the kid had been playing a Nintendo DS (no headphones) and had been subjecting everyone to his guns and laser game. Now he had no hands to do so. Point, US.

Got luggage? Take VIA. Their trains can accommodate your vacation baggage. GO trains can't. I know we've had this discussion before but we're all paying passengers and it's not my problem that you chose rush hour as your time to get to the airport. Sorry. Seating is already at a premium on the trains as it is.

Train bunny

I guess Easter can't come fast enough for some.

Logo. Version #5

Who gets the accolades for this idea you ask?

FRED

As much I love K.P. and his "weeeeee" rollercoaster arms, it's time for something new.

I guess I should start a gallery soon to house all the logo renderings.

Yep, this about sums it up

Oh, you don't know about KP? Read all about him.

Burning questions

Submitted by "401" to cj@thiscrazytrain.com

In the wake of the TTC's scrutiny on the subject of cellphone usage while at the wheel, the media has done a good job to suppress a recent claim that a GO driver has done the same thing, too. I can't find much else on the subject than at these links:

http://t.co/GHwNYfi
http://www.citytv.com/toronto/citynews/news/local/article/113253--man-asked-go-transit-for-money-in-exchange-for-pic-of-driver-using-phone
http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Canada/2011/02/10/17234841.html

Where is Bob Kinnear's rant? Can't the drivers go on strike in of protest of this accusation and give me the day off?

GO Train P*rn for my Rail Nerds

Model GO trains. Don't ask me where you buy them. Just watch the video.

"The matter at hand is not a laughing one" - I'll be the judge of that!

If you're new to the site or need to catch up, here's the background for this post.


Subject: Warning
------------------------

From: pxxx.sxxxxxxxxx.law@gmail.com
Date: Wed, Mar 9, 2011 at 4:21 PM
To: cj@thiscrazytrain.com


Dear Ms. Smith,

It has been brought to my attention that you are using the likeness and persona of my client on your website, www.thiscrazytrain.com without expressed written consent from my client.
This email is to serve notice that you have 24 hours to remove the offending photos or face further repercussion.

Regards,
Pxxx Sxxxxxxxxx
Attorney-at-law


----------
From: cj@thiscrazytrain.com
Date: Wed, Mar 9, 2011 at 5:35 PM
To: pxxx.sxxxxxxxxx.law@gmail.com


Dear ... Er, crap, I forgot your name already.

I get like that sometimes. Like, once I went into Costco for a loaf of bread, a container of milk and stick of butter and I walked out with a 52-inch Plasma tv instead. Boy was my mom mad!

But seriously, I'd love to help you with this request of yours, but you failed to disclose who your client is or what photos you're referring to... Oh snap... is this about the Garlic Crunch cereal box?

I feel privileged that you've emailed me from your personal email account, being all fancy-like with the word "law" in it, which is reassuring to me as I only like to deal with professional lawyers. I mean, why use fancy letterhead, right?

Regards,
CJ Smith

----------
From: pxxx.sxxxxxxxxx.law@gmail.com
Date: Wed, Mar 9, 2011 at 5:53 PM
To: cj@thiscrazytrain.com


My client is Kxxxx Pxxxxx and despite how funny you think you are, the matter at hand is not a laughing one.

It's my understanding that your logo now contains his likeness and is causing him stress and embarrassment.

He has indulged you by participating in your online forum with the hope that friendliness would persuade you to stop targeting him.

I am in the process of having your telephone number traced so I can obtain a mailing address for you in order to send the lawsuit.

Good day.

----------
From: cj@thiscrazytrain.com
Date: Wed, Mar 9, 2011 at 7:03 PM
To: pxxx.sxxxxxxxxx.law@gmail.com

Dear Mr. Sandman (not his real name),

This is the best laugh I've had in a while. Thank you.

I wasn't aware that blurry arms and semi-clenched fists constitute a trademark. Please forward Mr. Pxxxx's trademark information to my lawyer Mr. Howard Bigfird at howard_bigfird@thiscrazytrain.com and he will determine if I am in violation of any copyright or ownership of said body parts.

Regards,
CJ

---

I hope KP likes baseball. Watch out for those flying bats, bro.

Original photo here
(Caption: Brooklyn resident, Mitch Davie, catches Atlanta Braves' Dan Uggla's rebel flying bat at a spring-training baseball game against the Toronto Blue Jays on Friday, March 4, 2011 in Kissimmee, Florida, without spilling his beer. Unknown man in grey hoodie waits patiently for a foul ball.)

Abandon hope all ye who enter this latrine

Click image to enlarge

Story submitted by Lady in Pink
Artwork by Yours Truly; image source

Woman gets on the 4:40 Barrie north train and stands by the bathroom door (one of the big bathrooms) and grunts a little when someone wants by to get into the bathroom... so this lady goes into the bathroom and shuts the door and angry lady (CJ says: Who I have now nicknamed "Bathroom Troll") with a pissed off face proceeds to lean on the bathroom door intently reading her book called "Not My Daughter"... Eventually the lady who was in the washroom wants to get out and pulls the door open and the (Bathroom Troll) nearly falls in seeing as she was leaning on the door...

She grunts loudly and steps aside so the lady can get out.

Seeing as the Barrie train is like a sardine can and no one can move, (Bathroom Troll) goes right back to leaning on the bathroom door.

A couple minutes later, (Bathroom Troll) moves to the middle of the train where it's standing room only and continues to scowl and read her book. She's mumbling under her breath about something and 30 minutes later, she is still looking quite angry.

I think she needs a vacation.

If thoughts could start a fire, the poor lady who had to use the bathroom would have spontaneously combusted!

That ain't right, don't care who you be

4:53 train (Union-Oshawa)

Lady gets on, finds remaining seat available in a quad next to where I'm sitting and plunks down a Shoppers Drug Mart bag and then quickly says to the woman across from her, "Please watch my bag" and takes off.

No one knows where she went and passengers keep trying to sit, only to be told by the woman left to guard the bag that the seat is taken...

(On a side note, it's hard to write this when there's a dude standing next to me breathing down my neck and reading over my shoulder ... Oh wait, guess he just read what I wrote coz he's turned around)

So one lady gets on, ignores that the seat is taken, picks up the bag and sits down and says she'll wait for its owner to return.

(God I love drama, please bring it)

The chick comes back and is genuinely surprised to see her seat taken. The woman sitting in it says it's not fair to hold a seat during rush hour and hands her the bag. I'd like to say a big catfight ensued but the bag lady just took her bag and left, walking through to the other car.

The woman across from her says she couldn't believe the bag lady would put her in such a situation by not even giving her the choice of if she wanted to be the keeper of the seat.

They're still talking about it.

About that car on the tracks ...

I've learned that the people over at the Durham paper don't like their photos embedded into blogs (ie. no photoshopping) so here's a link to the photo of the car whose driver landed on the train tracks near Ajax causing service to come to a screeching halt over lunchtime today.

Maybe the driver was cut off but the driver was on the off-ramp when it happened (you know, when you have to SLOW down). It takes a lot of speed to go flying off a highway. I'm just sayin' ...

AJAX -- Two passengers were taken to hospital Tuesday morning after a car flew off Hwy. 401 and landed on Ajax railroad tracks. Police closed the eastbound Hwy. 401 off-ramp at Salem Road when a single vehicle went off the road and landed on the train tracks at... read more

Don't you know there's a cereal!?

From Anonymous text message to 9054427423

The lady on the train beside me this morning smelled like she ate a few cloves of garlic for breakfast, and the woman across from me apparently showered in perfume.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

Can't people smell themselves?

The dude next to me on the 5:53 to Oshawa smells like a hockey bag.
For those who don't know what dry sweaty hockey gear smells like, just imagine 90-day old milk.

It's that awesome!

Seriously, wash your winter jacket!!!
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

Damn you, GO Transit, for being on time!

I don't mean to poke fun ... Okay, yeah I do, but this morning I watched a man sprint across the GO parking lot from my cozy seat on the 7:53 (Oshawa-Union) with one minute to spare 'til departure.

Needless to say, he didn't make it. But he did run alongside the train for a few seconds as we were pulling away from the platform shaking his fist in frustration - in a "Get off my lawn" kind of way.

I burst out laughing. I feel bad about it.

Actually, no I don't.

Train voice - poll question

Hey CJ, how did this morning's train ride go?

Fantastic, glad you asked!

Those of you who pick the last selection on the list will burn in hell, you know.

You'll find the poll at the top right hand side of the site.

If only I could steal this

Do you recognize the person in the window?


It's Homer Simpson!

Charlotte, my train friend, lives on a corner-lot across from this house. Homer watches her, quite angrily I might add, as she eats breakfast and leaves her home to walk to the GO bus stop each morning.

She doesn't know why her neighbour has a life-size cutout of Homer in his front window but it's obviously a bizarre attempt at Neighbourhood Watch.

I have to kidnap him.

Yep, I'm going to hell in a handbasket

Whatever that means ... but I do know most of you are coming with me.

A big thank you to Donna for the logo suggestion.

This one's for you, KP!

Background story here

Morning rush hour BBQ

It's one thing to hog ONE seat but this dirty turnip took up THREE seats one morning in mid-February, writes Alex, on an express train from Ajax.

You know what's coming, right?

Aww, yeah.


Now that, my friends, is a disco inferno.

Worst ad ever

Great, a sale!

But how much?

Oh ...

Can I call you?

Oh ...

So you want to me to just show up at your location, one of three, and just hope there's a tv in stock at a price I'm willing to pay? Is that how it works?

- As seen in t.o.night newspaper on the GO

Door blockers = asses

I managed to catch the 4:53 pm tonight.

Don't let the door blockers fool you when you approach the train with seven minutes left til departure and it seems the coach is full.

Ask the stair pigs to move and lord!? What are those?! Why they're seats, on the second level!

You donkeys! MOVE!

You know what sucks?

Getting off the train.

Getting coffee.

Walking to work.

Sitting down at my desk.

Finding out the cream is off.

Thanks, Mmmarvelous Mmmuffins.

Is it "em em" em-arvelous "em em" em-uffins? Or is it mmm as in "mmm, this (long-drawn out em sound) muffin is awesome!"

I guess I shouldn't expect much from a company that supposedly stutters, can I?

Should I make the Crazy Train logo spontaneously combust?

As much as I love Marilyn singing Happy Birthday, it's now out of date.

If you have ideas for what the two characters up in the logo should be saying/thinking, throw something my way.

I did receive an email suggesting that I insert a suitcase next to the character on the right and have it and its suitcase spontaneously catch fire, considering my hatred towards passengers with large suitcases.

Be sure to check out the spontaneous combustion gallery if you're new to the site.

Off Topic: In a crash, everything in your car becomes a weapon

I noticed the dash of this minivan tonight as I trudged across the Oshawa GO lot.

I have to point out that personal storage isn't the purpose of cab-forward design. CD jewel cases, in a high speed crash, can cause extreme facial injuries, and the CDs themselves can slice through skin. Pens, needles and coins can cause eye injuries.

Take a good look at the inside of your vehicle. Use your dashboard compartment for what it was intended. Use your console storage and your trunk. If you have an SUV, buy a cargo net. Just remember, that in a crash, what's in motion stays in motion!

To learn more about the dangers of unsecured cargo, visit: Education for the driving masses: Tip 110 - It's not just what you hit that can kill you but what hits you

Good God, some people are dumb

Heading up to catch the 5:53 pm (Union-Oshawa) train, I encountered a woman trying to tap her Presto pass on one of the paper-ticket stamp-punch machines.

She slapped her card half a dozen times in frustration and I stopped and told her she had to use the card reader machines in the outside corridor (of the Bay St. Teamway). She told me she was told any of the ticket machines take the card. I politely said she was misinformed and opened the door and pointed out a Presto machine to her.

Exasperated, she shoved her card into her purse and charged up the stairs mumbling that she doesn't have time "for this shit" and "that GO needs to get their act together".

I don't know about you but I'm pretty sure GO doesn't have time for her stupidity.

Isn't it obvious what machine is for what?

Submitted by Joanne L.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

Don't make fun of drunk people. They sue (or so they threaten)

Especially those who pass out in the aisles on GO trains.

Like this guy (click here).

From: XXXXXXXXX@rogers.com
Date: Tue, 1 Mar 2011 12:27:36 -0500 (EST)
To: cj@thiscrazytrain.com
Subject: Me

I sent you a text message sometiume ago asking for u to taje my pic off your wbeiste and I see it's STILL THERE!!!!! i never gave u permission to use my face or make fun of me ../.. I don't EVEN LIKE ROLLERCOASTERS. YOU ASSHOLE!!! i'm seeking leagl action for this f*ckery. u have 24 hours to take it down or at least cover my face with a red circle!

-KP

---

Okay, so you don't like rollercoasters. How about a carousel?

Can you send me a full photo of yourself? I need your legs.