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Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Just call me employee of the month

The following is a text exchange I had with a person I have nicknamed "Lost On The Internet" or LOTI for short.

My replies are in green.

LOTI: hello?

Hi

(many minutes pass)

LOTI: hello?

Hi!

LOTI: i

(many minutes pass)

LOTI: hello

Hi!!!

(many minutes pass ...)

(it's now the next day)

LOTI: are you the lady who drives the GO train?

Nope

LOTI: you don't drive a GO train?

Nope

LOTI: oh. maybe you can still help me???

I can sure try

LOTI: I need to get to the airport

Okay.

(long pause)

LOTI: don't you need to know where i am?

If I were a taxi company, absolutely. But I'm not.

LOTI: This is pretty bad customer service

LOTI: Is this GO?

Nope

LOTI: Is this 905-442-7423

Yep

LOTI: So you're the GO train???

Nope

LOTI: How do I speak to someone about getting to the airport?

You can call GO Transit.

LOTI: I have to call?

Yep.

LOTI: I can't text?

Nope.

LOTI: I don't have a voice plan!

You don't have air time?

LOTI: Well I do but I have to pay for it. I was looking for a way to text GO.

Did you find a website called thiscrazytrain.com?

LOTI: Yes. That's how I got your number.

I'm not GO. I just write about taking GO.

LOTI: Oh.

Do you get it now?

LOTI: Get what?

That I'm not GO Transit. Or someone who drives a GO train.

LOTI: Sort of. Can you call them for me and then just text me the information?

Um ... hang on ... er, No.

LOTI: Come on.... Please???

You can use the web. I take it you're in front of a computer?

LOTI: Yes.

Find GO's website and there's a trip planner you can use. That will tell you how to get to the airport.

LOTI: But you're faster!

I'm not calling GO for you. I have to pay for my airtime as well.

LOTI: But you can probably afford more than I can.

Wait, you're right. Let me go fetch my leprechaun...

LOTI: So where are you located?

Earth.

LOTI: Ha ha.

Next you'll type A/S/L.

LOTI: What's that?

Sigh ...Did you find GO's website?

LOTI: No, this is too much fun right now.

Yeah, well, I have to go season some porkchops. Nice talking to you.

LOTI: Party poop.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

wow.

C.J. Smith said...

I know. Special.

HM said...

Next logo idea: CJ hanging out of a GO train wearing an engineer hat and saluting/waving. Pleaseohplease.

C.J. Smith said...

You mean the angry circle. I'll see what can be done.

Anonymous said...

Talk about lazy. "Can't you do it for me?"

Bicky said...

It must be true... you can't make up something like this! Hilarious!

Skin Man said...

This must be my eldest son.

Unknown said...

You should get an award for making our day just a bit brighter with these Gems. I had to contain my laughter on the 430 LSE in car 2029.

Can we have a special Code for laughter directly attributable to this Blog - to avoid being written about?

This makes my ride home joyful.
Thanks

Anonymous said...

Priceless..!! by the way you must go to the Richmond Hill center off Langstaff stn. to catch bus to airport.

Anonymous said...

Hahahhaa this guy is the best. I just imagine a doddering old grandad meticulously tapping away at his keyboard. Bless. "party poop" hahahahhahahah love it