Damn

I just realized I didn't buy an April pass and will have to line my sorry ass up at 'Shwa in the morning. Dammit. I just became one of the people I always make fun of.

Awesomeness

So I bust my ass to make the 4:53 but decide to hold out and take the 5:10 so I can get a seat only to discover the five (bad language alert) f*ck*n ten is all-stops-mother-of-all-milk-runs to Oshawa because the jokers who run the 5:05 lost their train. Plus, the customer service chick also thinks we're deaf because she keeps yelling that this train is all stops.
I don't understand. If they've made the 5:20 all stops as well, this should have been kept as express.


Oh my god, crying baby, too!? Serenity, now!

Say what?

I pulled this off the visitor logs. Dirty.

Saw

So apparently some of you jokers don't believe me that weapons tools such as sledgehammers and saws are available for use on the trains. In an "emergency" of course.

This is the best possible photo I could snap. That's a saw. On closer inspection, I also learned these tools are tested every three months. It doesn't say how, but they passed!

Go Go Transit Gong Show

Dear Management,
I promised I would never make this blog about you.
But you so went there ...

It was a train derailment. I'm glad it wasn't a terrorist attack because clearly, the system still remains somewhat disorganized and unprepared when a large scale service disruption occurs that isn't a suicide. And even those are a hot mess.
Just like how I plan to expect the unexpected with the shenanigans of fellow commuters, you've got to get it together, folks.

I'm surprised no one helped themselves to the complimentary pick-axe and sledgehammers provided on each coach ... right?

Some observations at Union Station:

6:23pm - Lady in blue coat bursts into tears after being told Pickering was still off limits. Eventually she collapsed into one of those blue steel chairs and called her husband/boyfriend/lover/brother on her cell and sobbed about "just wanting to get home". For real. I went and got my drink on at Four Bar at Wellington and Bay.

6:59pm - The group of college guys singing, "Let my people go" was the highlight of the evening.

8:13pm - The train I finally dragged my sorry ass onto was full of people extremely pissed off. These people were in desperate need of dates with Mr. Morgan and Ms. Gin. Why not make it an orgy with Mr. Vodka?

I did.

Safety Circle

I'm not keen with people invading my personal space. Please, do stretch out. Don't let my legs interfere with your comfort!

I then accidentally kicked her.

Me - 1. Dirty Linebacker - 0.

Sun

I'm this close (-) to taping a 24 Hour newspaper over the window. I bet everyone on this coach with me would stand up and cheer if I did that.

Whistle

You know those people with dry noses who whistle through a nostril or both when breathing?
You do?
Well guess who's sitting beside me?
Yep.
I'm trying hard not to poke her eyes out with my pen!
Because that would be bad.
And I don't like jail.

Throbbing

The woman next to me is reading a dirty novel. Lots of use of the words pulsing, lust, throbbing, etc., but the best has to be 'climaxed'. Who says that other than a sex ed teacher?
No one says that.

Rhymes with witch

Dear lady in green on the 5:20,

I can appreciate you had a bad day at work but guess what? It's not an exclusive club. It's not population: you. I don't care to listen to you rant and rave on your cell and I'm sure the whole coach didn't need to either!

Ouch

A woman who got on at Pickering spilled her coffee all over the jacket of a guy sitting on the stairs. Hey, you know what? You wouldn't move for her so what did you expect? What I don't understand is why you told her she had to 'fix it'. Fix what? That you're an idiot?

Like a rhinestone cowboy ...

I totally dig how this woman bedazzled her coffee traveler's mug with rhinestones.

End of the line

I just spent the last 9 minutes explaining to a woman that this crazy train does indeed go to Union. She's convinced we're traveling eastbound even though we've picked up the whitby and ajax jokers already.

Ok lady ... good book, eh? See you later...

Ogle

This lady looks like she's reading a book but really, it's just a ruse so she can stare at me typing furiously away on my web phone.
I haven't slept in over 32 hours. That could be the reason why she's staring or I'm paranoid from fatigue.

Hairy

The lady across from me seems clueless that opaque doesn't mean I can't see her hairy winter legs through her tights. I think I made it too obvious I was trying to take a photo because she's wrapped her coat around her fur.

Tools

I find it somewhat disturbing that considering it's illegal to get on a plane with so much as a toothpick that hundreds of commuters ride in an enclosed train traveling in excess of 100 kph where access to an axe, sledgehammer and saw are readily accessible to any nutjub capable of breaking plastic with a fist. What's to protect us? I don't think I would try to jump from a moving train should someone go postal one night. Or maybe I would ...

Am I the only one to think about how odd this is? How is this different from a plane? No offence to GO Transit. I understand why you want us to have access to these tools in an emergency but I find it incredible there's not been any concerns about people using these tools for the wrong reasons.

No, this wasn't a funny post. Yes, it is pretty dark but I had to ask.

Gag

Sometimes I don't know what's worse: body odor or jerks who bathe in Old Spice. The last 25 minutes have been gag-inducing.
If there was ever a more appropriate time to break out a tuna sandwich ... this ride would have been it.

Umbrella

Sometimes I want to grab those who are holding one, completely clueless to the fact that some of us are attached to our eyes, and beat them with it as we all stand on the train platform.
But I don't. Because I don't like jail.

Pepto Dismal

The man across from me is sipping a mickey of Pepto-Bismol. Occasionally, he wipes sweat from his brow.
I'm sitting here feeling both fascinated yet horrified at the same time.
That had to be one hell of a day at work.

Guest Rider Submission - Comfy

At least this dirty linebacker had the decency to remove his work boots before settling into his long ride home on Lakeshore West. Photo submitted by José.