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Monday, May 31, 2010

You've been "told"

I love riders who tell other riders to "shut the hell up".

Trust me lady ... there was a reason why no one came to your defence after that guy yelled at you. We were all sick of listening to your cackle as you chatted and laughed away on your Blackberry.

It's too early for that crap and our brains don't like to listen to one half of a conversation. Research has proved it.

I'm surprised more people don't go apeshit.

Friday

I had no means to which to blog as I had left my celly in my car but the highlight of the ride home was the dude who attempted to get his 10-speed on board the 5:10.

Security had to be called. For real.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Victim

As I drove home from the GO Station tonight, a warning message flashed in the driver's information area of the dash of my Chevrolet Equinox.

TIGHTEN GAS CAP

This puzzled me and then I noticed my fuel gauge. On Sunday, I filled my car. My tank holds 69 litres of gas, enough to drive 598 km. Tonight, my fuel gauge showed I had less than a quarter of a tank left. I've only driven 62 km this week.

Turns out, I'm a victim of gas siphoning. Someone siphoned close to 50 litres of gas from my tank while it sat parked in the GO lot. It's the only conclusion I can come to. My tank had over three quarters of fuel this morning.

It's time to bring back locking gas caps.

Jerk.

Eyes

The guy across from me keeps rolling his eyes back into his head everytime he blinks.
It's almost as creepy as people who sleep with their eyes partially open.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Me Too!


For those who can't make it out, the t-shirt reads, "Normal People Scare Me".

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Seriously

Considering I pay good money to ride, how hard is it to turn on the a/c in this coach?
Worst ride home ever.

Someone get this lady a pillow!

And a martini. With umbrella.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Listen up, dirty turnips. Why overhearing half a cellphone conversation is so annoying

From the Los Angeles Times

A new study shows why the ever-present cellphone conversations going on around us—in the grocery store, mall, airport, elevator, on the bus (on the GO Train!), etc.—feel so intrusive.

Cellphones have made phone conversations ubiquitous. But many people confess to feeling a bit startled, then irritated, when they hear speech, think someone is talking to them, and then realize the person nearby is talking to someone else on the phone.

It turns out that our brains just don't like this phenomenon.

READ THE REST OF THIS STORY

Not ridin' dirty

Yesterday I took the day off and took my kid to the zoo.
Holy crap. I had no idea it was going to be that warm.

Today I am working from home and with the long weekend upon us, there won't be any stories til Tuesday.

Keep those pictures coming! cj@thiscrazytrain.com

Have a nice long weekend you dirty turnips!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

What a nightmare

I'm so embarrassed.
My allergies got the better of me and with no tissues available, I had to make due with my white jacket.
Yes. I will leave you with that mental image.
I apologize if I grossed anyone out.
It was really bad.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Oshawa 4:10

What the hell was that?

No seriously ... what the hell?

On the first car, lower level, there was a group of 7 people who clearly failed to realize that many of us didn't give a rat's bum about their lame jokes. The speaking volume was ridiculous ... and the yelling!

I can understand the joy of having train friends but for god's sake, some of us are trying to read. I found myself reading the same paragraph over and over because the obnoxious laughter kept breaking my concentration.

As we pulled into Oshawa, this same group then stood in a crowd at the doors continuing their boisterous ear-splitting volume of discussion and laughter.

The poor woman beside me was so annoyed, I could feel the steam from her ears. When I asked her if it was like this everyday, she said yes.

Good god.

Someone better hide the tools.

Overheard

"I don't know why I pay for a pass.
No one ever checks."
Oh but they do.

It happens on the day you forgetfully left yours on the dash of your car because you were trying to disconnect your iPod and then you dropped your keys and couldn't find them and now you're late and you slam the door and book it for the train and all the while your pass sits alone on the dash.

That's why you pay. Because you never know when your time is up.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Fridge

Okay folks, listen up.
I can appreciate that many of you commute with several bags and that's not the problem. The problem is how you carry them.

When walking between the aisle seats, carrying several bags over the shoulder is not only dangerous, it's rude. This morning, my train buddy Charlotte was nearly decapitated by a moron who decided to hoof a bag the size of a small bar fridge onto his back.

Carry them down in front of you.

Help save a head.

Help save a life.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Bag riding to Stouffville

I snapped this on Friday. When I asked this lady to sit she said she was holding the seat for a friend. I'm not sure where this friend was but there was no friend in that seat when we left Union.

Submitted by Tamara H.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Charlotte

Before I begin today's post, I aplogize for yesterday's lack of mindless nonsense. I didn't ride the train as I drove my ass into Toronto for a conference. As I type this, the guy across from me is air drumming and tapping out beats on his knapsack, oblivious to the fact that some of us just aren't that much into Reo Speedwagon as him. I suggest he "roll with the changes" ... maybe just roll right off the train.

My train friend finally told me her name but I've already committed myself to the name Charlotte which will now be difficult to break. Charlotte it is.

Also, Charlotte would like you for a**holes at Ajax to let her off the train in the morning. Shocking, I know, that some people actually get off at stops before Union.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Pizza

The kid across from me... university-age... he's brought aboard a 12-inch pizza, in the box, and is wolfing this monster down - like he hasn't eaten in months.

The smell is driving me crazy. I almost want to offer him $2 for a slice.

I wish people wouldn't do that.

Bring delicious smelling food on the train, I mean.

And just before dinner.

I accidentally called him a bastard under my breath.

Okay, no I didn't. But I want to.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Bible

Occasionally, I see the same three people who read the Bible daily.

I often wonder about that. I only ever read it once. It took all of my Grade 10 and 11 theology classes to get through it. I don't remember it being a real page-turner. (Oh, I know I am going to burn in hell for that ... )

The Bible hasn't changed in thousands of years and unless there's an alternate ending I don't know about, I'm intrigued by those who read it over and over.

I have a five year old who watches the movies the same way. And an 89 year old grandmother.

Confession

I told my new train friend, whose name I realize I've never asked, so I'll call her Charlotte because I like that name, about this website and admitted I blog about y'all.
On a side note, the guy opposite of me needs to turn down his motivational recording on his iPod which I can hear is about learning to love yourself.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Oh

I see how it is ...
It's okay for *you* to have a bad case of the sniffles but when I casually cleared my nose, you threw me a dirty look. So I did it again and you rolled your eyes.
When you sniffled again, I pointedly offered you a tissue which you turned down.
Is there a BA people study for how to be a jerk?

Friday, May 7, 2010

Suitcase rider

Nope, rush hour is not a good time to take you and three suitcases from your vacation in Quebec City onto the train.
You can't understand why people are pissed that you've put your suitcases onto three individual seats in a quad? Did you buy three tickets?
No.
So get a clue.

When I suggested you stack them on one seat, complaining you didn't want them to fall over is not my problem.
Unreal.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Smoking

No, you are not cool standing there smoking on the platform under a big yellow sign asking people not to. Why? Because it's the damn law and it applies to everyone. How fair is that to the smokers who do comply?

What? Are you special?

Did your mom not hug you enough as a kid that you think being a rebel means you resort to sucking on a cancer stick and blowing your toxic bullsh*t into others' air space?

Laziness gives no one the right to break the law. Smoke in the parking lot and then you can join those of us who obey the law.

Jerk.

Friend

I made me a friend today on the 7:53.
See, I'm not that heartless.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Too much

For the life of me, I will never understand how people can have a full blown conversation about a dance recital, weekend plans, birthdays, mother's day and every other piece of drama going on in their life before 8 in the morning. Who are you talking to?!!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Teeth

This young guy just flossed his front teeth with the wire of his iPod headphones.

Crap

Only I would pick the worst place to sit on the train this morning and there's nowhere to move to.

No, not near the potty but at the back of the first car, near the door for the second car. Yeah. I suck.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Breath mint

Um. Yeah.

Sooo ... you know those times when a really tall person crams into the inside window seat opposite you and then decides it's time to crouch down for a power nap so their knee is massaging your crotch?

You do?

Super. That's what I rode home with tonight on the 4:53. Not only that, I had to put up with 45 yawns (I counted) all directed at me that smelled like a closet that had not been opened in years.

In fact, there were many times where if I had a Certs or a TicTac on me, I would have shot a few three pointers at his mouth and would have scored every time.

I would have also done him a favour.

Tourists

That's awesome you've taken a day out of your life in Peterborough to head to the big city of 'Torunna' for some shopping downtown. I'm so happy for you!

In fact, I know that everybody on the first floor of Coach 5125 was thrilled to learn why you hate Toronto so much and your disbelief there are people who "do this" everyday - take the train everyday. Wow, eh? By the way, ever heard of an "inside voice"?

Yes, we "do this" everyday. Sometimes twice a day. Because we work. And because the world doesn't revolve around the car. And because like you, we don't want to pay a fortune to park or sit in traffic.

You mean, you go to work everyday, too? Ohhh, but in a car ...

Amazing.