Tuesday, February 14, 2012

You asked

Here are the Valentine's Day requests for publication I got.

From: *******
Date: Tue, Feb 14, 2012 at 4:51 AM
Subject: Pls publish

Ode to Llana from Ghi

Met u on the train
Saw u had a brain
I said hey
You didn't say no way
This is when I knew
we was cool
7 years past
Babe its been a blast
U know I got u
U know u r mine
Lovin' u like Valentine

From: ***********
Date: Tue, Feb 14, 2012 at 7:21 AM
Subject: Shoutout to my honey bear

Susie, I know how much you love this crazy train. But not as much as I love you. Happy Valentine's day honey bear

From: **********
Date: Tue, Feb 14, 2012 at 10:03 AM
Subject: Valentine request

I know you hate this day but my boyfriend is a hopeless romantic. He'd get a kick if he saw a dedication from me to him on your blog.
Craig, this is our second V-Day together. I love how you always make this day special for me.

I gotta ask... If this is the second Valentine's Day you've had with Mike and last year was the first, how does he always make this day special? Is there a history there you're not sharing?

From: ***********
Date: Tue, Feb 14, 2012 at 12:58 PM
Subject: Poem for my son

I showed my son your site a while ago and I think he still reads your site so I'm hoping I can send a Valentine's Day shout out if that's ok? Have a great day Sam! Cookies are in the fridge! Mama-Love

Dear Mama-Love,
No offence but none of that rhymed. Worst poem ever.

From: ************
Date: Tue, Feb 14, 2012 at 1:03 PM
Subject: Can you publish this poem for me?

You said you wanted a car
Because the one you have doesn't get you far
I told you we'd have to wait
As we're always paying bills late
But you said get a second job
And I said isn't there a bank we can rob?
You laughed and punched my arm
And I knew you meant me no harm
But I still felt bad
And I knew you were kinda sad
So I begged, borrowed but didn't steal
So I could buy you a set of wheels
I'm come home with it tonight
It's gonna be all right
So Liz, is it a date?
I'm gonna pick you up around eight.
- K-man


C.J. Smith said...

I actually liked K-man's.

deepfish said...

...and to think I wasted all those years studying poetic voice, metre etc and developing vision and working on crafting expression and connection and intuitive spark... I stand in awe of that last poet... He is surely to poetry what Celine Dion is to rock and roll...

Squiggles said...

Ghi: seriously? It would not have killed you to actually use real words. ugh.

I liked K-mans too.

But I am kinda sad that none of these were particularly heinous. I wanted to spew coffee at the monitor with the very cheesiness of them.

Oh well, maybe next year.

ExGOnowTTC said...

We need more people who "love" CJ. Y'know, like first week contestants on the Bachelor who profess their undying true love to someone they've never met, and get voted off first week.