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Tuesday, September 8, 2015

First day back from a much needed vacation and first day of school!

I wasn't on the train today so I missed all the moms who call their teenagers to remind them to eat, bathe, find their lunch, locate their clothes, among a whole bunch of other helicopter parenting that goes on. If your kid can figure out an X-Box (or PS3) your kid can make a lunch.  If your kid is late for school, buy an alarm clock. And it's always the moms. Never the dads. Why is that?

Anyway, my kid got herself up, got dressed, made a sorry excuse for a breakfast (but at least she did it) and gathered up her stuff for grade five. I can't wait for high school, or at least a grade when I can stop paying for a babysitter... it's coming! I can almost taste it.

But I'm not here to judge anyone who feels they need to manage their children different from how I was raised, or how I intend to raise my own teenager. I don't live in your house and I certainly don't know your life. I just find the phone calls from the train fascinating. I'm sorry I missed them.

14 comments:

Squiggles said...

As I sit in the Quiet Zone, I missed any possible phone calls. But I can say that the bus and the train this morning were busy!

I must have been spoilt. Because growing up, Mom had breakfast ready for us when we came downstairs. Mostly just cereal in bowls, but she was up and saw us out the door. In some instances - like this morning - I still miss that.

C.J. Smith said...

How nice! My mom told us where there were bowls, food and milk. We fended for ourselves. Only on weekends did she make breakfast. As I was the oldest, I was responsible for making sure my two younger sisters were fed. When I hit high school, my mom never phoned me from her work to find out if I was up. Never ever.

Stan Salter said...

Welcome back. Hope you had a nice break from GO.

Anonymous said...

I really enjoyed the insanity in the Oshawa parking lot this morning. I didn't get a good look but are they re-paving the kiss and ride area plus half of the reserved parking all at once? Genius!!
B

Bicky said...

Hope your vacation was relaxing. I didn't hear much on the train yesterday but I sit upstairs.

I'm trying to remember if my mom had breakfast waiting for us on school days. I think it was a little of both, some days she did, some days we fended for ourselves.

Welcome back!

C.J. Smith said...

Vacation was excellent.

I quite enjoyed my first mom call of the week, as I sat downstairs on purpose.
It appears Dylan won't eat eggs and his mom really wants him to eat eggs and not bags of Doritos that she knows he's been doing because she's seen the stains on his jeans.

I LOVE YOU MOMS. You make the commute so enjoyable.

Anonymous said...

I'd be really interested to learn how these kids turn out, expecting their parent(s) to do everything for them.
I can only imagine when they get into the work force and have to deal with real people who won't coddle them.
Hello RUDE AWAKENING!

C.J. Smith said...

Well considering they will be surrounded by their peers and working under the very same people who coddle their own children, they should be ok.

Anonymous said...

I highly doubt it. Yes they'll be surrounded by their peers and no doubt they'll complain to their co-workers, but we'll be their bosses.

C.J. Smith said...

I don't know how old you are but I am 41 and it is my demographic 36 to 50 who is currently raising these teenagers. I have friends whose kids are finishing high school who :

a) do not make their own lunches
b) do not do laundry
c) do not do any housework

I'm not sure what drives any parent to take this kind of control or not command help or lay down rules but it won't be happening in my house.

Squiggles said...

Wow. I didn't realise it was that bad. From the age of 10, I had a stay at home Mom. But, starting at 15, we did our own laundry (we had scheduled times and if we missed it, too bad). During summer we had to cook one dinner a week, etc. We never really had a pet until we were old enough to be completely responsible for it.

But that is because the 'rents were raising self-sufficient adults. Yes, we still need some help with stuff (like learning to change a plug), but for the most part we know how to do stuff.

It makes me weep for the future.

Anonymous said...

I make all my teens their lunches but in return they all take turns making dinner. Laundry is done by me but they put their own clothes away. I have 3 girls. One just started mowing the lawn which made my husband a happy man.

Anonymous said...

Sorry CJ - I don't subscribe to this at all. You are making many assumptions about molly coddled kids. I grew up in a house full of chores and, although it wasn't just the chores as such that made me pretty miserable, they certainly didn't help. My wife happily makes our kids breakfasts, lunches and dinner - it's her way of showing love. She was from an abused home so this is something that's important too her. Our kids do small chores - walk the dog, do the cat litter, tidy their rooms - but not much beyond that.

If I was the only parent, or if my wife had a different outlook, then there would be more sharing of the chores, but that isn't the case so we go with it.

My eldest left for Uni and was quite able to fend for herself. Now she is back she does all her own laundry etc. Our kids know they, 'have it good' and they are happy to help out when asked.

I don't subscribe to this view that all kids need to have their set of household chores or else they will grow up to be useless, selfish vegetables. For sure they need to learn independence, and they need to chip in, but there are more important roles that a parent needs to take on than getting your kids to chop the vegetables.

I agree that there are some clear examples of over-parenting here - I would never call my kids at school to check on them - but all this harping on about 'I had to do this and that' sounds like a Monty Python sketch and is not an essential part of molding a responsible adult. Parenting is way more complicated than that.

C.J. Smith said...

Bravo that your kids have responsibilities and bravo to the moms who truly love doing those kinds of things for their children! It's better than what I had.