All my friends know the Bag Rider

Bag Rider likes to take over. (insert horn toot toot)
Bag Rider makes you gonna move over.

Bag Rider is a dirty turnip. (insert horn toot toot)
Bag Rider needs to go ahead and move it.

- As sung to the tune of Low Rider

Thanks to 705761XXXX for the photo. Taken on the 5:10 LSE! You know that train gone full up!

How to piss off a Bag Rider 101

from:		April C bxxxxxxxxxxx@hotmail.com
to:		cj@thiscrazytrain.com
date:		Wed, Sep 5, 2012 at 10:26 AM
subject:		How to piss off a bag rider - 101

One day about two weeks ago, I was taking the 5:20 LSE home.  The train is not crowded and there are empty seats when I boarded, however most quads had at least one person in them.  
 
You know those seats in the mid-section of the car that have all the leg room?  The ones where there are two seats, where some of the older cars have a third seat going sideways?  Well this car had no sideways seat and tons of leg room.  I have long legs so I like to sit there.  There was a lady sitting in the window seat and her bag was on the aisle seat.  I said "Excuse me please" and she shot me a look, glanced around the car and then picked up her bag.  I sat down.  About a minute later she was looking behind her, stood up and moved to another seat so she would have a seat for her bag.  
 
It was a Hudson's Bay Company bag.  It wasn't some super expensive purse that she needed to protect from the floor.  It was a paper shopping bag.  It needed its own seat.
 
I have decided that this is a fantastic way to deal with bag riders.  From now on, I will board empty trains, find the person with their bags on the seat and THAT is where I will choose to sit.  It doesn't matter if they are the only other person on the train.  It will be great fun.

Bag rider! Damn you

Snapped on the 5:20

When I see a bag rider, I think of "Mr. Cab Driver" by Lenny Kravitz. Substitute the chorus with "Mrs. Bag Rider" instead of "Mr. Cab Driver". I guarantee you'll have this stuck in your head.

Have a listen.

Foot rider

The foot rider is a cousin of the bag rider.
Like the bag rider, they travel alone and often can be found occupying the window seat on most GO trains.

Scientists believe that foot riders find it perfectly acceptable to go to bed - under the covers - in the shoes they walked all over downtown Toronto in. All the scientists I interviewed (such as my sister) can't think of any other reason why these ignorant turnips find the practice of putting their dirty and scummy feet on seats people pay good money to sit on remotely okay.

Thanks to Sammy J. for sending in the photo.

Bubble Bagger - Know your TCT Donkey

bub·ble bag·ger [Proun. buhb-uhl bag-er] - ed, -ing, -s
Cousin to the bag rider

noun

1. a GO commuter who rests personal belongings on seats surrounding his person and uses a mobile device to create personal bubble to ignore dirty looks of other commuters looking for a seat
2. a bag rider who uses a mobile device to avoid eye contact and requests to remove bags

I can see you!

Crazy train reader rider Marion C. sent this photo in. It's a difficult shot because she's trying to capture a digital pic through four panes of glazed glass but it's a dirty turnip with her feet on the seat and a bag on the seat next to her.

I know, it's hard to see her. So I drew a chalk outline.

And her bag.

Ahhh, now you see the turnip. Dirty foot rider. Cue the song! "Mrs. Bag Rider ... "

Channeling inner Cj rage - Natalie's got this

from:		Natalie
to:		CJ Smith
date:		Wed, Nov 20, 2013 at 4:50 PM
subject:		Bag (cooler) Rider TTC

Hey CJ,

I don't ride the GO anymore so you may not find this
as...triumphant...a story because it happened on the TTC but you
should know I channelled my inner-CJ this evening on my commute home.

Riding the University line from King to St. George is a little less
stuffed, rude, and is generally a nicer ride. It only adds 5 minutes
to my overall commute home but saves my sanity and for the most part I
keep to myself.

Except tonight.

As the car unloaded at Union (which when I load at King one stop prior
I have to ask people who are blocking free seats to excuse me so I can
sit, lest I be taken away in a sea of exiting commuters at Union), a
construction gentleman of 35-45 yrs proceeded to take a seat across
the aisle from me with his duffel bag and large cooler. He proceeded
to sit on an end seat next to the joint of those new subway cars, and
I figured "wonderful! He's done that so his bags are out of the way of
everyone". Sadly I was mistaken, his cooler got a seat next to him.
It's rush hour, CJ, and at the next stop no less than three people
beelined for it but never asked him to move it they simply moved on.
This is where my inner-CJ piped up.

So I asked him:
Me: why don't you put the cooler on the floor?
Him: huh?
Me: repeat what I said
Him: who cares people can sit if they want
Me: you're going to make them ask you to move the box? Don't you think
that's a little rude?
Him:
Me: no? Ok then I think it's pretty rude
Him: mumbles something, I ask him to repeat he mumbles again I ask the
woman next to me what he says, she says:
Her: why don't you get up and offer your seat then?
Me to him: because I'm a person and that's an inanimate object I think
you're being rude don't you? No? I mean you don't Have to listen but I
think it's pretty rude, I'm just saying.
Him:
Inner-CJ: haha you blinked first!!

And that was it. He never did move the cooler and the car filled up
with people none of which asked him to move it. The woman next to me
said I was brave and she'd never be able to do that. I told her
normally I would make it a point to sit in a seat like that to make
them move their shit, and I do because they should. They can huff and
puff and blow all they want but I still sit and I sit good and comfy.

I wish more people did that CJ...I really do.

-Natalie
Sent from my iPhone

from:		C.J. Smith
to:		Natalie
date:		Wed, Nov 20, 2013 at 5:01 PM
subject:		Re: Bag (cooler) Rider TTC

GIRL,
I AM PROUD OF YOU!

It's not easy to speak up and it can be nerve wracking but at least you gave him something to think about.
It is scary world out there but how did it get this way? Because we stopped asserting ourselves, in my opinion.
Bag riders and foot riders are bullies. It's a form of intimidation or at most, a marking of territory. No different than a dog pissing on every bush at the dog park to show all this space is mine. Instead of pee, folks like construction guy use personal belongings.
We all need to show more alpha male!

from:		Natalie
to:		"C.J. Smith"
date:		Wed, Nov 20, 2013 at 5:07 PM
subject:		Re: Bag (cooler) Rider TTC

Thanks!!

I totally agree with you, the lack of assertion happening not just with this but a ton of things is frightening. My mother taught me to stand up and speak up for myself and at the tender age of 4 I did that when I was cut in front of while waiting to order my chocolate milk at Arby's. Dude knew better too, and the cashier didn't see me!

I think that people need to stand up for themselves but I also think they shouldn't have to. Catch 22 I suppose.

Le sigh, I felt better and he refused to look at me again...small victories.

Bag rider of the week

When: Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Boarded Train at: 7:49 am Oshawa
Length of time bag rode on seat: Until Ajax
Accompanied by: Black Jacket
Removed: When the seat was the only one available and a rider asked for the bag to be removed with a polite, but curt, "Excuse me".

Evidence shown below.

Hey, how about we make your bag more comfortable for the morning ride? Here's a bottle of Coke.

And for when it gets hungry, here's some peanuts.

And for when it gets bored, here's an iPod and some funky headphones.

There you go. Now you just relax ... shhh, don't talk. Just let me look at you.

Ballad of the foot rider

Tonight.

8:13pm LSE train from Union.

I sat down in a quad, by myself, and was soon joined by a woman, who, just past Danforth, slipped out of her loafers and laid her stocking feet on the seat next to me. Lord have mercy. Do I have to describe the stench? It was somewhere between stale Doritos and the smell of the water after you've boiled corn.

So I got up and moved. I also took a photo which I lovingly share with you below.

Settled into another quad, I was now seated across from a bag rider/foot rider combo who had her running shoes up on the seat in front of her.

I didn't even try to hide that I was taking pictures of these women.

The running shoe beast was busy texting and listening to her iPod. At one point, when she began to push her feet onto the foot cushion, grinding her filth into the fabric, she caught my eye and I nodded, to say I wanted to talk to her. She pulled out her earplugs and I asked if her running shoes were new, to which she replied, "No, do you like them?" I said, "No, not really, but they shouldn't be on the seat".

She got up in a huff, all pissed that I said something and lumbered her way upstairs.

Mission accomplished.

Observations from this morning's LSE

Just gonna throw these out there:

1. Go newbies. Saw one this morning with a black blanket draped from her neck to her feet. Neck pillow. Black, rounded, sunglasses. All settled nice and cozy in an outside seat of a quad. Originating in Oshawa. Too bad she didn't realize how many times she'd have to move that blanket and herself to let three people sit in her quad as they boarded at Whitby, Ajax and Pickering. Perhaps she should have taken VIA.

2. Man in white t-shirt and jeans, holding a laptop briefcase on his lap, quietly weeping and looking incredibly sad. Either his wife left him or he's suffering from allergies somethin' fierce. At one point, I did want to approach him but second-guessed myself. What the hell would I have said? "Dude, I hate this fucking train ride as much as you, but this too, shall pass."

3. I tried in vain to get a photo but I saw my first Bike Rider. No, not a Bag Rider or a Foot Rider, but a person who brought his big, mountain bike on-board the 7:53-Oshawa (which GO politely asks people not do) and parked it so the handlebars hogged the backrest of an outside quad seat. No one at Whitby, Ajax or Pickering asked him to move his bike, choosing instead to stand near the doors. Hey buddy, that's where your bike should have been moved to once the train became express.

What the hell?

A foot rider, a bag rider and a foot rider apparently blown clear off the train because I don't see a body attached to those shoes.

---

This dirty turnip put the shoes he's wearing on the seat, his backup pair on the other seat and added bags for good measure.

Awesome!

Submitted by text message to 9054420352

"But my feet are only on the edge..." and other cries of protests from foot and bag riders

from:		L, A
to:		"Cindy (Cj) Smith"
date:		Wed, Apr 27, 2016 at 6:47 PM

OK, here's the scene. A packed rush-hour train. She is among the last to board upstairs, has a large roller briefcase (because of course). 

The only seat in our quad is right across from me (next to the window) but she can't sit there with the enormous bag so the woman in the aisle seat generously offers to switch. That woman is a saint. Pleasantries all around. 

Bag lady decides to leave her bag in the aisle anyway, even though there's room under the seat. 

When we hit Oakville, the rider across from her departs. Bag lady hauls her bag from the aisle onto the seat and then perches her shoes on the seat.

I wait a minute or so and ask politely, "Could you please take your feet off the seat?" She stares at me like I just asked her to remove a prosthetic leg. I continue: "Your shoes are dirty and we all have to sit on these seats."

She says, "My feet are only on the edge. What does it matter?"

I say, "Well, it does matter. Also, there's a bylaw and you could get fined."

"Uh-huh, sure," she says, flashing me a side-eye that was simply outrageous. 

She moves her feet off the seat with a sigh. I say, "Do you really not understand why that's inappropriate?"

"I just don't see what the problem is, or why you care."

I went back to ponder the meaning of human existence. 

Bag Rider - Know Your TCT Donkey

bag rid·er [Proun. bag ri-der] - ing, -s
Cousin to the bubble bagger

noun

1. a GO commuter who uses the seats immediately beside or across from one's self to place bags on
2. Also used to describe GO commuters who use the seats as luggage racks
3. a GO commuter who places one's belongings on several seats, specifically during rush hour, and then becomes super annoyed when another commuter asks to sit

Blurry evidence reveals bag riding/space hogging/seat blocking is a transit-wide problem even when luggage space is available

Via BlackBerry Messenger

Skin Man: Heading to Aldershot on the VIA, and I realize no one has spoken about their experiences yet on TCT.

Before I describe tonight's fun a little preamble.

VIA is akin to air travel than GO commuting. However, there are at least 50% of the travelers commuting from T.O. to Aldershot or Brantford. I only travel about twice a month this way, as it's double the cost of GO, but better seats and the speed is awesome.

Anyway, being more like air travel, we are treated to the lilting sounds of the french tongue from passengers and CSAs, lots of luggage, families, and of course (always) a ticket check.

So here's tonight's low down....tonight (Oct. 27) we have bag riders (see photo), foot riders, super-onion sub eaters and seat blockers.

I suppose I have to forgive the food eaters as we are travelling to more points west (Windsor) but every other perpetrator of anti-social behavior should be ashamed.

I chose a seat with a bag rider and seat blocker on purpose, who was pleasant about moving herself and her stuff. At least we can celebrate "Gin o'clock" on the VIA.

---

The only thing I focused on when reading this message was the alcohol. Hot damn.

If I were more fancy, I'd take the VIA train home from Union to Oshawa every night just for the fact that I could drink the whole train ride. Then I would stumble onto the 91 GO bus for a drunken ride home.

Steve's bag rider

Submitted by email to cj@thiscrazytrain.com

The story behind this guy on the Barrie train (which is ALWAYS packed) is that I told him while we were waiting at Union to leave that he should get his bag off the seat as the train fills up fast and gets crowded. Get this, he told me he was saving the seat for his friend. He told this to at least 7 people and even one woman told him off because after we started moving, she asked him to move his backpack because his friend wasn't on the train. He ignored her and turned his music up.

So we made fun of him and his "imaginary" friend the whole train ride. What a douche.

I'd never seen this guy before so he's obviously a daytripper. I was tempted to move his bag for him.

Love letter about a foot rider/bag rider/all your space/all your stink

from:		ram
to:		cj@thiscrazytrain.com
date:		Fri, Dec 5, 2014 at 6:34 PM
subject:		Wow, Double donkey...

‎Not only is she occupying two seats because of her feet, her bags are all over the 'quad'.

I had to move to this hell hole, because the guy across from me smelled too much like darker noir and made my sinuses go nuts.

WTF is with people bathing in shit cologne on the train anyway? Not that anyone cares, but I have a hyper-sensitivity to perfumes...

B

Foot Rider - Know Your TCT Donkey

foot rid·er [Proun. foot ri-der] - ing, -s
A close relative of the bag rider

noun

1. a GO commuter who puts one's shoes up on the seat across from them
2. a GO commuter who uses the seat opposite them as a footstool
3. a GO commuter who twists his or her body to use a two-seater like a love seat and props one's feet up on the seat (see below)

Let's start the week off with some "NO!" Shall we?

Photo courtesy of LK who was barricaded by this foot rider (and bag rider) as she sat in the seat near the window. LK was surrounded by this woman's legs, baggage and jacket.

Looks like someone forgot to wear their Teflon coated shoes this morning

And just think, we get to pay more in fare in February and still endure this crap behaviour.

I know GO Transit customers feel Metrolinx should start fining for this infraction, but up in Ottawa, it's proven that despite signs that clearly state footriding is a $125 fine, this happens:

from:		Alex
to:		"cj@thiscrazytrain.com"
date:		Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 12:19 AM
subject:		Scourge of the Foot Riders Spreads (Hat-trick!)

CJ,

Living in Ottawa, I thought I was relegated to reading your blog to get my daily dose of donkey disobedience. Sure, Ottawa has the O-Train, even equipped with quad seating, but the average ride is only 7 minutes and the longest 20. There just isn't a huge incentive to put one's feet up on the seats, and the short trip makes the occasional bag rider a non-issue. Generally it's an enjoyable experience.

This all changed this week however. With the snow, suddenly everyone has the irresistible urge to wipe their slush covered feet off on the edge of the seat across from them. Getting pictures has been a bit of a trick, but I have finally managed to capture my greatest infraction yet. Of course it was a bit sunny but I think the picture shows it. Three girls (all wearing UGGs of course) were sitting in a quad. The girl that is closest to the camera was originally next to the girl in the green sweatshirt. Not visible in the picture is the third girl in the quad across the aisle, also with her feet on the seat next to hers. Also note the condition of the train floor, covered in salt and sand to be wiped off on the seats. I would normally place my backpack out of the way of the camera when taking a picture, but I didn't want to put it on the floor.

This third girl was originally sitting across from the other two, until she discovered the extreme comfort of sitting sideways with your feet squarely on the seat next to yours (there is no central armrest like the GO BiLevels, but there is one at the aisle). At this point she was kind enough to give up her seat and move to the (unfortunately) empty quad across the aisle, so her friends could join her in stretching out for the remainder of their journey. At this point the one in the green sweater decided to document this new position with a large camera, I assume so she can share it on Instagram later. Of course the other girl in the picture was also social and broke out her phone to take a photo of her friend with her feet up while taking a photo of her with her feet up.

This level of social media-ing was simply too much for me to handle and my stop was next so unfortunately I didn't see how this ended. I would bet that they never noticed the sticker between every window on the train though.

from:		C.J. Smith
to:		Alex
date:		Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 7:22 AM
subject:		Re: Scourge of the Foot Riders Spreads (Hat-trick!)

There is a FINE for putting feet on the seats!?
Can you tell me how this is enforced?
As for your story, I think my head exploded.

from:		Alex
to:		"C.J. Smith"
date:		Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 9:29 AM
subject:		RE: Scourge of the Foot Riders Spreads (Hat-trick!)

Apparently there is a fine, but I have never seen a ticket issued. Like GO (I think), OCTranspo has both Fare Inspectors and Special Constables. I have only ever seen the fare inspectors on the platforms, but once the Special Constables did come through the train to check tickets, and another time they just wandered past. I imagine they would be the ones to give the tickets, but I've never witnessed it. The only staff member always on the train is the driver, and they can't issue fines. I don't doubt that they would tell a foot rider off though if they ever saw it.

The good news is that there is a new plan in 2014 for the special constables to get out of their cars and actually ride the buses and trains (genius, I know). Hopefully this means more enforcement of the foot rule.

And yes, I wasn't sure how to tell the story clearly. I considered giving the three girls names to make it clearer, but in the end couldn't come up with enough good ones.

Bag rider - Owned on the 4:53

4:44 - Backpack placed on seat.

4:47 - Several people pass by, some annoying glances are given, but no one asks for the bag to be moved.

4:49 - Lady in gray pants picks the backpack up off the seat and asks the two ladies whose it is. She pointedly asks, "Does this backpack belong to one of you?"
Lady on the aisle seat says it's hers and Lady in gray pants asks, "Are you saving this seat for someone because these trains are first come first serve". And she puts the backpack down on the floor.

And she didn't even sit in the seat! Just beside it!

It was solid gold. I love her.