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Thursday, April 7, 2011

The almost epic meltdown of the LSE's very own Super Jesus

Lovingly penned by Martini via email
To: cj@thiscrazytrain.com

Hey CJ!
Remember this lovely video I sent you? http://www.thiscrazytrain.com/2010/12/yes-there-really-is-santa-claus.html

A little back story: I have seen the guy in the video wearing these really elaborate t-shirts that look like they're from a rock concert, but they're really these hardcore Jesus shirts. One day I witnessed him reading from the bible to a lady he was with (the only time I've seen him with someone). She professed that it was much too early for bible readings and thankfully shut him up. Due to these things, my friend and I have dubbed him "Super Jesus".

I've also witnessed him pounding on his chest like a gorilla which is completely unrelated, yet strangely hilarious.

Anyway, this morning my friend and I were sitting near him and from what I could see (it was a strange angle), someone got on and accidentally hit his newspaper out of his hand. The guy apologized to him right away and Super Jesus just started glaring at the poor guy. The poor guy then picked up the stuff he was just getting organized and took off very quickly. Could ya blame him?

Super Jesus sat in his seat for a while stewing over the fact that he lost his place in his newspaper and uttered an expletive.

At one of the next stops, someone else got on and sat next to him. My friend and I noticed the back of his hoodie said something to do with "F***ing Metal" (uncensored of course). We both laughed about how Super Jesus would not approve but then remembered he just swore to himself not a few minutes earlier. Metal Boy put on his loud headphones blaring metal (of course) which put Super Jesus into a complete rage.

He started to grip his ears and bent over and made a really loud angry sigh which clearly concerned the girl sitting directly behind him who looked at us completely startled.

Super Jesus continued to do this for a while and my friend was ready with his Blackberry to capture the epic, complete meltdown of the Super Jesus of the LSE.

I'll be honest. I was a little scared. I think he had some weird zen thing going on though, because eventually he stopped making a scene and went downstairs when we got to Union, politely thanking Metal Boy for moving.

The meltdown was close, but I'm officially on Super Jesus Meltdown Watch 2011. I guess even the crazy people get annoyed with things like large backpacks and loud earphones.

P.S. I really hope Super Jesus doesn't read your blog! haha No really...he kind of scares me.

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

Please, please, PLEASE make Super Jesus be the next logo version for your banner? Please?

C.J. Smith said...

Version 8 I already promised to someone else's idea.

Version 9 will definitely be yours.

Anonymous said...

Between your site and the Shoutouts, I don't know how I would survive the commuter bullshit if neither existed. Thank god for this crazy train.

To Martina, this was hilarious. LOL!!!!

Brenda said...

This website is 1000 times better than the Shoutouts. Sorry.

Dan-1 said...

And it is said in one of the good books: "He will smite all thee listening to rock music, and replace thy Van Halen and Def Leppard with ABBA and the Spice Girls".

Meredith said...

Just discovered this website today. Wasted over three hours on it and am now addicted! This is so incredibly entertaining, please keep up the good work. Hopefully Martina has more Super Jesus stories -- highlarious.

Martina said...

I see Super Jesus almost every day, so I'm sure there will be more where this came from!

Anonymous said...

It's pretty low to make fun of the mentally ill, don't you think?

kristin said...

You know what's lower? Assuming those of us who are really into Jesus (I listen to Christian-Rock music) are mentally ill.

I found this post funny and if I'm on a site like this, I suspect I have to be pretty open-minded to other people's opinions, right?

Jackass.

Al said...

The best emblem of this Jesus fish I ever saw was attached to a car,
The emblem had 4 little legs and inside the fish it said "Darwin"

Just awesome.

Al said...

The world is a funny place.

You have a couple of people running around preaching things the majority dont believe and they are called crazy, get a couple million preaching and they call them Catholics.

Al said...

Correction - so to avoid offending the catholics out there,

*get a couple million preaching and they call them religious.

Anonymous said...

Kristin
What I meant was it is obvious to me that this man has issues and if he is mentally ill he probably wouldn't appreciate that there are people calling him Super Jesus because he likes to do bible readings on the train. Most people who observe religion do so quietly and those who project in public places where it's not considered normal behaviour could be lacking the mental capacity to know that it's not the right time to do so.

Anonymous said...

To Anonymous Goof:
I read my Bible on the train. Sometimes I will even read a line or two out loud, softly, because I feel what I am reading. I completely take offense to your belief that those of us who preach or teach religion in a public place are mentally ill.

C.J. Smith said...

Jerry! ... Jerry! ... Jerry!

(someone needs to throw a folding chair)

Anonymous said...

All of my comments have now been taken out of context. The original story about this man points out other characteristics about him that could be considered mental acts of instability or some kind of bi-polar disorder which is a serious illness and not one to poke fun at. I don't care what religion he believes in but usually most people do consider those who are open about Jesus in public to be somewhat unstable.

C.J. Smith said...

Dude. You may just want to stop talking.

My mama always said there are three topics in this world you should never discuss in a crowd:

politics, religion and sex

You're just wasting your time.

Please, don't ruin Super Jesus for me. I want to believe.

Kristin said...

What CJ said.

Al said...

I thought it was religion, polotics and sports.

Although to some guys, sports/sex, same thing.

Martina said...

He seems more eccentric than mentally ill, but then again, I'm not a doctor. The events I wrote about are isolated incidents after months (maybe even years now) of often riding on the same car. I don't really think a short list of strange events is enough info to determine if someone is mentally ill... I just write it as I see it. I also have names for other people such as the Slurper (lady who slurps her coffee all the time, always eats 3 bites of whatever food she has and wraps the rest up for later. Her chewing is also hypnotic - Friend and I have contemplated whether or not she knows how truly fascinating she is. lol) and the Glaring Disapprover (she hates the Slurper and glares at her in complete disgust every time she slurps or chews). I'm sure they wouldn't appreciate the nicknames either, but that's what we do to keep ourselves sane on the crazy train everyday. Besides, this site isn't called "Ride the Mentally Stable Train" right? :P