Wednesday, April 9, 2014

To quote Dr. Evil, "Let me tell you a little story about a man named Sh!"

Oh the Quiet Zone. How I hate what you've become - a playground for passengers with pent-up passive aggressive anger issues and for those who don't give a shit about anyone but themselves.

I wear headphones. I gave up on the Quiet Zone even before there was a Quiet Zone. I learned early on that some people can't help themselves and the worse, THE WORSE, are the helicopter mothers. The ones who phone their teenage children at stupid o'clock in the morning to drill them on whether they are out of bed, found the clean underwear left on the tea cart in the living room, if they got breakfast going, brushed their teeth, put their lunch in their backpack, grabbed the spare key, fed the dog, wiped their ass and ARGH! ARGH! ARGH! and ARGH! My mother never phoned me any morning of my high school life to make sure I was up, fed and dressed. NOT EVEN ONCE. If I couldn't find my underwear at 14, I sure as hell wouldn't be holding down a job at 24. I don't know... I don't know about today's parents of teenagers. Mind you, I have a daughter with autism spectrum disorder. Maybe I will have to hover? I don't plan on it, though. I grew up with a mentally disabled sister. My mom sure as hell didn't hover over her - at least nothing like what I have witnessed on the train via these one-sided phone calls.

All the Quiet Zone did was force these moms to the lower level, but there are still the moms who don't give a shit and still make the calls. I sat next to one this morning who started her call in the Rouge Hill dead zone. All I needed to hear was, "Hello? Hello!!! We're breaking up. HELLO!? Did you find the orange juice?" and I was out. I turned up the volume on my episode of Sons of Anarchy and disappeared.

I get, on average, one to two emails a week (same with text messages) from passengers pissed off at people who can't shut up or who sit right under the Quiet Zone sign and conduct loud conversations on topics nobody gives a rat's ass about. But yesterday was a special day. There must have been something in the air because I received an email and two simultaneous text messages all around the same time and another email this morning.

from: DR
date: Tue, Apr 8, 2014 at 7:41 AM
subject: Quiet zone

7:15 am LSE express to Union.
25 min later of talking about trailers, the conversation continues...

from: J
date: Tue, Apr 8, 2014 at 5:55 PM
subject: Welcome to the quiet zone on the Kitchener line

Where people take three seats with their crap, foot ride (at least the shoes are off) and have 25 minute phone conversations at volume 11.
I want all the chainsaws....
Would prefer to remain anonymous,  please.

Text Exchange Number One

Text Exchange Number Two
(What makes this one funny is this is a friend of mine, but I didn't know that at first)


Anonymous said...

this is both angering and hilarious <3

Bicky said...

Ah the Quiet Zone. The bane of many existences.

Someone should let GO Transit know it's not a complete success. Perhaps they're unaware there are near beat-downs about to happen. Maybe the person who got that LSE rep position that was just advertised and filled can mention it.

Funny texts.

Unknown said...

This week some freak stabbed his HR and coworkers cuz he was terminated.
Next weeks headlines: "GOing crazy for quiet zones.
30 people injured and 3 under arrest after a GO train incident turns the 'quiet zone' into a bloody scene of violence, after one crazed passenger pulls out a chain saw to deal with talkers. More at 11pm."

C.J. Smith said...

Really!? CHAINSAW?! You had to go there?!

jenc said...

I've sat in quiet zone with my kids on weekends and one is ASD and he's quieter than most people up there! Went once during rush hour during march break, I felt bad, but the kids were so well behaved! Better than most adults I see on there!

C.J. Smith said...

Hi Jen
The quiet zone is only in effect on weekdays during evening and morning rush hour. Weekends are no quiet zone. My daughter has ASD and is naturally quiet, a blessing I guess, but typically most kids are well behaved on trains l find.