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Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Sleep-induced imaginary eating. I has it.

This graphic would be more effective if her eyes were closed but it's copyrighted and I can't edit it because Corbis would sue me for billions of dollars.

I'm paranoid about falling asleep on the train.

Part of it stems from NO ONE WAKING ME UP one evening nearly three years ago and I rode all the way back to Union Station FROM OSHAWA to find myself sitting in an empty car in the yard outside Union Station IN TORONTO. Worst night of my life and I don't want to experience that again.

I honestly don't understand why my brain does this but when I do drift off, I always seem to dream about eating something.

One time I startled myself awake after I pantomimed putting a forkful of imaginary veal parmigiana in my mouth. I also caught myself one time actually chewing a non-existent hamburger in my slumber. Maybe it's because I don't eat breakfast until I get to work and I take the train home at a time in the evening where my brain expects dinner.

I caught myself nodding off yesterday morning and I know I was putting an imaginary waffle in my mouth and was just about to start chewing when I forced myself awake.

I can only imagine what this looks like to people sitting near me - this crazy lady eating imaginary food in her sleep, actually shoving an imaginary fork in her mouth and chewing. Good times, I'm sure.

I quickly did some research and apparently "imaginary eating", according to National Geographic Magazine, is a good thing and can help one to lose weight. However, I couldn't find anything about sleep-induced imaginary eating. This must mean I am crazy.

9 comments:

mike said...

Yep. Definitely wierd. Do you find that it does help with food cravings?

What would be funny is if you dreamed a whole table in front of you complete with plate, knife and wine glass and had imaginary dinner conversations with imaginary guests.

TomW said...

I suggest always setting your phone alarm to the time five mins after the train is due to arrive.

Also, what happened after you woke up in the yard?

Anonymous said...

BA HA HAHA

you are such a loser, CJ but you make me laugh.

C.J. Smith said...

I wanted to call 1888GETONGO on my cell and scream that "I'm a large white girl stuck in a train!" but instead once I realized where I was as I was so disoriented, I pressed the emergency strip. The lights were on which meant someone was on the train, and people were, as it was due for a cleaning. I was escorted off the train and onto the track and then eventually onto a platform at Union where I waited for the last train of the night to head back to Oshawa.

michelle said...

Why would you call someone a loser?

What are you? 12?

kary said...

Years ago I got on a GO bus from Pickering to Oshawa. I didn't think anything of the fact that after the Ajax stop, I was the only person on the bus, until the bus got on the 401 and the driver started singing opera, very loudly. Apparently Ajax was the last stop, and the driver was taking the bus to a yard in Oshawa. Man was he surprised to see me!
Anyway, he drove me home. Right to my front door. Nice guy.

C.J. Smith said...

@kary
Total win.

Anonymous said...

CJ
You just gonna let this person call you a loser?

mark

C.J. Smith said...

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, including the village idiot.