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Friday, October 2, 2015

Well this stung...

from:Marie Z 
to:cj@thiscrazytrain.com
date:Fri, Oct 2, 2015 at 7:01 AM
subject:Wednesday night suicide
Hi CJ
I've been a longtime fan. Even follow you on twitter but I have to say, you really should be more mindful of the optics when you proclaim a suicide is a cause for celebration by announcing drinks and rallying the troops for "drannnnnk" as you said on twitter...
My son ended his life 10 years ago and I will admit I am sensitive to these matters.
I wouldn't write you if I didn't support what you do and your website. But just in future if the delay is because a pedestrian got killed, let's not celebrate it with a round of drinks.

MZ

Deeply hurt by this email, I went through my tweets from Wednesday and no where could I find any tweet where I wrote I was celebrating a suicide. 

19 comments:

ChocLabLover said...

I think she may have misunderstood your intention of getting drinks as a way to pass the time while waiting for the investigation to complete and the trains to move again. She admits she is sensitive (which is understandable) and I think just read it the wrong way.

C.J. Smith said...

Still hurtful.
Any of you who have read this site for more than a year know that my ex ended his life. Suicide is not something I would ever make fun of so when she said "longtime fan" ... for how long? So I guess I'm sensitive too.

Anonymous said...

"proclaim suicide is a cause for celebration"

That's a pretty heavy handed accusation. I couldn't make it to Jack Astors as I was on the 4:07 but no where did CJ mentions "dranks" and "suicide" in the same sentence.

Jes P said...

Marie
I'm sorry about your son. My cousin committed suicide when I was 13 and he was 15. I think about him all the time. And yes, it does make us sensitive.
I went drinking with CJ the night the guy killed his GF and then threw himself in front of a train. It was clear it was drinks to pass the time rather than fight thousands of people on the subway.
Please don't make it more than it was on Wednesday. I hope you and CJ can hug some puppies and be friends again

Anonymous said...

my opinion? both you and marie are way too sensitive.
and you and marie should go drinking!

Jules said...

I think anyone who is a long time fan should know that this was never your intention. I think there was a pretty big misinterpretation on her behalf,sensitive or not. There was no disrespect whatsoever.

J. Allan said...

I haven't been a follower for all that long, but I clearly recall you mentioning drinks to pass the time the last time that the LSE had a multi-hour delay. I think it was at the Keg that time.

This definitely seems like a misinterpretation.

Squiggles said...

Did we even know at the time that it was a suicide?

Anyway, I was at Jack Astors that night with CJ and never got to the point of celebration. It was to pass the time and get something to eat before we could make it home.

C.J. Smith said...

Yep. It was the Keg and it was never meant more than passing time. I don't celebrate train delays. Who does?

C.J. Smith said...

No. I don't think so. It was never on a our radar.

TomW said...

Eeek. Did you reply?

C.J. Smith said...

I did. The reply is the same as in the post. If she reads the blog as she claims to she will see it here, too.

I need to borrow one of my sister's puppies.

Anonymous said...

You are being too lenient and understanding of this letter writer.

Just because someone has suffered through some awful experience does not give them the right to lecture the planet on how to behave. What happened to you is not my fault. If you look hard enough for prejudices and insensitivity you will find them everywhere. I used to be a nurse and Christ, there isn't a disease on the planet I haven't made a joke out of. We laugh so we can cope. It's not personal, it's not deliberate and it's not cruel. Start thinking better about people please. You'll give yourself a headache.

Marie Z said...

Haven't been on your site since last week and I knew I took a risk in emailing and that my email would wind up on the site which I completely understand. Thank you for not sharing my email address. I have sent you another email but would also like to respond here. I did not mean to hurt your feelings. I did not know you have also been touched by suicide and I must have missed that post.
My point was more about optics which you are still not comprehending. If I were the mother of the person killed, I would expect condolences and maybe more subtle suggestions for how to spend the delay without all caps cries for alcohol.
I really wish you could see it from my angle.

Anonymous said...

Marie, I am so sorry about what happened to your son - I hope that I never have to experience the pain you must have gone through. However, in fairness to CJ, it is possible that she was not aware of the reason behind the delay when she posted her tweets.

C.J. Smith said...

I HAD NO IDEA!!!

Anonymous said...

Here's the thing, Marie. YOU stated you are sensitive about this topic. CJ has clarified as have others that her tweet was not about the incident regarding the train fatality. YOU implied it was. Then YOU email again crying about "the optics" and claiming that CJ still doesn't understand. Let me tell you something, she understands. If YOU feel that she doesn't care or wasn't upset by YOUR email, then that's YOUR problem.

For the love of Cheez-its! Put your big girl panties on and realize that the world is not out to get YOU. Before you start on about how I could never understand, I'll tell you that you need to shut it down because I've been through my share of pain, loss and extreme tragedy. But I also know that people aren't trying to hurt me with every word or action.

I have an uncle who lost a limb due to a construction accident, should I be offended every time CJ asks for "all the chainsaws" because some douche nugget put their feet up on the seats? Of course not. That would be stupid and a waste of time and energy. Instead, I see it as a way to express frustration in a humourous way and she is not making comment on my uncle or revelling in joy and merriment because he lost a limb.

To sum up: You misinterpreted something and completely projected your issues on to something that never happened. In turn, you made someone feel horrible about something that NEVER HAPPENED. She explained that, other people involved in the event explained that, you still wish she would "see it from your angle". See it from this angle; none of this freaking HAPPENED! The tweet was not about someone's unfortunate death, it was not about drinking in celebration of it, and it was most certainly not about you, or your optics. It was about a board showing a train delay (which could be anything from a goose attack to flying chainsaws) and a group of friends who decided to pass the time in a much more productive way than assuming the train delay was personal and might affect the optics for someone who is over sensitive and had a chip on their shoulder.

C.J. Smith said...

^ You mean like this?

http://www.thiscrazytrain.com/2011/08/you-cant-be-serious.html

Cut and paste that link. Do it.

Anonymous said...

Ahhhhhh! My eyes! This person deserves a chainsaw based on the spelling alone.