Tuesday, November 9, 2010

I asked, you answered. What irritates you most about the people you ride with?

Back on October 21st, I asked you to write in about what drove you batsh*t crazy about other commuters.

Hands down, the best contribution came in from a guy named Fred who wrote out a nice Top 10 list which I will share with you below:

1. People who can't get to the train on time, GO is not obligated to wait for you. Good bye.

2. People who talk louder than needed on mobile phones. Use your indoor voice. Plus, no one cares about your life so keep it short. Porkchops for dinner? F---ing A. End of call.

3. If you snore, you are not allowed to sleep. Period. If you're not sure, go home tonight and ask your family. If they say yes, invest in Red Bull for the ride going forward. If you don't have any family, set up a video camera and tape yourself sleeping. Review the footage. If you snore, see Red Bull comment above.

4. That seat across from you and beside you is exactly that, a seat. It is not your personal footstool, couch, chair, bed, etc. Don't try to skirt the issue by removing your shoes. Unless I've been in your home to inspect how clean your floors are, I will assume your feet are carrying bacteria that I do not wish to touch or have transferred onto my body. So keep your feet on the floor. Always.

5. Yes, it's absolutely tragic when the train is full and you have to stand. Why the Red Cross has not gotten involved yet in this crisis beseeches me too, but if you are left to stand, please move your ass to the centre of the train. Those holes in the back of the seats are designed for your hands to grip onto. This marvelous invention is available on every single train. I realize it seems incredibly intimate to put your hand mere inches from a stranger's head but consider how close you sit next to someone on days you were lucky to snag a seat, your reluctance is moot. Move.

6. Bags, suitcases, hockey sticks, golf bags, gym bags, backpacks, rolling bags, coats, gifts, paperwork, laptops, your dog ... don't get to ride on the seat beside you or across from you at anytime if there is more than 10 people on the train with you. Especially when the train is boarding. If you ride every f---ing morning on the train from Ajax like I do, you know the train gets full. If you're one of those people who get on at Oshawa, do us all a favour and move your sh*t once you're settled, not when I get on and look at you to do so. Don't make me ask.

7. Show me one person who hasn't had a bad day at the office and I'll show you my pet flying pig. So far, he's not been introduced to a soul. No matter how sucky your day was or how many reports you had to bind or how many times you had to edit a file, guess what? I don't give a rat's ass. Neither do the 20 people around you. So if you're going to bitch about your crappy day, talk to your corridor homies in church voice. In fact, behave like you do in church on the train and we should all get along fine.

8. Your kids aren't on their way to f---ing Disneyland so tell the little buggers to sit down and sit still. There's no need for any kid to be slapping the windows, jumping up and down on seats or running down the aisles. Teach them to be respectful of other people. Everyone is paying to ride and the bylaws restrict this behaviour. If you can't get your kids to behave, then you better find a babysitter because your kids don't deserve to be out in public.

9. That's awesome you've managed to download the latest Beyonce song from iTunes and are playing it on your MP3 player at a volume that forces all of us to hear it for free, but we most certainly don't want to hear you sing along. Most people appear to be tone deaf, pitchy and dreadful singers. Trust me when I say you are a legend in your mind. No one's clapping.

10. Just like you, I also want to get home. Charging the doors, stairs and parking lot doesn't make you get home faster. Nearly running people over as you race to line up to get out of the parking lot is ignorant, selfish and dangerous. Smarten up.

You can read the rest of the contributions here.


Anonymous said...

Yep. Fred pretty much nailed it.

Anonymous said...

yup this covers it.
I remember on the Barrie North train once, this girl was sitting in an aisle seat and her purse was sitting on the window seat beside her.
the train filled up very fast, and people started to resort to sitting on the stairs... then i looked over and sure enough this cow's bag was still on the seat beside her.. all these people were too shy or something to say anything..
then this business man came over and pointed at the seat, "can you move that please?"
her, "theres nowhere to put it, sorry"
him, "there are no seats put it on your lap or get off the train and take the next one"
she moved it..
i wish everyone had the balls that guy did... our train ride would be as we'd like, plus the go train costs would be town, taxes wouldn't be so ridiculously high and we'd all have a better job!

Anonymous said...

The only one I would disagree with is #10. I always used to make fun of the parking lot dashers on the way home. However, one day I tried it, and I saw the light. If you're one of the first dozen or so, you don't have to wait 10 minutes to get out of the parking lot. You're not waiting 3 cycles of traffic lights to get to the main road, and you're not in the congestion to get on the highway.

I won't knock people over, but I will dash and try to make it out of the parking lot before the rush. However, this all changes in the winter and I will spend the time to make sure my vehicle is properly free of snow before the drive home.

TomW said...

@Anonymous(9:09): If everyone walked to their car, no-one would need to run.

Better yet, take the bus. The bus loop at most stations has a seperate exit, or failing that, the buses will be able to queue jump most cars.
With this time advantage, the bus probably takes abotu the same time as driving - plus someone else drives you! Oh, and it costs ~65c if you have a GO ticket. (Try finding another chauffeur for that price).

Anonymous said...

I Agree with TomW
I took the bus for a month while my car was out on loan.
The bus dropped me off right in front of the doors!! No more parking and walking for 10 min to the station.
and yah, .65 for the whole bus ride to the station.. probably the cost just to start my car!

Anonymous said...

Tom, I take the Hamilton HSR to the Hamilton bus in the morning, but on the way home I get off at Burlington and meet the better half and we drive back home, and yes I use the city sticker on my pass for the HSR.

Also, if everyone walked, then everyone would get to their cars at the same time, and you'd still be in a traffic jam. I use 3 different modes of public transportation in the morning, and 2 on the trip home, so I am trying to do my part.

RonNasty said...

I've taken the bus a few times, but I have to leave a half hour earlier to catch my usual train. The bus rides are almost as entertaining as the Crazy Train rides. I once rode a bus with a jet engine. It sounded like a jet engine and the bus driver drove like it was one too.

gary said...

I once rode a bus with a jet engine. It sounded like a jet engine and the bus driver drove like it was one too


Been on that bus myself!

Anonymous said...

"Yes, it's absolutely tragic when the train is full and you have to stand."

What I wonder is, how long will it be until we have to start riding India-style (i.e. train so full that people are clinging to the outside)?