Monday, November 1, 2010

Is it drafty in here or is it just me?

Submitted by Mike P. via email to

A big, HUGE thank you to all the dirty turnips who couldn't spare a single second out of your ride home on the LSE 5:10pm train Friday to tell me the fly on my jeans was wide open and my red boxers were clearly visible. I WAS STANDING. GIVING EVERYONE A SHOW!

I recently had my hair cut and I figured that was the reason why so many ladies were checking me out.

When I got home my wife glanced at me and said, "Honey, your fly's down". It was more than just down, the zipper was busted. I thought I felt something as I was busting a nut running to Union but didn't do the "crotch-swipe-check-slide" hand check.


Mike, this is worthy of a Shout Out in that newspaper that people only read for the Shout Outs. Please send.


Denise said...

Nobody told you because when you're with your band of idiots who must have taken the 4:53, no one likes you.

Karma's a bitch, Mike.

Linda said...

Looks like it was only a matter of time before people began recognizing each other while reading posts here.

It's on!

Anonymous said...

god, i *love& this website.

mike, hilarious story. even more hilarious is that someone noticed and her reasons for not helping you out!

TomW said...

Look on the bright side... at least with boxers the contents of your package weren't too visible too others. Tighty-whiteys would have been much worse.
Plus, you were getting admiring glances rather than sniggers - so you can feel reassured there.

Kary said...

Oh cool! Which one is Mike? Pensive-guy, 80's-guy, 90's-guy, sweaty-guy? If you're '80s guy, you really need to find a new stylist Mike.

But yeah, nobody likes the 4:53 band of idiots, for so many good reasons. And you know it.

Anonymous said...

But he clearly says 5:10 train which is completely different than the 4:53 so maybe he actually isn't the a-hole in question in the band of idiots.

denise said...

Because he missed the 4:53. Duh.

Mike P. said...

I'm sorry that writing comments on blogs and facebooking too much has left most of you socially inept but lots of people like me like to relax and unwind and if it means socializing and having a good time with others, you need to either move or take a different train.

Don't act like you've never talked too loud or laughed out loud. Give me a break.

Cindy Smith, Editor, Education for the Driving Masses said...

Why so defensive Mike?

The truth a little too close for comfort?

The ladies explained why they didn't tell you. Perhaps an apology for your obnoxious behaviour is in order.

I also know the merry band of idiots these women are referring to. You and your friends crowd near the very first set of doors on the front coach. You don't move to let others on and you talk and laugh so loud you interrupt others' ability to enjoy their trip home either by napping, reading or working on a puzzle.

Respect is a two way street my friend.

Then perhaps next time someone will be kind enough to tell you about your wardrobe malfunction!

denise said...

Hey Mike
Now we all know your name! Thanks for outing yourself.

Anonymous said...

I like browsing your website because you can constantly bring us fresh and awesome stuff, I feel that I ought to at least say a thank you for your hard work.

- Rob

C.J. Smith said...

Thanks Rob!