Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Well at least he wasn't driving

Av, a faithful reader of this website, relayed a story to me today about her unusual ride home last night on the 9:13pm LSE.

She usually rides in the accessibility coach so should she encounter any "crazy", she's got the CSA there to handle any shenanigans. But last night, while rushing to catch the train, she decided any coach will do and hopped on.

At about 30 minutes into the ride, Av and another lady sitting near her were startled by a loud thumping noise. A few seconds pass and they hear another loud thump followed by what sounded like someone having thrown a suitcase onto the floor. Then a man, a construction-worker type dude, suddenly appeared face up on the floor, arms above his head. He was previously sitting comfortably beside the stairs.

After Av and the the other lady have their "home alone, silent scream moment," Av approaches him and shakes/pokes him, trying to rouse him but he remains unresponsive. Av tells the other woman she'll go alert the Customer Service Ambassador (CSA). So she hoofs down to the accessibility coach, tells the CSA and the train is held at Pickering while the CSA follows Av back to the coach to investigate.

Encountering the man, the CSA is eventually able to rouse him and asks him if he's ok.(Cut to Av who stands back due to her fear of projectile vomit and the likelihood that she'll deliver a punch to the guy's cake hole should that occur, to which a bottle of Purell would be needed.)

In the meantime, the CSA is able to get a response which took the form of the man smiling and tucking his hands behind his head and getting comfy, like he's lying all snugly in his own bed.

The CSA gets him to sit up and then stand up. By now, the other lady confirms that the man had not only slumped forward and hit his head on the wall, but that she had smelled alcohol on his breath.

It's obvious he's completely wasted. It's also revealed that the man meant to get off at Rouge Hill. The CSA escorts him off the train and tells him to take the next westbound train back. Av and the lady return to their seats and crack jokes about their weird experience.

Now what I love about Av is she did the one thing I ask all you turnips to do, she immediately took a photo because she knew no one would probably believe her without photographic evidence. She snapped the picture just before she headed off to fetch the CSA. Every story is made better with pictures! How can you not take a photo of such drunken craziness?

How could I not photoshop this either?


Anonymous said...


Pictures indeed do paint a thousand words!!!

Hilarious. Kudos to Av for doing her civic duty!

Anonymous said...

Best post ever!

Zainab said...

THIS IS AMAZING. you are hilarious. I love you in a non-creepy way.

C.J. Smith said...

A LOT of the kudos has to go to Av, coz even tho the story is A+, the photo is what makes it all more like butter.