Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The tale of the muffin

On Monday, I fell at Union Station. In the morning. During the cattle rush.

A woman trailing a rolling suitcase behind her cut in front of my path with little warning and no so much as an "excuse me". My legs collided with her bag and down I went. I did this amazing hedgehog roll and landed on my back where I was nearly trampled by others, only to be saved by a man who stepped in front of me to act as a shield.

The woman responsible for this yelled out an "I'm sorry but I'm late" and scurried off, disappearing into the crowd.

I was carrying a small bag that contained a box of cereal and a Tupperware container of homemade, carrot-apple muffins. The cereal box didn't make it but my muffins survived. The container did this amazing skid all the way across the Concourse floor where it came to rest in front of the Dairy Queen booth. Another gent tracked its path and trotted it over back to me. I was so thankful that I offered him one.

Brushing myself off, I sustained a wonderful scuff mark near the right toe of my brand new leather shoes. Today I noticed a bruise forming across my left bicep. Due to my drop and roll maneuver, I saved myself from further injury. I was wearing black so if there was dirt, I couldn't see it.

At least five people stopped to help me up, helped me gather my things, helped me clean myself off and helped me repair my bruised ego. I didn't get to thank any of them because of course, we're all trying to get to work. My shoutout wasn't published so I'm hoping that they find this website one day. Thank you!

I really appreciate that you all stopped. As for the woman who tripped me and buggered off? I don't know what I would say to her. Other people are just as busy, late, pressed for time ... right?


Anonymous said...

Rolling bags drive me crazy. CRAZY. I know, maybe bag rollers have a back problem or other hidden disability I can't think of. BUT STILL.

Squiggles said...

I think bag-rollers are just lazy. I will admit that I have been known the move them out of the way via shoe planted to the side of the bag. I have had too many roll over my toes, clip my ankles. Too many of these people cut in front of others and cause incidents like the one above because they do not realise how much extra room they take up and weave through the masses like they are not dragging luggage behind them. So, outta the way they go. Don't really care if I caused an injury*.

* granted, if it was a little old person, I do not do that and give them plenty of extra room.

But, I am glad that you seem to have suffered little damage — it could have been so much worse. And great on those people who helped you.

C.J. Smith said...

I think my girth also played a role.

Anonymous said...

he he
drop and roll a fatty.

April said...

Your girth had nothing to do with it. People with rolling bags seldom seem to understand that although they might be clear of your path as they cut you off, their bag usually isn't. Like my dog with her tail, she isn't touching the coffee table but she can still clear that table with one good wag!

Glad you weren't more seriously injured. Glad there are no open wounds. I wouldn't want to add you to the Go Train Infected Me club.

ExGOnowTTC said...

@anonymous -

CJ may be a fatty, but being a fuckwit is for life.

C.J. Smith said...

Ex, are you suggesting I can run around the block and change this? LOL.

Squiggles said...


I took that 1 of 2 ways.

1) the way you did.

2) with the "a" I thought it was a pot reference.

Not defending him/her/it, but it could be not as rude if read the second way.

ExGOnowTTC said...


Sure, i can see it that way. But the fact it was anonymous and several keyboard heroes of mentioned CJ's weight recently suggests it was meant the first way.
I'll go smoke a few and think about it standing in the way of a few DDD's tonight.

Squiggles said...


I would say Go For It, even after some inconsiderate sparked up a doobie at the street car level of the St. Clair West station which had me in coughing fits, but do it in a well-venilated area first.

Then block the DDDs till the cows come home.

C.J. Smith said...

Can someone "roll" me in.

LOL @heroes. They just jealous. I so fine.

Dan-1 said...

Whenever I'm walking through the Union Station Cattle Rush I always like to think of it as driving: anyone could cut in front of you or cross your path at a moment's notice, and you might need to hit the brakes or swerve to avoid someone. There are no lanes of travel so everyone is going every which way.

Skin Man said...

kinda like driving in India!

DF said...

btw sometimes your shout out will not appear for a day or two. just because it doesnt appear on the day you submitted doesnt mean it wont. Mine get published all the time and often not for a couple of days.

Glad to hear you werent hurt. What a bitch for not stopping to at least make sure you werent hurt since you freakin landed on the ground thanks to her.

Matt said...

I would have told the bitch “f*ck you very much!”

I don’t understand people (mostly women) who bring 2 or 3 bags, AND a rolling suitcase to work every day. I mean, how much shit do you need for the 10 hours or so you’re out of the house? I carry ONE bag. In it is my lunch, usually a book, keys, sometimes my wallet, sometimes an umbrella, my GO pass(es)/presto card, and I’m diabetic so I also carry a testing kit, an insulin pen and an emergency bottle of fruit juice in case my blood sugar falls too low while I’m stranded on the train. And all of that fits into a bag that is no bigger than a shoe box.

lswgirl13 said...

Matt - some people do take work home or even work from home part-time so I don't have a problem with the rollers, just that people need to stay to the right and realize they are in the minority.
As for the shoutouts - I think a thank is always nice to see instead of these useless posts about lost and found or happy bday to their 5 year old.

ExGOnowTTC said...

I think i might send a shoutout to Mithra, the Zoroastrian divinity of covenant and oath.