Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Work it. Covergirl

8:31 am - TODAY.

Covergirl here:

1. Gets comfortable
2. Arranges bags
3. Places coffee
4. Adjusts hair
5. Pulls out makeup bag
6. Pulls out mp3 player with radio tuner
7. Sets station to CHFI
8. Cranks volume to LOUD
9. Proceeds to apply full make-up, the whole shebang: smoothing cream, concealer, foundation, eye liner, eye shadow, lash curler, mascara, combs eyebrows, applies eyebrow pencil, lines lips, applies clear lip foundation, applies lipstick (by now I'm exhausted just from watching her) brushes on powder, applies rouge (blush), applies more mascara and checks her compact three more times before we arrive at union
10. Applies body spritzer (perfume? couldn't tell)

I am in awe of these people. What has someone so busy that they can't do this before they leave the house?

Three words: Ah. May. Zing.

When she spritzed herself, the guy sitting beside me left after that.

It didn't smell all that bad (vanilla bean) but I thought it was a bold (and brazen) move.


DF said...

good question. Grooming in public places is so rude. That's like a guy sitting down and pulling out his electric razor and shaving his face. yuck. leave that shit for home. or wait till you get into the office and put your face on in the bathroom at work.

Did you actually put up with listening to the ratio all the way to Union? I so would have told that bitch to shut it down.

AngelSil said...

totally should have photoshopped

onto her face

C.J. Smith said...

I tuned it out but I have Blind Melon's "No Rain" stuck in my head. For some reason, I couldn't block that song out.

In fact, now that I think about it, I think she turned it off at some point.

C.J. Smith said...


I know. There's so much more I can do but again, there's just not enough hours in the day.

Squiggles said...

Wow. And for me an amazing make up day was powder, mascara and lip gloss. What the hell is some of that stuff?

And, how did she not lose an eye from a makeup wand or from the person across from her fed up with her crap?

Bicky said...

Just once I'd love for the train to hit a bump when the mascara brush is thisclose to the eye. One poke in the eye with that, and they'll think twice before doing it again. (Hey, I can dream right?)

At least she wasn't plucking the hairs off her chin and blowing them on the floor.

Mandy said...

Wow. Listen to you bitches? Are you for real?
Number one, CJ, you need a train hobby as you care way too much what people do with THEIR TIME on the train. I put my makeup on while I'm on the bus because I am free to do so. No one is forcing you to watch.
Number two, this is just mean-spirited. Is she breathing on you? Is she invading your space?

I can't believe how pious some of you. Get over yourselves. Maybe she has a sick mother dying of cancer and that's why she doesn't have time until she gets on the train.

C.J. Smith said...

Whoah. Mandy. Calm down, girl.

That's why I asked the question. To find out why people do their make-up on the train because I don't. I primarily do not do this because I'm not comfortable drawing attention to myself having an intimate make-over session with a mirror.

To be perfectly honest with you and I think I expressed I found it amazing, I am fascinated by women who can do this. Other people are grossed out by it because they feel it's far too intimate for a public place.

Second, we all have to share space on the train and sometimes we can't help but stare. It's not like we ride in bathroom stalls where we sit and shut the door.

Please do not call my dedicated contributors "bitches". That was uncalled for.

I figured if she puts herself out there, I can write about her. She's obviously comfortable with sharing her grooming habits so I'm comfortable sharing her with other riders who just didn't happen to be on the train with me.

Thanks for writing.

C.J. Smith said...

Oh crap, I forgot to mention she also spritzed on perfume (looked like body spray). The guy sitting beside me left after that.

It didn't smell all that bad but I thought it was a bold, brazen! move.

Mandy said...

Jesus Christ. It's make-up. It's not like she's wiping her ass.

Didn't your mama tell you it's not polite to stare?

Squiggles said...

A) Mandy, dear, deep breathes. Yes, it is your "right" to do your makeup on a public conveyance. However, it is also my "right" to not see it or become covered in it. You can't stop the dust from flying every where and I do not want my black shirt/pants/etc. covered in your crap.

B)The perfume is too much. People are allergic to it. It gives me a headache, gives people asthma attacks and is a driving factor to my cough (from September) to not go away.

C) CJ has a train hobby. She chats with people. She also gathers stories to post on this blog.

What you need to do dear is unclench and realise you are rude. What would Miss Manners or Emily Post say about your habits on the bus or even "talking" to other commentators.

Tim K. said...

Mandy needs help.
You do realize the point of this website, right?
If CJ got herself a train hobby, what the hell would she write about?

"Had a lovely ride on the train today, sang hymns with my seatmate, shared recipes with lady standing on platform and thanked the good Lord for all the beautiful fall colours."


As CJ says, "Surf away! Surf away!"

Squiggles said...

One last point: Have these trolls not realised that by getting defensive and self-righteous that whatever point they were trying to make is lost?

It's very similar to those that yell at you when you wouldn't let them cut in line.

Anonymous said...

You know what my favourite part about this post was? When Mandy quit her web browser.

She really needs to quit this bitch and go find someone else to pester.

Anonymous said...

People are so pressed for time these days.

There should be a "spruce" car. Extra fare, but you get a proper mirror and a stall of your own.

Maybe even a shower for the truly desperate.

Anonymous said...

When I get on the train, morning and evening, I usually give my hair a quick (and I do mean quick) brush and apply some lip gloss. The brush makes my head feel good and the gloss makes my dry lips feel comfy. Takes about 30 seconds altogether. I don't think it's inappropriate, no one has ever left the quad because of it. Apologies if anyone didn't like it.

Svej said...

HAHAHA: "sang hymns with my seatmate" beautiful.

Anyway, WOWW. I've never worn that much makeup in my entire life. Honestly I'd rather show a few pimples than cake them with half the makeup products under the sun. Heaven forbid you're human and have a few flaws.

Anonymous said...

BITCH = Babe In Total Control of Herself


Skin Man said...

Anon @ 1:54, excellent idea. We can herd all the like minded morning prep people into one car. I can see it now.....flossing, plucking, combing, brushing, will be gross, but at least everyone will be happy.

April said...

I don't have a problem with people who feel the need to "put their face on" on the train every morning. I wouldn't do it but my daughter does it every day (used to drive me crazy, now I am numb). I just hope we hit a bump and eyeliner ends up going to their temples.

But perfume should NEVER be sprayed in public. So many people have such serious reactions to it. It is bad enough I am subjected to people who bathe in their perfume daily (and give me a freaking headache), I wouldn't sit by quietly while someone sprayed it in public.

Aitch said...

I swear this woman's daughter sat across from me this morning. Head to toe LuLu, sat down, applied at least as much product as you listed... And when she was done, sat back and crossed her legs, then started swinging her foot Peggy Bundy-styles. Had to give her the hairy eyeball for kicking me, repeatedly. I think I'd rather ride the train in my pajamas than put a face full of make up on, on the train.

Jenn Jilks said...

I just love your posts. Shame you erased her face. I might have stood up and sung to her songs. You gotta treat people how to treat you!

kary said...

I eat my breakfast bar and drink my green tea in my car on the way to the oshawa go, so I save my lipstick for the train. I'm even a wee bit conscious about that, in a near-empty car. Can't imagine bringing my eye shadow, liner, mascara and bronzer too. Kinda funny really.

DF said...

I do agree it takes a lot of talent to put on a full face of makeup on the train. mostly because they have to use only one hand to apply makeup and the other to hold the mirror. I could never do that. I'd poke my eye out for sure.

lswgirl13 said...

Mandy - You really don't get why the make-up thing on public transit is offensive???
Vanilla bean from B&BW - probably the most disgusting smell EVER!!! One of the girls where I used to work would use the lotion a few times a day. When she wasn't around, I was in charge of going and slowing emptying a little down the drain each day. She couldn't figure out how she going through it so quickly!!!

Kelly said...

I agree with the perfume comment. And not everyone agrees with smells - personally, vanilla scent makes me feel sick. I don't have any strong feelings about doing make-up on the train - I personally don't do it as that would mean going out in public without makeup first. That's the part that startles me - that people obviously care enough to put makeup on - but they don't think their day starts until they get to work - all of us seeing them on the train don't matter...