Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Let's start 2013 off on the right foot, shall we?

And you know where your right foot should be? On the floor, along with your left foot.
Nothing pisses me off more than climbing aboard a coach only to witness three people wearing dirty, salt-stained boots using the seat across from them as foot stools.
So I yelled, and without warning, "Get your boots off the seats, please!" I promptly scared the living daylights out of this one turd. Good.
I used my "I am important" voice. Loud, clear and booming, I ensured my voice traveled up an octave towards the end.
Hysterically, after I sat down, this woman approached me to tell me that she thought I was very rude. I told her to be quiet. I told her I was important and did not care what she thinks.
My "I am important" routine dials up all kinds of crazy and has guaranteed much success in encouraging people not to mess with me.
Now, with that out of the way, let's address all the things 2013 is sure to bring us.
Presto. Aw yeah... I know most of you clung to your monthly paper passes the way Jessica Simpson clings to a gift certificate for an all you can eat BBQ buffet, but hell has indeed frozen over because as of yesterday, your hand has been forced to let go of that paper pass. That green and white plastic card is now your best friend and your worst enemy. I was an early adopter of the card and am used to all of its nuances. Most of you will hate it at first, but I swear to you, you will get used to the tapping.
We can all expect to be lighter in the wallets thanks to the GO fare increase that comes into effect February 1st and increased payroll deductions for Employment Insurance and Canada Pension. It's the fare increase that irks me the most. I haven't seen an improvement in overall service since the last increase a mere 11 months ago, but I hope Metrolinx takes all that extra money and pours it into GPS systems for their buses and more express trains or longer trains on the LSE and LSW corridors. I know that many LSW passengers are tired of standing for 45+ minutes on their commutes.
On a personal note, I have made a resolution to ditch my dependency on nasal sprays. I suffer from chronic, allergic rhinitis and sprays like Claritin and Drixoral are my drugs of choice in combating congestion.
It's been over 24 hours since I've snorted a hit and although I am miserable as all hell, this is for the best.
It's an expensive 'habit' and I need to convince myself that the steroid sprays prescribed to me by my doctor are going to work.
I've been down this path at least seven times during this 13-year 'addiction' and have never been successful. This time, I am determined to beat my dependency. Like a smoker trying to quit nicotine, withdrawal leaves me in a bad mood.
I feel bad for the foot riders. They don't know what's coming for them.


Dakota said...

I have been using Presto for a while now and have no problems until last week. I was on the scheduled 05:47 from Oshawa on Dec 27 and it was late because of operational issues. It does qualify for a refund. The problem is the clock above the presto machine in the Oshawa station said 05:32 so I tapped and it tapped on presto at 05:31. I will not be getting a refund. I told GO to show the presto time on the machine in the future.

Em said...

I even got used to 'tapping' & I was a hater, a real bad hate on for Presto..
Cant wait till I come for a few days in Feb, tap tap tap!
Currently live in Dartmouth N.S, (just moved last june & am coming back to Ontario in 2015 when my contract is done here..