Friday, July 8, 2011

Should I say something?

from susan b.
27 JUN 11

This morning I watched a man that I have sat next to a few times, but who I see everyday, who I know is married because his wife has accompanied him sometimes when she has a meeting in Toronto, kiss a woman goodbye in a car that wasn't like a kiss you would give your daughter. He got on my coach and sat near me. Then he made a call on his mobile to his wife to tell her that "David dropped him off at the station ok and that he thinks he may have to stay over at David's again to continue with the prototype until pretty late so he'll crash there again".
This man has young children. What should I do? Should I say something?

to susan b.
re: bastard
27 JUN 11

I have changed names, descriptions and the context of the phone call to protect the wife in the crazy event she actually reads this website. I think your role in this is to keep your mouth shut. If he's truly cheating, she will eventually find out on her own. I have no idea what you could even say to the guy if I had the background or degree necessary to coach you. For all you know, that could have been David's wife dropping him off and they kiss on the mouth sometimes. I know that's a stretch but are you going to follow the guy home, wait til he leaves again and leave a note in the mailbox for the wife to read? I'm posting this to the blog because I know transit affairs do go on because there are pages of Shououts devoted to them. I can only go from my own marriage. If my husband were cheating, the only person I would want to tell me is him.


Anonymous said...

If I were his wife, I'd want to know, no matter who it was from.

But I don't know how you could go about doing so...

Betty said...


And if it wasn't true? Then what?

Susan B. said...

As much as I know I should keep my mouth shut, I'm one of those woman who would want to know if my husband was being even the tiniest bit unfaithful.

Kim said...

Who cares? It's not your life.

Anonymous said...

Slip some female undies into his suit pocket?

Anonymous said...

As someone who was in the wife's shoes at one time - I was hurt and embarrassed to find out most of "our" friends knew about his cheating but did not tell me. If they had, it would have saved me months of anguish (I knew something was going on, but there was always an excuse). I wouldn't say to go out of your way to tell the wife, but if you happen to see could say something like "you're his wife? Then who drops him off some mornings?" And to the poster, your husband won't tell you, you'll find the proof and even then he'll deny, deny, deny.

Anonymous said...

1) It says a woman dropped him off at the station. They kissed.
2) He called and told his wife that a guy named David dropped him off.
3) Staying late at David's house (cue 80's porno music).

If those are the facts, it's pretty clear what's going on.

Maybe spray him with some female perfume by accident one day on the train. Evil (and possibly dangerous) but that might get the ball rolling for the wife.

WTF? said...

ok, but he's a STRANGER. how do you tell his wife, someone you don't know? follow him home. tell me how that conversation goes down.

Donna said...

What? Seriously? If you knew hus wife, then yes I would rat him out. But you don't know this loser or his wife so mind your own beeswax. And CJ, hubby won't spill the beans. Trust. Even when confronted with hard evidence they still lie thru their teeth and deny it.

lswgirl13 said...

I don't understand why you would even entertain the idea of getting involved in a complete stranger's life. Affairs go on all the time, and speaking from personal experience, if it's a fling I'd rather go with "what you don't know won't hurt you" and if it's more than that, the marriage is most likely doomed to fail. There are warning signs, a smart person should be able to figure them out without someone telling them.