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Tuesday, March 13, 2012

I almost became one of "them"

Them being people responsible for medical emergencies, and the train grinding to a halt at the next station, and thousands of people being late to pick children up from daycare.

A few months back a friend had been going on about a movie called The Human Centipede. Knowing I like horror films (keyword being horror), he suggested I watch it.

Okay, here's the thing, there's a MASSIVE DIFFERENCE between medical gore and downright, knockout, grossness and horror films. I can take blood and gore, provided I avert my eyes, even managing to sit through all five Final Destination films but I can't handle medical, gastronomy-based filth which is what The Human Centipede is.

I was watching the movie on the train ride home. There's a scene where the deranged surgeon begins to outline and sketch on a white board what he intends to do to his victims. It's disgusting.

Let me tell you something about me and graphic medical stuff. For as long as I can remember, if you show me anatomy charts detailing any function of any organ of the body, especially anything involving the reproductive system, I faint. Bag of bricks. Down for the count.

I can't even read the instructions for a certain feminine hygiene product without feeling the need to gasp for air and stick my head out a window.

I was a lot of fun in sex Ed.

While watching this scene, my brain went into repulsion-overload. I quickly stopped the movie but not before I began to feel all the symptoms that lead up to passing out.

So I peeled off all my clothes leaving me sitting on the train in a tank top in an effort to combat the clamminess. Then I leaned forward a bit to try to calm the light-headedness and the urge to vomit. None of what I was doing was working.

The train was heading into Whitby at this point so I knew I had to get off. I was so weak, I barely had enough strength to carry my stuff and negotiate the stairs. I know I definitely looked drunk as I made my way down to the doors and I guess I was pale enough to generate a few stares of concern as the train began to slow down. One woman did ask me if I was okay. I felt like the biggest tool. All this over a movie.

She helped onto the platform and kept a hand on my arm to steady me. I told her I was just feeling car sick. The cold air felt incredible. I just stood there inhaling deep breaths.

She gave me her cell number in case I still felt ill since she offered to drive me home, which I thought was incredibly kind. By the time the next train rolled in, I was right as rain.

I deleted that god-awful movie. Shit nearly killed me.

Note. I can't even bring myself to Google an image of the movie poster without feeling the need to stifle the urge to vomit.

9 comments:

Kathy said...

Yes, some movies ought not to have been made. This is absolutely one of them.

CJ, you should check out High Intensity. Great psycho-thriller suspense movie with none of the medical gore.

C.J. Smith said...

I am currently taking all kinds of suggestions for movies to watch on the train.

Fire away. No medical gore, please.

I will definitely look into High Intensity.

Squiggles said...

Yeah, I had heard things about the movie, but didn't get the whole jist of it until someone sat me down to explain it. Then the person offered to let me borrow the movie. I said "nope", reading about such stuff makes me ill, why would I subject my eyes to it.

Even now, ick. May not need lunch for a long while.

AND (!!!) there are still some nice people out there.

DF said...

I e heard about that movie. Just the Thought if it makes me want to vomit and I have a pretty strong stomach and like horror movies. Whoever thought up that movie plot is seriously not right in the head. How it ever made any money is beyond me as well. Holy there is a sequel !!!!!

Squiggles said...

Oh, forgot to mention, if you can't stomach this, DO NOT read up on some of the "experiments" from WWII conducted by the Germans and the Japanese. Did that by accident while reading "Unbroken". That is probably where the writers got the original idea.

Anonymous said...

The trailer for that film alone made me feel ill - and I work in a medical-related profession where I look at pictures of diseases and organs fairly regularly. A friend of mine actually vomited from watching the preview. The fact that someone exists who can conceive of such an idea is frightening.

Ugh.

Anonymous said...

The trailer for that film alone made me feel ill - and I work in a medical-related profession where I look at pictures of diseases and organs fairly regularly. A friend of mine actually vomited from watching the preview. The fact that someone exists who can conceive of such an idea is frightening.

Ugh.

Anonymous said...

The trailer for that film alone made me feel ill - and I work in a medical-related profession where I look at pictures of diseases and organs fairly regularly. A friend of mine actually vomited from watching the preview. The fact that someone exists who can conceive of such an idea is frightening.

Ugh.

Zjack said...

I watched Human Centipede with another horror-movie buff. Let me just say that it was more disgusting than pretty much any horror / torture-porn / gore fest movie I've ever seen, including all the SAW movies and Hostel.

Apparently the second one is worse, and I heard they were doing a third one as well.