Thursday, October 28, 2010

Some people need to raise the bar a little bit higher

Below is a text exchange from last night between myself and a lad who figured himself to be a stud.

Stud: hey


Stud: how are you

good, you?

Stud: can i ask a question


Stud: this is cj from crazy train right?


Stud: ok cool. i have to check because id hate to think im texting my mom or something

how can you text your mom when you would have to type in my number?

Stud: well i stored your number in case something funny happened and i could just quickly send something

oh, great idea! i like readers who are prepared

Stud: well i did take scouts when i was a kid


Stud: has anyone told you about how people have sex in the big washrooms on the trains

no, not yet but i have heard that this goes on thru the shout outs

Stud: i'm one of those people

one of those people who writes shout outs?

Stud: no one of those people who do it

do what

Stud: have sex

big deal. so do i

Stud: in the washrooms?

no. never on a train. that's super gross. the bacteria. the germs. who the hell would do that?

Stud: i do

i just threw up in my mouth

Stud: ha. ha. it's not so bad

right. provided you have no sense of smell

Stud: last night i took a late train and i hit it off with this brunette heading home to milton

let me guess, you delivered a pizza to her and she didn't have any money to pay you

Stud: ha ha no. i nailed her in the bathroom


Stud: why, u don't you believe me

where did i say i didn't believe you

Stud: you wrote sure

right. sure. sure as in sure, that's great

Stud: or sure as in you're a liar

you're the one who thinks they're writing to penthouse magazine

Stud: i thought you wanted people to text you

i do, i just don't get what's so hot about sex in a go train bathroom with all the urine splatter, poop smears and other bacteria you don't see while you're "nailing" someone

Stud: it's exciting

your sexual experience sounds limited if you think sex in the go train bathroom is exciting

Stud: i used protection

like what? purelling yourself from head to toe afterwards

Stud: she liked it

oh, your fantasy girl because i'm pretty sure you had sex with only one person last night

Stud: ha ha it's true

that you had sex with yourself

Stud: ha ha no. with the girl

if it is true, it's still gross. unsanitary. yuck.

Stud: it was your mother. she wanted me real baaaaad

how old are you?

Stud: why?

just trying to figure something out

Stud: are you going to write about my hot date

dude, you need to set your standards higher if what you did last night is what you consider a "hot date"

Stud: you probably won't publish this


Anonymous said...

While I look forward to each new post, this one was.....a bit boring. I agree with you CJ that the fact that this person was worried about texting his mom accidentily and the comment about having intercourse with your mom, and that she wanted him real "baaaad" screams out lame teenager, but really is this just trolling CJ or crazy train hijinx? The cooridor club was really just a the bait to start the trolling....on the other hand I guess this is another example of a crazy person on the train, (although who knows if this individual has ever been on a GO train or the TTC)....sigh

Anonymous said...

Wow. Can I get this guy's number? He sounds real hot...... BARF.

C.J. Smith said...

I tried in vain with my replies to steer this into a better direction but it's difficult to do with trolls or people who aren't being honest or who are trying to bait me.

I felt it was worthy to throw it up online. Perhaps to encourage others to "try harder".

TomW said...

Stud:"Upright pieces of lumber in a wall to which drywall is attached."
Sounds about right to me :-)

Stud's girlfriend said...

Stud also doesn't realize that his co-worker actually reads this website and forwarded me the link, as Stud doesn't realize we know each other.

Anonymous said...

I love all the text message conversations! I always laugh and never think they're boring. Just as good as reading the idiots on!

Denise said...

Hey Stud's girlfriend.

Your boyfriend thinks he's part of the Corridor Club but the only club he's part of is Club Loser

Karen said...

Pretty lame.

Danielle said...

I don't think there's such a thing as the Late Train to Milton.