Thursday, October 21, 2010

What pisses you off?

Just curious.

What are some of things other people do on the train that annoy the hell out of you?

I know I've been incredibly open about mine, seeing as I have this blog and all.

For the TTC readers, I can assume it's the door pigs.


donna said...

people who crowd around the doors while the trains are waiting at union. how hard is it to form a line?

Angela said...

The people who lean their entire bodies against the pole when the train is crowded. I get on at the last stop before Union and it's always (always!) standing room only in the morning. Rather than allow several people to hold onto the pole, there's usually some stripper-wannabe doing a full body pole dance with her arms, legs, and sometimes chest splayed out on the pole.

It's almost always a woman, too.


TomW said...

Wait. There are things about the GO Train which annoy you? I never knew...

My pet peeve: people who stand around inside the doorways, blocking access for otehr people, even though there are seats free.

tony said...

the goddamn wanna be politicians on the platforms

piss off

Anonymous said...

People who cough and cough, and cough, and cough, and cough, and cough. Stay home.

Anonymous said...

people who are in the isle seats of the GO and when i say 'excuse me' so i can get through to the one window seat left, and all they do is tighten their leg muscles... thats not clearing a space for me to walk through ahole, so i'm going to bang and bonk everything I can on my way in. HA

Todd said...

To continue from anonymous' point. I was in an aisle seat, someone came up and asked to get into the window seat. I dutifully swung my legs to side to allow them in but the guy opposite me didn't so much as look up.

tim said...

people who bitch about the shout outs but still read the shout outs

kinda like people who question why this blog exists but still read it

Dan said...

Loud cellphone talkers, and people who wear too much perfume/cologne/Axe.

fred said...

Well! Where to start?!

Take note yee dirty turnips.

1. People who can't get to the train on time, GO is not obligated to wait for you. Good bye.

2. People who talk louder than needed on mobile phones. Use your indoor voice. Plus, no one cares about your life so keep it short. Porkchops for dinner? Fucking A. End of call.

3. If you snore, you are not allowed to sleep. Period. If you're not sure, go home tonight and ask your family. If they say yes, invest in Red Bull for the ride going forward. If you don't have any family, set up a video camera and tape yourself sleeping. Review the footage. If you snore, see Red Bull comment above.

4. That seat across from you and beside you is exactly that, a seat. It is not your personal footstool, couch, chair, bed, etc. Don't try to skirt the issue by removing your shoes. Unless I've been in your home to inspect how clean your floors are, I will assume your feet are carrying bacteria that I do not wish to touch or have transferred onto my body. So keep your feet on the floor. Always.

5. Yes, it's absolutely tragic when the train is full and you have to stand. Why the Red Cross has not gotten involved yet in this crisis beseeches me too, but if you are left to stand, please move your ass to the centre of the train. Those holes in the back of the seats are designed for your hands to grip onto. This marvelous invention is available on every single train. I realize it seems incredibly intimate to put your hand mere inches from a stranger's head but consider how close you sit next to someone on days you were lucky to snag a seat. Your reluctance is moot. Move.

6. Bags, suitcases, hockey sticks, golf bags, gym bags, backpacks, rolling bags, coats, gifts, paperwork, laptops, your dog don't get to ride on the seat beside you or across from you at anytime if there is more than 10 people on the train with you. Especially when the train is boarding. If you ride every fucking morning on the train from Ajax like I do, you know the train gets full. If you're one of those people who get on at Oshawa, do us all a favour and move your shit once you're settled not when I get on and look at you to do so. Don't make me ask.

7. Show me one person who hasn't had a bad day at the office and I'll show you my pet flying pig. So far, he's not been introduced to a soul. No matter how sucky your day was or how many reports you had to bind or how many times you had to edit a file, guess what? I don't give a rat's ass. Neither do the 20 people around you. So if you're going to bitch about your crappy day, talk to your corridor homies in church voice. In fact, behave like you do in church on the train and we should all get along fine.

8. Your kids aren't on their way to fucking Disneyland so tell the little buggers to sit down and sit still. There's no need for any kid to be slapping the windows, jumping up and down on seats or running down the aisles. Teach them to be respectful of other people. Everyone is paying to ride and the bylaws restrict this behaviour. If you can't get your kids to behave then you better find a babysitter because your kids don't deserve to be out in public.

9. That's awesome you've managed to download the latest Beyonce song from iTunes and are playing it on your MP3 player at a volume that forces all of us to hear it for free, but we most certainly don't want to hear you sing along. Most people appear to be tone deaf, pitchy and dreadful singers. Trust me when I say you are a legend in your mind. No one's clapping.

10. Just like you, I also want to get home. Charging the doors, stairs and parking lot doesn't make you get home faster. Nearly running people over as you race to line up to get out of the parking lot is ignorant, selfish and dangerous. Smarten up.

Cindy said...

If you don't ride the train every day -- listen to the announcements. They might pertain to you and your future exit strategy.

Swearing after the fact just makes you look stupid -- it doesn't lessen your taxi fees to get back to the right station.

*I know these announcements drive the regulars crazy -- but my pet peeve is for the one-offs that seem to think someone should greet them at the door and let them know personally there are renovations happening that might make these doors not open at their station.

Mark Wright (Milton) said...

Joe seemed to pretty much cover it all but I still get annoyed with people who eat smelly food, especially eggs. There's a lady on my train that eats a boiled egg each morning. I actually switched coaches to avoid her and no longer ride where I would like to sit. It's stuff like that. I guess I could just tell her that her egg stinks but then I could never ride that coach again because I would have to face her each day and it would be awkward.

Ideally, it would be her who would move.

Don't people realize how bad eggs actually smell? Especially boiled eggs? Or it just me?

Anonymous said...

Fred - you are hilarious and everything you said is so true!!!

People who can't walk straight. What? Are you mesmerized by the tv screens and pretty lights. Unless you're drunk, stick to the walls. I hate walking straight through union to my platform only to be stopped dead in my tracks or sideswiped by an idiot walking willynilly all over the place.

People who Read or play/text on their cellphone while leaving the train and walking. See point above, stop and get to the side.

Don't hate me for this one but... If you are extremely overweight and pregnant we may not be able to tell. Don't act like an angry rhino when you don't get a seat. Be honest and ask.

And lastly my biggest pet peeve: women who walk through the doors at union and on the ttc an only use their precious little fingers to push the door a few inches an slip through. You know the ones. Your moving full commuter speed ahead and the woman in front of you lightly pushes the door, squeezes through and BLAM door in your face and you have stop. Touching the door with your finger tips is just as germy as any other way of touching it. Be nice and open the door all the way and give me a chance.

Ps. These women are the same ones that push the handicapped buttons on doors because opening a door is too germy??!!! Come on! Everyone touches those buttons - you are lazy!

Stephanie B. said...

If you're going to ride the GO bus, here's some tips from a fellow traveller:

1. If you are late and have to stand, don't whine about it. You were late. You want a seat, get there on time and stand in line like the rest of us.

2. If you have to stand, don't whine that no one will give up a seat for you (I've seen it happen...) because you are a woman, tired, was at school all day, drunk etc. The only way you're getting a seat is if you are a) pregnant b)elderly (no, being in your 50's doesn't count) or c) with a visible disability

3. Don't give me the stink eye for sitting in the courtesy seats at the front if you are not any of the above. (I am A, I get a seat!) Further to that, if you see a pregnant/elderly traveller, don't make her go up to the driver and ask them to give her a seat. Be courteous and give up your seat! (And btw, fellow pregnant/elderly travellers, we can ask the driver to kick someone who doesn't need a courtesy seat out of the seats at the front. I asked.)

4. Don't crowd your seat mate and don't read over their shoulder. That is SUPER annoying. Also annoying, people who let their cellphone ring and ring. And people who sit with their legs wide open. Thanks for taking over my seat. Don't get mad when I squirm and try to reclaim some of my seat. I paid for it too. And chances are, I paid more for mine because I'm going further than you.

5. And like on the train, if you have two seats to yourself, keep your feet off them!

Kaylaa Claudusz #Ajax said...

Fred is the MAN. Anon after him is pretty close. All good points.

Marion said...

People who don't read the sign boards (above each platform) at the bus terminal anger me...What angers me more are the people who do not read the sign OR huge LED light signed on the side and front of the bus and still ask the driver if the bus is going to ____ GO station.

All the information is given on those. If you are unclear then please stop holding up the line and freaking other first-time riders out. And I pretty much agree with all statements made above....rawr.