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Friday, August 2, 2013

And speaking of dog poop...

from: Dave Knight
to: CJ@thiscrazytrain.com
date: Fri, Aug 2, 2013 at 1:07 PM
subject: Dirty shoes and dog poop

Hey CJ!
I was going to put this story in a comment but I figured it was better emailed because you may want to share it. You can publish my full name. A few co-workers dared me to send this in.
I haven't been reading your GO train blog for very long but I became a fan after finding you through the GO flood earlier this month.
I've been using GO Transit for over 10 years and I always thought someone should chronicle the commuter culture and here you are!
Your post today about shoes on the seats and all the bacteria being transferred to the seats and hoping people who do this sat in dog poop made me want to share an incident I witnessed about 7 or 8 years ago. My girlfriend and I had cut out of a Prince concert early so we could avoid the large crowds heading home and were on the train back to Whitby. We were in a 4-seater (or quad as you call them) along with this woman and her small dog. It was after 11 at night. I don't know what kind of dog but it was small enough that it could sit on the seat by itself without falling off. It was all wide-eyed and shaking a little bit because I guess it was nervous and she was petting it and talking to it while holding its leash. I will always remember the dog's name (Jellybean) because of what happened after about Scarborough (I think) station.
My friend and I are talking and all of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye, I notice the dog sit up a bit and then enter into a squat position. The woman (the owner) had her head back and her eyes closed. I then whispered to my friend something along the lines ... "It's not ... no, oh my god" and my friend taps the lady's leg and says, "Um, your dog?!" and the dog starts having the most massive dump - it was really impressive actually - right there, on the seat. And she's yelling, "Jellybean! No, no, no!!! Oh God, no!!!" And it wasn't solid.
My friend and I stood up and of course, everyone else on the train was turning and staring (it was quite full). Sadly, these were the days before everyone had a cellphone camera so I was unable to document this incident.
So the woman gets the dog off the seat and pushes it into the aisle and is frantic while she stares at the mess and of course, the dog being a dog, wants to stare at its masterpiece because it seems that dogs are always amazed at their own shit. As I said, I don't own a dog, but I have lots of friends with dogs and they always act like it's the first time they've ever took a dump. So the dog is trying to get around her to inspect its poop when suddenly, I guess the dog was overwhelmed with another cramp, it squats in the space between the seats and the aisle and lets out another wet mess. It pools onto the floor.
The woman began to cry. "Jellybean! Why, why, why?!!!" Jellybean wasn't about to answer. I know this for fact.
We pull into the next station and she starts dragging the dog out of the quad and then goes to pick him/her up when he lets out another wet mess onto her, down her arms and dress. I don't think I need to tell you about the smell.
She's hysterical now. She puts Jellybean down and half the car is full of people on one side who not so discreetly had moved away from the situation and the other half is empty. My friend is trying not to retch and I decide it's time to get the CSA involved because there's a clean-up needed in Aisle 2230 - stat. Some lady did offer a Kleenex. I thought that was kind.
So off I go to get the CSA and when he and I return to the coach, she and the dog are gone and there are shitty foot prints near the east doors. The CSA says she must have gotten off at Rouge Hill which was the stop we were pulling into when I was telling the CSA what was going on in our coach.
Most of the coach was empty as the smell had become quite overpowering and I also lost my friend who either came looking for me or had to just get away. Don't worry, I found her again when we arrived at Whitby.
The CSA was extremely perplexed. The fabric of the seat was soaked with poop. There was a pool of dog shit and drops of doggy diarrhea everywhere and shit footprints. To be honest, he looked like he wanted to puke. I don't blame him. I have a strong stomach, but it was very gross.
He tells me when the train gets to Oshawa, he'll put the coach out of service and while we're talking, we're pulling into Ajax and some other guy joins us that he radioed. His reaction was pretty awesome when he came down the stairs and surveyed the shitty scene. He was like, a dog did this?! What the hell? So I leave the two of them and walk back a bit, to another coach, as I'm getting off at the next stop.
Anyhow, this is what I think about whenever I see the cloth seats. I think of dogs and diarrhea. I really hope when that coach made its way back to the yard, they unbolted that entire 4-seater and burnt it.

8 comments:

Jenn said...

That was hilarious! Thanks for sharing, Dave.

Anonymous said...

They can't clean that, those seats would be reupholstered. Cheaper than trying to clean it. Hopefully they changed out the foam cushion when they replaced the fabric.

Anonymous said...

They wouldn't even try to reupholster the seat, "Yea get me a couple BIG trash bags!" I've personally seen this happen to a seat on my streetcar. Yard workers just unscrew the seat cushion and trash it, then screw in a new one. Give the area a good moping then back into service.

Anonymous said...

Those guys are putting it in a trash bag to protect themselves, it's a bodily fluid - a biohazard.

They bring it back to the shop, throw it in a pile of other puked/pissed/pooped/? on seats and send it back to the upholstery guy/gal who has the unique pleasure of ripping the old fabric off the frame, breathing in old barf dust, cleaning the old frame off and putting new fabric/cushion on.

Karen Stintz has a video out there for the undercover boss Canada episode that she did where she helped with putting new upholstery on.

Anonymous said...

Gross.....but awesome!

Leesa Renee Hall said...

Oh how I laughed! CJ, you attract some funny, crazy storytellers to your blog. Dave, this was awesome!

Anonymous said...

Reminds me of the GO trip home after a Friday nite Jays game, except the dogs are human.

Anonymous said...

omg...I am now standing every GO train trip I take. Here's my gross story.... I was coming home from the OVOFest Monday night on the LSE GO with my daughter and we ventured upstairs to get away from the drunks and sat down at a quad only to have my daughter point out the mess at the quad directly across from us and there appeared to be a huge turd sitting on the outside seat, I really didn't want to get closer to inspect so we moved down a few more quads. Apparently a group of people who got on at the next stop confirmed it when they too sat at the quad across from the huge turd. Their responce was comical.
I feel so sorry for the people that have to clean up the GO trains, especially after late night trips home from concerts and special events. People are truly disgusting.