Tuesday, August 23, 2011

In the city ladies look pretty

For those who don't know the rap song, "Bust a Move", read the lyrics first and then come back to this post.
Part of the fun of having this site, as I've mentioned before, is that I allow for people to call and text me. Often the text exchanges are worthy of publishing. This came in this morning. I've nicknamed the sender Young MC or YMC for short.
My replies are in green.

YMC: Hey CJ?


YMC: You on the train?


YMC: Got some time to help me with a dilema?

Does it involve food?

YMC: LOL no. It involves a girl. I don't know if you're up for some romantic advice.

Hell, I'm up for anything seeing as this stupid movie I downloaded to my BB decided to suck ass. What's the problem?

YMC: I like this girl.

Ooh boy. Ain't that a tale for all the fellas?

YMC: She usually sits near me every morning. Some days I swear she runs right for the seat becasue I'll catch her staring at me.

You packing grapefruit?

YMC: LOL no.

Okay just checking. Just want to make sure she's not merely shopping for a banana.

YMC: How can I approach her? Like, what should I do.

How old are you?

YMC: 20. Why?

(Note: I asked because I wanted to have fun with the guy since I had Young MC's "Bust a Move" in my head. The song is pretty old.)

No reason. Just curious.

YMC: How old are you?

Old enough to know more than you.

YMC: Ha ha. Ok. By the way, I love your site. I hope you don't mind me bothering you with this.

Sounds like you're on a mission to cure your lonely condition

YMC: You could say that.

I know how it goes. A chick walks by, you wish you could sext her but you stand by the wall like you was Pointdexter

YMC: Um ok ... ? I wouldn't sext a girl I don't know. Are you calling me a nerd?

Good. That's good to know and no...By the way, is she on the train now?

YMC: Yeah.

So you've spotted a fine woman sitting in your row. Hopin' she says, hello, come sit next to me you fine fellow?

YMC: No, she doesn't talk to me.


YMC: Why are you writing in rhyme?

Wasn't intentional. (By now I'm giggling to myself ... others are staring at me as I type away ... I'm hoping to Christ he doesn't begin to recognize the song.)

Some guys tell jokes so they can seem witty... why not try that? For god's sake, you have to say hello to start!

YMC: I don't think I'm funny enough to just start a conversation with a joke

Listen fatso, don't just stand there, bust a move.

YMC: Ha ha. I just wish I had the nerve. By the way, I'm nice and slender.

Are you one of those guys who looks for love in all the wrong places?

YMC: You could say that.

No fine girls, just ugly faces?

YMC: I like to think I have good taste when it comes to women.

You got money?

YMC: I do all right.

You got a car?

YMC: I do. It's not great ... but I'd like to think I could get a woman to be interested in me for me and not just coz I have some cash and wheels

Here's the thing. Some girls are sophistic. Materialistic. Looking for a man makes them opportunistic. You see them lyin' on the beach, working on a tan? That's so a brother with money can be their man.

YMC: I don't think she's a gold digger.

Well, every dark tunnel has a light of hope...

YMC: You rhyme a lot. It's weird. It's like chatting with Dr. Suess.

(I say nothing ... )

YMC: I think tomorrow I'll try sitting in the same quad that she likes to sit in

If you want it ...

YMC: I should go for it?

You got it ...If you look at this girl and your heart starts thumpin' ... who knows, maybe she wants to dance to a different groove?

YMC: You lost me

Bust a move

YMC: Ok, thanks!

No problem.


Sarah K said...

Pure comic genius. Definitely funny to those of us who grew up in the 90s and know the song!

AngelSil said...

Argh, now that song is STUCK IN MY HEAD

gary said...

Love this song! Of course, now I'll be singing it in my head all day.

purple rain said...

Oh man. Hater's gonna hate when he reads this.

Al said...

That is the funniest effin thing I have heard in a while.

I can't beleive he didn't recognize.

The piondexter killed me.

C.J. Smith said...

I was pretty sure I was going to lose him at one point but nothing ... tears!

Dakota said...

Loved it!!! You are too funny!!!

Walt said...

This may well be the most amusing thing I've seen here in a while.

Well done.

I was once his age. I once did similarly mopish whiny things about women, with me complaining that I didn't know how to do such things as go and talk to someone, and getting all angsty.

I'm not even sure where the impulse to express this comes from, but in retrospect, with 25 years on this kid, I now know how annoying it really is.

There's about a half dozen people I should phone tonight and apologize to for being such a fucking idiot back then.

(Happily married guy with 2 kids now, btw.)

Walt said...


It's no wonder the kid didn't know the song. It came out in 89.

That's two years before Loveless on the LSE was born.


kary said...

Aw the poor kid. He sounds so sincere. Too cute. I hope the girl likes him too.

Kid...start working on the eye-contact. If you catch her checking you out just catch up with her when you get off the train and make some small talk. If she is at all receptive, get in there!

Anonymous said...

How do you know if a girl making eye contact is interested though?

Bicky said...

Comedy gold... The tears are still streaming down my face and the song is stuck in my head. Hilarious!

Last day before vacay so I'll see you in a week... I'm off to Nashville, baby, yeah!

Tyler aka YMC said...

re: haters gonna hate

Please don't worry as I'm in on this. A few minutes after we were done our text exchange, CJ did text me to tell me that she was playing with me and told me what she had done. I really didn't know the song at the time but now that I've watched the video, it is somewhat familiar as I do go to clubs etc.

This girl does seem like she is trying to make eye contact with me some days. I figured I would ask the opinion of an older woman who wasn't my mom. (Dig intended)

Anonymous said...

to the guy: you should wink, and raise your eyebrows up and down?
That should work.

C.J. Smith said...


Who the hell you callin' old?

Al said...

Easy there Tonto,

He said "Older", not old,

Hell the girl he wants to talk to could be older but not OLD.

@YMC, Grab the bull by the horns and say hi, worst thing she rools her eyes and you know she's not worhty.

You dont always catch a fish on the first cast, and when you do you usually toss it back.

Dont worry about what could happen, worry about what wont happen if you do nothing.

Al said...

Gretzky said once, "Every shot not taken is a shot missed"

Worst you can do is miss, but you might "Score" wink, wink, nudge nudge know what I mean, say no more.

C.J. Smith said...


Sure. Let's talk when you return.

Kelly said...

You need a Facebook "like" button so I can share this with the world! Too funny!

Anonymous said...

That was hilarious! Genius!

Anonymous said...

Absolute comic genius! I used to love that song.

@YMC: Any update for us? Did you romance the heck out of her?