Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Just throwing this out there ...

Let's say you were bullied by a girl (or boy) older than you for the entire time you were in Grades 7, 8, 9 and 10. You never did anything to this person. Never could understand why she hated you so much.

Now, imagine you're at the GO Concourse on your way home (tonight) and a woman walks into you and her bag falls to the floor. You bend to help her pick her stuff up and your eyes lock. You see a flicker of recognition in her eyes but for you, all of a sudden it's like the station went small and you were sucked into a vortex, and it's December 1990, and you're running down a hall to get away from this bitch who spent the past 10 minutes making fun of your hair in front of a dozen girls from a different school invited to partake in a volleyball tournament.

"Do I know you from somewhere?" She asks.

I don't know what came over me. I stood up and said, "F*ck you." And I walked off. I was so rattled that I nearly took the wrong train home as I went to the wrong platform.

For the past two hours I've been replaying the whole scene over in my mind. And I'm pissed that I'm letting this get to me. I bet she thought the whole situation was amusing. Bullies never stop being bullies.

I know this much is true.


Anonymous said...

she probably went home, called up the half dozen or so girls she's still friends with from high school and laughed about you all night. that's what i would have done.

C.J. Smith said...

Actually, if she did figure out who I was, I bet she never gave me a second thought.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to laugh at your expense, but your reaction was hilarious. I, too, was severely bullied in high school and can definitely empathize, but you have such a way with words and story telling.

C.J. Smith said...

I'm glad I didn't go into the explicit fantasies I had during the train ride home of dunking this girl in a pile of steaming poop.

RonNasty said...

At least you could have stomped on some of her loot, and then told her to take a hike.

Anonymous said...

Wow. For once I am extremely grateful that we were semi-nomadic grwoing up (Padre is in the Oil business) and that I will never see any of my bullies again.

Yes, Bullies never stop being bullies (especially those who peaked in high school) but I betcha she spent some time trying to figure out who you were and what she did wrong - and never come up with something that happened 20 years ago.

GOTransitBitch said...

Bullies will never stop being bullies and, sadly, victims will never stop being victims. It's too bad the system can't figure that out. The aftermath of abuse never leaves the victim; it lives on in nightmares, dysfunctional relationships and self-deprication. The victim must live with this for the rest of their lives, and the predator gets a mere slap on the wrist. And to those who say "get over it", I say "Fuck you". Anyone who says "get over it" hasn't been a victim.

So, kudos to you, honey! Kudos for not pushing her onto the tracks and kudos for being brave enough to talk about it.

lswgirl13 said...

I stand and applaud you!!! A good, cleansing "FUCK YOU" is sometimes all that needs to be said.

Might I recommend a new banner with her lying in a steaming pile of poop?

Sounds like alot of you were bullied and I have to say that NEVER happened to me or my kids, I can't imagine how that must feel.

Al said...

Poor CJ,

I was also bullied, beaten up and harrased till high school. My only regret is not standing up for my self then.

Same thing happened to me not too long ago, I bumped into someone who used to throw sharpened pencil's at my oversized gut. I wanted to have the same reaction as you and was a little more than stunned when I looked at him after "he" initiated the hello. Instead I said hello, shook thier hand, got to talking and by the end of it was happy enough he was employed moving boxes and office furniture, while I was employed to occupy the office furniture and fill the boxes he will eventual;ly have to move.


TomW said...

Speaking of Karma... I was visiting my parents a couple of years ago, and as I had receievd a (small) bonus for a successful project, I took them out for dinner. Behind the bar was the person who had bullied me through much of school until he was expelled. I basically ignored him, but took great satisfaction in the fact that my life going much better than his, but it was going better for precisely the reasons he bullied me (me being smarter/working harder at school).

Karma again :-)

Shauna said...

I agree with GoTransitBitch.

A few years ago, one of the girls who mercilessly bullied me in grade school turned up working in the same building as me.
The first time I saw her, old feelings came rushing back, and the old fears hit me like it hadn't been over 25 years since I had seen this person. I wish I had done what you did!

I applaud you as well.

Anonymous said...

you should have tried to make out with her?
i dunno, i would have 'panicked' and done that.

mumzthewurd said...

I hope you said that as you deposited her belongings in the closest trash bin where she belongs.

C.J. Smith said...

No. I have replayed the whole situation over in my head now at least a thousand times about how I could have reacted. The eff bomb is all I had at the time.