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Monday, December 12, 2011

Letter from a rail nut ...


from: railnut@xxxxxxxxxxx.ca
to: cj@thiscrazytrain.com
date: Mon, Dec 12, 2011 at 8:40 AM
subject: Understanding locomotives

Hello,

I'm writing to you to point out something you said on your website about older GO Transit locomotives, specifically this article found at this URL: http://www.thiscrazytrain.com/2011/03/old-skool-will-it-chug-i-think-i-can-i.html. You titled it, "Old skool. Will it chug? I think I can, I think I can, I think I can ... ".

Laugh if you want, but I found that offensive. There's nothing "old skool" about these locomotives. The F59PH locomotives were designed to carry a limited amount of coaches. In fact, the numbered locomotive in the photo you published is the last of the series where EMD stopped building these in 1994. GO Transit began to phase out their use in 2008 which bears question about the date of your article, that being March of this year. This would not have been an express train as typically rush hour service makes use of the MP40PH-3C which offers more horsepower and can push/pull 12 coaches. If you are going to show older locomotives, please ensure you at least give more information such as the time and what station. This will show some respect for the technology and also the fact that MetroLinx (not to be confused with Metrolink in California, who coincidentally, also use the F59PH locomotives) isn't some archaic dinosaur of a transit system.

I strongly suggest that if you are going to demonstrate to your audience a knowledge of rail in Ontario that you do your research. One of my favourite blogs is Train of the Week. Here's more info about the MP40PH-3C: http://trainoftheweek.blogspot.com/2010/05/motivepower-mp40ph-3c.html.

Moreover, I invite you to consider me a friend and should you ever need clarification or assistance with locomotive information or rail in Canada you can contact me at your leisure.

A little bit more about myself. I'm 47. I'm unmarried and live in the same house I grew up in. I have been collecting model trains since I was 11 and have been interested in rail systems since my late teens. I attend all kinds of rail and train shows and have many friends who also share my interests. I enjoy British humour, Dr. Who, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings and have a fondness for all things Star Wars. Surprisingly, I don't like Star Trek. I have worked for the last 20 years as an accountant for a large law firm. I enjoy traveling and writing poetry. If you'd like, I can send you a photo of myself or we can Skype each other so you have a better idea of what I look like so you can put a face to the name.

Sincerely,
Ronald Xxxxxxxxxx
(613) 726-XXXX

from: cj@thiscrazytrain.com
to: railnut@xxxxxxxxxxx.ca
date: Mon, Dec 12, 2011 at 7:50 PM
subject: re: Understanding locomotives

Hi Ron,
Is it okay I call you Ron? Nothing against the name Ronald but I immediately think of clowns and I don't like clowns and considering most kids are terrified of clowns, I always found it astounding that McDonald's still chose to use a clown to sell food to children. Don't you?

I'm not a liar so I have to be upfront and honest if we're going to be pals, okay? Here goes. When you wrote all that stuff to me about locomotives and something about California, I had a sudden urge to squirt grapefruit juice in my eyes. That was painful. Why? I'm just not a rail chick. I get on a train everyday and hope it gets me from Oshawa to Union station like it's supposed to. I figure if GO is using a certain locomotive, I have to trust that GO knows that the one they use is better than a donkey and a cart. Or a dog sled. Tho sometimes in the dead of winter, I feel that GO could make good use of a dog sled. How much do you know about dog sledding? I could easily go to Wikipedia.com and throw out some factoids that I'm sure would wow your pants off but I don't like to wow the pants off any man who isn't my husband.

When I was a kid and when I was done watching The Polka Dot Door, followed by Today's Special and then that rotten show called Fables of the Green Forest, I'd get ready to haul ass from the couch to the front of the tv to slap it off before I heard the horrible strains of that tecno synth and then impending "Ooooooh Woooooh Oooooh.... " Don't get me started on that stupid telephone booth. Shit gave me nightmares. You couldn't get me to use a telephone booth as a kid to save your life because I was sure some trash can with cascading inverted coffee cups down its sides and a busted antenna on its head, looking like an R2D2 rip-off, was going to kidnap me and transport me to this evil place where people spoke English weird and wore ascots. But hey, you had me at not liking Star Trek. Don't even get me started on that mess.

One night, as torture, when I was 7-months pregnant, my husband asked me to watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy. The hell was that!? I swear I sat there for 12 hours while some naked Gremlin screaming about Precious hopped around and shit. I kept waiting for Buffalo Bill to show up and come get his goddamn dog. What those people needed were a bunch of Boy Scouts. They would have got that friggen ring and sewed a couple of badges on to reward the effort with their toes and eyes closed.

I don't Skype so I don't see how that will work. You can send over a picture if you want. I'm not sure what to say to that. I'd hate to say no because I fear I'd leave you lying in bed tonight crying in your pillow but you seem like a decent guy so for sure, if I need rail info such as top speed, how many windows in a cab, how many cupholders, what kind of leather the interior is, etc., you bet I'm gonna hollah at you. Okay? Have a great night.

CJ

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Still live in the house I grew up in".
I gotta give Ronald credit. That's one way to say you still live with mom and dad at 47.

C.J. Smith said...

No email back yet. I sure hope Ron has a sense of humour!

NN said...

I doubt he has a sense of humor - his letter is a wee bit disturbing. OR he has an excellent SOH and will come back with a funny retort.

Squiggles said...

With all those likes and dislikes, I can see why Ron is still living in his parent's basement.

But his retort should be good. Oh, sweet jeebus, I hope it is good.

Skin Man said...

I must admit I never saw the lengthy self description and watery come-on, tacked on to the end of the rant.

I hope we get some sort of response.

BTW: I loved the Ronald clown in the train window!

C.J. Smith said...

Thanks SM!

I am hoping I scared him off actually. I really don't want to engage any rail nuts.

Anonymous said...

@squiggles - Living in his parents' basement LOL (you beat me to it)

Anonymous said...

Accountant? sounds more like an Actuary.

Sure, call me Ron said...

I'm a little taken aback but I will admit I did not spend a great deal of time on your site to see it for what it is. My apologies.

I do have a good sense of humour which is why I am not mad. When I got your email back to me I couldn't understand why you went off on the tangents you did. My first reaction was: "This woman is very strange". I was actually a little put off, truth be told.

I'm still not sure what to make of you.

lswgirl13 said...

I got $10 that says Ron is a virgin.

Squiggles said...

Ron, believe us, the tangents are the best part of this site!

If I can find it, the best one of the day was the bathroom one. Found it!

http://www.thiscrazytrain.com/2011/11/gues-whos-back-back-again-douche-is.html

I think this sums up CJ's humour the best.

purple rain said...

@Squiggles

THAT'S MY FAVOURITE REPLY YET!!!

Squiggles said...

@purple rain: I know! i still giggle whenever I think of it. In fact, now that the lost has been found I may save it to someplace logical as a pcik-me-up.

@lswgirl: I wouldn't take you on that bet. I think Ron enjoyed himself with a girl/boy/whatever back in college and discovered that the joy was one-sided. That is what spurred on the fanaticism of the rails.

Skin Man said...

Let's not all pile on Ron....even if that's what he desperately needs! I think that rail heads had an interesting bit of story. Did anyone else check out the link for the story from that gent who designed and built the GO. I thought the stories were awesome. The hand shoveling by management was a ripping good read.

I am only teasing...I really did like reading that stuff.